My friend is suggesting a bike trip, which would be just fine; but, I want a romantic trip, not a "friends" trip. I wanted to take my love of last year to the beach..show her the beach. I truly loved her. I didn't expect it to even last as long as it did. I felt she could do better..I even suggested as much...it didn't take much to push her away. But in the ned, now, I miss her terribly.
It was never about what she could do for me. I celebrated her.. in my life. She was a treasure to me. I wish I could have known her as a little girl. I just thought that she was the most precious thing there ever was. I adored her. She was perfect in every way, cute, brilliant, sexy, her own person. Yes, she was hard to be with at times..but even those were good times. We should have talked more. I was afraid of pushing her futher away. She took my breath away I so didn't want to lose her.
I told her I would love her....for ever...unconditionally... no matter what.
I think we met because I was meant to love her ....but I didn't want it to end...I just needed a little space that's all....just a little.
I wish she needed me just a little. It's a wonderful thing to be needed...and I felt that way. I was just beginning to get comfortable.. to do things are her....gone. It's all gone.
Well, if she didn't mean so much to me then I wouldn't be missing her so much now...
I wish her the best....I pray she is happy and healthy and everything is going well for her.
I keep wanting someone to come along and distract me for god's sake.....so far it's doesn't appear to be happening. So, what is the big deal? Why can't I move on....I want to move on............
I'm working on it...
It's been nine months......it's over........I know that.... I'm not a total idiot!
My heart needs a replacement.
Universe! Hello! I could use a little help here.........let's speed things up a little........
Any help you can offer me.... I would gladly appreciate.
Okay, I'm out of here.......
Monday, May 08, 2006
No way is there a Segway for me!
Well, I shouldn't have gone I guess in the first place. but I gave it a go yesterday even though the Segway goes against all my principles of getting from point A to B using your own power.
I tried it but the Segway made me feel weird..dizzy when I stepped off. I just didn't like the feeling... I would rather walk, run, or bicycle.
I watched the video and then tried it and then got my $65.00 back... Yes! I was polite and tried it. The other seven did it and loved it; so good for them. Oh, they had some close calls almost running into one another, but nothing serious.
I went home while they did the tour around the park and checked on Emma, my dog, then went back when it was time to play golf. I love golf. I'm getting a new driver; it's on the way, from Ebay.
After golf at dinner..they were feeling sore but had happy stories to share
I tried it but the Segway made me feel weird..dizzy when I stepped off. I just didn't like the feeling... I would rather walk, run, or bicycle.
I watched the video and then tried it and then got my $65.00 back... Yes! I was polite and tried it. The other seven did it and loved it; so good for them. Oh, they had some close calls almost running into one another, but nothing serious.
I went home while they did the tour around the park and checked on Emma, my dog, then went back when it was time to play golf. I love golf. I'm getting a new driver; it's on the way, from Ebay.
After golf at dinner..they were feeling sore but had happy stories to share
Bout died on your birthday!
But, since I survived.........oh well....didn't die to live another day....
Anyway, here I am heading out to the PA bridge on the trail. No body out there but me. Oh, just for the guy I passed ways back...no biggie.
I crest a hill, I'm doing 20. I see the old guy in the right lane ahead...just walking slowly ahead of me.....no problem. Right? Wrong!
I begin to move to the left lane to pass...this will only take a second. I check my mirror....it's clear. Nothing is coming up behind me. It's okay to move into the left lane to pass this old dude.
I'm about six steps away...HE decides to make a sharp left...do not ask me why? He does not LOOK first to see if anyone (like me) is coming up from behind. He takes another step and by now his shoulder is about eight inches from mine...........all I can get out is a aaaaaaaaa.
I clear the son-of-a-bitch who never blinked an eye and keeps walking...over my left shoulder I yell; I think I said "asshole - watch where you are going...and then some....don't think I didn't.
In two minutes the guy I passed came up around and said..."I think he meant to wipe you out!"
"Well, he almost did". Whew! He would have scared me more if it wasn't all over in about two seconds. There was no one else in sight! What timing....what karma.......I tell ya.. I draw 'em to me like a magnet! Just what are the odds... if this guy wouldn't have witnessed it.. I would have thought I was losing my mind....he was no where in sight twenty minutes later on my return trip. Go figure!
Note: I don't usually ride 20 mph.. I had a tail wind...but I'm getting stronger..I do it to get the firmness and to feel fit and tight.
Happy birthday to me........
Anyway, here I am heading out to the PA bridge on the trail. No body out there but me. Oh, just for the guy I passed ways back...no biggie.
I crest a hill, I'm doing 20. I see the old guy in the right lane ahead...just walking slowly ahead of me.....no problem. Right? Wrong!
I begin to move to the left lane to pass...this will only take a second. I check my mirror....it's clear. Nothing is coming up behind me. It's okay to move into the left lane to pass this old dude.
I'm about six steps away...HE decides to make a sharp left...do not ask me why? He does not LOOK first to see if anyone (like me) is coming up from behind. He takes another step and by now his shoulder is about eight inches from mine...........all I can get out is a aaaaaaaaa.
I clear the son-of-a-bitch who never blinked an eye and keeps walking...over my left shoulder I yell; I think I said "asshole - watch where you are going...and then some....don't think I didn't.
In two minutes the guy I passed came up around and said..."I think he meant to wipe you out!"
"Well, he almost did". Whew! He would have scared me more if it wasn't all over in about two seconds. There was no one else in sight! What timing....what karma.......I tell ya.. I draw 'em to me like a magnet! Just what are the odds... if this guy wouldn't have witnessed it.. I would have thought I was losing my mind....he was no where in sight twenty minutes later on my return trip. Go figure!
Note: I don't usually ride 20 mph.. I had a tail wind...but I'm getting stronger..I do it to get the firmness and to feel fit and tight.
Happy birthday to me........
The 3rd was my ex's Brithday
My! I found myself choking up...my ex by two years (we were together fifteen years) thanked me for helping celebrate her birthday. She said I was very kind...and I made her "happy". It was the "happy" when I read it made me choke up. I hate to disappoint people! Or let people down!
I had to move on there were other hearts waiting for me...and still are..on this journey...this time around. I wonder how it will all end.
Anyway. It is very nice to know that people care. My friend Kristi thanks me for being her friend. Is that too sweet or what? She thinks that she is complaining about her job...or her aches and pain..but I don't really view it as that, complaining. It's conversation. And besides, she tries to find ways to correct or change what is troubling her. So she is just not complaining for complaining's sake.
Okay, I'm off. I have walked Emma. Now I need to go past the Alpine shop to see what I got for my two Cannondale's. I hope what I asked! I will put the money toward the new HDTV flat screen I just bought.
Well, I'm so glad that I was successful in helping my friend (my ex) celebrate her birthday. Made my day.
I hope ....the 8th has a great birthday too! You know how cats just bug the hell out of people they know don't like them? That's probably how she views me. I'm that little pain the ass, that keeps showing up.....
Thank 3rd, for letting me help you celebrate! I love making people happy.
I had to move on there were other hearts waiting for me...and still are..on this journey...this time around. I wonder how it will all end.
Anyway. It is very nice to know that people care. My friend Kristi thanks me for being her friend. Is that too sweet or what? She thinks that she is complaining about her job...or her aches and pain..but I don't really view it as that, complaining. It's conversation. And besides, she tries to find ways to correct or change what is troubling her. So she is just not complaining for complaining's sake.
Okay, I'm off. I have walked Emma. Now I need to go past the Alpine shop to see what I got for my two Cannondale's. I hope what I asked! I will put the money toward the new HDTV flat screen I just bought.
Well, I'm so glad that I was successful in helping my friend (my ex) celebrate her birthday. Made my day.
I hope ....the 8th has a great birthday too! You know how cats just bug the hell out of people they know don't like them? That's probably how she views me. I'm that little pain the ass, that keeps showing up.....
Thank 3rd, for letting me help you celebrate! I love making people happy.
Happy Birthday!
Good morning to the birthday girl!
I'm sending a big hug and kiss your way......
Have a Fabulous day!
May all your dreams come true!
Know in your heart, that I will always love you!
I'm sending a big hug and kiss your way......
Have a Fabulous day!
May all your dreams come true!
Know in your heart, that I will always love you!
Sunday, May 07, 2006
Beautiful Sunday
Loving myself - is that the lesson to be learned?
I'm learning. I do love myself! I'm always here - faithful and beautiful - responsive to my touch. This perfect being. It's beautiful and perfect because I think it so. Unlike my morning coffee - too strong or the half raisin whatever bagel I found and burned black smothering the aroma of the patchouli incense but unable to drown out the music of the world.
Think it and my body reponds..on the trails, on the hills, under the sheets in your arms.
My heart beats for love of life and the loves and hearts that are out of reach.
I have a lot of love in my heart - it's my purpose. Funny, everyone is at a totally different place in time....and that's okay, for in the interim I'll just learn to love myself even more and life
Life is magical...hearts heal, birds sing, friends smile, the sun's rays kiss my face, the gentle breezes caress my skin and my arms hold my body at night in the dark in the big bed missing you.
I'm learning. I do love myself! I'm always here - faithful and beautiful - responsive to my touch. This perfect being. It's beautiful and perfect because I think it so. Unlike my morning coffee - too strong or the half raisin whatever bagel I found and burned black smothering the aroma of the patchouli incense but unable to drown out the music of the world.
Think it and my body reponds..on the trails, on the hills, under the sheets in your arms.
My heart beats for love of life and the loves and hearts that are out of reach.
I have a lot of love in my heart - it's my purpose. Funny, everyone is at a totally different place in time....and that's okay, for in the interim I'll just learn to love myself even more and life
Life is magical...hearts heal, birds sing, friends smile, the sun's rays kiss my face, the gentle breezes caress my skin and my arms hold my body at night in the dark in the big bed missing you.
Friday, May 05, 2006
The Price of Gas
Karl Rove, the president's ace strategist, says "wait" for the market to work it's magic, that the stratopheric pricing will reduce demands eventually. I think he will have a rude awakening come November.
Ask any giant SUV owner at the pump showing sale up to $75 or more, after a fill up and he would suggest voting everyone in office out come November. And that probably is a sure thing with the Republican popularity gauge already showing a few quarts low.
Black gold has never been so profitable, thanks to a surging global demand. China and Indian raising economies are demanding more now too. ExxonMobil announced quarterly earnings of $8.4 billion. Bush suggested a pitiful temporary idea of diverting crude from strategic petroleum reserves to the market.
Bush is calling for more tax incentives for hybrid cars, fewer environmental hurdles for refinery builders, drilling wells in the Arctic and forcing auto manufacturers to raise mileage requrements on cars. Yes, amazingly so, when the giant size SUV's came on the scene, isn't that something, there was no fuel requirement category for them...seems one couldn't be written for some reason? So huge SUV's have had no mileage requirements. How convienent!
Bush's thing about messing up the environment irritates me. This is not necessary. Again, he is giving refineries and big business a break at the expense of furture generations.
Americans are natural gas hogs. I'm confused here, I just can't see where the American public cannot take responsbility on the problem on to themselves. DOWNSIZE is the key word here! We are a country spoiled by excess, I guess? Is huge a sign of success: Big house, big ass gas guzzling SUVs with only a driver inside, big gut, big ass, big ass burgers, big ass debt. Credit cards maxed to hell. But, we look rich! We look good!
I applause the country of Brazil. Hats off to you! They took note during the gas crunch of the 70's and nothing gets wasted of their sugar cane crop. What isn't used for sugar gets made into ethanol. They predict that by 2007 they will be petroleum free! Makes you wonder doesn't it?
FedEx and UPS has to charge more too now. Of course UPS makes two trips to everyone's door. First to put that little yellow sticker on your door, so you can sign it, as if you wouldn't; and then to come back the next day to actually give you your package. It's so irritating! I mean, come on, agreeing to have the package shipped via UPS should be signature enough? Have you ever NOT signed that little yellow sticker. What's the deal? That right there could save UPS just about a third of the money they spend in gas. If it's a legal thing.....have it rewritten!
Oil has been a great opportunity for heads of countries who are on less than friendly terms with the USA. Hugo Chavez, president of Venezuela, has taken state control of some of its oil fields and has threatened ExxonMobil and others with raising royalties and lowering profits.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, president of Iran, is taking full advantage of the situation. Iran threatens to stop pumping and stock traders immediately bid up the price of future oil contracts.
But, we did it to ourselves. We have always known this time would come, yet we as a society has chosen to ignore it. Of course, having a president in favor of big business profits doesn't help the middle class any.
I think I would think about trading in that huge SUV while you can still get something for it. I just read where auto makers are expecting sales to go down next year.
The middle class should take lessons from big corporations who have been downsizing for years.
It will never happen, but I envision a city filled with hugo's, mini coopers, smart cars, motorcyles, mo-peds, segways and bicycles. Runner's and walker on their way to work. Places of work could easily install showers and locker rooms. Improved mass transit and bus deals could be put into place. Society and the work place will just have to make adjustments. People could move closer to work or work more from home with more conference calls There will be less planes in the sky, therefore less clouds, and a prettier blue sky, less pollution, happier people, and healthier people. We could learn from Europeans who walk everywhere they need to go.
Ask any giant SUV owner at the pump showing sale up to $75 or more, after a fill up and he would suggest voting everyone in office out come November. And that probably is a sure thing with the Republican popularity gauge already showing a few quarts low.
Black gold has never been so profitable, thanks to a surging global demand. China and Indian raising economies are demanding more now too. ExxonMobil announced quarterly earnings of $8.4 billion. Bush suggested a pitiful temporary idea of diverting crude from strategic petroleum reserves to the market.
Bush is calling for more tax incentives for hybrid cars, fewer environmental hurdles for refinery builders, drilling wells in the Arctic and forcing auto manufacturers to raise mileage requrements on cars. Yes, amazingly so, when the giant size SUV's came on the scene, isn't that something, there was no fuel requirement category for them...seems one couldn't be written for some reason? So huge SUV's have had no mileage requirements. How convienent!
Bush's thing about messing up the environment irritates me. This is not necessary. Again, he is giving refineries and big business a break at the expense of furture generations.
Americans are natural gas hogs. I'm confused here, I just can't see where the American public cannot take responsbility on the problem on to themselves. DOWNSIZE is the key word here! We are a country spoiled by excess, I guess? Is huge a sign of success: Big house, big ass gas guzzling SUVs with only a driver inside, big gut, big ass, big ass burgers, big ass debt. Credit cards maxed to hell. But, we look rich! We look good!
I applause the country of Brazil. Hats off to you! They took note during the gas crunch of the 70's and nothing gets wasted of their sugar cane crop. What isn't used for sugar gets made into ethanol. They predict that by 2007 they will be petroleum free! Makes you wonder doesn't it?
FedEx and UPS has to charge more too now. Of course UPS makes two trips to everyone's door. First to put that little yellow sticker on your door, so you can sign it, as if you wouldn't; and then to come back the next day to actually give you your package. It's so irritating! I mean, come on, agreeing to have the package shipped via UPS should be signature enough? Have you ever NOT signed that little yellow sticker. What's the deal? That right there could save UPS just about a third of the money they spend in gas. If it's a legal thing.....have it rewritten!
Oil has been a great opportunity for heads of countries who are on less than friendly terms with the USA. Hugo Chavez, president of Venezuela, has taken state control of some of its oil fields and has threatened ExxonMobil and others with raising royalties and lowering profits.
Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, president of Iran, is taking full advantage of the situation. Iran threatens to stop pumping and stock traders immediately bid up the price of future oil contracts.
But, we did it to ourselves. We have always known this time would come, yet we as a society has chosen to ignore it. Of course, having a president in favor of big business profits doesn't help the middle class any.
I think I would think about trading in that huge SUV while you can still get something for it. I just read where auto makers are expecting sales to go down next year.
The middle class should take lessons from big corporations who have been downsizing for years.
It will never happen, but I envision a city filled with hugo's, mini coopers, smart cars, motorcyles, mo-peds, segways and bicycles. Runner's and walker on their way to work. Places of work could easily install showers and locker rooms. Improved mass transit and bus deals could be put into place. Society and the work place will just have to make adjustments. People could move closer to work or work more from home with more conference calls There will be less planes in the sky, therefore less clouds, and a prettier blue sky, less pollution, happier people, and healthier people. We could learn from Europeans who walk everywhere they need to go.
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