I know she means well; she called this morning early to wake me to run...I told her a couple days before I wouldn't run. She said it was warm and dry. If I would have gone it would have been with the usual group and not the special run...I guess she didn't know that.

I'm a mess! Everything is crashing down on me I feel. Well, I'm a little worried about an event that I'm planning or making the arrangements for... I feel people are bailing..or will bail.. What can I do? I'll ask for advice next week with the group gets together.

Why do I fall in love with people I cannot have? Why can't I have a warm, loving, wonderful relationship. I want to be in love! I want to be loved! But, I feel I mess everything up.

I don't know how to receive love. I don't know how to ask for what I need. Can I make someone love me? I know I can't "make" someone love me. I need help.

Life is quite amusing..



I'm having sex with her; but, I'm not in love with her and she is expecting more...I don't have more to give. One day soon, I won't have the warm body to hold close. I won't be touched. It will kill me...It will kill me.

I don't know what to do! How do I meet someone that is like me. I wish I could fall in love. In October I asked for sex.. I got it. I asked for sex because I already was in love with someone else....Oh she is much too young; she would be insane to even want me. But, it seems she and I are so much alike. I would do anything for her. I just wanted to be with her. But, can't have her......and that's life.

So, I got exactly what I asked for...sex. She wanted it too! It was just for sex...because to be casual non committing. We've seen each other ocassionally for four months. It doesn't seem that long... It's getting involved...unspokenly so..she expects more...and I can't give it. Just what kind of a creature am I?

I need her physically... but she is not for me. Help me! Universe! I need help! I don't want to hurt her. Please help me!

I need a magical event. I need a guardian angel to help me. I need the universe to help me. Please! I don't want to hurt her ...or anyone. I just need advise and help. I need the universe to find someone suitable..perfect for me. I want to be in love and she me....I'm a good person. I just need your help.