I've had this head and chest cold. I'm done with it! Actually, my chest and throat is bothering me so I cancelled on the morning bike ride.
Oh, I may get out there on my own for a while. I just don't feel like trying to keep up with others. If I ride I may want to go at a much slower pace and take my time until I'm better.
I think I'll call 'em too!
I'm staying in tonight.. think of all the money I'm saving. I may be going out of town next weekend so that will be costing me something. The gal I may go with is slowing things up with her relationship, well maybe! We'll see! The weekend isn't over with yet! who knows they might have may up. And I"m not sure I have a baby sitter for Emma yet... so we'll see!
Saturday, September 30, 2006
Very Sweet!
I take to heart certain acts of kindness that some people may just consider as common curiosity. I interpret those kind acts as forms of love and I know they are.
It is amazing to me when people are very sweet to me. My lover holds me and rubs my back and makes the ache in my heart ease.
The sweet things in the running group too are terrific. Words such as "Where have you been. I was worrying about you?" touches my heart in a way I can't find the words to response.
She turns around to see if I am okay and if I am coming up behind her as we run up the hill. This 26 year old with the big heart! She's precious! At times, I wish I could draw her near and hold to my heart and kiss her head. I have, but it's been so long ago. She's just precious to me.
I'll see her tomorrow evening and observe. I love to listen to her interactions with others.
She's happy and excited about life as she should be. God love her and please keep her safe and free from harm and pain. Hold her for me! Please keep her successful, safe, happy, well, loved and wonderful.
It is amazing to me when people are very sweet to me. My lover holds me and rubs my back and makes the ache in my heart ease.
The sweet things in the running group too are terrific. Words such as "Where have you been. I was worrying about you?" touches my heart in a way I can't find the words to response.
She turns around to see if I am okay and if I am coming up behind her as we run up the hill. This 26 year old with the big heart! She's precious! At times, I wish I could draw her near and hold to my heart and kiss her head. I have, but it's been so long ago. She's just precious to me.
I'll see her tomorrow evening and observe. I love to listen to her interactions with others.
She's happy and excited about life as she should be. God love her and please keep her safe and free from harm and pain. Hold her for me! Please keep her successful, safe, happy, well, loved and wonderful.
Friday, September 29, 2006
Magic numbers
I woke up during the night and looked at my digital clock to see 2:34 AM. My stomach was bothering me so I got up and ate a banana and blogged a bit. When I returned to my bedroom and bed and looked at the clock it was 3:45 AM. Is that too cool!
This afternoon I needed to make a decision before returning a phone call. On my cable box I saw 4:44, then when I decided to call her it was 5:55 PM.
Good omens! I call them good omens. A sign that my day will be magical and brilliant and bright and filled with love and sex!
Doesn't get better than that!
This afternoon I needed to make a decision before returning a phone call. On my cable box I saw 4:44, then when I decided to call her it was 5:55 PM.
Good omens! I call them good omens. A sign that my day will be magical and brilliant and bright and filled with love and sex!
Doesn't get better than that!
Men are less patient
and wreckless and more daring. It's always bad to generalize and yes we are all different. But's it's so easy to generalize and place people into boxes and then close the lid.
I do that! You can tell that I was kicked around as a kid! I had no value! And I have nothing to do with these people now. May they rest in peace!
I do that! You can tell that I was kicked around as a kid! I had no value! And I have nothing to do with these people now. May they rest in peace!
It's time for women to step up to the plate
and I don't mean dinner plate; I mean the presidential plate!
Come on - men have been messing things up since the beginning of time, it's about women now! Finally, women are tied of sitting in the passenger seat and demand control of the wheel.
To consider women in powerful positions simply think about men and women acting out daily rolls. Look at the traditional family for example. Whatever the man didn't want to do he designated his wife to do. She could barely get him to take out the garage much less change a diaper. He hide in the garage or dwell ed into sports. He would prefer to buy the biggest TV instead of a refrigerator for his family. He must have his toys; big toys like the biggest and buy pick-up. Bragging rights! He's all about bragging rights, teaching, preaching, being loud. Hear me or else, mam ma! If you don't do what I want, I'll punch you! Really piss me off and I'll kill you! Ignore me and I'll start a war! Traditionally, who held the family together? Who balanced the checkbook and laid his clothes out each morning? Yes, who was controlled and told to be a housewife and mother. Oh, you want a job? Let's see, your a woman, so you can be a nurse, teacher or librarian. No, you can only do a women's job. See the paper - the job listed are grouped into men and women job. Thank you local paper, male oriented editors at large. Thank you for keeping me in my place. I'm too stupid to think for myself so thank you! Oh, and thank you for Affirmative Action. Yeah right! You got women and minorities men's good jobs if they were union that is. Even today a woman may be doing the same job as a man and probably better yet she doesn't get equal pay even though she may be head of household. Gee, and I thought men loved their mothers, sister, and wives? I guess not afterall. How can you be so insensitive to women and marry one? Hm? Oh, I know, she you can have a trophy wife, she can be the mother of your children, so she can cook, clean and do your laundry, and be your whore all for free! What a deal! Yet (in the fifties) you held all the rights and power over her. You could even have her institutionalized if she didn't behave.
Of course my vote is for the underdog! The woman! Women are gentle souls who know that their actions can and do have an affect on others. Men only see what they want in that moment and don't care about the consequences of their behavior as long as they get what they want.
Can men go along with having a women as president of their country? Men like war, power and the pursue of every billion they can make - just as long as they are making more than their buddies. It's all about competition and death and take over. I want what you have! When is enough enough?
Dr. Michelle Bachele has just been elected president of Chile. She is single and agnostic in a predominately Catholic country (where aren't they?). She has had a child out of wedlock. She is a pediatric physician. The country was ruled by a dictator (a man of course). Her father was a general and died in prison. She and her mother where there with him. She won the election and beat out a billionaire! Was the democratic country ready for change? You bet!
Ted Turner according to "The View" thinks its time for women to get on board and fix the mess the men have made. Women who are less competitive, less aggressive but driven by their beliefs and would make good leaders.
Is our country ready for change? I hope so! We have so many red-necks in this country though that it is shameless. Republican politicians hide behind the Catholic religion when most of these "men" are nothing more than political enthusiasts out to line their monetary pockets. Just follow the money - OIL money that is and before you know ole Jeb's a millionaire!
The Bush dynasty (need I say more?) has positioned key players in tragical places. Cheney's Haliburton (no bid contacts) in the Middle East. Jeb Bush governor of Florida - how convenient is that? Dare I say "pre-programed" voting computers in every state and locale.
And large corporations - do they look at the full picture? The future? Oh the stock market may be humming along today but what happens when there are more businesses and paid workers in others countries than here. Will huge industries and corporations keep their headquarters in the USA. Is there a need for a general headquarters still or just head offices in each country?
What happens when all the good paying jobs leave this country? There will be no social services base because social services will finally reach the negative point after paying out more than is possible to receive.
Most people in the USA have at least six to ten thousand dollars balance on their credit cards at any given time. This means they are living way beyond their income and evidently poverty will catch up with them. Most people living in the USA are probably two months from being homeless if they should lose their jobs and their parents are already deceased or they are immigrants.
Those "jobs no body wants" may be the only jobs available for "anybody" in this country on day! Think about it people? What good is being a lawyer, doctor, dentist, builder, or anyone for that matter if no want can afford you; if most people are working at below minimum wage jobs. Can you afford a $30,000 and up automobile? Can you afford a $599,000.00 house or condo? Can you even afford $1000. rent for every month? Not on minimum wage?
The people who live in poverty in this country should invite Mr. Bush to come live with them for a month and see the real USA.
The middle class is declining and slipping away to India and other country where IT technicians and brilliant software geniuses prevail.
Mr. Bush is allowing industry and corporations to sell the USA down the river of denial on the way to India. Mr. Bush cares nothing about how you live or what kind of money you make. He hasn't a clue and if he did he wouldn't care. Because Mr Bush and the rest of the dynasty only care about how they appear to their cronies. Bragging rights, it's all about bragging rights among men. Men are out to impress men! Are they gay? I would say to a certain degree most men are gay! They are gay because they worry about impressing and keeping up with their buddies. Who would men rather watch a football game with? Who would men rather go fishing with and drink beer with? Other men - they'll gay!
I'm a lesbian and prefer the company of women - for everything! See the math is simple! Just do the math people!
And why are some men so sensitive and hate gays. Well, you know the answer to that? We usually hate in others what we hate most about ourselves. Simple math people, just do the math.
Personally, I think all men need more estrogen flowing in the veins. I much rather prefer the company of gay men. They are sensitive and thoughtful most of them and they know how to dress and decorate.
Now, I ask you, do you a straight women would elect Hillary as president. Well maybe a modern free spirited woman who thinks for herself. A Title Nine woman would probably vote for a woman in principle. But, I can tell you right now the whole time Hilary is in office, the crooked Republicans will spent every possible tax payer's dime to ditch the dirt on her. Of course Mr Ken Star has already done that and didn't the female attorney general, you know the tall one, invite him to do so? How ignorant was that? They caved on that one! How dare the Republicans spend our tax base on such selfish "personal" battles.
And as far as Iraq is concerned politically we are spinning our wheels there. Those people will never be free in that self-destructive country. You know if MEN didn't have to be dictators, pushy bastards, little babies who demand attention this whole planet would be much better off.
Men demand to be seen and heard thus the big ass super sized stupid looking little dick trucks you see pushing their way down the streets. They are so high profile they look about to tobel over in any slight gust of wind. Jacked up wheels for the little dicks demanding mamma's attention. Men studies show that men cannot hear women's voices but can hear men's voices just fine. A women, later a man, went to MIT and did a math question the other's, men or women in the class couldn't do. The professor suggested that her boyfriend solved the problem. The student later a boy suggested that society automatically assume that women are less good then men when women are just as good. Men are arragant! Women applying for grants had to preform much more tasks in application because MIT is negatively bias towards women. Women just do not get the chance to prove themselves. A transgender man realizes the major bias towards women, he knows becuase he was once a woman. He knows both sides. Woman are just as talented as men. Both men and women should get equal chance.
Women's minds wander in the bedroom while they are making love with a man. My mind does not wander in the bedroom when I am making love to my woman partner. Maybe the woman who cannot keep her mind on what's at hand needs to be with a woman.
Oprah's show Monday is entitled "Gay Wives". Let's face it! Many women get married due to social demands and they don't want to look like odd balls! There are just as many gay men getting married to women when they should really be with the same sex. Why does church, state, and subseqently family degrade homosexuality! Who cares? What business is it of yours who I love and make love too. If you are approached just say "no thank you" just like a would if a member of the opposite sex approached or flirted with you. Lighten up! Or are you getting upset for a reason? Are you gay? Are you suppressing feelings for a member of the same sex?
Men rule! Will they certainly need to be seem. They have a quintessential need to project projectiles in the air and on to people. Move over I'm coming through. I'm more important than you! I'm bigger and therefore smarter. I can take what I want. I hate men who make "proud" excuses for themselves. They know they are ignorant and are proud of it. You hit me first! Yes, thank god for little boys what would the war ever do without them. Yes, we need bullying and hatred in the world. Men are pretty good at bullying and pushing people around or they do an about face and are big babies!
As long as I get what I want I don't care if I pollute up the whole planet and destroy it as long as I get to drive my expensive gas guzzling noisy, stinking big ass truck. Because I'm a moron and a big baby who demands attention.
Men need mothers and I think we need a mother in the white house and many more on Capitol Hill.
Come on - men have been messing things up since the beginning of time, it's about women now! Finally, women are tied of sitting in the passenger seat and demand control of the wheel.
To consider women in powerful positions simply think about men and women acting out daily rolls. Look at the traditional family for example. Whatever the man didn't want to do he designated his wife to do. She could barely get him to take out the garage much less change a diaper. He hide in the garage or dwell ed into sports. He would prefer to buy the biggest TV instead of a refrigerator for his family. He must have his toys; big toys like the biggest and buy pick-up. Bragging rights! He's all about bragging rights, teaching, preaching, being loud. Hear me or else, mam ma! If you don't do what I want, I'll punch you! Really piss me off and I'll kill you! Ignore me and I'll start a war! Traditionally, who held the family together? Who balanced the checkbook and laid his clothes out each morning? Yes, who was controlled and told to be a housewife and mother. Oh, you want a job? Let's see, your a woman, so you can be a nurse, teacher or librarian. No, you can only do a women's job. See the paper - the job listed are grouped into men and women job. Thank you local paper, male oriented editors at large. Thank you for keeping me in my place. I'm too stupid to think for myself so thank you! Oh, and thank you for Affirmative Action. Yeah right! You got women and minorities men's good jobs if they were union that is. Even today a woman may be doing the same job as a man and probably better yet she doesn't get equal pay even though she may be head of household. Gee, and I thought men loved their mothers, sister, and wives? I guess not afterall. How can you be so insensitive to women and marry one? Hm? Oh, I know, she you can have a trophy wife, she can be the mother of your children, so she can cook, clean and do your laundry, and be your whore all for free! What a deal! Yet (in the fifties) you held all the rights and power over her. You could even have her institutionalized if she didn't behave.
Of course my vote is for the underdog! The woman! Women are gentle souls who know that their actions can and do have an affect on others. Men only see what they want in that moment and don't care about the consequences of their behavior as long as they get what they want.
Can men go along with having a women as president of their country? Men like war, power and the pursue of every billion they can make - just as long as they are making more than their buddies. It's all about competition and death and take over. I want what you have! When is enough enough?
Dr. Michelle Bachele has just been elected president of Chile. She is single and agnostic in a predominately Catholic country (where aren't they?). She has had a child out of wedlock. She is a pediatric physician. The country was ruled by a dictator (a man of course). Her father was a general and died in prison. She and her mother where there with him. She won the election and beat out a billionaire! Was the democratic country ready for change? You bet!
Ted Turner according to "The View" thinks its time for women to get on board and fix the mess the men have made. Women who are less competitive, less aggressive but driven by their beliefs and would make good leaders.
Is our country ready for change? I hope so! We have so many red-necks in this country though that it is shameless. Republican politicians hide behind the Catholic religion when most of these "men" are nothing more than political enthusiasts out to line their monetary pockets. Just follow the money - OIL money that is and before you know ole Jeb's a millionaire!
The Bush dynasty (need I say more?) has positioned key players in tragical places. Cheney's Haliburton (no bid contacts) in the Middle East. Jeb Bush governor of Florida - how convenient is that? Dare I say "pre-programed" voting computers in every state and locale.
And large corporations - do they look at the full picture? The future? Oh the stock market may be humming along today but what happens when there are more businesses and paid workers in others countries than here. Will huge industries and corporations keep their headquarters in the USA. Is there a need for a general headquarters still or just head offices in each country?
What happens when all the good paying jobs leave this country? There will be no social services base because social services will finally reach the negative point after paying out more than is possible to receive.
Most people in the USA have at least six to ten thousand dollars balance on their credit cards at any given time. This means they are living way beyond their income and evidently poverty will catch up with them. Most people living in the USA are probably two months from being homeless if they should lose their jobs and their parents are already deceased or they are immigrants.
Those "jobs no body wants" may be the only jobs available for "anybody" in this country on day! Think about it people? What good is being a lawyer, doctor, dentist, builder, or anyone for that matter if no want can afford you; if most people are working at below minimum wage jobs. Can you afford a $30,000 and up automobile? Can you afford a $599,000.00 house or condo? Can you even afford $1000. rent for every month? Not on minimum wage?
The people who live in poverty in this country should invite Mr. Bush to come live with them for a month and see the real USA.
The middle class is declining and slipping away to India and other country where IT technicians and brilliant software geniuses prevail.
Mr. Bush is allowing industry and corporations to sell the USA down the river of denial on the way to India. Mr. Bush cares nothing about how you live or what kind of money you make. He hasn't a clue and if he did he wouldn't care. Because Mr Bush and the rest of the dynasty only care about how they appear to their cronies. Bragging rights, it's all about bragging rights among men. Men are out to impress men! Are they gay? I would say to a certain degree most men are gay! They are gay because they worry about impressing and keeping up with their buddies. Who would men rather watch a football game with? Who would men rather go fishing with and drink beer with? Other men - they'll gay!
I'm a lesbian and prefer the company of women - for everything! See the math is simple! Just do the math people!
And why are some men so sensitive and hate gays. Well, you know the answer to that? We usually hate in others what we hate most about ourselves. Simple math people, just do the math.
Personally, I think all men need more estrogen flowing in the veins. I much rather prefer the company of gay men. They are sensitive and thoughtful most of them and they know how to dress and decorate.
Now, I ask you, do you a straight women would elect Hillary as president. Well maybe a modern free spirited woman who thinks for herself. A Title Nine woman would probably vote for a woman in principle. But, I can tell you right now the whole time Hilary is in office, the crooked Republicans will spent every possible tax payer's dime to ditch the dirt on her. Of course Mr Ken Star has already done that and didn't the female attorney general, you know the tall one, invite him to do so? How ignorant was that? They caved on that one! How dare the Republicans spend our tax base on such selfish "personal" battles.
And as far as Iraq is concerned politically we are spinning our wheels there. Those people will never be free in that self-destructive country. You know if MEN didn't have to be dictators, pushy bastards, little babies who demand attention this whole planet would be much better off.
Men demand to be seen and heard thus the big ass super sized stupid looking little dick trucks you see pushing their way down the streets. They are so high profile they look about to tobel over in any slight gust of wind. Jacked up wheels for the little dicks demanding mamma's attention. Men studies show that men cannot hear women's voices but can hear men's voices just fine. A women, later a man, went to MIT and did a math question the other's, men or women in the class couldn't do. The professor suggested that her boyfriend solved the problem. The student later a boy suggested that society automatically assume that women are less good then men when women are just as good. Men are arragant! Women applying for grants had to preform much more tasks in application because MIT is negatively bias towards women. Women just do not get the chance to prove themselves. A transgender man realizes the major bias towards women, he knows becuase he was once a woman. He knows both sides. Woman are just as talented as men. Both men and women should get equal chance.
Women's minds wander in the bedroom while they are making love with a man. My mind does not wander in the bedroom when I am making love to my woman partner. Maybe the woman who cannot keep her mind on what's at hand needs to be with a woman.
Oprah's show Monday is entitled "Gay Wives". Let's face it! Many women get married due to social demands and they don't want to look like odd balls! There are just as many gay men getting married to women when they should really be with the same sex. Why does church, state, and subseqently family degrade homosexuality! Who cares? What business is it of yours who I love and make love too. If you are approached just say "no thank you" just like a would if a member of the opposite sex approached or flirted with you. Lighten up! Or are you getting upset for a reason? Are you gay? Are you suppressing feelings for a member of the same sex?
Men rule! Will they certainly need to be seem. They have a quintessential need to project projectiles in the air and on to people. Move over I'm coming through. I'm more important than you! I'm bigger and therefore smarter. I can take what I want. I hate men who make "proud" excuses for themselves. They know they are ignorant and are proud of it. You hit me first! Yes, thank god for little boys what would the war ever do without them. Yes, we need bullying and hatred in the world. Men are pretty good at bullying and pushing people around or they do an about face and are big babies!
As long as I get what I want I don't care if I pollute up the whole planet and destroy it as long as I get to drive my expensive gas guzzling noisy, stinking big ass truck. Because I'm a moron and a big baby who demands attention.
Men need mothers and I think we need a mother in the white house and many more on Capitol Hill.
So Magical!
Want it? Then dream it and what it happen. We create our own realities! M knows a nun who is 75 years old and has done about 28 iron man events. This marvelous, magical inspiration of a woman began running in her fifties.
Can you believe this? So the bottom line is - this it and your brain, bones, and connective tissue will follow.
Yesterday day evening on the nightly national news they did a spot on the aging baby boomers who are about to turn sixty. There are many very active baby boomers who don't know when to stop. The one guy has had everything just about replaced and the good doctor says baby boomers are out running their bodies. We feel young so find ourselves over doing it. Our bodies are older than our minds.
I beg to differ and so will the iron man event nun who feels her purpose in life is to inspire. She has certainly inspired me.
My body follows my lead! Glucosamine Chondroitin is the secret ingredient; that and MSM, S.A.M.E, and of course calcium.
Now, if only I could magically lose my appetite and lose this gut! I want to lose about seven pounds and get back down to 117 pounds.
I love running, bicycling, and yoga. I do love swimming but need to learn to breath correctly. I know how. I just need to make myself do it. Maybe I'll just get out there today and make myself do it correctly. This will be my magical event of today!
Can you believe this? So the bottom line is - this it and your brain, bones, and connective tissue will follow.
Yesterday day evening on the nightly national news they did a spot on the aging baby boomers who are about to turn sixty. There are many very active baby boomers who don't know when to stop. The one guy has had everything just about replaced and the good doctor says baby boomers are out running their bodies. We feel young so find ourselves over doing it. Our bodies are older than our minds.
I beg to differ and so will the iron man event nun who feels her purpose in life is to inspire. She has certainly inspired me.
My body follows my lead! Glucosamine Chondroitin is the secret ingredient; that and MSM, S.A.M.E, and of course calcium.
Now, if only I could magically lose my appetite and lose this gut! I want to lose about seven pounds and get back down to 117 pounds.
I love running, bicycling, and yoga. I do love swimming but need to learn to breath correctly. I know how. I just need to make myself do it. Maybe I'll just get out there today and make myself do it correctly. This will be my magical event of today!
Thursday, September 28, 2006
Aches gone!
She was here and I can still feel her arms around me; her hands on me. So natural!
The ache is eased!
The universe brought us together
The ache is eased!
The universe brought us together
Did I
actually pay $3,000. for a computer in 1996? Amazing! It was probably a 250M with a 56K modem. I remember it was the first time some one say "Hi" to me in instant message. I freaked out and dropped off!
Don't you just love electronic gadgets and thingamajigs. They keep getting more efficent, smaller and cheaper!
I did; however, trade back my Motorolla camera flip phone to a simple cell phone so I could hear my messages and those who called me. My friend has a similar problem with the Razor phone and she can't heard her phone calls. I do not care that my phone doesn't have all the bells and whistles, I just feel so fortunate that I can hear my calls! Just give me the simple life, the simple cell.
Maybe I need to get an Ipod Nano so my NIke running shoe will talk to me. Oh the things they do with software!
Don't you just love electronic gadgets and thingamajigs. They keep getting more efficent, smaller and cheaper!
I did; however, trade back my Motorolla camera flip phone to a simple cell phone so I could hear my messages and those who called me. My friend has a similar problem with the Razor phone and she can't heard her phone calls. I do not care that my phone doesn't have all the bells and whistles, I just feel so fortunate that I can hear my calls! Just give me the simple life, the simple cell.
Maybe I need to get an Ipod Nano so my NIke running shoe will talk to me. Oh the things they do with software!
What a Bite!
I have a mosquito bite on my hind thigh that is driving me crazy. The site has four consecutive bites that are connected. It's driving me insane. I don't want to scratch it for fear of infection. It's in a vulnerable spot that edges the toilet seat when I sit. Damn! I hate that!
It itches like hell. I find the best relief is scratching and then burning the shit out of it by applying Liquid Band aid.
It seems fall has the worst luck for me when it comes to poison ivy and insect stings. Last year I was lucky. The year before I had all the above.
This looks like I got a mosquito stuck in my pants and he stung the hell out of me.
It itches like hell. I find the best relief is scratching and then burning the shit out of it by applying Liquid Band aid.
It seems fall has the worst luck for me when it comes to poison ivy and insect stings. Last year I was lucky. The year before I had all the above.
This looks like I got a mosquito stuck in my pants and he stung the hell out of me.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Designated Living or Discrimination?
It seems the average Joe cannot afford to purchase a home these days so more buildings are being converted into apartments and new apartments buildings are being built.
But, one thing I do not like to read in the paper is that apartments designed and designated for seniors or those over age 55. Is this assisted living? Is this segregation?
But, never-the-less, I wonder how many of these people get out and run every morning, enter running races or biathlons?
I guess this upsets me because the very idea of specified living puts a certain age group into certain categories. Evidently it is believed that when you reach a certain age you begin to fall apart and need medicine and aid in getting around.
I'm insulted because I do not fit the "norm" of course I never have fit the norm! For one thing I'm a "feminine" lesbian so I am anti typical in that respect according to statistics if any have ever been taken. Actually, it was one of the reasons I stayed in the closet as long as I did. I just knew that I could not be a lesbian because I wasn't butch. Now who is discriminating? Me, I am.
I guess I just do not like to be put into a neat little category or package so psychologist who are making studies and news media can identify the likes of me.
Just how many lesbians do you know who are feminine? Can you spot them? Personally, I know quit a few. Fifteen years ago I didn't; but the younger ones, in their thirties and early forties are more feminine. They do not feel that they have to act butch to be a lesbian. I think there is nothing more sexy then seeing two feminine woman obviously in love.
Why does society and media have to put everything in a neat little "negative" box? And how dare you put me in a building with 55 and older who are fat, inactive and therefore on medicine? What is wrong with people? Don't they know 60 is the new 30, okay, 40! I'll take it! Do you know how many 40 year old women run? Don't put me in a neat little category to fit your needs just because you may be well, let's just say, sedentary! It's insulting to me! I can run circles around you so don't insult me!
Because I got the message at a very early age and learned that I must take care of myself by exercising and eating well and balanced.
I expect a lot from myself and I deliver! That's the secret people! Wake up to it! Mostly we, ourselves, create our bodies and our environments; our realities! Because of "past" social norms, our grandmothers, most women think that when they reach a certain age they should spread out and be fat and on blood pressure and cholesterol lowering medicine. It's not necessary people nor is be diabetic. It just doesn't happen with age; but, it does happen if you are perpetually inactive. Of course, you can begin to be active and healthier at any age. So, get going.
And when you go for a walk do not stroll. I can't stand it! Strolling on a treadmill or down the sidewalk is not exercise. Pick up the pact. Not feeling sorry for yourself. Where do you get that notion anyway?
Take control! You are the master of your existence. The power lies within you if you are eager enough to explore the possibilities. Why wimp away from power.
I can remember when I was very young, girls do not "sweat" because it was unladylike and impolite. Girls were suppose sit and look pretty and watch their boyfriends have all the fun participating in active sports. I believe that is why so many older women are on medicines and physically falling apart. They never learned to sweat and exercise. Thank god, for Title Nine. Thank you President Nixon who signed into law the bill that certain amounts of school funding went to girls' sports and scholarships. My dear sweet 26 year old friend got a four year college softball scholarship. What a wonderful break for her! Today she is a successful teacher.
These are the women of today and the future. I love them! My neighbor next door and so many more in the neighborhood get out and run every morning. I'm just about to get out there and join them. I love living in an active neighborhood.
Women today are independent, strong, brilliant, and more are becoming doctors than men. More women today finish college then twenty years ago; today more women finish then men.
When I was college age, women were discouraged from trying to go to college or the media said they went to college to find a husband so they could get married and become wives and mothers. Thank you self serving male orientated media of the 60's and 70's. It was pure hell living in society then. Women were categorized in the sixties, told what we could do and not do; told what was expected of us and don't dare color outside the lines for fear of being call a slot or whore or dyke. A strong determined women was called a bitch!
Men were so threatened if their girlfriend expressed a thought of their own, much less want to get an education. Thank god for the seventies and protest (against VietNam and corrupted government).
Never let any one anywhere put in neatly in a box! Groups? How dare you put me in a group of older citizens. I have the figure of a sexy forty year old. How dare you encircle me and try to make me yours. I'm not! I have never belonged to anyone. I sing my own tunes and dance to my own distinct drum beat! Don't try to lasso me and draw me in with stereotypical types.
Recently I was with a crowd of lesbians, younger than myself. I'd say between 45 and 55 and they all looked the same wide bottoms and close cropped hair? Why? Oh they were happy and partnered. On meds, great for the pharmaceutical companies.
I will never be like anyone else. I am unique in all the world! I am admired! Oh yes, it does take work! Actually, it doesn't - it's fun and wonderful, this active life of mine.
Designated living or discrimination? That's society for you - assuming. Never assume, where I am concerned never! It's insulting!
But, one thing I do not like to read in the paper is that apartments designed and designated for seniors or those over age 55. Is this assisted living? Is this segregation?
But, never-the-less, I wonder how many of these people get out and run every morning, enter running races or biathlons?
I guess this upsets me because the very idea of specified living puts a certain age group into certain categories. Evidently it is believed that when you reach a certain age you begin to fall apart and need medicine and aid in getting around.
I'm insulted because I do not fit the "norm" of course I never have fit the norm! For one thing I'm a "feminine" lesbian so I am anti typical in that respect according to statistics if any have ever been taken. Actually, it was one of the reasons I stayed in the closet as long as I did. I just knew that I could not be a lesbian because I wasn't butch. Now who is discriminating? Me, I am.
I guess I just do not like to be put into a neat little category or package so psychologist who are making studies and news media can identify the likes of me.
Just how many lesbians do you know who are feminine? Can you spot them? Personally, I know quit a few. Fifteen years ago I didn't; but the younger ones, in their thirties and early forties are more feminine. They do not feel that they have to act butch to be a lesbian. I think there is nothing more sexy then seeing two feminine woman obviously in love.
Why does society and media have to put everything in a neat little "negative" box? And how dare you put me in a building with 55 and older who are fat, inactive and therefore on medicine? What is wrong with people? Don't they know 60 is the new 30, okay, 40! I'll take it! Do you know how many 40 year old women run? Don't put me in a neat little category to fit your needs just because you may be well, let's just say, sedentary! It's insulting to me! I can run circles around you so don't insult me!
Because I got the message at a very early age and learned that I must take care of myself by exercising and eating well and balanced.
I expect a lot from myself and I deliver! That's the secret people! Wake up to it! Mostly we, ourselves, create our bodies and our environments; our realities! Because of "past" social norms, our grandmothers, most women think that when they reach a certain age they should spread out and be fat and on blood pressure and cholesterol lowering medicine. It's not necessary people nor is be diabetic. It just doesn't happen with age; but, it does happen if you are perpetually inactive. Of course, you can begin to be active and healthier at any age. So, get going.
And when you go for a walk do not stroll. I can't stand it! Strolling on a treadmill or down the sidewalk is not exercise. Pick up the pact. Not feeling sorry for yourself. Where do you get that notion anyway?
Take control! You are the master of your existence. The power lies within you if you are eager enough to explore the possibilities. Why wimp away from power.
I can remember when I was very young, girls do not "sweat" because it was unladylike and impolite. Girls were suppose sit and look pretty and watch their boyfriends have all the fun participating in active sports. I believe that is why so many older women are on medicines and physically falling apart. They never learned to sweat and exercise. Thank god, for Title Nine. Thank you President Nixon who signed into law the bill that certain amounts of school funding went to girls' sports and scholarships. My dear sweet 26 year old friend got a four year college softball scholarship. What a wonderful break for her! Today she is a successful teacher.
These are the women of today and the future. I love them! My neighbor next door and so many more in the neighborhood get out and run every morning. I'm just about to get out there and join them. I love living in an active neighborhood.
Women today are independent, strong, brilliant, and more are becoming doctors than men. More women today finish college then twenty years ago; today more women finish then men.
When I was college age, women were discouraged from trying to go to college or the media said they went to college to find a husband so they could get married and become wives and mothers. Thank you self serving male orientated media of the 60's and 70's. It was pure hell living in society then. Women were categorized in the sixties, told what we could do and not do; told what was expected of us and don't dare color outside the lines for fear of being call a slot or whore or dyke. A strong determined women was called a bitch!
Men were so threatened if their girlfriend expressed a thought of their own, much less want to get an education. Thank god for the seventies and protest (against VietNam and corrupted government).
Never let any one anywhere put in neatly in a box! Groups? How dare you put me in a group of older citizens. I have the figure of a sexy forty year old. How dare you encircle me and try to make me yours. I'm not! I have never belonged to anyone. I sing my own tunes and dance to my own distinct drum beat! Don't try to lasso me and draw me in with stereotypical types.
Recently I was with a crowd of lesbians, younger than myself. I'd say between 45 and 55 and they all looked the same wide bottoms and close cropped hair? Why? Oh they were happy and partnered. On meds, great for the pharmaceutical companies.
I will never be like anyone else. I am unique in all the world! I am admired! Oh yes, it does take work! Actually, it doesn't - it's fun and wonderful, this active life of mine.
Designated living or discrimination? That's society for you - assuming. Never assume, where I am concerned never! It's insulting!
Tuesday, September 26, 2006
Warm and Tender - a woman't touch
I've never fully participated with a man. There was no chemistry. I couldn't connect! I only received and never gave. How empty was that? So many years wasted. I cheated him. I wasn't honest! But, society, church, family, state, government won't let me me honest - just as long as I fit in! Color only within the allotted, permitted lines! Never vary! Never stray or go to hell; be ostracized! Be disappointing. Get locked up in a mental institution. Get killed!
But, the hell with all that! I finally found my way after so many empty years. It's wonderful with a woman - so complete. Such a turn-on! So much that I want, I can't stop. I give and give and give and giving is receiving. It's wonderful!
I love loving a woman. The touch of a woman. The closeness. The sharing. The wanting of more yet to come. It's a wonderful thing. I love your softness, your sweetness, your tenderness; everything about you. All of you!
I've never been this fulfilled! So much to love! So much to give; so much to receive.
But, the hell with all that! I finally found my way after so many empty years. It's wonderful with a woman - so complete. Such a turn-on! So much that I want, I can't stop. I give and give and give and giving is receiving. It's wonderful!
I love loving a woman. The touch of a woman. The closeness. The sharing. The wanting of more yet to come. It's a wonderful thing. I love your softness, your sweetness, your tenderness; everything about you. All of you!
I've never been this fulfilled! So much to love! So much to give; so much to receive.
Authentic Self
From Daily OM: "September 26, 2006 Against The GrainGoing Against What Is Popular
Just because an idea or way of doing things is popular doesn't mean it's right for everyone. However, part of the way that something becomes popular is that many of us don't take the time to determine what's right for us; we simply do what most of the people we know are doing. In this way, our decisions about life are made by default, which means they aren't what we call conscious decisions. There may be many other options available, but we don't always take the time to explore them. This may be the result of feeling overwhelmed or pressured by family, peers, and humanity at large, to do things their way, the way things have always been done. Regardless of the cause, it is important that, as often as we can, we decide for ourselves what to do with our lives rather than just drift along on the current of popular opinion. "
The above Daily OM offered wonderful words to live by and now here are mine: When I was a kid in school, I always admired the students who had their own look and their own way of doing things. It made them stand out as individuals rather than mere puppets afraid to color outside the lines. My mother was alway worried about "What would people think?" Which gave me the message that everyone else was "more" important. Bottom line: Never color within the lines, never follow the crowd and always be yourself. Do not be robbed of your authentic self like I was for the first 40 years of my life - always trying to please others never allowing myself to shine. Gay or straight no matter who you are - be yourself. NO ONE ELSE is more important! No PARENT is more important! Besides if they REALLY loved you they would want you to be your authentic self! LOVE YOURSELF FIRST above all others!
Just because an idea or way of doing things is popular doesn't mean it's right for everyone. However, part of the way that something becomes popular is that many of us don't take the time to determine what's right for us; we simply do what most of the people we know are doing. In this way, our decisions about life are made by default, which means they aren't what we call conscious decisions. There may be many other options available, but we don't always take the time to explore them. This may be the result of feeling overwhelmed or pressured by family, peers, and humanity at large, to do things their way, the way things have always been done. Regardless of the cause, it is important that, as often as we can, we decide for ourselves what to do with our lives rather than just drift along on the current of popular opinion. "
The above Daily OM offered wonderful words to live by and now here are mine: When I was a kid in school, I always admired the students who had their own look and their own way of doing things. It made them stand out as individuals rather than mere puppets afraid to color outside the lines. My mother was alway worried about "What would people think?" Which gave me the message that everyone else was "more" important. Bottom line: Never color within the lines, never follow the crowd and always be yourself. Do not be robbed of your authentic self like I was for the first 40 years of my life - always trying to please others never allowing myself to shine. Gay or straight no matter who you are - be yourself. NO ONE ELSE is more important! No PARENT is more important! Besides if they REALLY loved you they would want you to be your authentic self! LOVE YOURSELF FIRST above all others!
Monday, September 25, 2006
It's work for me....
to put my hatred aside and allow the universe to guide me and create my wonderful magical days filled with loving women.
Thoughts of love and wonder are coming my way. Sweet dreams filled with the touch of a woman.
The day was magical and tomorrow even more so. I'm coming into my own. My life is magical! I am magical!
Nothing was more magical then the biathlon I recently completed. I prayed on the way there for it to be magical. I went alone this year. Sometimes it's good to do things alone once in a while because we tend to talk more to people we don't know and get a chance to learn more about them. It was a magical day! The run went well with no problems. I felt good and was four minutes behind my competition. I was pleased with that!
The ride went has planned. Yes, I walked my bicycle up three steep hills, which I knew I probably would. The hills are practically impossible. I was fine until I got a front wheel flat at the 12th miles and there were ten more to go. Ten more easier miles - well if there was air in the tire. I had removed pump and spare to lighten the load. Not a mistake as it turned out I found that I could ride it flat! Yes, I had a new tire and it was an expensive tire with Kevlar beading and it adhered to the rim and gave me confidence; so much, that I rode 25 MPH down hills and cruised at 15 MPH or better. The ride was truly magical! Truly!
The last ten miles flew by as I was so concentrating on my prayers and watching the miles accumulate I saw 14, 16, 18, 20. At 20, I knew I was going to make it across the finish line..only two more miles to go. I was flying high! I had had at least three packs of Accel Gel and I was high with caffeine but mostly with magical hope. I prayed and felt in my gut (intuition) that I was going to make it across the finish line.
I about cried when I did! Then I prayed "I want sex" next! The rest of the day was magical. I felt strong after the magical finish and hung my bike up and went to see my results posted. There I saw a friend she and I spoke. I met two other people there. Another gal who finished when I did and another woman who let me use her pump to try to inflate my tube, which didn't work. She was so surprised that I rode ten miles on a flat tire!
As the morning went on and by the way, the weather was beautiful. Most of my truly magical memorable moments are on extraordinary beautiful days. She spoke of what she needed - in passing. I needed the same! In passing she told me where she worked. I called her the next morning... we got together that afternoon! Magical? You bet! Truly magical!
Life is magical.. when you allow it to happen. Think and plan your day, include your dreams, and then step back and let it happen. Pray that it's magical - you will be amazed!
Thoughts of love and wonder are coming my way. Sweet dreams filled with the touch of a woman.
The day was magical and tomorrow even more so. I'm coming into my own. My life is magical! I am magical!
Nothing was more magical then the biathlon I recently completed. I prayed on the way there for it to be magical. I went alone this year. Sometimes it's good to do things alone once in a while because we tend to talk more to people we don't know and get a chance to learn more about them. It was a magical day! The run went well with no problems. I felt good and was four minutes behind my competition. I was pleased with that!
The ride went has planned. Yes, I walked my bicycle up three steep hills, which I knew I probably would. The hills are practically impossible. I was fine until I got a front wheel flat at the 12th miles and there were ten more to go. Ten more easier miles - well if there was air in the tire. I had removed pump and spare to lighten the load. Not a mistake as it turned out I found that I could ride it flat! Yes, I had a new tire and it was an expensive tire with Kevlar beading and it adhered to the rim and gave me confidence; so much, that I rode 25 MPH down hills and cruised at 15 MPH or better. The ride was truly magical! Truly!
The last ten miles flew by as I was so concentrating on my prayers and watching the miles accumulate I saw 14, 16, 18, 20. At 20, I knew I was going to make it across the finish line..only two more miles to go. I was flying high! I had had at least three packs of Accel Gel and I was high with caffeine but mostly with magical hope. I prayed and felt in my gut (intuition) that I was going to make it across the finish line.
I about cried when I did! Then I prayed "I want sex" next! The rest of the day was magical. I felt strong after the magical finish and hung my bike up and went to see my results posted. There I saw a friend she and I spoke. I met two other people there. Another gal who finished when I did and another woman who let me use her pump to try to inflate my tube, which didn't work. She was so surprised that I rode ten miles on a flat tire!
As the morning went on and by the way, the weather was beautiful. Most of my truly magical memorable moments are on extraordinary beautiful days. She spoke of what she needed - in passing. I needed the same! In passing she told me where she worked. I called her the next morning... we got together that afternoon! Magical? You bet! Truly magical!
Life is magical.. when you allow it to happen. Think and plan your day, include your dreams, and then step back and let it happen. Pray that it's magical - you will be amazed!
Anger!
I'm feeling so much better today and so ready to run tomorrow morning. Just a bit, enough to get it out of my system!
I could complain about extra loud commercials that blasts information at me and try to "force me" I guess to buy their products. How rude is that! No wonder people are agitated and angry. It's so annoying to have to keep turning my my TV every time a commercial comes on.
But, I'll let that go as stupid arrogant men thinking they are putting on over on us. Yeah, we're so stupid we don't know that we are being drilled with an ignorant commercial.
And why are men door slammers? Hello? And why are men so single minded and can't see how their actions have an effect on other people! Me! Me! Me! Gee! It's make it appear as if they don't give a shit about anyone but themselves! So what else is new? Their most important thought of the day..how do I get MY needs met? Selfish bastards!
Anyway, I just let them all side track me once again! See what happens when you are abused? See what happens when men abuse - they make it more difficult for the nice guys that are out there. Yeah, I know there are few.
Men have done me wrong - can you tell? Am I bitter, hell yes! It's not my fault men are as ignorant as can be and I had to make excuses for them and ease the way for them and make them look good even after they abused me and my mother turned a blind eye! Yeah, isn't family wonderful? I hope I never see them again! This exposed hatred has been festering for years.
I could complain about extra loud commercials that blasts information at me and try to "force me" I guess to buy their products. How rude is that! No wonder people are agitated and angry. It's so annoying to have to keep turning my my TV every time a commercial comes on.
But, I'll let that go as stupid arrogant men thinking they are putting on over on us. Yeah, we're so stupid we don't know that we are being drilled with an ignorant commercial.
And why are men door slammers? Hello? And why are men so single minded and can't see how their actions have an effect on other people! Me! Me! Me! Gee! It's make it appear as if they don't give a shit about anyone but themselves! So what else is new? Their most important thought of the day..how do I get MY needs met? Selfish bastards!
Anyway, I just let them all side track me once again! See what happens when you are abused? See what happens when men abuse - they make it more difficult for the nice guys that are out there. Yeah, I know there are few.
Men have done me wrong - can you tell? Am I bitter, hell yes! It's not my fault men are as ignorant as can be and I had to make excuses for them and ease the way for them and make them look good even after they abused me and my mother turned a blind eye! Yeah, isn't family wonderful? I hope I never see them again! This exposed hatred has been festering for years.
Sunday, September 24, 2006
What If?
What if air pollution created an increase in the production of estrogen in men and all men become nurturing loving caregivers?
So the worst the air pollution gets the more feminine men will become. And in return, the air pollution problem will be resolved. Well, because feminine men won't want to drive the big honking trucks or SUVs and feminine men will become much more conscious, merely by nature, to be more careful, cautious and conserve our reminding clean air and try to clear up areas extremely polluted before more men become feminized merely by breathing.
Of course it takes a while, maybe ten years, before scientist discover what is making men more loving and nurturing and in extremely cases much more feminine in their actions.
So the worst the air pollution gets the more feminine men will become. And in return, the air pollution problem will be resolved. Well, because feminine men won't want to drive the big honking trucks or SUVs and feminine men will become much more conscious, merely by nature, to be more careful, cautious and conserve our reminding clean air and try to clear up areas extremely polluted before more men become feminized merely by breathing.
Of course it takes a while, maybe ten years, before scientist discover what is making men more loving and nurturing and in extremely cases much more feminine in their actions.
2006 and society is as backwards as ever!
Is it 2006 or 1966? It doesn't matter because society is just as backwards as ever. Why can't we progress.
We are born into this world free spirits here fore a purpose. We choose our parents, our body types, our life style. Yet, when we get here society in general throws us many curves and challenges.
Is this why spirits come to earth in human form? It meet challenges? To test ourselves? Or to teach? Maybe a little of both!
Why as a human race can we not learn? Why are we so backward when it comes to gender issues, sex issues, work issues, homosexuality and matters of global natures.
War? Why are human beings so hateful? So ready to fight and kill each other?
And we kill for religious sake? In the name of god, kill thy neighbor and cheat our brothers and sisters.
By all means, hate anyone and anything that is different than you.
The Catholic church tells us to hate homosexuals! The audacity of it all! Black and white; right and wrong; heaven and earth. I hate the church! The church makes people hate each other and causes wars. God (the universe which lies within) would be so disappointed!
You know what I think? The church and bibles were created by human beings; men wanting to control and rule over women, children and men of weaker status so they created groups and rules and social status and built invisible made up moral issues to hold others captive in ritual regulation or be damned to hell.
I know far too many children all ages between 26 or younger to mid forties who are afraid to tell their parents they are gay. I'm sure parents are suspect, usually being gay is slightly obvious. Children are afraid of not meeting their parents expectations and therefore are very afraid to tell their parents.
Why can't parents be more open to their children? "Know that I love you and you can come to me with anything and you'll never disappoint me, even if you were gay" But parents are selfish and I guess afraid too. But, come on give the kid a break! Some kids are on the verse of suicide when it comes to telling their parents. I have never heard of a parent wanting to commit suicide upon finding out that their child is gay. So, you tell me, who has the toughest part? I say the poor kid who is born into the world and going against the narrow grain of society.
And why are we so boxed into rules and regulations regarding life styles and changes? It's all about control! Through the years the controls have loosened up slightly. Remember the movie "The Children's Hour" where Shirley Maclaine fell in love with Audrey Hepburn and was so ashamed she ended up hanging herself. Why depict such narrow minded strict social expectations. The message was - if you can not follow the social rules feel free to kill yourself. Differences were not tolerated!
Homosexuality was considered a mental illness - can you believe it! Yes, people it is all about a few wanting to control a majority of people.
And same sex love was forbidden and couples could be incarcerated if caught making consensual love.
What an awful sick selfish and self-serving world we live in. Just because some old white male got some brainstorm up his ass or maybe something else and he liked it but it caused him shame. So he striked out against his own.
When I was a kid, anything pleasurable was a sin. I say screw the church! How dare you tell me who I can love and who I can't love. All you do is make up the rules and try to enforce them through fear and shame; just like the government. It's all about control. You can't be a big shot and rule over others if you cannot fear them into submission and control. Oh, and by the way, people who are dominated and controlled will end up hating the ruling people and turn on them so be careful and beware!
People can only be suppressed, dominated, and controlled for a period of time and then they gain the strength to rise up and strike back so stop making fools of people and even bigger fools of yourself.
It's human nature for males to want to rule, dominate, boss and think they need to be teaching all the time. Sometimes it is very tiresome to listen to men preach and teach all the time; when they are no smarter then the woman they are preaching too! Yet, she sits there meekly letting him think he actually knows something. Such bullshit needs to stop. Stop catering to weak males who don't know anything any more than you do! Lady, get a life! If he can't measure up get rid of the extra burden. Who needs 'em anyway! Get a good education; a good job and you won't have to sit and listen to all the bullshit when he wants to buy a 42" TV instead of a much needed refrigerator. Some men are nothing more than big kids anyway; so why burden yourself? Dumb that load! But my you my mother was part of the problem telling me to cater to men; to make him appear smarter than what he actually was. Kiss his ass, because socially he is more important than myself..
This is the way I was raised. I was told to let him think that he won whatever game we were playing and let him think he needs to teach me everything he thinks he knows. Oh, and he has to drive the car and he always knows just where he is going. Thank god for seat beats and bucket seats! And young women use to sit on the console on a little cushion and risked her life just so she can sit by him. How ignore is that? He controlled the finances and rules of the house.
In the fifties woman had no rights. He could institutionized her and the children without a problem. Women had no rights. Now you dare tell me that the bibles are words of god and I will tell you "bullshit". Human males wrote bibles and rules to suit their own selfish means. I will never believe anything else.
We are born into this world free spirits here fore a purpose. We choose our parents, our body types, our life style. Yet, when we get here society in general throws us many curves and challenges.
Is this why spirits come to earth in human form? It meet challenges? To test ourselves? Or to teach? Maybe a little of both!
Why as a human race can we not learn? Why are we so backward when it comes to gender issues, sex issues, work issues, homosexuality and matters of global natures.
War? Why are human beings so hateful? So ready to fight and kill each other?
And we kill for religious sake? In the name of god, kill thy neighbor and cheat our brothers and sisters.
By all means, hate anyone and anything that is different than you.
The Catholic church tells us to hate homosexuals! The audacity of it all! Black and white; right and wrong; heaven and earth. I hate the church! The church makes people hate each other and causes wars. God (the universe which lies within) would be so disappointed!
You know what I think? The church and bibles were created by human beings; men wanting to control and rule over women, children and men of weaker status so they created groups and rules and social status and built invisible made up moral issues to hold others captive in ritual regulation or be damned to hell.
I know far too many children all ages between 26 or younger to mid forties who are afraid to tell their parents they are gay. I'm sure parents are suspect, usually being gay is slightly obvious. Children are afraid of not meeting their parents expectations and therefore are very afraid to tell their parents.
Why can't parents be more open to their children? "Know that I love you and you can come to me with anything and you'll never disappoint me, even if you were gay" But parents are selfish and I guess afraid too. But, come on give the kid a break! Some kids are on the verse of suicide when it comes to telling their parents. I have never heard of a parent wanting to commit suicide upon finding out that their child is gay. So, you tell me, who has the toughest part? I say the poor kid who is born into the world and going against the narrow grain of society.
And why are we so boxed into rules and regulations regarding life styles and changes? It's all about control! Through the years the controls have loosened up slightly. Remember the movie "The Children's Hour" where Shirley Maclaine fell in love with Audrey Hepburn and was so ashamed she ended up hanging herself. Why depict such narrow minded strict social expectations. The message was - if you can not follow the social rules feel free to kill yourself. Differences were not tolerated!
Homosexuality was considered a mental illness - can you believe it! Yes, people it is all about a few wanting to control a majority of people.
And same sex love was forbidden and couples could be incarcerated if caught making consensual love.
What an awful sick selfish and self-serving world we live in. Just because some old white male got some brainstorm up his ass or maybe something else and he liked it but it caused him shame. So he striked out against his own.
When I was a kid, anything pleasurable was a sin. I say screw the church! How dare you tell me who I can love and who I can't love. All you do is make up the rules and try to enforce them through fear and shame; just like the government. It's all about control. You can't be a big shot and rule over others if you cannot fear them into submission and control. Oh, and by the way, people who are dominated and controlled will end up hating the ruling people and turn on them so be careful and beware!
People can only be suppressed, dominated, and controlled for a period of time and then they gain the strength to rise up and strike back so stop making fools of people and even bigger fools of yourself.
It's human nature for males to want to rule, dominate, boss and think they need to be teaching all the time. Sometimes it is very tiresome to listen to men preach and teach all the time; when they are no smarter then the woman they are preaching too! Yet, she sits there meekly letting him think he actually knows something. Such bullshit needs to stop. Stop catering to weak males who don't know anything any more than you do! Lady, get a life! If he can't measure up get rid of the extra burden. Who needs 'em anyway! Get a good education; a good job and you won't have to sit and listen to all the bullshit when he wants to buy a 42" TV instead of a much needed refrigerator. Some men are nothing more than big kids anyway; so why burden yourself? Dumb that load! But my you my mother was part of the problem telling me to cater to men; to make him appear smarter than what he actually was. Kiss his ass, because socially he is more important than myself..
This is the way I was raised. I was told to let him think that he won whatever game we were playing and let him think he needs to teach me everything he thinks he knows. Oh, and he has to drive the car and he always knows just where he is going. Thank god for seat beats and bucket seats! And young women use to sit on the console on a little cushion and risked her life just so she can sit by him. How ignore is that? He controlled the finances and rules of the house.
In the fifties woman had no rights. He could institutionized her and the children without a problem. Women had no rights. Now you dare tell me that the bibles are words of god and I will tell you "bullshit". Human males wrote bibles and rules to suit their own selfish means. I will never believe anything else.
A Fine Day
A fine birthday; as far as birthday's go..after this many. Funny, I still feel like thirty! I'm still doing that mental work so my body matches my mental status. It can be done! I can do anything! Remember, the power lies within each and every one of us.
Some days I just request my day to be magical and then I notice things that happen that make it truly magical. Lou does this too! And she said it always works for her whether she be working on a project at home and needs help or at work and is stuff with a problem. She prays and leaves it up to the universe and it always helps. She has a better heart than I and is more outgoing! Sometimes I get stuck in a situation and do not know which way to go.
I fine when I'm stuff the best thing to do is nothing; don't do anything for a while and let it rest.
I'm slowly getting over my cold; and hopefully tomorrow will be so much better. I have been so inactive that I was becoming depressed. Running is a way for me to fight depression and since I have been sick and unable to run depression is creeping back into my life and tears. But, I'm much better now. Maybe tomorrow I'll even try to run a little bit. Just to see if I can.
Or maybe I'll do another day of yoga and working out on the weight machines until my throat, chest and head is clear.
It's been a great birthday. I like never knowing what to expect I guess. We'll see. I know I want to become lean and strong and fast. I want to be better and younger then what I am today. I can do this! What me! I'll be checking out swimming lessons too and watching my diet and weight. The super dark chocolate cookie I had this evening may be my last for quit some time.
I'll getting better and stronger. This bad cold lasted four days; I'm done with it. With a good night sleep tonight I'll be better tomorrow.
Some days I just request my day to be magical and then I notice things that happen that make it truly magical. Lou does this too! And she said it always works for her whether she be working on a project at home and needs help or at work and is stuff with a problem. She prays and leaves it up to the universe and it always helps. She has a better heart than I and is more outgoing! Sometimes I get stuck in a situation and do not know which way to go.
I fine when I'm stuff the best thing to do is nothing; don't do anything for a while and let it rest.
I'm slowly getting over my cold; and hopefully tomorrow will be so much better. I have been so inactive that I was becoming depressed. Running is a way for me to fight depression and since I have been sick and unable to run depression is creeping back into my life and tears. But, I'm much better now. Maybe tomorrow I'll even try to run a little bit. Just to see if I can.
Or maybe I'll do another day of yoga and working out on the weight machines until my throat, chest and head is clear.
It's been a great birthday. I like never knowing what to expect I guess. We'll see. I know I want to become lean and strong and fast. I want to be better and younger then what I am today. I can do this! What me! I'll be checking out swimming lessons too and watching my diet and weight. The super dark chocolate cookie I had this evening may be my last for quit some time.
I'll getting better and stronger. This bad cold lasted four days; I'm done with it. With a good night sleep tonight I'll be better tomorrow.
Saturday, September 23, 2006
Great Day for Sleeping
Well, in my case, it's a better day for sleeping instead of sex because I still have a this cold. It's rainy, in the 60's and will dip to the fifties this evening.
Tomorrow morning is brunch. So, I need to get a lot of rest today. I'm stuffed up with body aches and chills. Ibuprofen works well. Mentally, I'm ready to go for a run. Physically? Forget it!
My new goal is to become leaner and meaner and improve my running pace and learn to swim. I can do this!
Tomorrow morning is brunch. So, I need to get a lot of rest today. I'm stuffed up with body aches and chills. Ibuprofen works well. Mentally, I'm ready to go for a run. Physically? Forget it!
My new goal is to become leaner and meaner and improve my running pace and learn to swim. I can do this!
Friday, September 22, 2006
War!
Yes, the US would go into Pakistan without permission from the UN to get Asama Bin Laden. Oh, it's just another excuse to get into that country. They can tell us anything. He could be long gone already! These men are stupid!
I think all the men who want war should be put out in the desert somewhere and just have them use swords and go head on into each other and kill each other. It seems to me that they are not happy unless they are killing.
US soldiers, what is left of them, need to keep their butts at home all this fighting is needless, senseless and pointless. These talks are fruitless and always are. The middle east is destined to fight each other till the end of time. It's all just a bunch of ruthless men who want to fight for fighting's sake. They certainly do not want peace just a piece of each other. I say again put them all out in the desert and let them fight until they all kill each other. They want to fight let them. They just don't need to take innocent people with them. They all seem just a little nuts to me! Cock fights! And they say they believe in god? I don't get it!
Well, I guess I sounded off enough for one sick person on one sick evening. It's time to try and rest. I guess I have watched too much CNN news this evening. Tomorrow will be a news free day I think!
You don't see women carrying on like a bunch of fool killing machines. I think these men should all be injected with lots of estrogen..until they all become successful decorators and hairdressers.
Oh yeah, and all that killing is done is the name of god. Just powerful words with nothing to back them up..let's face it. In all honesty the guys just want to brutally kill people! Savages! As a human race they certainly are not processing. It's been the same of shit for thousands of years. Killing, killing, killing! Not happy unless they are killing! Makes me want to puke!
And they call themselves religious. Gee, how convenience to stand behind religious beliefs.
It's all about power and pushing the other guy around.
You know, if the whole world prayed for peace and learned to be godlike and love thy neighbor as they should - there would be NO war! There would not be a need for war! Yeah, all in the name of god!
I think all the men who want war should be put out in the desert somewhere and just have them use swords and go head on into each other and kill each other. It seems to me that they are not happy unless they are killing.
US soldiers, what is left of them, need to keep their butts at home all this fighting is needless, senseless and pointless. These talks are fruitless and always are. The middle east is destined to fight each other till the end of time. It's all just a bunch of ruthless men who want to fight for fighting's sake. They certainly do not want peace just a piece of each other. I say again put them all out in the desert and let them fight until they all kill each other. They want to fight let them. They just don't need to take innocent people with them. They all seem just a little nuts to me! Cock fights! And they say they believe in god? I don't get it!
Well, I guess I sounded off enough for one sick person on one sick evening. It's time to try and rest. I guess I have watched too much CNN news this evening. Tomorrow will be a news free day I think!
You don't see women carrying on like a bunch of fool killing machines. I think these men should all be injected with lots of estrogen..until they all become successful decorators and hairdressers.
Oh yeah, and all that killing is done is the name of god. Just powerful words with nothing to back them up..let's face it. In all honesty the guys just want to brutally kill people! Savages! As a human race they certainly are not processing. It's been the same of shit for thousands of years. Killing, killing, killing! Not happy unless they are killing! Makes me want to puke!
And they call themselves religious. Gee, how convenience to stand behind religious beliefs.
It's all about power and pushing the other guy around.
You know, if the whole world prayed for peace and learned to be godlike and love thy neighbor as they should - there would be NO war! There would not be a need for war! Yeah, all in the name of god!
Toronto Film Festival Coming in October..
"Death of a President" in which the current president is killed by a terrorist. The movie uses actors and digital manipulation of real footage to create this work of fiction.
"The Prisoner, or: How I Tried to Kill Tony Blair" and "Dixie Chicks: Shut Up and Sing" accounts the difficulties they suffered after speaking bad of the president.
And this must see: "The U.S. Vs. John Lennon" is a documentary about the FBI's efforts to silent Lennon and have him deported.
"Bobby" is another film which cites the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy an era which an a time of peace and the beginning of political distrust.
Looks like some great viewing I will not want to miss especially "Death of a President"
"The Prisoner, or: How I Tried to Kill Tony Blair" and "Dixie Chicks: Shut Up and Sing" accounts the difficulties they suffered after speaking bad of the president.
And this must see: "The U.S. Vs. John Lennon" is a documentary about the FBI's efforts to silent Lennon and have him deported.
"Bobby" is another film which cites the assassination of Robert F. Kennedy an era which an a time of peace and the beginning of political distrust.
Looks like some great viewing I will not want to miss especially "Death of a President"
Sick
I'm sick! I have a bad cold or flu or something. I think it's getting better now. I am going to try to do some yoga positions now. I am usually very active; but not today so instead I'm medicating myself, nibbling and sleeping in front of the TV.
Clouds are forming and rain will be moving in soon. Alright! I love rainy cool days. I have my log rack all set up and ready for the fire wood man to get here soon. It's hard to believe that soon it will be October already.
Okay, I'm out of chips now so I guess I crawl on the floor next to my big lazy dog and watch recorded yoga shows. Oh, and of course, do the moves.
I am so fortunate that I do not have allergies..oh some sneezing but nothing bad. So, after I kick this I'll be ready to run. It seems weird not running every day now for a couple of days.
I have some weights here. I'll work out with them too. I went to the gym on Monday when I ran four miles there and back and while there worked out for about forty minutes.
Or maybe I'll take a nap first!
Clouds are forming and rain will be moving in soon. Alright! I love rainy cool days. I have my log rack all set up and ready for the fire wood man to get here soon. It's hard to believe that soon it will be October already.
Okay, I'm out of chips now so I guess I crawl on the floor next to my big lazy dog and watch recorded yoga shows. Oh, and of course, do the moves.
I am so fortunate that I do not have allergies..oh some sneezing but nothing bad. So, after I kick this I'll be ready to run. It seems weird not running every day now for a couple of days.
I have some weights here. I'll work out with them too. I went to the gym on Monday when I ran four miles there and back and while there worked out for about forty minutes.
Or maybe I'll take a nap first!
Thursday, September 21, 2006
I'm sick - ugh!
I've got a bad cold or flu or something and my dog keeps bugging the heck out of me! And it's hot in here!
Okay, I'm done with complaining now. I feel the nice breeze coming in the open patio door. I'm beat and heading to bed.
I'm so glad I didn't try to go out tonight. Ugh! I wouldn't have lasted thirty minutes. I'm beat and after to sit down after I walk Emma outside.
It's hot in here!
Okay, I'm done with the complaining already!
Okay, I'm done with complaining now. I feel the nice breeze coming in the open patio door. I'm beat and heading to bed.
I'm so glad I didn't try to go out tonight. Ugh! I wouldn't have lasted thirty minutes. I'm beat and after to sit down after I walk Emma outside.
It's hot in here!
Okay, I'm done with the complaining already!
Six Degrees
I just watched the season premier of Grey's Anatomy and 6 Degrees. The latter is so much more my type of show. We are all connected in six degrees like the Kevin Bacon game. Also everyone one way or another is connected to some person or some movie to Kevin Bacon. It's a most interesting game especially if you are into movies in great detail. I have friends that are genius at this but, I certainly am not!
Six degrees is a continued weekly story of how a small group of people come together and interconnect to aid one another. There is one prick! Boy is he a two timer. He's engaged to one woman and secretly dating others. He denied the real reason behind a personal dating ad he had on the interest and made silly excuses for it.
Personally, I don't think there is too much to Grey's Anatomy. It's just another heterosexual love story. Nothing good!
Six degrees is a continued weekly story of how a small group of people come together and interconnect to aid one another. There is one prick! Boy is he a two timer. He's engaged to one woman and secretly dating others. He denied the real reason behind a personal dating ad he had on the interest and made silly excuses for it.
Personally, I don't think there is too much to Grey's Anatomy. It's just another heterosexual love story. Nothing good!
She's a Piece of Work, Alright!
My Rottweiler acts more like four years old rather than fourteen. Remarkably, she climbs the steps to my second floor condo with ease for a 98 year old! She is very smart and I believe that she truly understands the English language; well, a lot of it.
When she soiled the living room carpet about a month ago; I scolded her as I was cleaning it up and told her, if you really have to go then go on the tile floor in the kitchen and I pointed to the kitchen floor. Well, last evening when I was busy in the bedroom I guess she had to go real bad and like the perfect dog she is, she went on the kitchen floor. I about stepped in it but was so glad she went in the kitchen and not on the living room floor. What a great dog! In all honesty I guess her jumping around earlier meant she had to go outside; but, she was just out, so, I didn't read her message correctly.
Oh, she's being good today since she thinks she chased my friend out of here last night! Which she didn't, actually, she was ready to leave anyway!
I just ate a late breakfast and my rotty didn't even beg for any of it; not that I give her any of mine. Oops! Spoke too soon. I'm eating bacon and eggs so I gave her a piece of her bacon from Purina.
I am so glad that I didn't have to scrub the living room carpet last night.
When she soiled the living room carpet about a month ago; I scolded her as I was cleaning it up and told her, if you really have to go then go on the tile floor in the kitchen and I pointed to the kitchen floor. Well, last evening when I was busy in the bedroom I guess she had to go real bad and like the perfect dog she is, she went on the kitchen floor. I about stepped in it but was so glad she went in the kitchen and not on the living room floor. What a great dog! In all honesty I guess her jumping around earlier meant she had to go outside; but, she was just out, so, I didn't read her message correctly.
Oh, she's being good today since she thinks she chased my friend out of here last night! Which she didn't, actually, she was ready to leave anyway!
I just ate a late breakfast and my rotty didn't even beg for any of it; not that I give her any of mine. Oops! Spoke too soon. I'm eating bacon and eggs so I gave her a piece of her bacon from Purina.
I am so glad that I didn't have to scrub the living room carpet last night.
Changing Times
Things are changing within me and fast and weird and strange and I'm just living one day at a time. Unbelievable!
This afternoon was fabulous. We had dinner. This is so - I don't know? I'm just taking things one day at a time.
Tomorrow FT's then the gardens. Now, I wish I could play golf instead! I already have a ticket I got in advance for the gardens. So, guess I'll go! Oh well! And I played so well last week, too!
I'm walking in the morning around the lake with a friend. I think that will be about it until FR in the evening. The change in the weather has effected my sinuses.
This afternoon was fabulous. We had dinner. This is so - I don't know? I'm just taking things one day at a time.
Tomorrow FT's then the gardens. Now, I wish I could play golf instead! I already have a ticket I got in advance for the gardens. So, guess I'll go! Oh well! And I played so well last week, too!
I'm walking in the morning around the lake with a friend. I think that will be about it until FR in the evening. The change in the weather has effected my sinuses.
Tuesday, September 19, 2006
Same Old Song...
but with a different meaning where you belong. Life is so amazing, people even more! Phase in, phase out like a steady pulse.
I'm so glad I get to see M tomorrow evening. She's another life saver who just popped up on the radar screen one day, each of us with the same needs looking for one another. We'll see where she takes me.
At this moment, after this evening, who knows. After this weekend, who knows? Been there seen that, done that again and again. Maybe a change would do me good!
Universe please watch out and take care of A. She's so young and pure of heart. Please don't let anyone hurt her. I hope her day goes well tomorrow and always. Thanks for the help with her cell problem. Now, just please keep her safe. She's just the sweetest thing. Please protect her. She's just adorable. It's such a shame to know that there are people out there who could care less and are just waiting to kick her around some. She says she's spoiled. Trust me, with a heart of gold she's not spoiled. She knows to appreciate. She even sounded as if she felt guilty being spoiled as a kid. In some ways she reminds me so much of myself, I think that's why I pray for her safety - and it works too!
I think A is the most intelligent I've seen in a long time. For intelligence being such an important issue, some people do not sound too intelligent. Seems they just follow the loudest emptiest sounds they hear. Too bad! Seems that cute, quiet and sweet doesn't buy you much! Maybe that's why I'm a little sad for her. I know how her heart feels. But she is doing a great job. She's out there keeping busy. She is precious and has a lot to offer. Please protect her heart - for me too. We our both "sweet and nice" so we were told. That's a nice compliment.
I imagine M goes through a lot of the same things - blank faces when you tell them what you have achieved. It's the "are you from Venue?" look. We both have a lot of life behind us and so much more to experience.
Time to go to sleep and dream about tomorrow afternoon!
I'll protect the precious things in my life from questions and wonder. What I have is mine alone to cherish.
I'm so glad I get to see M tomorrow evening. She's another life saver who just popped up on the radar screen one day, each of us with the same needs looking for one another. We'll see where she takes me.
At this moment, after this evening, who knows. After this weekend, who knows? Been there seen that, done that again and again. Maybe a change would do me good!
Universe please watch out and take care of A. She's so young and pure of heart. Please don't let anyone hurt her. I hope her day goes well tomorrow and always. Thanks for the help with her cell problem. Now, just please keep her safe. She's just the sweetest thing. Please protect her. She's just adorable. It's such a shame to know that there are people out there who could care less and are just waiting to kick her around some. She says she's spoiled. Trust me, with a heart of gold she's not spoiled. She knows to appreciate. She even sounded as if she felt guilty being spoiled as a kid. In some ways she reminds me so much of myself, I think that's why I pray for her safety - and it works too!
I think A is the most intelligent I've seen in a long time. For intelligence being such an important issue, some people do not sound too intelligent. Seems they just follow the loudest emptiest sounds they hear. Too bad! Seems that cute, quiet and sweet doesn't buy you much! Maybe that's why I'm a little sad for her. I know how her heart feels. But she is doing a great job. She's out there keeping busy. She is precious and has a lot to offer. Please protect her heart - for me too. We our both "sweet and nice" so we were told. That's a nice compliment.
I imagine M goes through a lot of the same things - blank faces when you tell them what you have achieved. It's the "are you from Venue?" look. We both have a lot of life behind us and so much more to experience.
Time to go to sleep and dream about tomorrow afternoon!
I'll protect the precious things in my life from questions and wonder. What I have is mine alone to cherish.
Darn, she can't come until tomorrow now...
I missed her this afternoon, but she is coming tomorrow. And what a beautiful afternoon it is; actually pretty chilly.
I ran four to the gym worked out about forty minutes on the weight machines and I ran back home the same way yesterday. I was a little achy last night but think that I am fighting off something. Today I did about an hour of yoga and took a long walk to get some fruit and vegtables. I could take a nap, but it's about time to get ready to meet the group to run in the park. I feel like eating something, but I can't except for my Accel Gel protein suff.
I am learning new things each day and life and people truly amaze me. I can tell that I grew up pretty much in solitude confinement because I pretty much rely on myself to do and get things I want done. People and couples amaze me.
It seems that when I was the half of a couple I pretty much did double the stuff, back tracked, gave up power and things I like to do. I took the backseat. I lost myself. After a few years most of my possessions were in my room so I knew where they would be. I lost things in the rest of the house. Who was making me more unhappy her or family. She is very family orientated with her family; I was not with mind. She was a great cushion but she didn't like to visit them either. After a short time visiting her eyes began to roll and her head did this flipping them towards the direction of the front door. Is that where my rotty gets that from; she doesn't roll her eyes (yet) but she does a dance and jerks her head when she is ready to leave someone we are visiting.
I wonder if my partner and I would have been more sexually active, if that would have made a difference? We were not affectionate in public or private either. There were times when she hugged me when I was going through some therapy and stuff with my family. My family did not have a clue. I was past the point of trying to work things out with them. They were just cold and cruel most of my life. Non-affectionate. My heart only hurt all of my young life.
D my 05SL saved my life; T before her! Now M is wonderful! The ache in my heart is extremely weakened by her love making. Wow! Sometimes I can't breath when I think of it and us together. We somehow came together because both of us had been without for so long.
So can't do a relationship. I really don't want one. I love my freedom. The moment I left the cabin after the weekend I felt a sense of freedom drving down the highway with my kayak. All my stuff together. I didn't have to double check or run back and forth to make sure I had everything. I had everything. The universe was with me. Besides I have my loves in my life. I have my new "family" familes.
I have M to hold me for as long as it works for both of us. It's that special something we both need and look forward too.
I ran four to the gym worked out about forty minutes on the weight machines and I ran back home the same way yesterday. I was a little achy last night but think that I am fighting off something. Today I did about an hour of yoga and took a long walk to get some fruit and vegtables. I could take a nap, but it's about time to get ready to meet the group to run in the park. I feel like eating something, but I can't except for my Accel Gel protein suff.
I am learning new things each day and life and people truly amaze me. I can tell that I grew up pretty much in solitude confinement because I pretty much rely on myself to do and get things I want done. People and couples amaze me.
It seems that when I was the half of a couple I pretty much did double the stuff, back tracked, gave up power and things I like to do. I took the backseat. I lost myself. After a few years most of my possessions were in my room so I knew where they would be. I lost things in the rest of the house. Who was making me more unhappy her or family. She is very family orientated with her family; I was not with mind. She was a great cushion but she didn't like to visit them either. After a short time visiting her eyes began to roll and her head did this flipping them towards the direction of the front door. Is that where my rotty gets that from; she doesn't roll her eyes (yet) but she does a dance and jerks her head when she is ready to leave someone we are visiting.
I wonder if my partner and I would have been more sexually active, if that would have made a difference? We were not affectionate in public or private either. There were times when she hugged me when I was going through some therapy and stuff with my family. My family did not have a clue. I was past the point of trying to work things out with them. They were just cold and cruel most of my life. Non-affectionate. My heart only hurt all of my young life.
D my 05SL saved my life; T before her! Now M is wonderful! The ache in my heart is extremely weakened by her love making. Wow! Sometimes I can't breath when I think of it and us together. We somehow came together because both of us had been without for so long.
So can't do a relationship. I really don't want one. I love my freedom. The moment I left the cabin after the weekend I felt a sense of freedom drving down the highway with my kayak. All my stuff together. I didn't have to double check or run back and forth to make sure I had everything. I had everything. The universe was with me. Besides I have my loves in my life. I have my new "family" familes.
I have M to hold me for as long as it works for both of us. It's that special something we both need and look forward too.
Another Great Horoscope for Today..
September 19, 2006 A Voyage Of SensationLibra Daily Horoscope
You may feel hyperaware today, enthralled by sensations that might once have evoked nothing more than momentary notice. The electric ecstasy you experience when confronted by nature’s simple symmetry can mirror what you feel when viewing scenes of extraordinary beauty. Likewise, scents, tastes, sounds, and physical sensations can all seem more real and more intense than usual to you. This can be a wonderful time to listen to music, try unfamiliar ethnic dishes, dance, visit a museum, or admire the graceful sprawl of the architecture in your community. Objects that might otherwise seem commonplace can delight and titillate you today as you strive to broaden the range of your already heightened awareness and lose yourself in everyday pleasures.
I have a feeling today will be magical! Even more intense? Wow!
You may feel hyperaware today, enthralled by sensations that might once have evoked nothing more than momentary notice. The electric ecstasy you experience when confronted by nature’s simple symmetry can mirror what you feel when viewing scenes of extraordinary beauty. Likewise, scents, tastes, sounds, and physical sensations can all seem more real and more intense than usual to you. This can be a wonderful time to listen to music, try unfamiliar ethnic dishes, dance, visit a museum, or admire the graceful sprawl of the architecture in your community. Objects that might otherwise seem commonplace can delight and titillate you today as you strive to broaden the range of your already heightened awareness and lose yourself in everyday pleasures.
I have a feeling today will be magical! Even more intense? Wow!
Wow! Now This Horoscope is Magical!
She is coming to see me today, this afternoon...
September 19 Love blossoms today as communication with your beloved is enhanced by an increased understanding on both your parts, dear Libra. You feel more at ease in each other's presence and project a united front in the company of others. At some point both of you will probably go out with a group of friends. Expect some exciting and fascinating discussions with the others, which you'll probably continue once you're alone together. Have fun!
Wow! What a horoscope - it's magical! I guess I'll have to wait and see what happens next. I can create my day all right. But, I like to leave the magical moments up to the universe.
After all, it was the universe which brought us together united us by the same prayer. She and I both prayed for the same thing - each other. We just didn't know it!
I'm sure her weekend physical event went fine with love on her mind.
We came together because of a mutual need. I think neither of us want a relationship. She was just in one and still in one, as friends. Her friend was upset because she wouldn't come live with her. I guess she felt it was time to take the relationship to the next level, well one of them did.
She prayed for me and I prayed for her. Now, we'll see what our prayers (the universe) has in store for us. If I can, and I can create my day, I would like to keep the relationship about right where it is. I so need my freedom now.
September 19 Love blossoms today as communication with your beloved is enhanced by an increased understanding on both your parts, dear Libra. You feel more at ease in each other's presence and project a united front in the company of others. At some point both of you will probably go out with a group of friends. Expect some exciting and fascinating discussions with the others, which you'll probably continue once you're alone together. Have fun!
Wow! What a horoscope - it's magical! I guess I'll have to wait and see what happens next. I can create my day all right. But, I like to leave the magical moments up to the universe.
After all, it was the universe which brought us together united us by the same prayer. She and I both prayed for the same thing - each other. We just didn't know it!
I'm sure her weekend physical event went fine with love on her mind.
We came together because of a mutual need. I think neither of us want a relationship. She was just in one and still in one, as friends. Her friend was upset because she wouldn't come live with her. I guess she felt it was time to take the relationship to the next level, well one of them did.
She prayed for me and I prayed for her. Now, we'll see what our prayers (the universe) has in store for us. If I can, and I can create my day, I would like to keep the relationship about right where it is. I so need my freedom now.
Monday, September 18, 2006
"Crash" the movie review at Carol's
was fun! I borrowed the movie from John and watched the DVD Thursday evening. Half way through I realized that I had seen most of the movie before.
I cried when the father talked so sweetly to his little five year old daughter who was afraid and hiding under the bed. I cried more when he gave her the invisible cloak and tied it around her neck and lifted her hair ever so gently. My dad was an asshole!
The painful way he held his mouth open when he thought she was shot as she jumped into his arms to protect him made me cry even more. I felt this father's love - in a movie for only minutes on the screen. I never felt any love from my father. Oh maybe twice. One time he put air in my bicycle tires. I was so afraid to ask him; but my mother insisted I ask him not her for me. I was afraid of him. And another time when I was smaller yet, he fixed me some sugar water to settle my upset stomach and I sipped on it and felt better. Those two times! There were no hugs are kisses when I was little from either parent or grandparents. My heart hurt most of the time and I didn't really know why.
I have finally broke away from them; all of them. I am free - so free and I love it. And since I have know T, D, A (I love her) and now M my heart doesn't hurt anymore.
After last week lying with M my heart is healed. I hope to see her tomorrow and the next week. Universe help me out and make it work for the healing within both of us. I know she hurts too. She said I was heaven sent! See, I have a purpose after all.
I could tell she was hurting when she and I were talking. God, she looked me over and talked to me for a long time. I'm glad we hooked up. I'm glad I called her. I was praying nothing would happen to either one of us before she got here; before we had a chance to be together. It was heaven! Pure heaven! I can't wait to see her tomorrow.
No, I really don't want anything more. I don't really want a more involved relationship. I was just in a fifteen year relationship. She was in a long relationship. We'll be fine for now, being together for each other. Personally, I don't want it to end. And I don't want our lives to become enmeshed.
I love my freedom! It's only going to get in the 60's today, maybe I'll have soup ready for us and salad.
I cried when the father talked so sweetly to his little five year old daughter who was afraid and hiding under the bed. I cried more when he gave her the invisible cloak and tied it around her neck and lifted her hair ever so gently. My dad was an asshole!
The painful way he held his mouth open when he thought she was shot as she jumped into his arms to protect him made me cry even more. I felt this father's love - in a movie for only minutes on the screen. I never felt any love from my father. Oh maybe twice. One time he put air in my bicycle tires. I was so afraid to ask him; but my mother insisted I ask him not her for me. I was afraid of him. And another time when I was smaller yet, he fixed me some sugar water to settle my upset stomach and I sipped on it and felt better. Those two times! There were no hugs are kisses when I was little from either parent or grandparents. My heart hurt most of the time and I didn't really know why.
I have finally broke away from them; all of them. I am free - so free and I love it. And since I have know T, D, A (I love her) and now M my heart doesn't hurt anymore.
After last week lying with M my heart is healed. I hope to see her tomorrow and the next week. Universe help me out and make it work for the healing within both of us. I know she hurts too. She said I was heaven sent! See, I have a purpose after all.
I could tell she was hurting when she and I were talking. God, she looked me over and talked to me for a long time. I'm glad we hooked up. I'm glad I called her. I was praying nothing would happen to either one of us before she got here; before we had a chance to be together. It was heaven! Pure heaven! I can't wait to see her tomorrow.
No, I really don't want anything more. I don't really want a more involved relationship. I was just in a fifteen year relationship. She was in a long relationship. We'll be fine for now, being together for each other. Personally, I don't want it to end. And I don't want our lives to become enmeshed.
I love my freedom! It's only going to get in the 60's today, maybe I'll have soup ready for us and salad.
See, I knew I had a purpose!
Well, I finally got that run in today. I ran four miles to the gym then worked out for about 40 minutes, then ran back home the same way. It felt great! Now I'm going to do some yoga positions; but, first I need to vacuum up dog hair!
I then want to read the book, M gave me. I must remember tomorrow to give her the medal she gave me back. She earned it; I didn't! She needs it back! I hope I don't hurt her feelings but she deserves it not me.
She's very nice! She was just hurting that's all when she gave it to me. She felt bad, I guess that she had so many. I don't know. She thought I should have gotten a medal that there should have been a third place I guess. I felt that way the year I won second place. I felt D's age group should have had another position so she could have won. And she would have won too. Anyway, D was a winner to me! Everyone liked her. At times I miss her; I hope she is doing well! She was wonderful to me and helped me so much in every way when I needed help most last June 2005 and beyond!
Okay, I have things I need to do....first vacuum then yoga. It will be a beautiful evening the air is crystal clear and in the 70's. It will get down into the fifties tonight. It's hard to believe that it is fall already. My birthday Sunday!
Hell, it's only a number. I'm getting younger and more gorgeous everyday. I am and free too; I merely wish for it! According to "What the Bleep do we know" and J Z Knight, we are all gods. The power lies within each and every one of us to be able to create our days. Hey, I got sex didn't I!
Now, I will be getting my 30's back. You see, I missed out of my 30's because of ignorant society, church, family and the stupid government who uses homosexuals as mere distractions from the "real" issues. The media does their bidding and makes a mockery of us. We are created without fault or failure. We are the universe's creatures. Actually, we are spiritual being who have come to earth to learn (and personally, I think for sex). Anyway!
I think I got the message! And the message is forget organized religion they only want you to break the rules so they can "fix" you for a fee. Everything on earth has a price you know!
But here's is what I'm finding and that is that there are so many ignorant spirits on earth. I guess they are ignorant or evil. Well, they are men, so what do you expect! Men are always in pursuit to conquer someone or something. It's a dog eat dog man's world out there.
Do you see women starting wars over stupid shit, like he hit me or took my soldiers. It's all stupid bullshit and Ford has never learned how to make a decence vehicle. There, now you know how I really feel. Yes, the Ford motor company lives in the past! Who thinks of this dumb shit? And why so godly huge? Why are they such gas guzzlers. Oh I know, Ford is in cahoots with the oil companies. I guess Ford is in cahoots with the insurance companies too because they paint their windows black so you can't see through them and the vehicles are so dumb ass big that you can't see around them to back out of a parking spot...so you get in a accident and the insurance company raises your premiums.
So, auto, oil and insurance are ripping us off. Oh and so is big business because they are shipping all the good paying jobs overseas for the people in India to do. And you know everything is made in China for years now at next to no cost to big corporations so the big shot CEOs can compete with each other and see who can make the most billions of dollars.
Gee, just how much do you need before you get sick of it. Oh those little dick old white boys with white hair and blue dick tips will never get too much money. It's like Viagra for the brain! Boy, the pharmaceutical companies were thinking when they came up with that one and insurance pays for it too. Did you know most insurance companies; however, do not pay for birth controls pills. Yeah, let's screw the women in more ways from Sunday, then we can think of. Let's keep them in their place. Let's bully them and pay them less of a salary for the same job done the same way, and even better then their male counterparts.
Let's make all the school administrators little dick, dumb head, short white men who are clueless. Yeah let's give them all the good jobs. Hell, women don't need a good job, they are not heads of households! Oh yes they are! But whose counting - certainly not the little dicks.
Oh hell, let's start a war for oil. Well, how are we going to get the war started. Oh, I know. let's blow up a big building or two and kill about three thousand people. How we gonna do that asked the dumb shit from Texas. Oh, I know. We have all kinds of deals with the Saudis they'll do it for us. Okay! And then we'll blame it on Saddam Hussein and go after him. So what if daddy Bush supplies him with nuclear weapons in the 80's so he could go after Iran.
We want control of the oil fields so what if there is collateral damage! It's for the almighty buck. We have to get the most profit from the Middle East oil fields that we can and we have to keep control of them. Gee, we sure don't hear much about the Saudis lately do we as they buy up half this country. The Japanese already own much of Hawaii.
I predict China would love to come over here and buy up land and buildings. They are running out of land and have limits on how many children they can have. Here they can have has many children as they like. Bush needs the tax base for war and debts we already owe to China and Japan. They have bailed us out so many times. Oh enough of these idiots why waste my time and mind thinking about how evil they all are. It's all about greed! Can't we just love one another? Love! Let's see that reminds me..
Hopefully, M is still planning on coming to see me tomorrow. I sure hope so. Sometimes, I can't breath when I think of us; how wonderful it was and how wonderful it will be. It had been a very long time for both of us. For her longer, I think! The universe put us together at that biathlon. The first thing I requested after the universe helped me ride my bicycle over the finish line with a flat I was riding on for the last ten miles was - sex. I want sex now I begged. I was going nuts!
I talked to her then and in the course of the conversation she indicated her similar state of lack of affairs you could say! I thought about it over night and called her at work the next day..she came over that afternoon! It was wonderful! She said heaven sent me! See, I knew I had a purpose! I HAVE A PURPOSE!
See, I do have a purpose! Anyone else need me? A, how about you. You are as sweet and cute and precious to me as can be. I can't wait to see you tomorrow evening. If you need me, please let me know.
And how about T? Is she doing well? Or does she need me too? I think of her often and hope she is happy and loved. I'm sure she is. It just seemed she and I cliched. I think of her often, if thinking and dreaming and wishing are prayers then she is doing okay without me - damn! But understandable! There was just something in everything about her. I just loved her so! Maybe I'll watch the video again.. I'm not telling you what video! You don't need to know. Let's just put it this way. Anyone can watch it!
You know that was another magical moment in my life and the universe practically spoke to me directly that evening. I had recorded her in a medical show but I inadvertently erased it. For a very long moment I was very upset. But, the intuitively I knew I would catch a better episode with her in it all the more. And you know what? As I was thinking this. I saw another recorded show come on and heard her voice. And in a moment I saw her! My heart jumped. She was featured as the main person throughout the whole show. She was fabulous and had an all woman team. God love her! What a wonderful thing. I have it recorded video's and it came on again since I moved here. So I have it again if I need a fix.
Yes, the universe works with us. Or do we create our realities. Did I put her in my life? Did I put D, A, and now M in my life because I needed them there? I believe that I did! I do believe it's a mutual need. So, I don't think that I have seen the last of T yet either.
I love this stuff! I love creating my day and watching it unfold and as it does, looking for magical moments to convince me that I can truly plan my day; that I have the power! The power lies within people! Think it and be it! You must believe in yourself and never give up that belief. I am becoming younger looking all the time. Why, well as Clinton once said. "Because I can!" when asked why he had relations with that woman! Oh, that was after he came clean about the lie! It's natural for a man to lie the first time you ask them something about cheating..
I then want to read the book, M gave me. I must remember tomorrow to give her the medal she gave me back. She earned it; I didn't! She needs it back! I hope I don't hurt her feelings but she deserves it not me.
She's very nice! She was just hurting that's all when she gave it to me. She felt bad, I guess that she had so many. I don't know. She thought I should have gotten a medal that there should have been a third place I guess. I felt that way the year I won second place. I felt D's age group should have had another position so she could have won. And she would have won too. Anyway, D was a winner to me! Everyone liked her. At times I miss her; I hope she is doing well! She was wonderful to me and helped me so much in every way when I needed help most last June 2005 and beyond!
Okay, I have things I need to do....first vacuum then yoga. It will be a beautiful evening the air is crystal clear and in the 70's. It will get down into the fifties tonight. It's hard to believe that it is fall already. My birthday Sunday!
Hell, it's only a number. I'm getting younger and more gorgeous everyday. I am and free too; I merely wish for it! According to "What the Bleep do we know" and J Z Knight, we are all gods. The power lies within each and every one of us to be able to create our days. Hey, I got sex didn't I!
Now, I will be getting my 30's back. You see, I missed out of my 30's because of ignorant society, church, family and the stupid government who uses homosexuals as mere distractions from the "real" issues. The media does their bidding and makes a mockery of us. We are created without fault or failure. We are the universe's creatures. Actually, we are spiritual being who have come to earth to learn (and personally, I think for sex). Anyway!
I think I got the message! And the message is forget organized religion they only want you to break the rules so they can "fix" you for a fee. Everything on earth has a price you know!
But here's is what I'm finding and that is that there are so many ignorant spirits on earth. I guess they are ignorant or evil. Well, they are men, so what do you expect! Men are always in pursuit to conquer someone or something. It's a dog eat dog man's world out there.
Do you see women starting wars over stupid shit, like he hit me or took my soldiers. It's all stupid bullshit and Ford has never learned how to make a decence vehicle. There, now you know how I really feel. Yes, the Ford motor company lives in the past! Who thinks of this dumb shit? And why so godly huge? Why are they such gas guzzlers. Oh I know, Ford is in cahoots with the oil companies. I guess Ford is in cahoots with the insurance companies too because they paint their windows black so you can't see through them and the vehicles are so dumb ass big that you can't see around them to back out of a parking spot...so you get in a accident and the insurance company raises your premiums.
So, auto, oil and insurance are ripping us off. Oh and so is big business because they are shipping all the good paying jobs overseas for the people in India to do. And you know everything is made in China for years now at next to no cost to big corporations so the big shot CEOs can compete with each other and see who can make the most billions of dollars.
Gee, just how much do you need before you get sick of it. Oh those little dick old white boys with white hair and blue dick tips will never get too much money. It's like Viagra for the brain! Boy, the pharmaceutical companies were thinking when they came up with that one and insurance pays for it too. Did you know most insurance companies; however, do not pay for birth controls pills. Yeah, let's screw the women in more ways from Sunday, then we can think of. Let's keep them in their place. Let's bully them and pay them less of a salary for the same job done the same way, and even better then their male counterparts.
Let's make all the school administrators little dick, dumb head, short white men who are clueless. Yeah let's give them all the good jobs. Hell, women don't need a good job, they are not heads of households! Oh yes they are! But whose counting - certainly not the little dicks.
Oh hell, let's start a war for oil. Well, how are we going to get the war started. Oh, I know. let's blow up a big building or two and kill about three thousand people. How we gonna do that asked the dumb shit from Texas. Oh, I know. We have all kinds of deals with the Saudis they'll do it for us. Okay! And then we'll blame it on Saddam Hussein and go after him. So what if daddy Bush supplies him with nuclear weapons in the 80's so he could go after Iran.
We want control of the oil fields so what if there is collateral damage! It's for the almighty buck. We have to get the most profit from the Middle East oil fields that we can and we have to keep control of them. Gee, we sure don't hear much about the Saudis lately do we as they buy up half this country. The Japanese already own much of Hawaii.
I predict China would love to come over here and buy up land and buildings. They are running out of land and have limits on how many children they can have. Here they can have has many children as they like. Bush needs the tax base for war and debts we already owe to China and Japan. They have bailed us out so many times. Oh enough of these idiots why waste my time and mind thinking about how evil they all are. It's all about greed! Can't we just love one another? Love! Let's see that reminds me..
Hopefully, M is still planning on coming to see me tomorrow. I sure hope so. Sometimes, I can't breath when I think of us; how wonderful it was and how wonderful it will be. It had been a very long time for both of us. For her longer, I think! The universe put us together at that biathlon. The first thing I requested after the universe helped me ride my bicycle over the finish line with a flat I was riding on for the last ten miles was - sex. I want sex now I begged. I was going nuts!
I talked to her then and in the course of the conversation she indicated her similar state of lack of affairs you could say! I thought about it over night and called her at work the next day..she came over that afternoon! It was wonderful! She said heaven sent me! See, I knew I had a purpose! I HAVE A PURPOSE!
See, I do have a purpose! Anyone else need me? A, how about you. You are as sweet and cute and precious to me as can be. I can't wait to see you tomorrow evening. If you need me, please let me know.
And how about T? Is she doing well? Or does she need me too? I think of her often and hope she is happy and loved. I'm sure she is. It just seemed she and I cliched. I think of her often, if thinking and dreaming and wishing are prayers then she is doing okay without me - damn! But understandable! There was just something in everything about her. I just loved her so! Maybe I'll watch the video again.. I'm not telling you what video! You don't need to know. Let's just put it this way. Anyone can watch it!
You know that was another magical moment in my life and the universe practically spoke to me directly that evening. I had recorded her in a medical show but I inadvertently erased it. For a very long moment I was very upset. But, the intuitively I knew I would catch a better episode with her in it all the more. And you know what? As I was thinking this. I saw another recorded show come on and heard her voice. And in a moment I saw her! My heart jumped. She was featured as the main person throughout the whole show. She was fabulous and had an all woman team. God love her! What a wonderful thing. I have it recorded video's and it came on again since I moved here. So I have it again if I need a fix.
Yes, the universe works with us. Or do we create our realities. Did I put her in my life? Did I put D, A, and now M in my life because I needed them there? I believe that I did! I do believe it's a mutual need. So, I don't think that I have seen the last of T yet either.
I love this stuff! I love creating my day and watching it unfold and as it does, looking for magical moments to convince me that I can truly plan my day; that I have the power! The power lies within people! Think it and be it! You must believe in yourself and never give up that belief. I am becoming younger looking all the time. Why, well as Clinton once said. "Because I can!" when asked why he had relations with that woman! Oh, that was after he came clean about the lie! It's natural for a man to lie the first time you ask them something about cheating..
Get Moving!
I need to get my butt out there and go for a run!
Ooh, the neighbor girl is cute! I love this neighborhood! I sure like living here and seeing all of these cute things, so independent, working and calling the shots! Why get tied up with these guys; find a nice woman! Anyway, can't change your orientation, I know that. You can experiment and just "get off" but you can't change your orientation. Bottom line: it's where your heart is!
Anyway! My Ex is trying to decide. Well, it's been decided for her - but she has to do the work! Of course it's easy to say scrape the popcorn off the ceiling. Even the guys are saying it's very hard to do! She won't be able to do this I know. She's not that strong! And her girlfriend says - it should come down but she isn't offering to help do it!
Why in the world my ex listens to half these people, I'll never know! She has good intuition! She should use her gut feeling! It makes me mad in a way when people offer their beneign, unknowing-the-true-facts opinions and are not planning to help do the work! Put your money where your mouth is - what ever happened to that? Anyway, it just makes me mad when people pipe up and think they fucking know everything without doing any research! I"m getting on the internet right now and doing the research
Ooh, the neighbor girl is cute! I love this neighborhood! I sure like living here and seeing all of these cute things, so independent, working and calling the shots! Why get tied up with these guys; find a nice woman! Anyway, can't change your orientation, I know that. You can experiment and just "get off" but you can't change your orientation. Bottom line: it's where your heart is!
Anyway! My Ex is trying to decide. Well, it's been decided for her - but she has to do the work! Of course it's easy to say scrape the popcorn off the ceiling. Even the guys are saying it's very hard to do! She won't be able to do this I know. She's not that strong! And her girlfriend says - it should come down but she isn't offering to help do it!
Why in the world my ex listens to half these people, I'll never know! She has good intuition! She should use her gut feeling! It makes me mad in a way when people offer their beneign, unknowing-the-true-facts opinions and are not planning to help do the work! Put your money where your mouth is - what ever happened to that? Anyway, it just makes me mad when people pipe up and think they fucking know everything without doing any research! I"m getting on the internet right now and doing the research
Sunday, September 17, 2006
WHY SO HUMID?
It's cool enough, but you sure can't tell with the thick air and humidity! I'd rather it be raining; might as well be! It will rain more I know. It's 72 degrees with 93 percent humidity. I have to have the air on and I hate it! Maybe I'll turn it off!
Tomorrow's forecast calls for more of the same! Here is my plan for tomorrow. Maybe I'll run before it rains? I know I want to workout on the weight machines. Possibly, more like, probably do yoga and then I want to play my guitar and work on playing and knowing more songs by heart.
When I played the other night L asked if playing in front of people bothered me and I said it doesn't when I can't see them. We were sitting around a campfire and I had little battery powered reading lights attached to my music stand so I could see my notes.
Tomorrow my day will be magical because I will be planning and cleaning and waiting for Tuesday when my friend comes to visit!
I think I missed my condo while I was gone. I love my solitude and individuality. I know where everything is when I pack it; I don't have to discuss and ask so many questions. Ge-eh! These couples practically wipe each other's butts. No I'm kidding! But there is just so much em messing in the community with the couples. It's like, Jesus! Everything is a question. For example: A couple together for more than ten years: One asked the other "Do you want the center or edge piece?" Like you don't know by now?
I don't know maybe I'm weird, maybe I did the exact same thing in my 15 years relationship. I find myself doing about the same even though we moved our relationship to a "friends" status. We were always friends! The most important thing is that we have a mutual respect for one another. She respects my judgement and I love that and I respect hers and her moral support. She is my family! She is my only family! She has my deepest respect and support in all she does. We both have grown through the years. Actually, I think that I am in higher standing now, even more so than before! You can't beat that!
I need to go to sleep now! I thank the universe for all of my blessings and I thank the universe for all of my loves blessings too in case they forget to thank you. Please keep them and me safe, happy, loved, wise and wealthy! Please let them intuitively know and realize that I love them; each and every one. Especially, T, A, D, L, and M mostly because it's physical!
However I plan my tomorrow in the morning, please show me something magical so I am encouraged to plan the next day and the day after!
Funny, no magical, how after I crossed the finish line (being very grateful) of my biathlon, I prayed for sex to happen very soon. It had been near a year - or some it seems. Well, that sex plead was another within twenty-four hours amazingly enough!
We must only believe that we are magical, brilliant and special and deserve these blessings and what our dreams unfold. For you see, we do actually plan our days and get the people we need into our lives.
Talk about magical! I'm looking younger all of the time! People are amazed when they hear my age. Remember sixty is the new thirty; okay, forty!
I feel thirty, my bones are of a thirty year old! I am loving life and my new found youthfulness which I always knew was there? She will love me and want me too, that young one. I will do nothing to hurt her; she just wants to be loved and feel fulfilled if only for an evening or when her heart aches. Then she should venture back out there and I'll watch and pray from a distance.
Tomorrow's forecast calls for more of the same! Here is my plan for tomorrow. Maybe I'll run before it rains? I know I want to workout on the weight machines. Possibly, more like, probably do yoga and then I want to play my guitar and work on playing and knowing more songs by heart.
When I played the other night L asked if playing in front of people bothered me and I said it doesn't when I can't see them. We were sitting around a campfire and I had little battery powered reading lights attached to my music stand so I could see my notes.
Tomorrow my day will be magical because I will be planning and cleaning and waiting for Tuesday when my friend comes to visit!
I think I missed my condo while I was gone. I love my solitude and individuality. I know where everything is when I pack it; I don't have to discuss and ask so many questions. Ge-eh! These couples practically wipe each other's butts. No I'm kidding! But there is just so much em messing in the community with the couples. It's like, Jesus! Everything is a question. For example: A couple together for more than ten years: One asked the other "Do you want the center or edge piece?" Like you don't know by now?
I don't know maybe I'm weird, maybe I did the exact same thing in my 15 years relationship. I find myself doing about the same even though we moved our relationship to a "friends" status. We were always friends! The most important thing is that we have a mutual respect for one another. She respects my judgement and I love that and I respect hers and her moral support. She is my family! She is my only family! She has my deepest respect and support in all she does. We both have grown through the years. Actually, I think that I am in higher standing now, even more so than before! You can't beat that!
I need to go to sleep now! I thank the universe for all of my blessings and I thank the universe for all of my loves blessings too in case they forget to thank you. Please keep them and me safe, happy, loved, wise and wealthy! Please let them intuitively know and realize that I love them; each and every one. Especially, T, A, D, L, and M mostly because it's physical!
However I plan my tomorrow in the morning, please show me something magical so I am encouraged to plan the next day and the day after!
Funny, no magical, how after I crossed the finish line (being very grateful) of my biathlon, I prayed for sex to happen very soon. It had been near a year - or some it seems. Well, that sex plead was another within twenty-four hours amazingly enough!
We must only believe that we are magical, brilliant and special and deserve these blessings and what our dreams unfold. For you see, we do actually plan our days and get the people we need into our lives.
Talk about magical! I'm looking younger all of the time! People are amazed when they hear my age. Remember sixty is the new thirty; okay, forty!
I feel thirty, my bones are of a thirty year old! I am loving life and my new found youthfulness which I always knew was there? She will love me and want me too, that young one. I will do nothing to hurt her; she just wants to be loved and feel fulfilled if only for an evening or when her heart aches. Then she should venture back out there and I'll watch and pray from a distance.
A Magical Float!
I guess I should be editing my last two entries because I just reread them and found numerous mistakes. I'll do it later! I feel like writing right now. I love to write.
Writing is such a journey of discovery. I may start out thinking I will write about one then but then at times it turns into some totally different subject. Either way, it is still a journey of discovery; a discovery about what truly lies beneath my fragile surface. And I am fragile! I am sensitive. I did not know up bickering and arguing although my brother certainly tried all the time to pick a fight by pulling tricks or just down right punching me. I was abused physically, emotionally and mentally by the whole family. Oh that's just normal childhood stuff. No, I don't think so. I was raised by a bunch of cruel, cold blooded kraut heads.
I'm tired! I ran the last two morning down at the river bend around the rocky roads where the copperheads crawl. Yes, it was a little creepy at times!
The river was great both days that we floated. The water was clear, flowing and not all that crowded as people stopped to play and hang out along the river.
Both days were sunny with mid temperatures but we played in the water more the second day. We floated down the river on flotation devices. What fun!
The float trip was magical in many ways. I sang and played my guitar Friday evening for the first time. I really didn't mention singing and playing to any one so I guess some were quit surprised. Lou is a greatest fan and moral supporter. She encourages me. She really wants me to sing and play and even help me get set up. They all said they enjoyed it! I tried not to go on so long just about forty minutes. So, it was a fun first! In years past I sang and some would tell me that I had a good voice. Well, this year I purchased an amp and mic and surprised everyone with my equipment. So it was fun!
I tried not to hog the time or attention; so only played about forty minutes. It was all very magical. And they all enjoyed the little plastic pint size Margaritas I had along in my kayak. And Saturday evening M made award winning Margaritas from scratch. Superb!
At night alone in bed I thought about people who are very special to me. T, D, M and myself! I think I had a T spotting on Thursday as I was pulling out and onto the main street from where I live. I know it was her! I looked at her because I felt her eyes just as I did many times in the past. I love her! I hope in her heart she knows that; somehow we have a heartfelt spiritual connection. I intuitively know this to be true! I wished to see her the other day because I missed her. I think one day we will secretly be very intimate and fulfill a mutual dream. We'll be fine! It's only love; the most natural thing there is. Why do you think spiritual beings want so badly to come into human form? So, we can feel the wonderful human sensations that keep us connected - spiritually.
And then I thought about D and how she tries and does the best she can. I will always love her; my 05SL. I wish her the very best!
And then I thought of my new lover and prayed for her success with her sport endeavor on Saturday. I believe that there is a hold lot tied up there; she is very driven for some reason. Some day I'm sure I'll hear all about it in front of the fire when it's cold outside. I'll hear it during an afternoon meeting.
I hear and saw a mutual need and desire when we spoke and so I followed up on it daringly as it was. She responded in Olympic fashion.
Writing is such a journey of discovery. I may start out thinking I will write about one then but then at times it turns into some totally different subject. Either way, it is still a journey of discovery; a discovery about what truly lies beneath my fragile surface. And I am fragile! I am sensitive. I did not know up bickering and arguing although my brother certainly tried all the time to pick a fight by pulling tricks or just down right punching me. I was abused physically, emotionally and mentally by the whole family. Oh that's just normal childhood stuff. No, I don't think so. I was raised by a bunch of cruel, cold blooded kraut heads.
I'm tired! I ran the last two morning down at the river bend around the rocky roads where the copperheads crawl. Yes, it was a little creepy at times!
The river was great both days that we floated. The water was clear, flowing and not all that crowded as people stopped to play and hang out along the river.
Both days were sunny with mid temperatures but we played in the water more the second day. We floated down the river on flotation devices. What fun!
The float trip was magical in many ways. I sang and played my guitar Friday evening for the first time. I really didn't mention singing and playing to any one so I guess some were quit surprised. Lou is a greatest fan and moral supporter. She encourages me. She really wants me to sing and play and even help me get set up. They all said they enjoyed it! I tried not to go on so long just about forty minutes. So, it was a fun first! In years past I sang and some would tell me that I had a good voice. Well, this year I purchased an amp and mic and surprised everyone with my equipment. So it was fun!
I tried not to hog the time or attention; so only played about forty minutes. It was all very magical. And they all enjoyed the little plastic pint size Margaritas I had along in my kayak. And Saturday evening M made award winning Margaritas from scratch. Superb!
At night alone in bed I thought about people who are very special to me. T, D, M and myself! I think I had a T spotting on Thursday as I was pulling out and onto the main street from where I live. I know it was her! I looked at her because I felt her eyes just as I did many times in the past. I love her! I hope in her heart she knows that; somehow we have a heartfelt spiritual connection. I intuitively know this to be true! I wished to see her the other day because I missed her. I think one day we will secretly be very intimate and fulfill a mutual dream. We'll be fine! It's only love; the most natural thing there is. Why do you think spiritual beings want so badly to come into human form? So, we can feel the wonderful human sensations that keep us connected - spiritually.
And then I thought about D and how she tries and does the best she can. I will always love her; my 05SL. I wish her the very best!
And then I thought of my new lover and prayed for her success with her sport endeavor on Saturday. I believe that there is a hold lot tied up there; she is very driven for some reason. Some day I'm sure I'll hear all about it in front of the fire when it's cold outside. I'll hear it during an afternoon meeting.
I hear and saw a mutual need and desire when we spoke and so I followed up on it daringly as it was. She responded in Olympic fashion.
Raining Like Hell!
I just got all my shit out of the car. It's pouring! I did fabulously well getting my kayak up the steps to my second floor condo! Did I get stronger? More determined? Or just learned how to pick it up with my right hand and stick my elbow in the hole and carry it up the steps. A pie walk! A piece of cake! Even going around the around, down the hall making the twist through the second bedroom out on to the back patio all went superbly!
There were a few times on the kayak trip that I thought I would just get rid of the thing and rent one each time I got; but once again since everything went okay I think I'll keep it for another annual float!
The first day we floated ten miles instead of the normal five miles. The three of us who have kayaks thought that we would drive up to the ten mile start leave the kayaks with one person and then two would drive the two cars back. Well, that would have worked out fine if we would have have started out too late and miss the bus ride with the rest of the crew to the starting point.
We called the place and told them to go on without us. After the float we borrowed a car and the three of us drove up in one car to get our two cars to come back to the take out point to load up our three kayaks. I know, I know, it all sounds very confusing! Sometimes it does to me too!
We did the same the next day, but it was only a five mile float so we easily had enough time. Actually, we are used to timing ourselves for the five miles float. It was the ten miles float distance and time that threw us off. I supposed it's true, we are creatures of habit.
I still have time, I could go to a "Crash" movie discussion but can't decide if I want to go or not. So far I did not recognize anyone going. Now that that should make a big difference. I should go.
I'm enjoying my solitude. I love my friends but I am used to being alone I think. The moment I got in the car I was feeling wonderfully free and content! I was raised alone mostly. So, I can't help it!
I think I'll skip the discussion. It's very racial; the movie is racial! It would be good however. I watched the movie last Thursday evening. I just need to stop and get something sweet. I'll take a shower and decide. And Emma has already been out!
There were a few times on the kayak trip that I thought I would just get rid of the thing and rent one each time I got; but once again since everything went okay I think I'll keep it for another annual float!
The first day we floated ten miles instead of the normal five miles. The three of us who have kayaks thought that we would drive up to the ten mile start leave the kayaks with one person and then two would drive the two cars back. Well, that would have worked out fine if we would have have started out too late and miss the bus ride with the rest of the crew to the starting point.
We called the place and told them to go on without us. After the float we borrowed a car and the three of us drove up in one car to get our two cars to come back to the take out point to load up our three kayaks. I know, I know, it all sounds very confusing! Sometimes it does to me too!
We did the same the next day, but it was only a five mile float so we easily had enough time. Actually, we are used to timing ourselves for the five miles float. It was the ten miles float distance and time that threw us off. I supposed it's true, we are creatures of habit.
I still have time, I could go to a "Crash" movie discussion but can't decide if I want to go or not. So far I did not recognize anyone going. Now that that should make a big difference. I should go.
I'm enjoying my solitude. I love my friends but I am used to being alone I think. The moment I got in the car I was feeling wonderfully free and content! I was raised alone mostly. So, I can't help it!
I think I'll skip the discussion. It's very racial; the movie is racial! It would be good however. I watched the movie last Thursday evening. I just need to stop and get something sweet. I'll take a shower and decide. And Emma has already been out!
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
I'm only human?
My horoscope today suggests that I not be so hard on myself, after all I'm only human! I beg to differ! Oh cont-are! I am a spiritual being occupying a human body while visiting here on earth. I am not merely human.
This is what organized religion, society in general, local, state and federal government would like to have you believe. That we are mere mortals. On the contrary, we are as spiritual and powerful as we allow ourselves to be while in human form.
I can create my day and make it magical. I chose my parents, time and date of birth and my body type! I choose my health, safety, and intellect! It's true! We are in control, yet obstacles, such as other clueless humans mess it up for me and others who realize their power.
Other human, especially males, who wish to dominate, rule, conquer, and kill to get what they want control the majority of the human race. And most people fall into their traps. Most people think it's easier to follow than to lead. Well, and men are pushy. It's their birthright they feel, to take what they want.
When I was growing up women has no social status; men were honored and male children celebrated. Life was awful! My parents were cruel and cold! Male children were favored, women were expected to get screwed over and be Marilyn Monroe's on Valium, the sedation drug of choice. When women felt powerless and trapped, doctors created zombies of them.
In not too distant years past, women had no legal power or special social status and this remains true in the Middle East and Asian countries. Who makes these rules, why the very men who wrote the bible, it's all bull shit! And people fall into this stuff. People are so easily persuaded and men are weak and follow right along and their wives weaker yet and follow them - like a bunch of ditto head zombies. I have no respect for any of them. They do not want to read between the lines and follow the money!
They want to believe that the church and government actually care about us! What a joke! People get real. They want your money and your life if it serves their purpose. I probably take a chance writing this. Collateral damage means nothing to them; anyone gets in the way be dealt with! We are mere peons. All mighty, especially white male leaders, need and want peon, for without them they are nothing. Men are ignorant as hell and will sell their very souls for a piece of the action and power. Clarence Thomas, Supreme Court Justice, made it appear that he would represent his race, but after he got appointed, he has become an extreme white male conservative. The hell with the rest of the people of his race, he wants the power.
Republicans rule and another will be elected in 2008! Why? Because they can - new electronic voting machines. Hey, it's been done already in Florida and in most of the important voting states. Follow the money people! War? Oh, for profit, of course. Why do you think we had VietNam and now Middle East? To protect the oil and make money for the war machine. Yes, we found excuses to get in over there.
I believe at first Bush was afraid. He didn't have a clue, now he is wrapped up in this ego trip; after six years he has finally discovered the power that he has. Talk about dangerous!
Yes, it's the Carl Rove, Dick Cheney show starting our, and yes you well like him, bobble head Bush, the clueless puppet. Of course that is what the money machine likes and that is people appealing (because basically the public is stupid and will believe anything you tell them) bobble head puppets. Poor Colin Powell had to lie holding that cheat trick picture with the lone white truck carrying enough uranium to blow up the world. Oh come on, such theatrics. Are we really that naive or is it we just plain do not want to see?
Oh well! Who cares? So far it's all working well. Oh, the air may be making people sick and melting away our shorelines. Oh, but it's worth it to a very rich few while the middle class shrinks along with our shorelines. God bless America! Oh, and according to the president, this is what the American people want - gas guzzling, little dick big ass trucks that are killing machines on the highways. Oh yes, big business, oil, tobacco, government, and auto industries are indeed looking out for our best interest and the clean air you breath.
What the electric car with no maintenance required, only rotating the tires every six thousand miles and keeping the air clean? Oh the American people; they don't want that. No the auto industry is in so cahoot with the oil industry and government that they will all stay gay and married at the same time until the very last drop of oil gets pumped out of the middle east.
Have a great day in wonderland!
This is what organized religion, society in general, local, state and federal government would like to have you believe. That we are mere mortals. On the contrary, we are as spiritual and powerful as we allow ourselves to be while in human form.
I can create my day and make it magical. I chose my parents, time and date of birth and my body type! I choose my health, safety, and intellect! It's true! We are in control, yet obstacles, such as other clueless humans mess it up for me and others who realize their power.
Other human, especially males, who wish to dominate, rule, conquer, and kill to get what they want control the majority of the human race. And most people fall into their traps. Most people think it's easier to follow than to lead. Well, and men are pushy. It's their birthright they feel, to take what they want.
When I was growing up women has no social status; men were honored and male children celebrated. Life was awful! My parents were cruel and cold! Male children were favored, women were expected to get screwed over and be Marilyn Monroe's on Valium, the sedation drug of choice. When women felt powerless and trapped, doctors created zombies of them.
In not too distant years past, women had no legal power or special social status and this remains true in the Middle East and Asian countries. Who makes these rules, why the very men who wrote the bible, it's all bull shit! And people fall into this stuff. People are so easily persuaded and men are weak and follow right along and their wives weaker yet and follow them - like a bunch of ditto head zombies. I have no respect for any of them. They do not want to read between the lines and follow the money!
They want to believe that the church and government actually care about us! What a joke! People get real. They want your money and your life if it serves their purpose. I probably take a chance writing this. Collateral damage means nothing to them; anyone gets in the way be dealt with! We are mere peons. All mighty, especially white male leaders, need and want peon, for without them they are nothing. Men are ignorant as hell and will sell their very souls for a piece of the action and power. Clarence Thomas, Supreme Court Justice, made it appear that he would represent his race, but after he got appointed, he has become an extreme white male conservative. The hell with the rest of the people of his race, he wants the power.
Republicans rule and another will be elected in 2008! Why? Because they can - new electronic voting machines. Hey, it's been done already in Florida and in most of the important voting states. Follow the money people! War? Oh, for profit, of course. Why do you think we had VietNam and now Middle East? To protect the oil and make money for the war machine. Yes, we found excuses to get in over there.
I believe at first Bush was afraid. He didn't have a clue, now he is wrapped up in this ego trip; after six years he has finally discovered the power that he has. Talk about dangerous!
Yes, it's the Carl Rove, Dick Cheney show starting our, and yes you well like him, bobble head Bush, the clueless puppet. Of course that is what the money machine likes and that is people appealing (because basically the public is stupid and will believe anything you tell them) bobble head puppets. Poor Colin Powell had to lie holding that cheat trick picture with the lone white truck carrying enough uranium to blow up the world. Oh come on, such theatrics. Are we really that naive or is it we just plain do not want to see?
Oh well! Who cares? So far it's all working well. Oh, the air may be making people sick and melting away our shorelines. Oh, but it's worth it to a very rich few while the middle class shrinks along with our shorelines. God bless America! Oh, and according to the president, this is what the American people want - gas guzzling, little dick big ass trucks that are killing machines on the highways. Oh yes, big business, oil, tobacco, government, and auto industries are indeed looking out for our best interest and the clean air you breath.
What the electric car with no maintenance required, only rotating the tires every six thousand miles and keeping the air clean? Oh the American people; they don't want that. No the auto industry is in so cahoot with the oil industry and government that they will all stay gay and married at the same time until the very last drop of oil gets pumped out of the middle east.
Have a great day in wonderland!
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