What a Great Group of Women

There is nothing that can compare to great discussion! Some people have the talent to extract provoking thoughts from people. Carol did a great job of getting everyone thinking. The subject of relationships always bring about great discussion; we can all relate or not relate in Carol's case.

As I drove home I went over the topics of the evening, I wondered why the "L" word wasn't brought up more? The love word, not the Showtime series.

We had discussed meeting people, dating, sex (mostly sex) and coping with our lover's idiosyncrasies. It was suggested that ,"You never really know people even when you live with them" and I think that is true; but, that is where feeling of love plays a big part.

Love is a wonderful thing; having the feeling allows us to think wonderful things about another person. And there is nothing wrong with that? We all create our own realities, it's what we do! Love makes us think that the other is beautiful, perfect and does things that are so cute!

Perhaps, we could consider love to be a coping mechanism! But, more than that; love is a wonderful warm feeling in your heart that skips a little beat when you see her. It allows you hang onto her every word because you want to learn all you can about her. You think her thoughts, wishes, hopes and dreams are the most important things in the world. Love makes you proud and want to be with her through anything life puts on her. You are there for her and would do just about anything for her. If she falls, fails, cries and hurts you are there to hold her, sympathize, understand and want to make it better. You have her best interest at heart! This to me is "loving"!

You know you are in love, when you think about her a lot. Maybe not so much at work, but when your mind has time to be free from the chores of the day, she is on it. And when you think of her it warms and makes you want to hold her close; and then the feelings become so strong, and you want to make love to her. You want to celebrate with love this wonderful human being.

Love is when she gets mad at you because you messed up or went against her wishes and lets you know it, but you still love her. You don't get mad back; you just understand her better, and love her more, because you do understand her better, now. Sometimes, it takes several mess up's to get the message, you don't really mean to keep messing up, it just happens.

You know it's love, when through all the moods changes and little disagreements and heated discussions, you still feel love for her. She becomes more precious to you because you see she is "real" and has feelings and opinions. And through it all you respect the soul, the very heart, of her and all she stands for. You respect what she goes through just coping and living life, on a daily basis.

Life is precious and love is a gift. To truly feel love for another is a priceless gift, because not everyone can allow themselves to be free enough and feel those feelings of love. I am so glad that I have that wonderful capacity to love like this! I wouldn't trade it for anything; it's celebrating the gift of life of one of God's creations. Because each and everyone one of us is unique and truly wonderful in their own way. No, love is not blind, it's looking into her soul and pulling out all the good in her and choosing to see it.

Love is also accepting she can't love you like you love her. Sometimes love means letting go and it hurts like hell! But, you're not going to hurt, if you didn't truly really love. After all that is said and none, I wouldn't trade the gift of loving for anything and with me the feeling just sticks for a long time. My therapist says: "There you go again loving from a distance." Hmm, maybe it 's safe place?

Odd, I don't every expect anyone to love me like this! Maybe I am a little weird and delusional. It's probably good that I am in therapy!
I don't only have love like that for "that special person". I pretty much just have fondness for all my friends.

All of this makes my therapist wonder why I don't speak to my family, and why I have no desire to see them? Me too! I'm so afraid they are going to come knocking on my door and demand intervention! I just want them to go away and leave me alone; just like I felt when I was a kid! I hate that damn catholic guilt thing. God, I wish it was January!