there is a slight sense of freedom..but I miss my dog. Walking with her was good exercise for her but towards the end she could hardly do steps and her bladder control was failing and the medications didn't help. The poor thing was in misery.
So, I'll go on missing her. I'm not quite ready for another dog. What if I'm disappointed? What if the new dog isn't as smart as she was?
Have you ever been to tried to get yourself ready to go to bed? I'm beat? It's been a tough week.
I never had a relationship with a woman that was very intense..well I was with men. But, I had best friends (women) and we did everything together; but, then she went out with men. She had a boyfriend and my heart ached.
Sometimes life is truly a mess. I so envy wonderful romantic relationships. I guess they can happen at any age.. I have no idea! I'm lost in the forest. I have no idea if I'm coming or going.
I only know that I want to move forward. I want a loving, warm, caring, very sexual relationship. Only once have I been in love and having sex with the same woman. It was truly magical, truly!
I wonder if it will ever happen again...in this life time I mean!
I'm stressing out here. No really I don't expect anything else. But, see that's my mistake I expect relationships to be "off" at best. I should expect wonderful, feminine, loving, sexy, caring, with luscious hair and body, love. Why not? It's my reality! It's my creation!
Maybe that is why each relationship sours? I expect it too!
Well, no longer. I am changing my expectations and intentions. It's in the air. It's coming! I know it is.
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