She's okay!

I spoke with her this morning and she is okay! Whew! I was really worried last night! They talked it over again and I think things are better between them. You know it could be me or anyone else next time. It's okay! That is what friends are for, to share you pain and concerns. We are here for you! Well, since I drank a tank load last night, I certainly do not feel like running today..at all. All though it would probably work wonders for me. I'm not depressed. I'm tired because I got about four hours of sleep last night. And running can wait until my wounds heal..from where I fell the othe day. Oh if you get the chance watch on HBO "Hacking Democracy" and then vote! I'm typing and I fell asleep...time for a short nap.

Can't put it into words....

It's very hard when you love someone. I don't expect her to love me in return; but, yet, I worried about her tonight. She was rejected and depressed. I love her very much! I hope she is okay! I worried about her. She doesn't even have her dog to comfort her. I should have invited her over. I guess because I care I feel as if I did the wrong things; that I possibly could have done more. I pray she is okay! Was her telling me she was on medication a clue that maybe I should have paid more attention too? Now, I'm left here to worry. I hope she thinks to charge her phone. God, I worry about her. She doesn't even live in a decent area. She had her heart broken this evening. Her dreams crushed. She all alone. I should have had her come here...maybe I shouldn't have left her alone. And now I left to worry and pray. I beg the universe, the lord, to let her be a home sleeping and that her phone is charging. I pray with all my heart that she is safe. I wouldn't be able to bear it if something were to happen to her. It will be raining later this morning; It's 3:00 AM now and I see the rain moving in on the radar screen updates. I won't be doing the run I was signed up to do. I could spend a nice rainy day at home with a fire burning in the fireplace. I'm content to be alone today. I'll check on her or have another friend check on her. I pray she is okay. Guess I'll wash my face and brush my teeth and head to bed. I prayed and there is no more I can do for now. I pray she is safe and will feel better later this morning. It will be raining. I think the temperature is too cool to run in the rain later this morning. I want to snuggle by the fire. I already have my mind made up. I feel bad. I feel bad for another's pain and I feel bad for causing pain. I hope I haven't and don't cause pain. I pray! Good night!

Cigs vs. eateries...

Just where do smokers get OFF thinking they can control a proprietor's decisions. It's the smokers vs. the non-smokers (you know the people with the education and brains and insurance). Most smokers don't even have insurance. So guess who gets stuck with their health cost expenses - yeah, you, the taxpayers! Paying for people who have deliberately made themselves sick. They had a choice; but, they choose smoking and now you are paying for their medical bills - you the taxpayer!

And smokers expect you to inhale their smoke when you go out to eat in a restaurant. They think that they have the right to smoke up the air you breath. This does not seems right to me.

The smoker sitting at a restuarant featured in the newspaper said. "I come to this restaurant and bar every week and our tag is usually around $150. Do you want to lose my money?"

I said. "YES". Take your cigarette smoke somewhere else, preferrably your home, I don't want to inhale and smile the filthy stuff. How dare you pollute the air I am expected to breath. It's dirty and nasty and fowl. I truly believe that when this smoker guy leaves the restaurant, and others like him, for good..more non-smokers will patronize the establishment.

To you smokers..in all honesty you don't look very bright sitting there blowing smoke. And look at all the money you are spending on this fifthy stuff.

Personally, I hope the majority of the people vote to end the smoking in public places.

Air pollution...can't stand it. In the early 1900's the Ford auto industry forced out the electric car even back then oil, government and auto and other big industries were in cahoots.

Where is my clean air? I'm a runner. I'm out there inhaling all this crap from the tailpipes of cars and there is no reason for me to have to do this. GM had electric cars in production and people who drove them loved them. But GM would only lease and wouldn't let people buy them..so from the get-go GM didn't want the car to succeed. Well, auto, oil and government are all in cahoots. Sorry, electric companies, you just lose out.

The American public needs to demand the things that they want. We need to over haul the federal government.

Rev. Ted Haggard steps down - routinely?

Haggard got caught with his pants down didn't he? Yeah, carrying on an affair with a gay man and paying him between 200 - 300 at every encounter. Yeah, your church donations at work. Did you really know where your money was going..would you have contributed the money if you knew it was paying for sex? Yes, Rev. Ted Haggard stepped down as PRESIDENT of the influential National Association of Evangelicals today after it was found out that he was having an affair with a gay man. Gee! Do you think the gay affair will continue? Haggard quit is 14,000 member New Life Church while a church panel investigates the bad boys behavior. What's to investigate? Haggard is a married father of five...oh and he is not gay! What would make you think he was gay? He probably was molested by a priest as a child or; I know, he probably has a drinking problem and will join Mark Foley in rehab! Yeah...no much for the hypocrites who roam the isles of the church! As far as I am concerned they are all a bunch of self-serving hypocrites. Just why do you think they wanted alter boys? A church perk? Beware of men in power people! Yes, the government might as well allow gays to marry and society should embrace homosexuality. Why? Well, society is loaded with them and might as well face up to the fact that they are tax paying productive citizens. Give up the secrecy and hypocrisy. Haggard you hypocrite! YOUR GAY! YOU ARE FUCKING GAY! How dare you govern over homosexuals and say it's a sin! Or say what is right for the government to do for gays and lesbians. GET OUT OF HERE YOU HYPOCRITE! Such bull shit...now you know why I do not associate with any religion..it's all crap! Made up crap! I am a spiritual being...the POWER lies within me and each and every one of us to create our own realities....we DO NOT NEED religion.....telling me or the government how to live my life when you and they, the government, are no better than I am.. In fact, I AM BETTER THAN YOU ARE! HYPOCRITE!

That's What I get..

I let it all up to the universe and my life is now full of surprises..but magical! I had a great evening with great friends. They learned a lot about me this evening. We were speaking about sex and things, as usual. One asked what type of woman we prefer. It got around to me and I was rather speakless. Well, it just a little tough to answer without any notice. B-bop says like so and so. Who? Well then I had to tell the story. It was okay. I still love B-bop. You would have thought E. F. Hutton was speaking the way they all scooted their chairs up closer. Oh well! I'm just a little shy when it comes to personal things like sex. So, I guess I'm getting more than a lot of younger single women! I had no idea! I guess life is magical! I know the powers of the universe are getting a big kick out of this. I can tell they have a wonderful sense of humor. Of course if B-bop spills the beans but it's okay..I love her deary so she can get away with anything. Actually, I think her doing so brought us even closer together. She is magical in herself. I love her deary. Universe please send her someone very sweet who would never hurt her. Someone just as sweet as she is - okay? Besides I guess she owes me an embarrassing moment. God knows I embarrassed her good a couple of weeks ago at the bar. I drank my drinks a little to fast...I was going to tell her something so I leaned close so she could hear about the lough music then suddenly it was just right there so I decided to kiss her cheek instead. "You're so cute!" I said. I embarrassed the hell out of her. For that I apologized profusely. And I believe she got me back this evening. But, kissing her cheek: Priceless! So, went my evening. I managed to be life of the evening...once again. Every once in a while I pull something crazy. A month or so ago I went to a bonfire and took my guitar but drank maybe one too many before hand. Not bad; but, I wonder? I had one witty line I thought as I passed around margaritas for everyone in a handy dandy plastic flask. You would have thought I was selling them the way I bragged about the different flavors and the plastic bottle not breaking as I threw one down on the hard cold ground near the fire. Yes, I thought that I had one especially clever line and that was. "Just remember, the more you drink the better I sound." Another priceless moment...well I thought so anyway. I think they all got a big kick out of me singing and playing my guitar. I knew half the people there....well, there were only eight of us The evening was magical.. I had prayed before that event too! Remember be careful what you ask for; cause, you are more likely than now to receive it.

A wonderful weekend....to celebrate a world win

Yes, the Redbirds won the World Series. I knew they would. I got the inside scoop! I know people in very high places. The weekend was perfect. Great friends, things went as hoped, including a win!

I had a magical moment when I went looking for a t-shirt to celebrate the grand event. I wanted a small long sleeve. All were short sleeve L and XL. But there amongst the L and XL hung a size 14-16 boys with long sleeves. I tried it on - perfect fit. Even fit better than a Median and tucks nicely into my pants.

I am sleepy and think I will go to sleep and dream of her. Tomorrow evening I will meditate and pray for the best way for things to turn out. I will pray that I will think of the correct and loving things that will make things work out for all those involved. My afternoon visitor, does make my other love that is so far out of reach, bearable.

I am in love and I think I realize that now. I can't ruin her trust in me. I want us to always be friends. Words are not mentioned - except maybe little hints. I think she loves me too. We are out-of-range. But, in so many words, she says age doesn't matter. I don't think she is dismissing me but hanging in there. She knows about the afternoon thing. But, the afternoon one is not one that I am in love it. So, in my heart, I know that I won't be able to go on like this for a long time.

Universe, please give her a wonderful day. Please keep her safe and happy and always glad to see me. I want her to love me too. I know that sounds selfish. But, we create our own realities. I think that it's impossible. But, is it? Could if ever actually happen? She's so much like I am. I don't think we would lose ourselves because we are both giving and loving. It's a good match; but, the timing is just a little off according to society. It's not that it's never been done. I am sure that it has however.

I need to give up my afternoon of bliss. Or do I? I need the universe to help me out. I'm not in love with her. I enjoy and right now need her company, but, I'm not in love with her.

But this other person; It seems we gravite together anyway. I don't want to lose her. I love her. So, universe please help me out - will you?

My intention affects my world..

my thoughts create my world. We are intrintic to the whole belief of reality. Two electrons: If one is moved a great distance away they are still connected. If one breaks his leg in Russia and one breaks it's leg in Colorado they are still connected. I'm speaking of quantum physics. We are beings of light. We are sending and receiving small particls of light..coming out of our DNA. The communications between each other are cells talking to each other. The ground state is the zero point field. It's a lower ground state energy. Nasca believes that if we discover this we can tap into this to get to outer space. Our bodies are connected to objects too. Little packets of energy. A tangle between our electrons and the electrons of the zero point field. If we would believe that we are all connected, we would be kinder to the planet. We would be more fair in monetary transactions. We wouldn't be out to win no matter what. We would listen to our intution more. We would look at other ways to look at things. Sometimes the true intentions are letting go and letting in. Distant healing works. These are all part of learning to live with the zero point field. We can pray to a larger entity and allow ourselves to be channeled for it. We need to work together through quantum physics. Thought can affect living systems. We don't need a lot of equipment just our thoughts. Thoughts last forever. There is retro prayer too. Maybe no beginning and end. We can make better and pray for things.