Our bike ride was a wash out! I'm glad the other three decided not to go. It's supposed to rain all day. A good reading, writing, and music playing and drawing day.
Damn, I could have slept in! I got to bed at 10, up at 12, then at 2AM this time till 3AM when I took a half of Valium. See, I always have insomnia the night before any kind of an event. It doesn't even have to be a competitive events. I'm a mess!
Along with eating something silly right before I went to bed...well, that doesn't work for me. Because it doesn't go down, but sticks in my gut and gurgles, make noises and makes me miserable.
I'm just a mess!
I just thought of something. Hot dog! I'll be home to watch "The View" when they try to explain while Rosie left early. I guess Elisabeth will be beaming....she won. I can no longer tolerate miss goodie two shoes. She's has had a big head ever since she came back from the dinner at the white house.
It's 6-1-07 at 2:00 AM. Guess what..good thing the participants, meaning my friends, called off the ride last Sunday. Well, it never did rain, but, I was out of it. Yeah, like a kitchen sink dish rag. I would have never been able to ride probably 30 plus miles. I only took a half of one....5 mg. I hate that stuff. Don't ask me why I had axieties over a dumb non-competitive bike ride. While this coming summer will be another mental test. But, I think I'm fine...and even if I can't sleep I won't take Valium. Makes me out of it feeling and a little light headed....it's not worth it.
Monday, May 28, 2007
Sunday, May 27, 2007
Hey, Door Slammer! Listen up!
Turn the knob and gently close the door behind you. Turning the knob is very important to maintain a more quiet exit!
I guess it's a male thing. I so prayed for a woman to move in below me. Women are just so much more considerate, gentler, and quieter. They make an effort to be quiet. They, think about the "other" person. I guess men can't think that far... or they are just mentally challenged because they are only using half of their brain.
Not all men, I know! Please stop reminding me. It's the ones with the most testosterone flowing in their brains. They are the destructive ones. The ones to be aware of. The ones who go flying by. The ones with just too much energy. The unpredictable ones. The downright scary ones.
Here is what Deepak Chopra has to say in his 2006 book entitled: "Power, Freedom, and Grace" living from the source of lasting happiness. Page 120 and I quote:
"In cosmic consciousness, we find that relationship is the most important thing in life; everything in life is a confluence of relationships. We begin to see that everything is balanced between feminine and masculine, the yin the yang, and anytime that there is more of one then the other, we are out of balance. Right now, we need to awaken the feminine because the dominance of masculine has led to belligerence, arrogance, and aggression, the very problems we see in the world right now."
I couldn't have said it better myself. The masculine energy in the world right now is stifling, suffocating the feelings of love out of the atmosphere. All this shooting, rage, hate, war, power struggles are contributing to the very demise of the planet. And for what? Oil, money and power. The Bush dynasty wants to rule the world or destroy it, is the way I see it.
They tell us lies, that Iraq is harboring Al Qaeda, to spread fear of terrorism. They use fear tactics to get to where the oil is so they can protect and control its sources and out puts.
If our government was so afraid of terrorist, who could easily slip through our southern borders, why not seal off the southern borders. No, because lobbyist (who voted republican in, Enron being the biggest contributor in 2000) want the cheap labor for the businesses they represent.
It makes you wonder doesn't it? National security has had nothing to do with the lack of another attack. It's just that another attack hasn't been necessary..we got into Iraq like we wanted. Cheney once said in about 2000 that we need another Pearl Harbor.
What? I'm beginning to sound like Rosie's spewing political accusations. Well Joy had her long list too of why the present administration needs to be ousted from office. But, it won't happen, because the Democrats are in it too deep with the Republicans. You think that is why the Democrats started complaining so early? A distraction, perhaps?
I guess it's a male thing. I so prayed for a woman to move in below me. Women are just so much more considerate, gentler, and quieter. They make an effort to be quiet. They, think about the "other" person. I guess men can't think that far... or they are just mentally challenged because they are only using half of their brain.
Not all men, I know! Please stop reminding me. It's the ones with the most testosterone flowing in their brains. They are the destructive ones. The ones to be aware of. The ones who go flying by. The ones with just too much energy. The unpredictable ones. The downright scary ones.
Here is what Deepak Chopra has to say in his 2006 book entitled: "Power, Freedom, and Grace" living from the source of lasting happiness. Page 120 and I quote:
"In cosmic consciousness, we find that relationship is the most important thing in life; everything in life is a confluence of relationships. We begin to see that everything is balanced between feminine and masculine, the yin the yang, and anytime that there is more of one then the other, we are out of balance. Right now, we need to awaken the feminine because the dominance of masculine has led to belligerence, arrogance, and aggression, the very problems we see in the world right now."
I couldn't have said it better myself. The masculine energy in the world right now is stifling, suffocating the feelings of love out of the atmosphere. All this shooting, rage, hate, war, power struggles are contributing to the very demise of the planet. And for what? Oil, money and power. The Bush dynasty wants to rule the world or destroy it, is the way I see it.
They tell us lies, that Iraq is harboring Al Qaeda, to spread fear of terrorism. They use fear tactics to get to where the oil is so they can protect and control its sources and out puts.
If our government was so afraid of terrorist, who could easily slip through our southern borders, why not seal off the southern borders. No, because lobbyist (who voted republican in, Enron being the biggest contributor in 2000) want the cheap labor for the businesses they represent.
It makes you wonder doesn't it? National security has had nothing to do with the lack of another attack. It's just that another attack hasn't been necessary..we got into Iraq like we wanted. Cheney once said in about 2000 that we need another Pearl Harbor.
What? I'm beginning to sound like Rosie's spewing political accusations. Well Joy had her long list too of why the present administration needs to be ousted from office. But, it won't happen, because the Democrats are in it too deep with the Republicans. You think that is why the Democrats started complaining so early? A distraction, perhaps?
"Power, Freedom and Grace"
Living from the source of lasting happiness. A great book by Deepak Chopra. I've just about finished it today. Just had to shift gears for a bit.
The book is right on. Our minds and souls are eternal and wide spread. Our bodies are ageless is only we didn't think so much about aging and getting older. He writes that a mental person who was out of touch with reality and time looked 30 at 60 just for that very reason. She was out of touch with time.
Our realities may blossom into past dreamed desired if we think them and then let them go. The universe will prevail and grant you your wish.
The best thing you can do for yourself is meditate and live in the moment. It is stress that makes us sick, old and lose interest in sex.
It is raining so nicely out doors right now. I love the rain. Just a steady, thirst quenching rain. I see the grass greening and growing...as watch and listen to the thunder roll overhead.
Okay, my break is over, I wish to finish this book. It's excellent. I ordered it used from Amazon.com. I'm reading a library book, but feel this is one to have on hand and run over and over again. It's a, to the point, quick read!
The book is right on. Our minds and souls are eternal and wide spread. Our bodies are ageless is only we didn't think so much about aging and getting older. He writes that a mental person who was out of touch with reality and time looked 30 at 60 just for that very reason. She was out of touch with time.
Our realities may blossom into past dreamed desired if we think them and then let them go. The universe will prevail and grant you your wish.
The best thing you can do for yourself is meditate and live in the moment. It is stress that makes us sick, old and lose interest in sex.
It is raining so nicely out doors right now. I love the rain. Just a steady, thirst quenching rain. I see the grass greening and growing...as watch and listen to the thunder roll overhead.
Okay, my break is over, I wish to finish this book. It's excellent. I ordered it used from Amazon.com. I'm reading a library book, but feel this is one to have on hand and run over and over again. It's a, to the point, quick read!
Common Sense: Nothing replaces it..
Just because you work in the medical field doesn't necessarily mean .....well, you know how it goes.
Back pain with shooting leg pain..a pitched nerve. Well, if something is irritating a nerve, like a pitched vertebrae or a chipped vertebrae you better get it fixed; which means usually laposcopic surgery of the least invasive kind.
Just don't put it off. The longer you put off the surgery the more irritated the nerve gets. I know you are fearful..but the procedure or less riskier today then you think. Besides, you have no choice! Just do the research and find a reputable experienced surgeon.
Next: See you dentist every six months. First of all, go to a "state of the art" dentist. We only have around 32 teeth in our mouths; some more some less. Do the research there too. I'm not sure about homeopathic dentistry. Get the real deal on this one, is my opinion. Why should you still have an infection three weeks after the obsessed tooth was pulled? Get a second opinion. I think my suggestion wasn't hear regarding this concern; however.
Prayer is next. Pray to whomever you pray to, just be grateful for all your gifts. Start simple with your breathing. Thank the universe for your breathing, muscles, slimness, conscious weight control and good health, your ability to talk, walk, smile pretty, your healthy teeth. Your safe, accident free existence, your intelligence, your love received, your home, your space, your time, your sun. Thank the universe for your youth and active skills. The universe embraces me, embraces you.
We are all connected at the molecular level and less. I think that's why souls keep returning to live many lives: for knowledge and for love, sex. What else could connect us more.
Yes, common sense, is priceless, magical, brilliant. Do we bring it with us form life time to the next. You bet! And sense of direction? Figure that one out. I've got it. Many don't.
Don't sweat the small stuff. And why are people so materialized? You can't take it with you. Besides I love living simply to simply live. It frees the mind. It frees the wallet. It free the soul. Souls only cares about intelligence and love. Love that connects us at our core being.
We are mere souls here in human form to love and connect and grow intellectually and with love, with one another.
Anyway, you must admit, its food for thought. Hey, I think I just learned a lesson. I don't trust my own soul evidently, because I believe I push love away or invite love that is out of reach. I know that I invite love that is out of reach. Like the good doctor. Like my married lover. Like another married woman, that I was interested in. So, subconsciously, I haven't learned love is safe, love is freeing, love is given and not hurtful. I'm afraid and go for the attached, unavailable love. They love me, but only from a distance....just like I set it up.
Back pain with shooting leg pain..a pitched nerve. Well, if something is irritating a nerve, like a pitched vertebrae or a chipped vertebrae you better get it fixed; which means usually laposcopic surgery of the least invasive kind.
Just don't put it off. The longer you put off the surgery the more irritated the nerve gets. I know you are fearful..but the procedure or less riskier today then you think. Besides, you have no choice! Just do the research and find a reputable experienced surgeon.
Next: See you dentist every six months. First of all, go to a "state of the art" dentist. We only have around 32 teeth in our mouths; some more some less. Do the research there too. I'm not sure about homeopathic dentistry. Get the real deal on this one, is my opinion. Why should you still have an infection three weeks after the obsessed tooth was pulled? Get a second opinion. I think my suggestion wasn't hear regarding this concern; however.
Prayer is next. Pray to whomever you pray to, just be grateful for all your gifts. Start simple with your breathing. Thank the universe for your breathing, muscles, slimness, conscious weight control and good health, your ability to talk, walk, smile pretty, your healthy teeth. Your safe, accident free existence, your intelligence, your love received, your home, your space, your time, your sun. Thank the universe for your youth and active skills. The universe embraces me, embraces you.
We are all connected at the molecular level and less. I think that's why souls keep returning to live many lives: for knowledge and for love, sex. What else could connect us more.
Yes, common sense, is priceless, magical, brilliant. Do we bring it with us form life time to the next. You bet! And sense of direction? Figure that one out. I've got it. Many don't.
Don't sweat the small stuff. And why are people so materialized? You can't take it with you. Besides I love living simply to simply live. It frees the mind. It frees the wallet. It free the soul. Souls only cares about intelligence and love. Love that connects us at our core being.
We are mere souls here in human form to love and connect and grow intellectually and with love, with one another.
Anyway, you must admit, its food for thought. Hey, I think I just learned a lesson. I don't trust my own soul evidently, because I believe I push love away or invite love that is out of reach. I know that I invite love that is out of reach. Like the good doctor. Like my married lover. Like another married woman, that I was interested in. So, subconsciously, I haven't learned love is safe, love is freeing, love is given and not hurtful. I'm afraid and go for the attached, unavailable love. They love me, but only from a distance....just like I set it up.
Saturday, May 26, 2007
A Nurturing Kind of Love
She's gives a nurturing kind of love...a love that I think I have never had before. She holds me and kisses the top of my head. It makes my heart ache with love.
I know she loves if she kisses my head out of affection. I never had that before. It's wonderful!
We exchange email. She tells me the more she gets to know me, the more she loves me. I know she loves me...she kisses the top of my head.
She makes love to my like I'm a rare and precious jewel. It's heavenly!
I cried when I read her email..she touches my heart. Yet we can only see each other rarely. It can never be anything more even if we would want it to be. It's a first time nurturing love.
She's happy with what we have and at times it's hard to know that. Even if I never want anything more..but what if I do. Right now I don't want full time. It still makes my heart ache. I want her to hold me.
It will be interesting to see where the universe takes this. Us! Whatever we have!
Is it possible to have it all in one package? laughter, shared fun times, sleeping together on a regular basis, enjoying the same friends and fun things to do, wonderful love making, love, kisses on the head..all in the same person?.
Is that possible? Yet, I'm still grateful for what I do have...it's wonderful! And for me? Who knows it could be perfect...
I know she loves if she kisses my head out of affection. I never had that before. It's wonderful!
We exchange email. She tells me the more she gets to know me, the more she loves me. I know she loves me...she kisses the top of my head.
She makes love to my like I'm a rare and precious jewel. It's heavenly!
I cried when I read her email..she touches my heart. Yet we can only see each other rarely. It can never be anything more even if we would want it to be. It's a first time nurturing love.
She's happy with what we have and at times it's hard to know that. Even if I never want anything more..but what if I do. Right now I don't want full time. It still makes my heart ache. I want her to hold me.
It will be interesting to see where the universe takes this. Us! Whatever we have!
Is it possible to have it all in one package? laughter, shared fun times, sleeping together on a regular basis, enjoying the same friends and fun things to do, wonderful love making, love, kisses on the head..all in the same person?.
Is that possible? Yet, I'm still grateful for what I do have...it's wonderful! And for me? Who knows it could be perfect...
Friday, May 25, 2007
Fabulous friends...
They are so precious and so in love! They make my heart sing! The one, her giggles..how I adore them; I just want to wrap my arms around her..so precious! So in love!
I love life! It's a holiday weekend...I began with maragritas with my cherished friends. In the morning.
Whew, I suddenly got sleepy. Well, I walked all over god's creation today.. I hope she loves her birthday gift card. I hope she fine something in the store she may like. I just don't know though. Universe, I'm calling upon your to make the moment speciala and magacial.
Last Saturday, a week ago already. Man times files. Well, last Saturday my two friends helped me buy a bike. The tech and sales gal was totally awesome. The next day I road it fabulously in the Strawberry ride. They were along. She has a bike like might.
Monday, my lover, in the evening golf. I had a great golf game....relaxation in the afternoon is key I guess!
Tuesday I got a brian storm to ride 100 miles on my new Trek Pilot 2.1 road bike with 700x25c tires and 50 cm is the size. I road to home down to the river...up along the river and then crossed it at the old bridge. Then over rough roack on the levee. I rode up to the SIUE and then around the paths there.
I need to sleep. I can't hold my eye open. Tomorrow afternoon - a birthday celebration. Hopefuly a free Saturday evening. Sunday morning early I'll ride with the women...hopefully the one I am interested in is not married.
Tuesday is FR and my sweet lover. Wednesday yoga, and here we go again.....need to sleep
I love life! It's a holiday weekend...I began with maragritas with my cherished friends. In the morning.
Whew, I suddenly got sleepy. Well, I walked all over god's creation today.. I hope she loves her birthday gift card. I hope she fine something in the store she may like. I just don't know though. Universe, I'm calling upon your to make the moment speciala and magacial.
Last Saturday, a week ago already. Man times files. Well, last Saturday my two friends helped me buy a bike. The tech and sales gal was totally awesome. The next day I road it fabulously in the Strawberry ride. They were along. She has a bike like might.
Monday, my lover, in the evening golf. I had a great golf game....relaxation in the afternoon is key I guess!
Tuesday I got a brian storm to ride 100 miles on my new Trek Pilot 2.1 road bike with 700x25c tires and 50 cm is the size. I road to home down to the river...up along the river and then crossed it at the old bridge. Then over rough roack on the levee. I rode up to the SIUE and then around the paths there.
I need to sleep. I can't hold my eye open. Tomorrow afternoon - a birthday celebration. Hopefuly a free Saturday evening. Sunday morning early I'll ride with the women...hopefully the one I am interested in is not married.
Tuesday is FR and my sweet lover. Wednesday yoga, and here we go again.....need to sleep
Thursday, May 24, 2007
so beautiful
Very lovely! She is very lovely..our model today. For three hours I tried to draw her justice. I'm getting better. I draw bodies pretty and I think my faces and protraits are improving. I can only hope. My goal is perfect protraits. She was so lovely....oh I said that already! Every Thursday I silently thank my friend for introducting me to this artist venue of live models. It's fabulous.
Ordinary People
Are you one of them? A dolt! My horoscope for today, Thursday:
May 24: "There is some likelihood that you've been a bit of a loner lately. It's as though you decided to look at things differently from the rest of the world, rejecting the individualistic viewpoint in favor of a more global one. Today, you may achieve a new phase in this process. You may attain some summit of consciousness from which you finally have the ability... to forgive! "
I don't know about the "forgive" part? Why? It's not my fault they're ignorant! Stupid is as stupid does. Why should I give them an excuse, a break? Get a life! Be responsible for yourself - for a change! Stop whining!
You know I rode 100 miles on my bicycle in 8:20 time on Tuesday. Yesterday, Wednesday, my knees did not hurt at all. But, at yoga last night some do-nothing-at-all-for-thyself person wants poses specific for "knees". So the all session consisted of knee over-kill. Silly? Yes! The instructor should not pay any attention to these people. Well, my knees hurt now! Thanks a lot!
How many times have I told these morons to take Glucosamine Chondroitin? Double up on it! I just had to and Ibuprofen! I just don't know about "ordinary people".
Ordinary people do not put an effort into anything physically good for their well being. They want a quick fix. And they love to group together and whine and complain. Misery loves company! I have no sympathy for "quick fix mentality" of these people. They want to sit on their asses and eat everything in sight and then they complain...the doctor told me I have diabetes and they feel so betrayed, so let down by god! Oh, give me a break..you did it to yourself! Most of the time, most illnesses and brought upon by neglect! Neglect in taking care of yourself. Oh, some people may have the subconscious propensity..the gene they say, is there. I wonder who put it there?
Besides the message is "preventative" not "quick fix". Don't let it happen in the first place! Get your large ass out there and do something good for yourself for a change. And stop whining!
So get out there and take a brisk walk, not a stroll like I see some many people do while they are talking on their cell phone. That's not good aerobic exercise. Breath! Work up a sweat! Stop feeling sorry for yourself!
So many people think they are lost; that they have no more choices left. This is not true. You can change your life in a second by changing the way you think.
Believe it or not - you are in control. And the way you are this second is the way you have allowed yourself to become. No body told you to sit on your butt all day long and evidently begin to feel sorry for yourself as you see healthy, active people walk, jog or run by. If they can do it - you can do it! You need to only change the way you think about yourself.
Why are there so many ordinary people - because it's easy? It's not easier to be lazy and sick. Because those two go together well. I should I say it this way: lazy then sick! So get your ass up, stop whining and do something....
Man, people just don't get the message! You are in control of your reality. You create your own reality! YOU! Get the message? Get the secret? You have the power built within if only you should choose to be conscious of it and bring it up to the surface and USE it!
May 24: "There is some likelihood that you've been a bit of a loner lately. It's as though you decided to look at things differently from the rest of the world, rejecting the individualistic viewpoint in favor of a more global one. Today, you may achieve a new phase in this process. You may attain some summit of consciousness from which you finally have the ability... to forgive! "
I don't know about the "forgive" part? Why? It's not my fault they're ignorant! Stupid is as stupid does. Why should I give them an excuse, a break? Get a life! Be responsible for yourself - for a change! Stop whining!
You know I rode 100 miles on my bicycle in 8:20 time on Tuesday. Yesterday, Wednesday, my knees did not hurt at all. But, at yoga last night some do-nothing-at-all-for-thyself person wants poses specific for "knees". So the all session consisted of knee over-kill. Silly? Yes! The instructor should not pay any attention to these people. Well, my knees hurt now! Thanks a lot!
How many times have I told these morons to take Glucosamine Chondroitin? Double up on it! I just had to and Ibuprofen! I just don't know about "ordinary people".
Ordinary people do not put an effort into anything physically good for their well being. They want a quick fix. And they love to group together and whine and complain. Misery loves company! I have no sympathy for "quick fix mentality" of these people. They want to sit on their asses and eat everything in sight and then they complain...the doctor told me I have diabetes and they feel so betrayed, so let down by god! Oh, give me a break..you did it to yourself! Most of the time, most illnesses and brought upon by neglect! Neglect in taking care of yourself. Oh, some people may have the subconscious propensity..the gene they say, is there. I wonder who put it there?
Besides the message is "preventative" not "quick fix". Don't let it happen in the first place! Get your large ass out there and do something good for yourself for a change. And stop whining!
So get out there and take a brisk walk, not a stroll like I see some many people do while they are talking on their cell phone. That's not good aerobic exercise. Breath! Work up a sweat! Stop feeling sorry for yourself!
So many people think they are lost; that they have no more choices left. This is not true. You can change your life in a second by changing the way you think.
Believe it or not - you are in control. And the way you are this second is the way you have allowed yourself to become. No body told you to sit on your butt all day long and evidently begin to feel sorry for yourself as you see healthy, active people walk, jog or run by. If they can do it - you can do it! You need to only change the way you think about yourself.
Why are there so many ordinary people - because it's easy? It's not easier to be lazy and sick. Because those two go together well. I should I say it this way: lazy then sick! So get your ass up, stop whining and do something....
Man, people just don't get the message! You are in control of your reality. You create your own reality! YOU! Get the message? Get the secret? You have the power built within if only you should choose to be conscious of it and bring it up to the surface and USE it!
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
by Suzanne Westenhoefer
Tinky Winky mourns ... maybe.
Dear friends,
This past Tuesday, I was greeted with the news of Fundamentalist Evangelical Trouble Making Minister Jerry Falwell's death. Now, I have been a Buddhist for a long time, but it is hard to feel any loss at the demise of a man who last year said that to vote for Hilary Clinton was the same as voting for Satan. Over the last nearly 30 years of his "moral majority" cult leadership, this was some of his least fiery rhetoric.Still, it's not good karma to be happy that someone has passed. I am not celebrating, but I am remembering. I'm remembering a man who blamed gays and feminists for the 911 attacks, a man who repeatedly compared homosexuality to bestiality and crack addiction. A quick Google of his name returns an unbelievable legacy of hatred toward women, gays, liberals, Catholics, Jews and African Americans. It's astonishing.When I started performing at Gay Pride events in 1991, I could get a crowd to yell, boo and hiss with the mere mention of his name. As we start Pride 2007, as we go to parties, rallies and parades, as many of us don't even participate any longer because we're "beyond gay," let us stop a moment and reflect on the passing of a man who, as much as he abhorred us, brought us together in a way few haters can do today.
So, goodbye Jerry. We will miss how your intolerance kept us in the news and helped make pride events the huge success they are.
Namaste,Suzanne
P.S. Vote for Hillary.
I could not have said the above better myself. She covers all points! And to think that he was supposedly a religious man! Cult is right!
I'm to the point where I despise religion, any religion. It's all for no tax profit anyway. I thought religion and state were to remain separated? Both groups are power hungry at every cost to you the tax payer. Just what has either group done for you lately? What return have you gotten?
I am spiritual first and would consider studying Buddhism. I'm all for meditating to a higher level and tapping into my inner powers. I know organized religion doesn't want me to know about the power that lie within. For, if I knew that the power lies within myself....why would I need them. The church as caused "hell" in my life not prevented me from it. And for this I am angry. It has also caused me to despise and mistrust most men. In my mind I have "outed" them long before I "outed" myself as a lesbian. Even as a kid, I thought their motives suspicious and surprised at people who willing to follow rather than "think" for themselves.
Organized religion is a joke and I loathe their hidden agenda of pure self profit, control and manipulation. First of all they write the rules themselves, tell you that you are bad..a sinner and will go to hell if they don't "fix" you first. For that they demand your money... a lot of it.
Evidently some people have caught on to their self-serving ways and have moved on leaving empty churches behind. In my area a polish church always stood alone not joining the local organization. When the arch bishop found out they had six million dollars in their kitty, he demanded they join the rest of the flock. They protested. He astracized them. They didn't care! But, in my mind that was the pivitial moment where the arch bishop showed his true colors. After forty years as a stand alone church he decided he wanted them in his flock.....for the money.
Dear friends,
This past Tuesday, I was greeted with the news of Fundamentalist Evangelical Trouble Making Minister Jerry Falwell's death. Now, I have been a Buddhist for a long time, but it is hard to feel any loss at the demise of a man who last year said that to vote for Hilary Clinton was the same as voting for Satan. Over the last nearly 30 years of his "moral majority" cult leadership, this was some of his least fiery rhetoric.Still, it's not good karma to be happy that someone has passed. I am not celebrating, but I am remembering. I'm remembering a man who blamed gays and feminists for the 911 attacks, a man who repeatedly compared homosexuality to bestiality and crack addiction. A quick Google of his name returns an unbelievable legacy of hatred toward women, gays, liberals, Catholics, Jews and African Americans. It's astonishing.When I started performing at Gay Pride events in 1991, I could get a crowd to yell, boo and hiss with the mere mention of his name. As we start Pride 2007, as we go to parties, rallies and parades, as many of us don't even participate any longer because we're "beyond gay," let us stop a moment and reflect on the passing of a man who, as much as he abhorred us, brought us together in a way few haters can do today.
So, goodbye Jerry. We will miss how your intolerance kept us in the news and helped make pride events the huge success they are.
Namaste,Suzanne
P.S. Vote for Hillary.
I could not have said the above better myself. She covers all points! And to think that he was supposedly a religious man! Cult is right!
I'm to the point where I despise religion, any religion. It's all for no tax profit anyway. I thought religion and state were to remain separated? Both groups are power hungry at every cost to you the tax payer. Just what has either group done for you lately? What return have you gotten?
I am spiritual first and would consider studying Buddhism. I'm all for meditating to a higher level and tapping into my inner powers. I know organized religion doesn't want me to know about the power that lie within. For, if I knew that the power lies within myself....why would I need them. The church as caused "hell" in my life not prevented me from it. And for this I am angry. It has also caused me to despise and mistrust most men. In my mind I have "outed" them long before I "outed" myself as a lesbian. Even as a kid, I thought their motives suspicious and surprised at people who willing to follow rather than "think" for themselves.
Organized religion is a joke and I loathe their hidden agenda of pure self profit, control and manipulation. First of all they write the rules themselves, tell you that you are bad..a sinner and will go to hell if they don't "fix" you first. For that they demand your money... a lot of it.
Evidently some people have caught on to their self-serving ways and have moved on leaving empty churches behind. In my area a polish church always stood alone not joining the local organization. When the arch bishop found out they had six million dollars in their kitty, he demanded they join the rest of the flock. They protested. He astracized them. They didn't care! But, in my mind that was the pivitial moment where the arch bishop showed his true colors. After forty years as a stand alone church he decided he wanted them in his flock.....for the money.
Sunday, May 20, 2007
"Buddha: A Story" by Deepak Chopra
Deepak Chopra..talks about a Buddha. Buddha never mentions a "god" only subconscious intelligence. Kindness and understanding. The book "Buddha: A Story" is written by Deepak Chopra. Maybe a possible movie one day.
Deepak Chopra is a medical doctor and a spiritual teacher. Dali Lama and Buddha are members of spiritual enlightment.
Deepak Chopra is a medical doctor and a spiritual teacher. Dali Lama and Buddha are members of spiritual enlightment.
Just Fine The Way It Is...
Frankly, I think our once a week meeting is fine just the way it is!
I can read between the lines and I agree. I would rather not have it any other way. What we have is good and I believe should remain the same.
Maybe she thinks I care more than what I do. I'm perfectly fine the way it is! If it ain't broke don't fix it. I think there for a moment we wanted more. I would be displayed as a friend.
I know where she is coming from and it's fine. I have my sights on another target and soon I'll see where it leads.
I think life is amazing and I love every moment of it. I love my unpredicted, unexplained adventures. I love the people that I meet. Maybe I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank the universe that life is indeed fluid.
I am most grateful for my blessings concerning good health, prosperity, talents, common sense and my wisdom. I believe in The Secret and that we have the power within us to exceed and be who we want to be and who we are. We create our own environments - I firmly believe that.
Now when I plan my day, I plan only in positive, magical moments. The power lies within each and every one of us and not as government and religion would have us believe.
I can read between the lines and I agree. I would rather not have it any other way. What we have is good and I believe should remain the same.
Maybe she thinks I care more than what I do. I'm perfectly fine the way it is! If it ain't broke don't fix it. I think there for a moment we wanted more. I would be displayed as a friend.
I know where she is coming from and it's fine. I have my sights on another target and soon I'll see where it leads.
I think life is amazing and I love every moment of it. I love my unpredicted, unexplained adventures. I love the people that I meet. Maybe I wouldn't have it any other way. Thank the universe that life is indeed fluid.
I am most grateful for my blessings concerning good health, prosperity, talents, common sense and my wisdom. I believe in The Secret and that we have the power within us to exceed and be who we want to be and who we are. We create our own environments - I firmly believe that.
Now when I plan my day, I plan only in positive, magical moments. The power lies within each and every one of us and not as government and religion would have us believe.
FDA doesn't care?
Red Alert! Don't eat the fish! The Southern States are taking matters into their own hands because the FDA..in unspoken words says "Eat at your own risk".
Imported fish from Communist China is not being inspected by the FDA as it enters this country so states are taking it upon themselves to test the fish and are finding it to be contaminated and in fact, deadly. The contaminated fish is causing cancer, liver, and kidney disease.
The FDA claims they are understaffed. Personally, I think we are so indebted to Communist China that they have us over a (war for oil debt) barrel. Communist China probably suggests strongly (cause we are so in debt to them) buy our fish and we have to because Communist China holds our trillion dollar debt. Do they hold our economy in their hands.
This country is importing more and more manufactured items and foods from Communist China. Items and foods that could be produced here in this country.
So lots of luck!
No wonder I don't have an appetite!
Oh people it's not only the food that is coming into this country diseased..it's the illegal aliens too. They are not tested for disease because they are slipping into this country undetected. Or let's face it, our government (both sides of the isle) does not care. In fact I believe that our government wants them here. Don't ask me why? But, does Mexico have us over a barrel too. We are in debt to Mexico .
Imported fish from Communist China is not being inspected by the FDA as it enters this country so states are taking it upon themselves to test the fish and are finding it to be contaminated and in fact, deadly. The contaminated fish is causing cancer, liver, and kidney disease.
The FDA claims they are understaffed. Personally, I think we are so indebted to Communist China that they have us over a (war for oil debt) barrel. Communist China probably suggests strongly (cause we are so in debt to them) buy our fish and we have to because Communist China holds our trillion dollar debt. Do they hold our economy in their hands.
This country is importing more and more manufactured items and foods from Communist China. Items and foods that could be produced here in this country.
So lots of luck!
No wonder I don't have an appetite!
Oh people it's not only the food that is coming into this country diseased..it's the illegal aliens too. They are not tested for disease because they are slipping into this country undetected. Or let's face it, our government (both sides of the isle) does not care. In fact I believe that our government wants them here. Don't ask me why? But, does Mexico have us over a barrel too. We are in debt to Mexico .
Sunny days, sliver moon and Venus?
Did you see that? A Sliver moon and is that the planet Venus? or Mars? Guy or Girl? And when will that take place again. Unbelievably beautiful! The night was crystal clear.
We stepped outside of a concert hall for the finale' oh so grand.
What an exciting weekend. Hope the ride goes well today. What am I do up so early. But pretty par for the course for me - to wait up after a couple of hours of sleep when there is an up and coming big event, or when I have had Accel Gel with caffeine and coke with caffeine.
To say nothing of buying a new bicycle after riding a too large of one for six years. And my new one is much lighter I think. Of course going from 54cm to 50cm would knock off some weight by clear reduction of size.
I took my vitamins while I was up and tried to look up some competitive information on a new friend but didn't find anything. I so like meeting new people.
My new bike is all ready to go and hopefully I have room in the car for everything plus a passenger and I know she'll fit. I just want to be able to keep my new bicycle inside the car until the newness wears off...which just may take awhile. I'll lock her's on the bike frame. She was okay with that. And it's off to the strawberry fields for us. The day promises to be picture picture...and just absolutely gorgeous. I should take my camera...
We stepped outside of a concert hall for the finale' oh so grand.
What an exciting weekend. Hope the ride goes well today. What am I do up so early. But pretty par for the course for me - to wait up after a couple of hours of sleep when there is an up and coming big event, or when I have had Accel Gel with caffeine and coke with caffeine.
To say nothing of buying a new bicycle after riding a too large of one for six years. And my new one is much lighter I think. Of course going from 54cm to 50cm would knock off some weight by clear reduction of size.
I took my vitamins while I was up and tried to look up some competitive information on a new friend but didn't find anything. I so like meeting new people.
My new bike is all ready to go and hopefully I have room in the car for everything plus a passenger and I know she'll fit. I just want to be able to keep my new bicycle inside the car until the newness wears off...which just may take awhile. I'll lock her's on the bike frame. She was okay with that. And it's off to the strawberry fields for us. The day promises to be picture picture...and just absolutely gorgeous. I should take my camera...
Friday, May 18, 2007
Vivid Dream
I hate that woman. I had a very vivid dream my mother rolling her car several times. I saw it land on her and thought...good that should have done it! GET THE PICTURE! Bunch of blockheads!
There you see...I need to be out of those people's lives. For good! So go away!
I can't stand you - never could.....
I never was sad or cried at my dad's funeral either. I thought that man was going to beat me to death with a sledge hammer the way he killed my dog. I wonder what other atrocities are buried in my subconscious that my mother ignored.
Go away!
There you see...I need to be out of those people's lives. For good! So go away!
I can't stand you - never could.....
I never was sad or cried at my dad's funeral either. I thought that man was going to beat me to death with a sledge hammer the way he killed my dog. I wonder what other atrocities are buried in my subconscious that my mother ignored.
Go away!
Forced off the road....
I'll get right to the point I am here to make today...if your right wheels drop off the pavement..Do not, I repeat - do not swing the stirring wheel to the left to try to get back on..Do Not.
Rather keep the right side wheels off the pavement and go straight down the shoulder till you slow down or come to a stop. Check your mirrors. Make sure you have enough room. And getting back on the pavement will take lots of room because you are starting from a dead stop and entering very fast moving traffic.
As soon as you are on the road way again. ..quickly get your speed up to match the traffic.
There you just avoided a potential very serious situation - two in fact. First of all. If through inattention or if you are forced off the road...stay off the road until you slow down to a stop. If you don't and try to swing back on right away (like my friend too - who has a broken neck) you will lose control and your car will most likely swing way over into the left lanes (she hit an on coming car - head on (how would you like to have been THAT person).
People, driving is not a game but very serious business with legal, life and death consequences. Yeah, tell your text messaging driver that .....
I see the most stupid things going on and most or brought about because people's brains must be all over the place. There are too many last minutes changes done out of reflex impulses. Big mistake.
Rather keep the right side wheels off the pavement and go straight down the shoulder till you slow down or come to a stop. Check your mirrors. Make sure you have enough room. And getting back on the pavement will take lots of room because you are starting from a dead stop and entering very fast moving traffic.
As soon as you are on the road way again. ..quickly get your speed up to match the traffic.
There you just avoided a potential very serious situation - two in fact. First of all. If through inattention or if you are forced off the road...stay off the road until you slow down to a stop. If you don't and try to swing back on right away (like my friend too - who has a broken neck) you will lose control and your car will most likely swing way over into the left lanes (she hit an on coming car - head on (how would you like to have been THAT person).
People, driving is not a game but very serious business with legal, life and death consequences. Yeah, tell your text messaging driver that .....
I see the most stupid things going on and most or brought about because people's brains must be all over the place. There are too many last minutes changes done out of reflex impulses. Big mistake.
Wednesday, May 16, 2007
I do have an abundance of energy today..
May 16 Horoscope: Today, you are unstoppable! You are a very hard worker by nature, and with the current planetary alignment you will be able to accomplish even more than usual. You have an abundance of energy, more than enough to handle everything that comes your way. Just be sure to use your usual good judgment. Radical decisions, especially concerning your personal life, could lead to regret...
I'm just jumping with enthusiasm. It's a beautiful day. I'm watching "The View" now and soon will visit some bicycle shops to try my butt on a few seats. I know I want a cyclocross. It's a road bike with good tread - basically. It's compact. 700x23c wheels. 48 spoke large crank..is big enough. At first I thought it wasn't. But, yesterday will pedaling like crazy to stay ahead of a storm front. I found that the smaller (not 52 like Trek 1000) crank was okay. Finally, I'll get a bike that fits me.. a 49cm. That stretch limo I'm riding, my Trek is a 54 cm. Too big.
I have put 6,000 miles on it however and have ridden several centuries. My friend says periodically we should get remeasured for bikes. The way I see it I am past due.
Shopping around is very fun. I plan on visiting at lease four to six places today, hopefully.
I miss M, can't wait to see her again when possible.
I'm just jumping with enthusiasm. It's a beautiful day. I'm watching "The View" now and soon will visit some bicycle shops to try my butt on a few seats. I know I want a cyclocross. It's a road bike with good tread - basically. It's compact. 700x23c wheels. 48 spoke large crank..is big enough. At first I thought it wasn't. But, yesterday will pedaling like crazy to stay ahead of a storm front. I found that the smaller (not 52 like Trek 1000) crank was okay. Finally, I'll get a bike that fits me.. a 49cm. That stretch limo I'm riding, my Trek is a 54 cm. Too big.
I have put 6,000 miles on it however and have ridden several centuries. My friend says periodically we should get remeasured for bikes. The way I see it I am past due.
Shopping around is very fun. I plan on visiting at lease four to six places today, hopefully.
I miss M, can't wait to see her again when possible.
Monday, May 14, 2007
I'll just say this...
We are falling in love..and I'm afraid. This can't go anywhere...she's married.
It's not like we are kids..we're pushing sixty. Are old habits hard to break? Lives staked upon lives...
I'm gingerly walking on this one. I may not want more than what it is...she's beginning to I think. Yes, we have moved our emotions up to a higher plane.
We're still in the closet for as I'm concerned. I'm hanging with my other friends..it's what she apparently wants. It is what it has to be. It's called freedom I think. I think we both like our lives the way they are...we'll just miss each other.
After all this time, we are still going through the motions. Why oh why, can't people be free to love who they love. What's with the forest of pretend theatrics?
Oh well, she wouldn't be happy here and I wouldn't be happy there...we'll just keep it as it is. Even though our time together goes by very fast...and then we miss each other...and look forward to the next time.
I am spiritual and believe in multiple life times. Actually, they probably run concurrently. But, I'm beginning to think..maybe I won't come back after I die for another go at another life. The men who are in power here on earth in government, business and religion are too evil and wanting to rip everyone off. I'm so tired of reading the fine print....and between the lines..it's no fun anymore.
Where are the kind hearts...the loving heart....in the gay and lesbian community perhaps? We are the ones who love one another and look out for one another.
Pollution, global warming, the shrinking middle class, the destroying of Roe vs Wade, oil mongers, war mongers for profit, greedy, gas guzzling American auto ("you'll buy what we tell you to buy" mentality) selfish evil people..are making me very tired.
It's not like we are kids..we're pushing sixty. Are old habits hard to break? Lives staked upon lives...
I'm gingerly walking on this one. I may not want more than what it is...she's beginning to I think. Yes, we have moved our emotions up to a higher plane.
We're still in the closet for as I'm concerned. I'm hanging with my other friends..it's what she apparently wants. It is what it has to be. It's called freedom I think. I think we both like our lives the way they are...we'll just miss each other.
After all this time, we are still going through the motions. Why oh why, can't people be free to love who they love. What's with the forest of pretend theatrics?
Oh well, she wouldn't be happy here and I wouldn't be happy there...we'll just keep it as it is. Even though our time together goes by very fast...and then we miss each other...and look forward to the next time.
I am spiritual and believe in multiple life times. Actually, they probably run concurrently. But, I'm beginning to think..maybe I won't come back after I die for another go at another life. The men who are in power here on earth in government, business and religion are too evil and wanting to rip everyone off. I'm so tired of reading the fine print....and between the lines..it's no fun anymore.
Where are the kind hearts...the loving heart....in the gay and lesbian community perhaps? We are the ones who love one another and look out for one another.
Pollution, global warming, the shrinking middle class, the destroying of Roe vs Wade, oil mongers, war mongers for profit, greedy, gas guzzling American auto ("you'll buy what we tell you to buy" mentality) selfish evil people..are making me very tired.
What Chrysler should do..
What is my suggestion? GO ELECTRIC! Ditch the out dated, extremely heavy old-fashion (like for who? 80 year old men? WWII vets are dying off! Chrysler - get with it! Be the first futuristic American car maker...I dare you!)
Ford and GM are too heavy into oil investment and they'll hang in there until the last drop of oil is drained from the Middle East. So, I guess we'll be at war with the Middle East until at least, 2020. Chrysler you won't have to worry about competition! Come on - take a chance and build a very well made and dependable electric car. What have you got to lose your life is terminal as it stands now. Not a hybrid - total electric. You'll make millions - everyone will flock to buy them.
So Chrysler for once in your life be proactive, provocative and state of the art. Build a dependable, with a long range battery (use the one Delco junk swapped out). Ignore the threats from the other American auto makers who stubbornly hang on to oil (just how much money do these white hairs need. They should be thinking about saving the planet.
Build it so people can plug it in their outlets at home or anywhere. Have a long lasting battery. Make the car nimble and quick like GM's EV1 was - that was so popular that GM crushed them all forcing people to burn oil so few could get rich.
Now, everyone will say. "Well, electric cars are not a good idea, because electrical power is made from burning coal. Don't go nuclear! Go damns and lakes. Well you might have to scratch that idea since pollution as the climate so screwed up and tremendous drought everywhere. Better yet, go with windmills or solar. It can be done.
Whatever you do forget hydrogen cell power. That's just Bush bullshit to put off dealing with reality of pollution he and his cronies have created since daddy Bush got into oil back in 1934.
Chrysler, again be the first; be brave. Take a stand and build a dependable, economical electric car. Make it stylist like the GM EV1. Come on - go for it!
Ford and GM are too heavy into oil investment and they'll hang in there until the last drop of oil is drained from the Middle East. So, I guess we'll be at war with the Middle East until at least, 2020. Chrysler you won't have to worry about competition! Come on - take a chance and build a very well made and dependable electric car. What have you got to lose your life is terminal as it stands now. Not a hybrid - total electric. You'll make millions - everyone will flock to buy them.
So Chrysler for once in your life be proactive, provocative and state of the art. Build a dependable, with a long range battery (use the one Delco junk swapped out). Ignore the threats from the other American auto makers who stubbornly hang on to oil (just how much money do these white hairs need. They should be thinking about saving the planet.
Build it so people can plug it in their outlets at home or anywhere. Have a long lasting battery. Make the car nimble and quick like GM's EV1 was - that was so popular that GM crushed them all forcing people to burn oil so few could get rich.
Now, everyone will say. "Well, electric cars are not a good idea, because electrical power is made from burning coal. Don't go nuclear! Go damns and lakes. Well you might have to scratch that idea since pollution as the climate so screwed up and tremendous drought everywhere. Better yet, go with windmills or solar. It can be done.
Whatever you do forget hydrogen cell power. That's just Bush bullshit to put off dealing with reality of pollution he and his cronies have created since daddy Bush got into oil back in 1934.
Chrysler, again be the first; be brave. Take a stand and build a dependable, economical electric car. Make it stylist like the GM EV1. Come on - go for it!
Saturday, May 12, 2007
My state representative held a
meeting today to explain where our property tax money goes. He tried to explain the "Levee" tax. He said they can readjust and redistribute the portions in a way to lower your taxes. So, appeal if you wish. Bascially he was giving us lip service.
A younger woman in the crowd got up with her pictures and tax charges of several houses in her more affluent neighborhood and stated that they all paid $17,000 while she and her husband had to pay $30,000 in property tax. Her husband personally spoke with the county assessors office and she said they laughed in his face and said nothing was going to change. The state presentative had nothing much to say.
What is so discouraging is the wide range of percentages of increase amounts through a single neighborhood. My property taxes went up about 19%. Others complained that their's were up anywhere from an increase of a 30% to an even moe outragious 75% increase. The state presentative said his increased by 75% too. I wondered? See how suspicous we have become. We no longer are trusting anyone in politics.
The meeting room was filled with noisy child-like elders who wouldn't stop moving about and talking long enough to listen to the state presentative. In time, although about half way through, some stood up and very clearly articulated their concerns. They knew and could explain for a fact that the Hancock Act which was to put a cap on property tax at 2% was misprepresented. The Homestead Act which was supposively intended to benefit the elderly was evidently mispresented too. Tempers flared and rightfully so, one elderly gentleman with a heavy Russian accent demanded change as he shook his fist in the air and said that the government is supposed to protect us. Sorry sir, even in America, that's a hoax.
The government at all levels sees tax paying citizens as money producing machines and wait desperately on the sidelines for more and more of your hard earned tax dollars to benefit them, not you. They can't wait to spend and probably pocket half of your tax returns that are intended to come back into the folds of the citizens in ways of social benefits.
The govenment is supposed to collect the money and redistribute it in the way of benefits for the tax paying citizens. But, it doesn't work that way. Personally, I believe they pocket a huge portion and businesess and the rich people get a larger portion it in the way of tax protections, windfalls, and tax breaks.
The woman sitting next to me kept fanning herself with an evelope. God, I wish these women would just get on hormones. I have the most even kyled thermostate on earth. Of course, I'm fit and at my proper weight. The constant fanning motion in my peripheral vision was getting on my nerves and drying my eyes. I asked my friend seated to my left, if she was hot and she was yes. I said would you liked to be fanned? At first my friend wouldn't switch places with me and then she. What a relief.
People get on my nerves sometimes when I'm tired or juiced up on sinus medicine. At yoga the other night, the instructor had be put my mat between two women of which I was ablivious too evidently, because I had to keep readjusting myself to perform the moves without bumping into them. They totally acted as if I was invisible reaching out and hitting my hands. On the floor I had to scoot every which direction in order to have space enough whileon my back and turn my knees out to the side and straighten my arms out.
I don't even bother to let it aggervate me anymore.. I don't have the energy. I just see that many people are sightless and without consideration for others. Some people are worse than others with having their stights set on their goals and unable to be willing to adjust or compensate for another. They just forge on through with eyes casted dead ahead.
A younger woman in the crowd got up with her pictures and tax charges of several houses in her more affluent neighborhood and stated that they all paid $17,000 while she and her husband had to pay $30,000 in property tax. Her husband personally spoke with the county assessors office and she said they laughed in his face and said nothing was going to change. The state presentative had nothing much to say.
What is so discouraging is the wide range of percentages of increase amounts through a single neighborhood. My property taxes went up about 19%. Others complained that their's were up anywhere from an increase of a 30% to an even moe outragious 75% increase. The state presentative said his increased by 75% too. I wondered? See how suspicous we have become. We no longer are trusting anyone in politics.
The meeting room was filled with noisy child-like elders who wouldn't stop moving about and talking long enough to listen to the state presentative. In time, although about half way through, some stood up and very clearly articulated their concerns. They knew and could explain for a fact that the Hancock Act which was to put a cap on property tax at 2% was misprepresented. The Homestead Act which was supposively intended to benefit the elderly was evidently mispresented too. Tempers flared and rightfully so, one elderly gentleman with a heavy Russian accent demanded change as he shook his fist in the air and said that the government is supposed to protect us. Sorry sir, even in America, that's a hoax.
The government at all levels sees tax paying citizens as money producing machines and wait desperately on the sidelines for more and more of your hard earned tax dollars to benefit them, not you. They can't wait to spend and probably pocket half of your tax returns that are intended to come back into the folds of the citizens in ways of social benefits.
The govenment is supposed to collect the money and redistribute it in the way of benefits for the tax paying citizens. But, it doesn't work that way. Personally, I believe they pocket a huge portion and businesess and the rich people get a larger portion it in the way of tax protections, windfalls, and tax breaks.
The woman sitting next to me kept fanning herself with an evelope. God, I wish these women would just get on hormones. I have the most even kyled thermostate on earth. Of course, I'm fit and at my proper weight. The constant fanning motion in my peripheral vision was getting on my nerves and drying my eyes. I asked my friend seated to my left, if she was hot and she was yes. I said would you liked to be fanned? At first my friend wouldn't switch places with me and then she. What a relief.
People get on my nerves sometimes when I'm tired or juiced up on sinus medicine. At yoga the other night, the instructor had be put my mat between two women of which I was ablivious too evidently, because I had to keep readjusting myself to perform the moves without bumping into them. They totally acted as if I was invisible reaching out and hitting my hands. On the floor I had to scoot every which direction in order to have space enough whileon my back and turn my knees out to the side and straighten my arms out.
I don't even bother to let it aggervate me anymore.. I don't have the energy. I just see that many people are sightless and without consideration for others. Some people are worse than others with having their stights set on their goals and unable to be willing to adjust or compensate for another. They just forge on through with eyes casted dead ahead.
Glad that's over...
The music bad and loud, annoying voices echoed under the tin roof; but time spent one on one with my sweet friend..priceless. The pole dancers she and I got to see were also priceless.
She emailed her partner who is out of town this weekend, a cell phone picture I took of the pole dancers - just for fun. Well, it's two women who do the pole together..pretty cool; nice strong, shapely bodies. The one recognized me and put her hand and cheek to my cheek....hmm. Very nice. She was sweet...I'm such a sucker for "sweet".
She and her dance partner travel all over the country doing their pole dancing....great way to stay in shape isn't it. The one I know has a partner who sings and plays guitar and travels all over too. I ususally see them at BBQ's and Thanksgiving dinners and they were telling us one time that by a lovely strange coincidence they had their gigs at the same local close to the same time. What really remarkable was when they returned for another gig, their pictures hung one on top of the other on the wall...just by coincidence.
Didn't you know that there is no such thing as coincidence? We get just what we ask for..so be careful of your thoughts.. and subconscious wishes.
Anyway, the first bar and it's redeeming qualities - the pole dancers. The second bar..which was supposed to be a lesbian bar...had tons of young men there. There were so many men there, it appeared the Young Christian Men's Convention was in town. I didn't stay long.. I really didn't need that last drink...shame on me.
I had fun at one point with my cell phone and another I friend's sun dress...nice top..and nice bottom I pretended to take pictures. You had to be there. Just goofing around. No there wasn't an actual picture taken by holding the camera under her skirt...again, just goofing around. We got a lot of laughs out of it..she and I. I did take one of her top and showed it too her.. I think she liked the picture too....
She emailed her partner who is out of town this weekend, a cell phone picture I took of the pole dancers - just for fun. Well, it's two women who do the pole together..pretty cool; nice strong, shapely bodies. The one recognized me and put her hand and cheek to my cheek....hmm. Very nice. She was sweet...I'm such a sucker for "sweet".
She and her dance partner travel all over the country doing their pole dancing....great way to stay in shape isn't it. The one I know has a partner who sings and plays guitar and travels all over too. I ususally see them at BBQ's and Thanksgiving dinners and they were telling us one time that by a lovely strange coincidence they had their gigs at the same local close to the same time. What really remarkable was when they returned for another gig, their pictures hung one on top of the other on the wall...just by coincidence.
Didn't you know that there is no such thing as coincidence? We get just what we ask for..so be careful of your thoughts.. and subconscious wishes.
Anyway, the first bar and it's redeeming qualities - the pole dancers. The second bar..which was supposed to be a lesbian bar...had tons of young men there. There were so many men there, it appeared the Young Christian Men's Convention was in town. I didn't stay long.. I really didn't need that last drink...shame on me.
I had fun at one point with my cell phone and another I friend's sun dress...nice top..and nice bottom I pretended to take pictures. You had to be there. Just goofing around. No there wasn't an actual picture taken by holding the camera under her skirt...again, just goofing around. We got a lot of laughs out of it..she and I. I did take one of her top and showed it too her.. I think she liked the picture too....
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Jane Fonda is "hot"!
Was Jane Fonda ever on the cover of AARP? I doubt it! Probably not because of that Hanoi Jane thing about in 1972. I guess they think because she protested against the Vietnam war is was anti-American. Like Bush says "Either your with us or against us."
For years after WWII the government had perfect devoted, obedient followers who believed what they were told.
Jane has regretted sitting on that gun in N. Vietnam and espousing communism. She has apologized many times over the years.
Quite frankly, I really like Jane Fonda. I think she is sexy at 69. She'll be 70 soon. I could only hope to look that good.
I think women who allow the lines to show are the sexist. Carry it well, be proud of who you are. Beauty comes from within no matter at what age. I think we all know that. I see beautiful woman at all ages.
I think lines are hints of the experience and wisdom that are accumulated over stages of our lives.
We are walking histories containers of personal experiences that have to be appreciated from first hand. I remember Hanoi Jane when it happened. I remember when Nixon finally ended the war in Vietnam after it went on for eleven years. Can you imagine the draft going on for eleven years.
No wonder she protested..it wasn't a voluntary service, it was mandatory. Many young guys moved, rather escaped to Canada fleeing a war they didn't believe it.
It was a war for profit just like this war in Iraq is. Vietnam was a real money maker for big businesses. I remember the Communism threat. I remember fall out shelters. I remember the Cuban missiles crisis when the general of Russia and America were both very welling to show their might and had their feathers all ruffled determined to go to war. Kennedy called it off. The generals were very angry at JFK. Maybe that's why he died. They wanted to go to Vietnam next. Kennedy was opposed to going to Vietnam. Goodbye JFK. War a nasty business and that is mainly the reason behind it..business and profits.
It's sad isn't it. And women are bitches who speak out so the men and the media and even woman chimed in and listened to their husbands..not wanting to appeared anti-feminine.
For years after WWII the government had perfect devoted, obedient followers who believed what they were told.
Jane has regretted sitting on that gun in N. Vietnam and espousing communism. She has apologized many times over the years.
Quite frankly, I really like Jane Fonda. I think she is sexy at 69. She'll be 70 soon. I could only hope to look that good.
I think women who allow the lines to show are the sexist. Carry it well, be proud of who you are. Beauty comes from within no matter at what age. I think we all know that. I see beautiful woman at all ages.
I think lines are hints of the experience and wisdom that are accumulated over stages of our lives.
We are walking histories containers of personal experiences that have to be appreciated from first hand. I remember Hanoi Jane when it happened. I remember when Nixon finally ended the war in Vietnam after it went on for eleven years. Can you imagine the draft going on for eleven years.
No wonder she protested..it wasn't a voluntary service, it was mandatory. Many young guys moved, rather escaped to Canada fleeing a war they didn't believe it.
It was a war for profit just like this war in Iraq is. Vietnam was a real money maker for big businesses. I remember the Communism threat. I remember fall out shelters. I remember the Cuban missiles crisis when the general of Russia and America were both very welling to show their might and had their feathers all ruffled determined to go to war. Kennedy called it off. The generals were very angry at JFK. Maybe that's why he died. They wanted to go to Vietnam next. Kennedy was opposed to going to Vietnam. Goodbye JFK. War a nasty business and that is mainly the reason behind it..business and profits.
It's sad isn't it. And women are bitches who speak out so the men and the media and even woman chimed in and listened to their husbands..not wanting to appeared anti-feminine.
Interesting horoscope..
Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)
May 10, 2007: It's not that you have to keep anything secret; it's just that you really don't need to show all of your desires. Your heightened intensity now may scare someone away, having an effect that's very different from your intention. As you struggle with the inevitability of what's happening in your life, you might discover that you have more power than you realize. Use it thoughtfully
A great day. First of all I had a fabulous day yesterday with someone very special. What we have is priceless, very special and probably indescribable so that I could rightfully construe the magic of it all. In other words, I don't expect anyone to understand, nor do I care, if they do or not. It's a matter of the soul, of the spirit, of the very heart. It's magical! Just two hearts coming together.
Today, I walked to the Artist Guild. I was a little disappointed by my performance. I just couldn't get her right or do her justice. She was very lovely! Very lovely! Be still my heart! I think I finally did her a little justice by the last 20 minutes sitting she did. God, I hope she makes it's okay. She told me she plans on driving straight through to Raleigh, N. C. after she got off work. She had a Red Bull and she was fighting sleep as she sat for us. I'm going to pray for her. No, I need to pray for her now because she will be on her way soon. Please, universe, have her be very alert and wide awake and make it safely. Please!
It was a fabulous day, I got home before the rain came to. Later, met up with friends. Last evening was yoga. That was a great work out. I'm firming up and slimming down.
Later...
May 10, 2007: It's not that you have to keep anything secret; it's just that you really don't need to show all of your desires. Your heightened intensity now may scare someone away, having an effect that's very different from your intention. As you struggle with the inevitability of what's happening in your life, you might discover that you have more power than you realize. Use it thoughtfully
A great day. First of all I had a fabulous day yesterday with someone very special. What we have is priceless, very special and probably indescribable so that I could rightfully construe the magic of it all. In other words, I don't expect anyone to understand, nor do I care, if they do or not. It's a matter of the soul, of the spirit, of the very heart. It's magical! Just two hearts coming together.
Today, I walked to the Artist Guild. I was a little disappointed by my performance. I just couldn't get her right or do her justice. She was very lovely! Very lovely! Be still my heart! I think I finally did her a little justice by the last 20 minutes sitting she did. God, I hope she makes it's okay. She told me she plans on driving straight through to Raleigh, N. C. after she got off work. She had a Red Bull and she was fighting sleep as she sat for us. I'm going to pray for her. No, I need to pray for her now because she will be on her way soon. Please, universe, have her be very alert and wide awake and make it safely. Please!
It was a fabulous day, I got home before the rain came to. Later, met up with friends. Last evening was yoga. That was a great work out. I'm firming up and slimming down.
Later...
Wednesday, May 09, 2007
Yoga this evening..
I've been taking it easy since I blistered my butt on that god awful bike ride last Sunday. Duh! Finally put a protective band aid on the open blister. It's located at the fold where butt meets leg...nice place. The injury is from pedaling. When leg moves up and down that place rubbed against the side of the seat. I hate that clunker bike.
I want to heal so I can run and swim. Yoga tonight should be fine. Tomorrow is art.. I'll probably walk there with supplies in my pack.
I had a great afternoon...she so warm and loving. So loving that I miss her immediately.
I hope yoga eases my mind. It will going out tomorrow evening seeing friends and Friday evening bar hoping - I'll be fine!
I want a lover - like no other......
I want to heal so I can run and swim. Yoga tonight should be fine. Tomorrow is art.. I'll probably walk there with supplies in my pack.
I had a great afternoon...she so warm and loving. So loving that I miss her immediately.
I hope yoga eases my mind. It will going out tomorrow evening seeing friends and Friday evening bar hoping - I'll be fine!
I want a lover - like no other......
Tuesday, May 08, 2007
ex
I was with my ex this evening and honestly she has it all over me when it comes to being thoughtful and helpful around injured or sick people.
She has a rather powerful personally and just what to say when. She reminds me of her dad. Sometimes I'm in awe.
I can; however, carry my weight in conversation and doing good when I'm alone. It's as if they towers over me. Sometimes she volunteers my services before priorty consultation with me. Mistake! Lately she's better.
I feel I need to take care of myself right now.... and I am.
I can't keep my eyes open.. good night!
She has a rather powerful personally and just what to say when. She reminds me of her dad. Sometimes I'm in awe.
I can; however, carry my weight in conversation and doing good when I'm alone. It's as if they towers over me. Sometimes she volunteers my services before priorty consultation with me. Mistake! Lately she's better.
I feel I need to take care of myself right now.... and I am.
I can't keep my eyes open.. good night!
Strange tasting bread..
This guy from the Northeast called into NPR and said that he has always bought bread from his local P&C, where they bake it.
Recently he noticed that the bread had a strange favor, like wood or plastic. He thinks they used the Wheat Gluton (flour) made with the that stuff they were putting in cat and dog food.
When they realized it was possibly killing cats and dogs...they fed it to cattle claiming that due to the weight differences it wouldn't matter.
Recently he noticed that the bread had a strange favor, like wood or plastic. He thinks they used the Wheat Gluton (flour) made with the that stuff they were putting in cat and dog food.
When they realized it was possibly killing cats and dogs...they fed it to cattle claiming that due to the weight differences it wouldn't matter.
I'm thankful!
Well, I just wanted to let god and the universe know that I am very grateful for all of my gifts and blessing and loves, and many friends. I'm also thankful for my pain free days, miss of injuries, safety, security, blessings, health, beauty, youthfulness, my youthful thinking, and knowing the secret.
The secret? that the power lies within each and every one of us. We control our realities with our thoughts and desires...sometimes subconscious.
Our subconscious stays with us from one life time to another..it the "I just know it" knowledge we bring with us. Our common sense and our intuition.
I wish to thank god and the universe for all of it. I appreciate my talents, abilities, good health, common sense, clear thoughts, alertness,
I'm very blessed and I know it. I wanted to meditate today but didn't get that in. I had a wonderful day spent with many friends. Life is sweet!
And I'll see her tomorrow hopefully. I am so ready..it seems like forever..
Life is good, life is great, life is fabulous. Thank you god and thank you universe.
Now, I'm losing pounds as I speak and I won't quit losing pounds of fat until I lose seven pounds.
That's for my ability to run, breath, bike, walk, talk, think, slap my ass and drink margaritas with my wonderful fun losing friends. Life is good! And I'm looking forward to partying Friday evening. Margaritaville here I come!
But, first, running, swimming and yoga! Tomorrow evening - yoga. I love it!
The secret? that the power lies within each and every one of us. We control our realities with our thoughts and desires...sometimes subconscious.
Our subconscious stays with us from one life time to another..it the "I just know it" knowledge we bring with us. Our common sense and our intuition.
I wish to thank god and the universe for all of it. I appreciate my talents, abilities, good health, common sense, clear thoughts, alertness,
I'm very blessed and I know it. I wanted to meditate today but didn't get that in. I had a wonderful day spent with many friends. Life is sweet!
And I'll see her tomorrow hopefully. I am so ready..it seems like forever..
Life is good, life is great, life is fabulous. Thank you god and thank you universe.
Now, I'm losing pounds as I speak and I won't quit losing pounds of fat until I lose seven pounds.
That's for my ability to run, breath, bike, walk, talk, think, slap my ass and drink margaritas with my wonderful fun losing friends. Life is good! And I'm looking forward to partying Friday evening. Margaritaville here I come!
But, first, running, swimming and yoga! Tomorrow evening - yoga. I love it!
Happy Birthday 05SL
I was just thinking about my 2005 summer love and in spirit, wishing her a happy birthday. I hope all is going well with her today.
It was a great summer, that summer of 2005. Actually a fabulous summer. One I'll never forget. She helped me in so many ways. We did many fun things together. Also, I moved and she helped me with that and put together furniture as I mostly watched. Man was she fast. I had a great time. She has no idea what a wonderful gift she was to me. Actually, I was reborn and now two years later I'm better than ever. She came me a good start in to new life journey
Life is magical! I truly believe that now! She came into my life just when I needed someone so badly. Our time was well spent together....gloriously! I could never repay her..
My life was in transition at the time. I had just left a long term relationship. I believe that the universe gives us what we want and need if we ask; and of course, always be thankful for our many, precious gifts that we have.
So, I wish her well. I hope everything in her life is magical and fulfilling. I'll probably see her in passing towards the end of June at the big annual parade and event in the park. I'll just wave!
Happy Birthday.. have a great day!
It was a great summer, that summer of 2005. Actually a fabulous summer. One I'll never forget. She helped me in so many ways. We did many fun things together. Also, I moved and she helped me with that and put together furniture as I mostly watched. Man was she fast. I had a great time. She has no idea what a wonderful gift she was to me. Actually, I was reborn and now two years later I'm better than ever. She came me a good start in to new life journey
Life is magical! I truly believe that now! She came into my life just when I needed someone so badly. Our time was well spent together....gloriously! I could never repay her..
My life was in transition at the time. I had just left a long term relationship. I believe that the universe gives us what we want and need if we ask; and of course, always be thankful for our many, precious gifts that we have.
So, I wish her well. I hope everything in her life is magical and fulfilling. I'll probably see her in passing towards the end of June at the big annual parade and event in the park. I'll just wave!
Happy Birthday.. have a great day!
Monday, May 07, 2007
You gotta love it...
"Dick Cheney is headed to Saudi Arabia to meet with it's leader, but he's nervous. Of course he is says Jan Leno, he's getting ready to meet 'the boss'". I love it!
Other hot topics: I'm in pain. Well, I rode that clunker this weekend, both days. Yes, 65 miles on Saturday and 65 miles again on Sunday. My quads are tight! But, I have rug burns between my upper thigh and cheek. Ouch! Just on the one side. Well, pedaling for a total of 12 hours is enough to rub the hell out of things. I hate that bike. I hope this heals okay and doesn't get infected. It's in a vulnerable area. But I am being careful. I've been spraying Bactine on it. And now it's drying....so when I get up and down...ouch!
I rode on the Katy Trail. It's all fine rock. Well, I did it because I was invited to ride along with someone in August from the city to wine country.
Well, that trail is going to be underwater soon. So who knows what kind of shape it will be in by August. The whole route will be under water in a couple of days.
Anyway, I can't ride that thing. And probably my rode bike won't be fitting if there is lots of debris about. I'll miss being with her but..
I can't commit. Some time I'm filled with anxiety as soon as I commit to something. I don't want to disappoint. I feel everything is weighting on it. I'm too iffy about what could be or not be. Like it might just be 100 degrees. So, it would be very hot riding in the bug infested woods with a burning ass. So, my intuition would not allow me to commit. I hope she understands.
I'll miss her. I wouldn't be able to keep up with her anyway. Maybe she can come by when she gets back. She was planning on going anyway. The woman goes none stop. And could probably lay on sharp rocks and sleep. Me! I'm a very light sleeper. Very hyper vigilant..to a fault.
I wish I were anxiety free and fearless. But, I have found that the supplement S.A.M.E is not only good for muscle and connective tissue, but live and puts you in a good mood. It even states that on the box. I have found that it does take the ledge off of my crazy emotions. I stop worrying about what others may think. I stop worrying about trying to please. Left over emotions from my childhood.
I think I tried very hard to please...to be loved. Yes, conditional love...no leave off the love....just conditional. You would have thought she was the queen of England..she still thinks she is. I don't see her anymore and I'm glad. I don't every want to see her again. Good riddance. I've taken enough abuse. I've been used enough. According to her that was my purpose. She complained heavily if she had to do something for me if there was nothing in it for her. So she made sure everything had a pay off for her in involved.
Anyway, I just alleviate the source of the anxiety.
Other hot topics: I'm in pain. Well, I rode that clunker this weekend, both days. Yes, 65 miles on Saturday and 65 miles again on Sunday. My quads are tight! But, I have rug burns between my upper thigh and cheek. Ouch! Just on the one side. Well, pedaling for a total of 12 hours is enough to rub the hell out of things. I hate that bike. I hope this heals okay and doesn't get infected. It's in a vulnerable area. But I am being careful. I've been spraying Bactine on it. And now it's drying....so when I get up and down...ouch!
I rode on the Katy Trail. It's all fine rock. Well, I did it because I was invited to ride along with someone in August from the city to wine country.
Well, that trail is going to be underwater soon. So who knows what kind of shape it will be in by August. The whole route will be under water in a couple of days.
Anyway, I can't ride that thing. And probably my rode bike won't be fitting if there is lots of debris about. I'll miss being with her but..
I can't commit. Some time I'm filled with anxiety as soon as I commit to something. I don't want to disappoint. I feel everything is weighting on it. I'm too iffy about what could be or not be. Like it might just be 100 degrees. So, it would be very hot riding in the bug infested woods with a burning ass. So, my intuition would not allow me to commit. I hope she understands.
I'll miss her. I wouldn't be able to keep up with her anyway. Maybe she can come by when she gets back. She was planning on going anyway. The woman goes none stop. And could probably lay on sharp rocks and sleep. Me! I'm a very light sleeper. Very hyper vigilant..to a fault.
I wish I were anxiety free and fearless. But, I have found that the supplement S.A.M.E is not only good for muscle and connective tissue, but live and puts you in a good mood. It even states that on the box. I have found that it does take the ledge off of my crazy emotions. I stop worrying about what others may think. I stop worrying about trying to please. Left over emotions from my childhood.
I think I tried very hard to please...to be loved. Yes, conditional love...no leave off the love....just conditional. You would have thought she was the queen of England..she still thinks she is. I don't see her anymore and I'm glad. I don't every want to see her again. Good riddance. I've taken enough abuse. I've been used enough. According to her that was my purpose. She complained heavily if she had to do something for me if there was nothing in it for her. So she made sure everything had a pay off for her in involved.
Anyway, I just alleviate the source of the anxiety.
Is it just me.....
Or are most people past forty just old and crabby and dying. Come on get a life! The leader, mind you, and members of the local lesbian social group, or whining that the music is too loud and they can't talk.
They don't like the straight people coming into the bars...looking for a "third" partner. Oh please! Don't flatter yourself. They're there to dance and have fun!
Personally, "I love the night life. I love to boogie!" I love it! Even my younger friends who are in relationships don't like to go.
It's an escape for me, to let my hair down and enjoy the music. I love Beyonce, Timberlake, the Black Eyed Peas. I love "Sexy Back" and "The lump" and "SOS" and "Stupid Girl".
Old is not an age! Old is a state of mind. In fact everything from health to love is a state of mind. We control our own destinies in time.
I won't let these people depress me. I can't help them. They are lost in their own self-created misery. It's awful. It's a moan and groan group as far as I'm concerned. What a pity.
I can't only stand to read the "home for aged" emails.
Life is a amazing.
They don't like the straight people coming into the bars...looking for a "third" partner. Oh please! Don't flatter yourself. They're there to dance and have fun!
Personally, "I love the night life. I love to boogie!" I love it! Even my younger friends who are in relationships don't like to go.
It's an escape for me, to let my hair down and enjoy the music. I love Beyonce, Timberlake, the Black Eyed Peas. I love "Sexy Back" and "The lump" and "SOS" and "Stupid Girl".
Old is not an age! Old is a state of mind. In fact everything from health to love is a state of mind. We control our own destinies in time.
I won't let these people depress me. I can't help them. They are lost in their own self-created misery. It's awful. It's a moan and groan group as far as I'm concerned. What a pity.
I can't only stand to read the "home for aged" emails.
Life is a amazing.
The Republican party has hijacked morality. For the 2008 Republican party candidates we have a group of mature, white-hair men espousing Evangelical Christian religion, war on Iran (yes, Iran is next..keep the war machine profiteering alive..) anti-pro choice (if they have their way they will have the Supreme Court reverse Roe vs Wade).
These Republicans say nothing about getting better health care in this country. Nor do they address the illegal immigrant situation that is perpetuating in this country and it blatantly being over-looked by this administration.
All of the candidates ride the fence regarding any issues, not wanting to rub anyone group or idealism the wrong way.
The Republican party is the "money" party each paying their own way and we all know money talks and gets elected. They all say that they do not take contributions from lobbyist. So, do the lobbyist contribute money to the party just across the board? There are 33,000 lobbyist in Washington D. C. on any given day. They are there to speak and give to politicians that will support their causes. Money speaks.
Personally, I wonder just what gripe do Republicans have about women and their bodies. Why do they want to control women's choices concerning their own bodies and consciousness. Frankly, it's done of their business what a woman does with their bodies.
I am so afraid that if Roe vs Wade goes away, coat hangar and back alley abortions will kill so many women. Doctors will be arrested. And the back alley doctors - are they really doctors or fakes just taking a poor desperate woman's money. I'm poor, but I just may have to contribute to NARAL Pro-Choice America. Yes, it's all about control and the diversion from the real issues that these Republican candidates should be confronting. Just wait they'll get to the homosexuals next and use them as diversions like they did in the last couple of elections.
Evangelical Christan's will offer to "fix" homosexuality by teaching them they do not have to act out their sexuality. This is just wrong! So, wrong. I hope to god any gay or lesbian never listens to this crap. Be yourself! Just promise me whoever you are....just be yourself and love each other. Be who you are! The hell with religious teachings. It's just a money maker for them anyway. They make up their impossible rules to keep, so you break them, and then they have to fix you. It's all a scam..all religions are scams. Being spiritual, is all that you need to be...it's free. It's an innate consciousiness. We all know what it takes to be a good person and that is integrity, honesty, non-judgmental, non-racist, celebrating our differences, ethical, and loving thy neighbor . Yes, in other words just don't be a priest or an elected offical.
So, according to The Secret, like attracts like so send out love and get love in return.
These Republicans say nothing about getting better health care in this country. Nor do they address the illegal immigrant situation that is perpetuating in this country and it blatantly being over-looked by this administration.
All of the candidates ride the fence regarding any issues, not wanting to rub anyone group or idealism the wrong way.
The Republican party is the "money" party each paying their own way and we all know money talks and gets elected. They all say that they do not take contributions from lobbyist. So, do the lobbyist contribute money to the party just across the board? There are 33,000 lobbyist in Washington D. C. on any given day. They are there to speak and give to politicians that will support their causes. Money speaks.
Personally, I wonder just what gripe do Republicans have about women and their bodies. Why do they want to control women's choices concerning their own bodies and consciousness. Frankly, it's done of their business what a woman does with their bodies.
I am so afraid that if Roe vs Wade goes away, coat hangar and back alley abortions will kill so many women. Doctors will be arrested. And the back alley doctors - are they really doctors or fakes just taking a poor desperate woman's money. I'm poor, but I just may have to contribute to NARAL Pro-Choice America. Yes, it's all about control and the diversion from the real issues that these Republican candidates should be confronting. Just wait they'll get to the homosexuals next and use them as diversions like they did in the last couple of elections.
Evangelical Christan's will offer to "fix" homosexuality by teaching them they do not have to act out their sexuality. This is just wrong! So, wrong. I hope to god any gay or lesbian never listens to this crap. Be yourself! Just promise me whoever you are....just be yourself and love each other. Be who you are! The hell with religious teachings. It's just a money maker for them anyway. They make up their impossible rules to keep, so you break them, and then they have to fix you. It's all a scam..all religions are scams. Being spiritual, is all that you need to be...it's free. It's an innate consciousiness. We all know what it takes to be a good person and that is integrity, honesty, non-judgmental, non-racist, celebrating our differences, ethical, and loving thy neighbor . Yes, in other words just don't be a priest or an elected offical.
So, according to The Secret, like attracts like so send out love and get love in return.
Sunday, May 06, 2007
It's gonna burn...
I'm getting rid of the clunker! It bite my butt today. Ouch!
It's time to update and unload the thing. But, anyway, I rode 65 miles yesterday and 65 miles today and my ass is aching. Actually, I'm fine sitting on a normal chair.
Personally, I don't think that there is a comfortable hybrid seat because you are sitting up right and moving your legs up and down. It's like two sticks and a flint rubbing together. No wonder my ass is on fire.
Yesterday I rode quit a lot on very fine rocks, some call chat. There was lots of drag on the way back heading into the wind.
Maybe I'll sell both the hybrid and the old road bike and get a nice new road bike. Maybe I'd rather have an aching neck and shoulders (Ibuprofen helps that!) rather than a slow dragging ass. The bike is just too slow.
Yesterday and today each riding 65 miles took me right under six hours on the hybrid. On my road bike I can do 100 miles under eight hours. And my ass didn't hurt but just a little bit. Because on a road bike your weight is more evening distributed and you are more balanced.
Now, sitting her, I'm about to fall asleep. Oh, I forgot I was up at about 4:30 AM.
Now that it is all over with..and I survived. I was going to say, that it wasn't that bad..but it was.
Time to take a shower....then nap.
I'm doing better I'm not eating like a pig when I ride. But, I just ate part of a hamburger. I needed that.
Later..
It's time to update and unload the thing. But, anyway, I rode 65 miles yesterday and 65 miles today and my ass is aching. Actually, I'm fine sitting on a normal chair.
Personally, I don't think that there is a comfortable hybrid seat because you are sitting up right and moving your legs up and down. It's like two sticks and a flint rubbing together. No wonder my ass is on fire.
Yesterday I rode quit a lot on very fine rocks, some call chat. There was lots of drag on the way back heading into the wind.
Maybe I'll sell both the hybrid and the old road bike and get a nice new road bike. Maybe I'd rather have an aching neck and shoulders (Ibuprofen helps that!) rather than a slow dragging ass. The bike is just too slow.
Yesterday and today each riding 65 miles took me right under six hours on the hybrid. On my road bike I can do 100 miles under eight hours. And my ass didn't hurt but just a little bit. Because on a road bike your weight is more evening distributed and you are more balanced.
Now, sitting her, I'm about to fall asleep. Oh, I forgot I was up at about 4:30 AM.
Now that it is all over with..and I survived. I was going to say, that it wasn't that bad..but it was.
Time to take a shower....then nap.
I'm doing better I'm not eating like a pig when I ride. But, I just ate part of a hamburger. I needed that.
Later..
Saturday, May 05, 2007
What a Drag!
I call it the clunker. It's like dragging a ball and chain. It has 26 inch wheels compared to my 27 inch wheel road bike which glides along as I pedal my merry way.
I rode 65 miles with the clunker today! I'm bushed! Tomorrow I'll do it again. Why? Because I want to register for a 65 ride to a little wine town, have fun, then ride 65 back the next day.
I've never ridden 65 miles back to back. The ride will be on very finely rocked old railroad trails. Called the Katy Trail.
The section of trail I rode today was in excellent condition for a finely rocked path. Even with the heavy rains the last few days the trail was in excellent condition. That fine chat gets like concrete after a while. I could have easily rode my road bike.
The ride I am gearing up to is in August. My friend wants me to join her and I'm thrilled. She is taking her hybrid. So I"m taking mine by her suggestion. It's probably best. There will be many people on the trail and conversation will be easier. There will be break points in fifteen miles intervals along the ride on the way out and the next day on the way back.
She and I will share a tent. I don't plan on getting any sleep and that is why I rode today with about two hours, or three of sleep. I didn't plan it that way it just happened I took day time sinus medicine to close to the evening hours.
Anyway, I did fine except I'm beat. It seems like it took forever to ride a mile with that thing. Those little wheels make me have to pedal that much more and I have to be in an easier gear because of the drag. My quads got a workout today. Gee I hope they are cool cut bulging as I walk in my riding pants. Trust me, they feel like they should be..
Tomorrow I'll try to start out a bit earlier to avoid the wind that usually occurs by early afternoon. This morning I planned on starting early but I pulled my car over to talk on the phone just as I left my condo. I was on the phone for probably fifty minutes. So I got a later start. She's adorable and a sweet friend in job turmoil right now.. so I wanted to be there for
her.
Then came the magical moment of the day! Her partner asked. "What is your advice on......"
Can I really recall anyone actually asking for my advice. I didn't think much of it then but after I got off the phone my buttons were popping (well, if I had buttons on my bicycle jersey). It's just a wonderful feeling to have someone value your opinion. Last weekend I helped her with an ad she wanted to place. I bet we spent close to an hour comparing layouts and lines of information and expressing how each caught our attention or made us feel. It was fun! What a magical time. You these two friends are about thirty years younger than myself and it's just fun to share some life taught wisdom and experience with them only when asked. Very important. Besides, are you kidding me, I learn more from them in so many way. I love it. It's really not an age thing.. I think we three just kind of click! Very magical! Our moments together are very magical!
Life is grand. I love where I live. I love having my windows open (I'm above the first floor) and hearing the people and dogs walk below and walk and laugh. I'm in the trees with the birds and I love their songs. At night I heard the tree frogs. Oh how delightful.
I'm so not ready for closed up air conditioning. So, I'll hold off as long as possible. I'm not like a lot of people who think once they turn the air conditioning on they leave it on. Every on has their on thoughts and plans about doing things. Some people think the air conditioning is like the furnace and only runs when it around to desired temperature. But, I have heard air conditioning running in fifty degree temperatures. Why? Because they run to pull the moisture out of the house. Anyway, that's my experience on the subject.
Time to close I want to play my guitar, draw, and read before going to bed. See, I'm waking up. Earlier I was falling asleep as I was drawing a picture so I went and laid down on the bed. Hello! Then I was wide awake! What is it with me and not being able to sleep in the horizontal position? I won't be able to sleep in the tent either. It's okay I have already factored that in..I'll get a little sleep. And I'll order a tail wind for the way home. Oh hell, both ways! Let's see if "The Secret" can pull that one off!" Universe, are you listening? Be with me...make it magical!
I rode 65 miles with the clunker today! I'm bushed! Tomorrow I'll do it again. Why? Because I want to register for a 65 ride to a little wine town, have fun, then ride 65 back the next day.
I've never ridden 65 miles back to back. The ride will be on very finely rocked old railroad trails. Called the Katy Trail.
The section of trail I rode today was in excellent condition for a finely rocked path. Even with the heavy rains the last few days the trail was in excellent condition. That fine chat gets like concrete after a while. I could have easily rode my road bike.
The ride I am gearing up to is in August. My friend wants me to join her and I'm thrilled. She is taking her hybrid. So I"m taking mine by her suggestion. It's probably best. There will be many people on the trail and conversation will be easier. There will be break points in fifteen miles intervals along the ride on the way out and the next day on the way back.
She and I will share a tent. I don't plan on getting any sleep and that is why I rode today with about two hours, or three of sleep. I didn't plan it that way it just happened I took day time sinus medicine to close to the evening hours.
Anyway, I did fine except I'm beat. It seems like it took forever to ride a mile with that thing. Those little wheels make me have to pedal that much more and I have to be in an easier gear because of the drag. My quads got a workout today. Gee I hope they are cool cut bulging as I walk in my riding pants. Trust me, they feel like they should be..
Tomorrow I'll try to start out a bit earlier to avoid the wind that usually occurs by early afternoon. This morning I planned on starting early but I pulled my car over to talk on the phone just as I left my condo. I was on the phone for probably fifty minutes. So I got a later start. She's adorable and a sweet friend in job turmoil right now.. so I wanted to be there for
her.
Then came the magical moment of the day! Her partner asked. "What is your advice on......"
Can I really recall anyone actually asking for my advice. I didn't think much of it then but after I got off the phone my buttons were popping (well, if I had buttons on my bicycle jersey). It's just a wonderful feeling to have someone value your opinion. Last weekend I helped her with an ad she wanted to place. I bet we spent close to an hour comparing layouts and lines of information and expressing how each caught our attention or made us feel. It was fun! What a magical time. You these two friends are about thirty years younger than myself and it's just fun to share some life taught wisdom and experience with them only when asked. Very important. Besides, are you kidding me, I learn more from them in so many way. I love it. It's really not an age thing.. I think we three just kind of click! Very magical! Our moments together are very magical!
Life is grand. I love where I live. I love having my windows open (I'm above the first floor) and hearing the people and dogs walk below and walk and laugh. I'm in the trees with the birds and I love their songs. At night I heard the tree frogs. Oh how delightful.
I'm so not ready for closed up air conditioning. So, I'll hold off as long as possible. I'm not like a lot of people who think once they turn the air conditioning on they leave it on. Every on has their on thoughts and plans about doing things. Some people think the air conditioning is like the furnace and only runs when it around to desired temperature. But, I have heard air conditioning running in fifty degree temperatures. Why? Because they run to pull the moisture out of the house. Anyway, that's my experience on the subject.
Time to close I want to play my guitar, draw, and read before going to bed. See, I'm waking up. Earlier I was falling asleep as I was drawing a picture so I went and laid down on the bed. Hello! Then I was wide awake! What is it with me and not being able to sleep in the horizontal position? I won't be able to sleep in the tent either. It's okay I have already factored that in..I'll get a little sleep. And I'll order a tail wind for the way home. Oh hell, both ways! Let's see if "The Secret" can pull that one off!" Universe, are you listening? Be with me...make it magical!
Friday, May 04, 2007
The Hydrogen Fuel Cell Cars..
I'm reading "The End of Oil" by Paul Roberts. Written 2004. The book is quite fascinating actually and the chapter on hydrogen fuel cells tell me alot about how it will work. Actually, it needs a fuel like national gas to or manure in the tank . There is an electric wire which separates the electrons from the proton then another wire to rejoin them again.
Chapter three tell you all about the hydrogen fuel cells and how they work. Do you remember before 9 11 and Bush's stat of the union address actually had to consider domestic policies..that was when he mentioned hydrogen fuel cell cars... and I was stunned as so many Americans were watching the address. It was the first time we had ever heard anything about hydrogen fuel cell powered cars. What? Was my reaction.
But, after 9 11 Bush never had to worry much about domestic policies because every other word was trying to get us over there in Iraq to protect "our interest" over there. In other words the "oil".
Or maybe he did refer to hydrogen fuel cell cars again in 2002 (or maybe it was the first time); but never the less, it was suspected that he mentioned it in the 2002 state of the union address to avoid the politically dangerous task of raising fuel efficiency in American cars.
It seems people are actually losing interest in the hydrogen fuel cell idea. My personal opinion? Well, Fords are still catching on fire. And any other American made car are still rated below average by Consumers Reports...check it out!
Why would the American public "risk" leasing or buying a hydrogen fuel cell car made by the American auto industry?
I love this quote at the end of Chapter three by Frank Lynch, a former automotive engineer who now designs hydrogen generators, "I'm afraid that when we finally get people to stop associating hydrogen with bombs and the Hindenburg explosion, the next work they'll think of will be 'scam.'" I love it! It got a chuckle out of me..
Hm! I'm glancing through the rest of the book and do not see a single chapter about using electricity (created by windmills). Remember "Who killed the electric car?" Rent the DVD, you'll love it! A real eye opening. Netflex has it. It's so good I bought the DVD.
Anyway, electricity is here! We won't need special fueling pumps or fueling stations.. on a regular outlet. Hello! California, and only California, because they gripped enough is allowed to sell the $2,000 kit that the owner (or dealer) can convert his existing Prius to become a plug-in. Don't you just love it? And haven't the auto dealers and the government just kept it as quiet as hell. Except for the DVD "Who killed the Electric Car?" I believe they mention it.
I do believe that hydrogen fuel cell powered vehicle will never fly :) It's a scam people from the government to you so you actually think they have clean air, non-oil dependent future plans. But when they did do is built more super sized SUVs like the Ford Excursion that get ( and get a load of this.. of course you'll have too... I mean gas..) which gets a mere 4 (yes I said four) miles per gallon in the city. That would be like driving my condo around town.
Now would be crazy enough to buy one of these buildings? Someone already maxed out on his credit cards? Oh that reminds me, read "Maxed Out" by James D. Scurlock. You love it!
I need to get reading because next I want to read. "The Two-Income Trap" by Elizabeth Warren and Amelia Warren Tyagi. Another good read... I could tell just by reading the first few pages.
Don't you just love this stuff?
Chapter three tell you all about the hydrogen fuel cells and how they work. Do you remember before 9 11 and Bush's stat of the union address actually had to consider domestic policies..that was when he mentioned hydrogen fuel cell cars... and I was stunned as so many Americans were watching the address. It was the first time we had ever heard anything about hydrogen fuel cell powered cars. What? Was my reaction.
But, after 9 11 Bush never had to worry much about domestic policies because every other word was trying to get us over there in Iraq to protect "our interest" over there. In other words the "oil".
Or maybe he did refer to hydrogen fuel cell cars again in 2002 (or maybe it was the first time); but never the less, it was suspected that he mentioned it in the 2002 state of the union address to avoid the politically dangerous task of raising fuel efficiency in American cars.
It seems people are actually losing interest in the hydrogen fuel cell idea. My personal opinion? Well, Fords are still catching on fire. And any other American made car are still rated below average by Consumers Reports...check it out!
Why would the American public "risk" leasing or buying a hydrogen fuel cell car made by the American auto industry?
I love this quote at the end of Chapter three by Frank Lynch, a former automotive engineer who now designs hydrogen generators, "I'm afraid that when we finally get people to stop associating hydrogen with bombs and the Hindenburg explosion, the next work they'll think of will be 'scam.'" I love it! It got a chuckle out of me..
Hm! I'm glancing through the rest of the book and do not see a single chapter about using electricity (created by windmills). Remember "Who killed the electric car?" Rent the DVD, you'll love it! A real eye opening. Netflex has it. It's so good I bought the DVD.
Anyway, electricity is here! We won't need special fueling pumps or fueling stations.. on a regular outlet. Hello! California, and only California, because they gripped enough is allowed to sell the $2,000 kit that the owner (or dealer) can convert his existing Prius to become a plug-in. Don't you just love it? And haven't the auto dealers and the government just kept it as quiet as hell. Except for the DVD "Who killed the Electric Car?" I believe they mention it.
I do believe that hydrogen fuel cell powered vehicle will never fly :) It's a scam people from the government to you so you actually think they have clean air, non-oil dependent future plans. But when they did do is built more super sized SUVs like the Ford Excursion that get ( and get a load of this.. of course you'll have too... I mean gas..) which gets a mere 4 (yes I said four) miles per gallon in the city. That would be like driving my condo around town.
Now would be crazy enough to buy one of these buildings? Someone already maxed out on his credit cards? Oh that reminds me, read "Maxed Out" by James D. Scurlock. You love it!
I need to get reading because next I want to read. "The Two-Income Trap" by Elizabeth Warren and Amelia Warren Tyagi. Another good read... I could tell just by reading the first few pages.
Don't you just love this stuff?
Wednesday, May 02, 2007
The one in the distance dream...
I'm celebrating my ex's (well it been 2 1/2 years since we split) or should I say my friend's birthday tomorrow evening. We have always kept our friendship close. It was very special. But I believe that the time we needed to be together has come to an end.
She's having her long distance girlfriend of over a year move in at the end of the month. My ex shows signs of nervousness when they were together this past weekend with a bunch of friends for a mini vacation. I think she'll be fine.
I have someone in my life too. She and I have special feelings for each other even though we don't call it a relationship. I think you can't be intimate for seven months and not develop those feelings. I miss her right after she leaves. The day after she tells me she misses me already to. We may try to see each other more than once a week..hopefully. Our time together we quality time. It's so good and that's why we miss each other so quickly I think.
I don't know about her but I'm afraid to change things just too much because longing for each other is very good. It's a very good sign that our intimacy is magical and special. Missing each other is so fabulous when we finally do get together. It's magical!
My ex and I remain close friends. I'll take her out for her birthday tomorrow evening. I just can't seen to find the right card. So, I guess I'll add my own message to it. You know sometimes I get choked up thinking that I just won't be able to pick up the phone and call her any time I want. Well another one of her friends is pretty spoiled too have her pretty much to herself. It will be different now with her having a lover around. Oh well. I'm just glad she is happy.
For some reason for the past couple of years since we split I have always tried to keep my lover's away. In other words I never wanted to rub it in my ex's face. I wanted her to find someone first to join her and her friends.
Life is just hard that way. I'm glad she and I remain close friends. I have a lover but I'm not sure I'm ready for a live in partner. I enjoy my freedom just too much. I love having separate sets of friends. They are all precious to me.
I think it's what I asked the universe for and so it is exactly what I got. I wanted someone, a regular lover, who was not totally available to me and it's exactly what I got. The longing is a little sad, the desire great and when we finally get together are moments together are precious.
So why do I long for the tall, long blonde haired beauty. I think since I was a kid, I longed for her to hold me and love me. I still long for her. She, the someone who is so far out of reach. I know who she is, I think of her everyday. The good doctor maybe. Oh why can't I have you in my life....or someone just as wonderfully warm and brilliant as you. There was something in everything about her - so magical! The other day I met a possible substitute. But, always out of reach. Always probably straight. I just wish a beauty such as this would meet me half way some time. You know, show signs of being interested in me too! Flirt with me for god's sake! Give me a sign.
I feel this longer haired blonde who is warm and sweet with pretty breast getting closer to entering my aura. I feel her. I think of her all the time. Is it another kind of longing. Is it longing for something I never got. Is it something I feel out of fear of a relationship. I'm afraid to commit to another, so I long for still another love? Does this blonde mystical woman keep me safe. Or do I know no other kind of love but only distance out-of-reach love? I never really expect anyone to love me only me loving them. Well, it was my life, my lonely life. As a kid growing up, I longed for this wonderful, affectionate, warm, tall, blonde woman to hold me and love me..it never happened. It still hasn't happened; she is always out of reach. Just me wanting her. I need to feel her wanting me. Is it fear of the present?
Well, I guess it is what makes life interesting. All of my life before and after my long term relationship. I have looked for her, longed for her. But never finding her, and if I did from a distance, she was always the one out of reach. Will I ever be able to hold her close to me and just love and adore her. Worship her! Thank the universe for her? Will our sex be just as wonderful or more heavenly then seemingly possible. This is what I want. I want fire works and shooting stars. I want it all! And because I know specify what I want...I expect the universe to deliver very soon. I can't wait!
The Big Picture
I was thinking as I ran this morning about this country's housing and credit situation. How the government allows big business like banking and financial institutions to take advantage of the ignorance and wants of people.
It seems that if anyone of any wage category wants to buy a house these institutions will find a way for you to get it. I was reading in "Maxed Out" by James D Scurlock that a young woman working at Home Depot or Loews or one of them had her sights on a $200,000 home. Anyway, I guess between the realtor and banker suggestions she got her loan. The banker sat there and she and he committed fraud. He suggested she put $6,000 in stead of $1,300 has her monthly wages. I'm sure her interest rate was low at the beginning. I'm sure their was financing too for the down payment. Anyway, the realtor and banker and title company all got their fees at closing. Within six months she defaulted and lost the house.
Of course some blames fall on the buyer here too. I mean where was the extra money going to come from...just fall out of the sky? She should have known that she was being taken for a ride.
Back about twenty years ago and beyond it was tough to get a loan because bank officers didn't want to take a chance on you. Seems that mentality changed with the introduction of the credit card. Suddenly everyone had ready credit.
The credit card changed everything about our economy. Banks learned they could make a bundle on credit card balances. Banks still don't pay their employees anything but the big shots are making a killing.
This is just how the government runs the country too. This administration sees tax payers has nothing more than a monetary resource. They don't want you to get any breaks because they are working for big businesses like health, insurance, oil, auto, banks and more.
We as legitimate (that's another blog entry) tax payers are slaves to big business and Bush. Is it just me are is Bush getting about as arrogant as they come. I think after about seven years he finally caught on to what daddy and cronies are all about...riping people off to benefit the rich oil and banker mongrels.
I believe that this economy is borderline disaster because through advertising and most of all "keeping up with the Jones" people are pushing credit limits,failing and losing everything.
"So and so has a big truck so I gotta get a big truck" is the mentality that will crush your economic state of mind.
We must get back to the basics of life. Simply! Who are you trying to impress anyway? If that is the only way you think she will love you..then forget her. She has no common sense. Daddy probably bought everything for her and still does and now she expects you to take over financing her every whim.
Live within your means! Now that's a novel idea! Hark! Learn to do without! Oh my god, I should die! Learn to put off gratification - another novel idea! I put things off and within a week either I have forgotten about it or decided I really didn't really need it. If I want to treat myself I make it something small. I've learned and it doesn't take much to make me happy. Rather get into yourself, your health, meditate, read, do yogi, a walk in the evening can do you wonders and you'll meet like minded people.
When I was in school I loved, and admired, (but was too insecure myself to try it) the kid who had a "look of their own". They didn't care what the next girl or guy wore. They had their own "artsy" look.
I didn't stand a chance to be an individual around my mother. She was "one of them". She was always worried about "what people would thinkg". (wasn't I more important than "them"?) I grew to hate the woman and now can't stand to be in her presence. The woman was always in pain about something..constantly. I kept waiting for her to die, but year after year, the crabbing and complaining went on... I finally had to move far away. First I tried emotionally separately myself. That didn't work. She was draining the very life out of me. So then I moved physically away, far away. Where do people actually get off thinking that something really wants to fuss all over them all the time. The woman was a total pain in the ass! God, how that woman ruined my life. Talk about manipulating, controlling and shallow. I'm so glad I do not associate with them any more. Thank God!
Oops how did that resurface? Got a little side-tracked there. Anyway, bottom line - beware. I was just thinking that I was so lucky not to have "the credit card" as I was in my early adult life and first getting starting work and living in an apartment trying to save for a down payment. It took that good union job and within a year I had my downpayment to buy my condo.
Well I guess, there were "the credit cards" I just never got one. And finally years later when I did, probably in the 90's I pay everything off every month. I watched my budget and if I couldn't afford it. I didn't buy it. I "saved up" for things. I now the banks weren't making any money off of me..sorry.
Just say "No" to spending. That doesn't give you the green light to use other people and take advantage of someone who is genious. After a while, they'll see right through you anyway. Remember, you never get anything for nothing. Another one: If it (or he or she) looks too good to be true, then your gut is trying to tell you something).
Okay, I have to go down and get the paper now and read so I have more to sprout off about. Have a nice day. Thanks for stopping by.
It seems that if anyone of any wage category wants to buy a house these institutions will find a way for you to get it. I was reading in "Maxed Out" by James D Scurlock that a young woman working at Home Depot or Loews or one of them had her sights on a $200,000 home. Anyway, I guess between the realtor and banker suggestions she got her loan. The banker sat there and she and he committed fraud. He suggested she put $6,000 in stead of $1,300 has her monthly wages. I'm sure her interest rate was low at the beginning. I'm sure their was financing too for the down payment. Anyway, the realtor and banker and title company all got their fees at closing. Within six months she defaulted and lost the house.
Of course some blames fall on the buyer here too. I mean where was the extra money going to come from...just fall out of the sky? She should have known that she was being taken for a ride.
Back about twenty years ago and beyond it was tough to get a loan because bank officers didn't want to take a chance on you. Seems that mentality changed with the introduction of the credit card. Suddenly everyone had ready credit.
The credit card changed everything about our economy. Banks learned they could make a bundle on credit card balances. Banks still don't pay their employees anything but the big shots are making a killing.
This is just how the government runs the country too. This administration sees tax payers has nothing more than a monetary resource. They don't want you to get any breaks because they are working for big businesses like health, insurance, oil, auto, banks and more.
We as legitimate (that's another blog entry) tax payers are slaves to big business and Bush. Is it just me are is Bush getting about as arrogant as they come. I think after about seven years he finally caught on to what daddy and cronies are all about...riping people off to benefit the rich oil and banker mongrels.
I believe that this economy is borderline disaster because through advertising and most of all "keeping up with the Jones" people are pushing credit limits,failing and losing everything.
"So and so has a big truck so I gotta get a big truck" is the mentality that will crush your economic state of mind.
We must get back to the basics of life. Simply! Who are you trying to impress anyway? If that is the only way you think she will love you..then forget her. She has no common sense. Daddy probably bought everything for her and still does and now she expects you to take over financing her every whim.
Live within your means! Now that's a novel idea! Hark! Learn to do without! Oh my god, I should die! Learn to put off gratification - another novel idea! I put things off and within a week either I have forgotten about it or decided I really didn't really need it. If I want to treat myself I make it something small. I've learned and it doesn't take much to make me happy. Rather get into yourself, your health, meditate, read, do yogi, a walk in the evening can do you wonders and you'll meet like minded people.
When I was in school I loved, and admired, (but was too insecure myself to try it) the kid who had a "look of their own". They didn't care what the next girl or guy wore. They had their own "artsy" look.
I didn't stand a chance to be an individual around my mother. She was "one of them". She was always worried about "what people would thinkg". (wasn't I more important than "them"?) I grew to hate the woman and now can't stand to be in her presence. The woman was always in pain about something..constantly. I kept waiting for her to die, but year after year, the crabbing and complaining went on... I finally had to move far away. First I tried emotionally separately myself. That didn't work. She was draining the very life out of me. So then I moved physically away, far away. Where do people actually get off thinking that something really wants to fuss all over them all the time. The woman was a total pain in the ass! God, how that woman ruined my life. Talk about manipulating, controlling and shallow. I'm so glad I do not associate with them any more. Thank God!
Oops how did that resurface? Got a little side-tracked there. Anyway, bottom line - beware. I was just thinking that I was so lucky not to have "the credit card" as I was in my early adult life and first getting starting work and living in an apartment trying to save for a down payment. It took that good union job and within a year I had my downpayment to buy my condo.
Well I guess, there were "the credit cards" I just never got one. And finally years later when I did, probably in the 90's I pay everything off every month. I watched my budget and if I couldn't afford it. I didn't buy it. I "saved up" for things. I now the banks weren't making any money off of me..sorry.
Just say "No" to spending. That doesn't give you the green light to use other people and take advantage of someone who is genious. After a while, they'll see right through you anyway. Remember, you never get anything for nothing. Another one: If it (or he or she) looks too good to be true, then your gut is trying to tell you something).
Okay, I have to go down and get the paper now and read so I have more to sprout off about. Have a nice day. Thanks for stopping by.
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