I was a little bummed out this morning...but later did some yoga stretches and I felt better so I decided then to go swimming.
Sometimes I have to push myself. But, I try not to go 48 hours with exercising some kind of way.
I felt much better by the time I got in the pool. I decided I have a new goal and that is to learn how to swim correctly. I hate water in my face so it's a real challenge; but I want to look like the other swimmers who do it right. They keep their heads in the water and turn their face and mouth up and out to take a breath and then breath out into the water when their face is down.
I think next week when I use the nose clamp, goggles, and ear plugs it will help things to fall into place. I know what I need to do it just getting myself geared to do it and getting coordinated. It's a goal...just like running my first half marathaon. Who ever would have thought.
So with a goal, I felt better. I have decided that has much as I want sex, I need to forget about it. It's not just the sex, it's the intimacy and hearts beating close and celebrating the beauty of god's creation. There is nothing more perfectly beautiful than an attractive woman's body. I cherish the moments.
I'm older and I appreciate life and beauty more I think. No, too, I would have felt this way in my 30's. My only regret. I have no beautiful wonderful memories of love making with a woman in my thirites. My summer love blessed me with that ...I will love her forever.
Oh I got off, sometimes, with men, but it was mostly a receiving thing...I never adored the wonder and beauty ....women take my breath away. I adore their beauty. Well, not all of them. I want to be in love...crazy in love.
The one I loved last summer was truly a gift. It makes me want to cry knowing that I waiting a life time for her.
I messed it up too. I didn't have enough confidence in myself. I loved her too much. I was such a fool.
No matter, I'd do it all over again. Being head over heels in love is worth it. I think about her everyday - still.
I was alive; I was in love and it was wonderful.
I want to look at someone again, and have to look away because they are so damn cute, I can't think straight enough to collect my thought to talk. She, the one last summer, took my breath away.
What I wouldn't do to be with her another time; another night.
I've pretty much lost interest in the M crowd. I don't care what they plan; I just don't care. I need to begin a whole new life.
I wish I could fall that way again.
It's late and I have to get up early.. poker went well, although I did lose I still had fun.
In the morning is the usual in the park; but in the afternoon I'm playing golf for the first time in about three years. And no, I never made it to the driving range to practice beforehand. Actually, I don't really like the driving range.
Anyway, Denise said the course is in such bad shape; it really doesn't matter so why not play. It's suposed to be beautiful tomorrow. I already have sunscreen in the bag. My clubs are old and cheap and only half the set. I think I'll carry my bag..it has a built in stand. Anyway, I think it will be fun.
Just another activity to add to my list. Well if K's knee doesn't get better, she and I can play golf during the week when she is off. I don't think she is really into golf. She' very cool. ...to answer your question..yes, I would; but she would have to be very loving to me.
I think I miss my summer love because we were so intimate and shared the most intimate things you can possibly share. I miss her terribly and think about her every day. But, I'm doing okay..actually, I'm doing quite well for myself...you don't think I wouldn't do you. All truth be told, I'm number one.
Anyway, good night my love. Universe, Ezekiel, Ramtha, my spirit guides and their spirt guides; please grant much safety, prosperity, good health, special wishes to L,T,D,K and the young naked woman from the interest; oh and me. Please keep us safe, injury free, pain free, accident free, happy and brillant.
Good night my loves..
Friday, March 31, 2006
My Lesson
I know that I'm here, on this planet, to learn something and I wonder what it is? Why are people so important to us yet hurt us or make us feel uncomfortable at times when we are with them. Why do some of them want me down there where they are.
I try very hard to be fit, healthy, and look good. I feel my efforts and appearances are transparent at times because if they were noticed wouldn't these people try to be more like me? Wouldn't they want to get fit and healthy?
I guess not because they make no efforts but go on taking their high blood pressure medicine, High LDL medicine. Some are or will be diabetic. They take this, their declared right of passage, into stride and look sad.
Personally, with many of them, I'm depressed. Where's the fight? Aging doesn't mean sickness. My age is merely chronological, it means nothing to me I have greater capabilities than some women in their 30's. So age has nothing to do with it. Is it mental? Life is certainly a strange journey. And if our dreams come true, then why isn't she here?
Last night I watched the Banff Mountain Film Festival and saw amazing rock climbing, skiing, and bicycling endurance. Funny these people never knew the words "can't" or "pain". It's all mental isn't it, even matters of the heart?
Will, if it's all mental, today I have to turn my brain around and become happy, confident, and in charge again. I can't let people drag me down, with them, if they are not up at the physical, emotional, common sense level where I reside.
I need my spirits lifted today, so I guess I'll go for a swim. I'm running ten or more miles in the morning so I won't run today. Or maybe I will. My life is a endless marathon with no finish line. People hate people who pity themselves so I keep the agnoy of my emotions to myself.
Sometimes, I have to run real hard and just cry because I miss her so bad; that summer love. Who never really loved me - well I don't even care I loved the sex. I loved worshiping her beautiful body. I want to make love to her or the beautiful silent bela golden goddess who lies so near me yet so out of reach every week.
I want to celebrate the wonderful gifts and beauty of life I'm so hanging on to. It's all I wanted to do. I'm hanging in here with every breath and speck of fiber that makes up the whole of me. I'm hanging on for dear life. One of these days I'm goona say, fuck you all, I'm getting off, if only I didn't enjoy my own company so much. I'm fine with "me", it's the rest of the "people" who reside here with me..I keep gravatating to the negative..
I want to celebrate and appreciate the beauty of life and life's beauties.
Universe help me....why am I here. Spirituals says we have a plan we wish to follow all mapped out before we even decide to be born; and therefore, we choose the time we are born and who to. But, then along the way of life, we have to figure out all over again what the plan was to begin with. And overcome what society throws us when we get here and fights us all the way. Why couldn't I have been an acoomplished musican; why can't I settle. Why am I this eterenal restless spirit?
This just might be a day of meditation and self centering. I love myself its the other people who are not cooperating. If only I didn't have that physical contact need. If only we weren't drawn together in that way.
I can't figure it out. Why do I long for the touch of another and why am I so particular? Why am I attracted to the youthful and beautiful?
Is it because I have an eternally youthful spirit myself. What happens one day when my body can't keep up....I'll go on pushing. Or I may just have to end my stay here and pass on.
At this point, and it's sad to say, I still don't get the "why for". I am supposed to be enjoying myself here and I am not. I want to leave. I don't understand the reason for this painful lonely journey. And my heart is running out of energy.
I don't even want to try anymore. I don't get it? Why do I want so much and then again so little. I want to make love to a precious human being...I had her in my hands and she's gone now. That time of the year is fast approaching again and only will remind me with the flowering and greening of the trees.
I have no appetite today. Guess I'll go swimming and get things kicked into overdrive. Why do you tell me I'm a hottie, beautiful, cool, quite a catch, "what are you doing hanging with those old ladies" and you still don't want me - you're killing me here. Get off the meds..
I miss and admire my past summer love..because if things or people weren't right or fulfilling she moved on. I miss her very much, because I truly loved her and still do. She just didn't feel the same way. And it's not like I'm wanting to hang on; I just can't get past it. I'm trying like hell.
Is everyone like this; even people in relationships. Are we ever truly satisfied, getting all of our needs met?
I am ever searching...looking for home; for that comfortable loving feeling. I'm so messed up today. I'm just letting a little come to the surface today that's all, normally I surpress it but things that we said last night didn't help matters at all. I would have been better to have stayed at home - alone.
So you see the position I'm in. I need people; yet, I don't need people at all. I'm happiest at times in my little world. If only I didn't need to be touched and close to another heart at times....
I try very hard to be fit, healthy, and look good. I feel my efforts and appearances are transparent at times because if they were noticed wouldn't these people try to be more like me? Wouldn't they want to get fit and healthy?
I guess not because they make no efforts but go on taking their high blood pressure medicine, High LDL medicine. Some are or will be diabetic. They take this, their declared right of passage, into stride and look sad.
Personally, with many of them, I'm depressed. Where's the fight? Aging doesn't mean sickness. My age is merely chronological, it means nothing to me I have greater capabilities than some women in their 30's. So age has nothing to do with it. Is it mental? Life is certainly a strange journey. And if our dreams come true, then why isn't she here?
Last night I watched the Banff Mountain Film Festival and saw amazing rock climbing, skiing, and bicycling endurance. Funny these people never knew the words "can't" or "pain". It's all mental isn't it, even matters of the heart?
Will, if it's all mental, today I have to turn my brain around and become happy, confident, and in charge again. I can't let people drag me down, with them, if they are not up at the physical, emotional, common sense level where I reside.
I need my spirits lifted today, so I guess I'll go for a swim. I'm running ten or more miles in the morning so I won't run today. Or maybe I will. My life is a endless marathon with no finish line. People hate people who pity themselves so I keep the agnoy of my emotions to myself.
Sometimes, I have to run real hard and just cry because I miss her so bad; that summer love. Who never really loved me - well I don't even care I loved the sex. I loved worshiping her beautiful body. I want to make love to her or the beautiful silent bela golden goddess who lies so near me yet so out of reach every week.
I want to celebrate the wonderful gifts and beauty of life I'm so hanging on to. It's all I wanted to do. I'm hanging in here with every breath and speck of fiber that makes up the whole of me. I'm hanging on for dear life. One of these days I'm goona say, fuck you all, I'm getting off, if only I didn't enjoy my own company so much. I'm fine with "me", it's the rest of the "people" who reside here with me..I keep gravatating to the negative..
I want to celebrate and appreciate the beauty of life and life's beauties.
Universe help me....why am I here. Spirituals says we have a plan we wish to follow all mapped out before we even decide to be born; and therefore, we choose the time we are born and who to. But, then along the way of life, we have to figure out all over again what the plan was to begin with. And overcome what society throws us when we get here and fights us all the way. Why couldn't I have been an acoomplished musican; why can't I settle. Why am I this eterenal restless spirit?
This just might be a day of meditation and self centering. I love myself its the other people who are not cooperating. If only I didn't have that physical contact need. If only we weren't drawn together in that way.
I can't figure it out. Why do I long for the touch of another and why am I so particular? Why am I attracted to the youthful and beautiful?
Is it because I have an eternally youthful spirit myself. What happens one day when my body can't keep up....I'll go on pushing. Or I may just have to end my stay here and pass on.
At this point, and it's sad to say, I still don't get the "why for". I am supposed to be enjoying myself here and I am not. I want to leave. I don't understand the reason for this painful lonely journey. And my heart is running out of energy.
I don't even want to try anymore. I don't get it? Why do I want so much and then again so little. I want to make love to a precious human being...I had her in my hands and she's gone now. That time of the year is fast approaching again and only will remind me with the flowering and greening of the trees.
I have no appetite today. Guess I'll go swimming and get things kicked into overdrive. Why do you tell me I'm a hottie, beautiful, cool, quite a catch, "what are you doing hanging with those old ladies" and you still don't want me - you're killing me here. Get off the meds..
I miss and admire my past summer love..because if things or people weren't right or fulfilling she moved on. I miss her very much, because I truly loved her and still do. She just didn't feel the same way. And it's not like I'm wanting to hang on; I just can't get past it. I'm trying like hell.
Is everyone like this; even people in relationships. Are we ever truly satisfied, getting all of our needs met?
I am ever searching...looking for home; for that comfortable loving feeling. I'm so messed up today. I'm just letting a little come to the surface today that's all, normally I surpress it but things that we said last night didn't help matters at all. I would have been better to have stayed at home - alone.
So you see the position I'm in. I need people; yet, I don't need people at all. I'm happiest at times in my little world. If only I didn't need to be touched and close to another heart at times....
Thursday, March 30, 2006
What a compliment; then why am I not happy?
Sometimes life is just a little tough. My sweet young friend compliments me and makes me feel wonderful. She's a breath of fresh air. "Why do you hang around with those old women?" God I love her. God please help me! I'm begging here......
But that compliment has it's price even though I feel flattered I'm still saddened because I am stuck in my daydreams.
Sometimes I do think, I waste my precious time when I could be meeting someone...yeah but where? How? They just aren't out there. What's she going to do, fall out of the sky?
I do not fit neatly in any category. So you know what, I am not going to worry about it.
I believe in myself and I have to because I cannot give up hope. I am a flippin walking miracle and I will never change who I am or what I can do. I have to be true to myself first. I am an example of what any woman can be at my age. God, help me, I do appreciate all of my blessings and I know that I am truly blessed. But, where's that tender love I never had. Okay two times I had it and I guess that is better the never: The wonderful doctor and my love last summer. Both times I thought I died and went to heaven. Thank you universe and my spirit guides. I believe in myself. I believe I can do anything I wish. I am very fortunate. I can run around 12 miles and have slightly aching knees for only one day; because yoga stretches help and so does Glucosamine Chondroitin, MSM, SAME, gelatin and calcium. I am a Libra and we teach by showing example. I think I am here to teach by example only no one is looking or listening or even trying to help themselves.
I hope K remains my friend. I need her in my life. I just realized I truly need my refreshing younger friends. I love their spirit.
I am a little sad and sometimes lonely. I think about sex all the time. I make believe and dream about the wonderfully golden goddess. She as a wonderful accent. I love her belly. I love to see her at yoga. She hasn't a clue that I dream about her and would love to worship her.
Funny, life is so funny and I am so stuck here. I have these feelings; these wonderful glorious feelings with no place to put them accept in my mind, at night while I daydream. There is no warm, precious sweet body there close for me to touch.
This has to end. And if dreams come true it well. But for now I can only dream. Too bad; I'm a very loving person.
Guess I'll go to bed now....
Thank god for my friend and although I'm a little sad and feeling alone tonight, I have hope. I truly do not think the universe will let me down. I am trying to figure out what I need to do. I must need to change my thinking some how. I'm unique, I know it. Please god I need another love in my life like last summer I want to be very much in love like I was then. God, I adored her.
But that compliment has it's price even though I feel flattered I'm still saddened because I am stuck in my daydreams.
Sometimes I do think, I waste my precious time when I could be meeting someone...yeah but where? How? They just aren't out there. What's she going to do, fall out of the sky?
I do not fit neatly in any category. So you know what, I am not going to worry about it.
I believe in myself and I have to because I cannot give up hope. I am a flippin walking miracle and I will never change who I am or what I can do. I have to be true to myself first. I am an example of what any woman can be at my age. God, help me, I do appreciate all of my blessings and I know that I am truly blessed. But, where's that tender love I never had. Okay two times I had it and I guess that is better the never: The wonderful doctor and my love last summer. Both times I thought I died and went to heaven. Thank you universe and my spirit guides. I believe in myself. I believe I can do anything I wish. I am very fortunate. I can run around 12 miles and have slightly aching knees for only one day; because yoga stretches help and so does Glucosamine Chondroitin, MSM, SAME, gelatin and calcium. I am a Libra and we teach by showing example. I think I am here to teach by example only no one is looking or listening or even trying to help themselves.
I hope K remains my friend. I need her in my life. I just realized I truly need my refreshing younger friends. I love their spirit.
I am a little sad and sometimes lonely. I think about sex all the time. I make believe and dream about the wonderfully golden goddess. She as a wonderful accent. I love her belly. I love to see her at yoga. She hasn't a clue that I dream about her and would love to worship her.
Funny, life is so funny and I am so stuck here. I have these feelings; these wonderful glorious feelings with no place to put them accept in my mind, at night while I daydream. There is no warm, precious sweet body there close for me to touch.
This has to end. And if dreams come true it well. But for now I can only dream. Too bad; I'm a very loving person.
Guess I'll go to bed now....
Thank god for my friend and although I'm a little sad and feeling alone tonight, I have hope. I truly do not think the universe will let me down. I am trying to figure out what I need to do. I must need to change my thinking some how. I'm unique, I know it. Please god I need another love in my life like last summer I want to be very much in love like I was then. God, I adored her.
Control
Control is a side effect of co-dependency. Thinking you can control your environment makes you feel safe? Needing to control every situation only makes the situation evidentually dissolve. In reality, its a give and take world and compromise is key.
Being controlling is a sure way to end a relationship. No one can have absolute control over another, although my mother passive agressively tried. I was her side-kick, she was nothing for me. In order for her to be something for me, she would have had to set me free and that wouldn't have suited her agenda, her needs. It was all about her!
Hallmark Cards, religion and society teaches guilt, but they like to call it "love", a sense of honor and duty. It's bullshit people. What we truly have is two people who fornicated and therefore by social demands and laws, are required to feed, house, clothed and get you to 12 years of school. But, what they throw in is a self-serving sense of life long commitment and duty.
Where I came from physical punishment was a form of demanding respect but what it truly bred was hate and total lack of respect. Love and any sign of affection was withheld for fear of spoiling (ruining) the child. I was in an emotional, intellectual and physical prison. A prison camp called a farm.
It was preached from behind the pulpit that children were born intrinsically evil and needed the devil beaten out of them. What they were saying was break their spirits and make them slaves to your every need.
So many people are so self-serving it pathetic. Recently on a talk show an obsessive shoppers was seen happy as a lark with her arms full of soon to be purchases. She was elated. Of course her daughters are seeing her come home with all this loot right; so they headed to following in her footsteps. But when mother get into the store with them, suddenly mother cannot afford any of the things they want..or they only get one thing. Well, the mother already went overboard on herself. Besides she is not made up to give or tend to the needs of others; only to the needs of herself. This mother didn't see any of this.
It's an "all about me" world..
Being controlling is a sure way to end a relationship. No one can have absolute control over another, although my mother passive agressively tried. I was her side-kick, she was nothing for me. In order for her to be something for me, she would have had to set me free and that wouldn't have suited her agenda, her needs. It was all about her!
Hallmark Cards, religion and society teaches guilt, but they like to call it "love", a sense of honor and duty. It's bullshit people. What we truly have is two people who fornicated and therefore by social demands and laws, are required to feed, house, clothed and get you to 12 years of school. But, what they throw in is a self-serving sense of life long commitment and duty.
Where I came from physical punishment was a form of demanding respect but what it truly bred was hate and total lack of respect. Love and any sign of affection was withheld for fear of spoiling (ruining) the child. I was in an emotional, intellectual and physical prison. A prison camp called a farm.
It was preached from behind the pulpit that children were born intrinsically evil and needed the devil beaten out of them. What they were saying was break their spirits and make them slaves to your every need.
So many people are so self-serving it pathetic. Recently on a talk show an obsessive shoppers was seen happy as a lark with her arms full of soon to be purchases. She was elated. Of course her daughters are seeing her come home with all this loot right; so they headed to following in her footsteps. But when mother get into the store with them, suddenly mother cannot afford any of the things they want..or they only get one thing. Well, the mother already went overboard on herself. Besides she is not made up to give or tend to the needs of others; only to the needs of herself. This mother didn't see any of this.
It's an "all about me" world..
What? CEO as New Secretary Treasuer?
Yes, I heard this on CNN this morning. The the government wants to replace the present Secretary Treasurer with a CEO from, was it Morgan Stanley or Time Werner, the owner of CNN.
Is this not concerning conflict of interest?
Wow! Is this unprecedented?
You know the pope is going to want to get in on the action too now....
I wonder how the stock market will react to this today?
MARKETS: 9:45am ET, 03/30
DJIA
+7.52
11,223.22
+0.07
NAS
+7.77
2,345.55
+0.33
S&P
+1.98
1,304.87
+0.15
STOCK/FUND QUOTES:
entersymbol
Looks like all is up...
Is this not concerning conflict of interest?
Wow! Is this unprecedented?
You know the pope is going to want to get in on the action too now....
I wonder how the stock market will react to this today?
MARKETS: 9:45am ET, 03/30
DJIA
+7.52
11,223.22
+0.07
NAS
+7.77
2,345.55
+0.33
S&P
+1.98
1,304.87
+0.15
STOCK/FUND QUOTES:
entersymbol
Looks like all is up...
Wednesday, March 29, 2006
Beautiful Day.......help me!
The day went fast! I ran about 12 miles - around the park twice. Ever since I did the half marathon March 19th running six miles isn't cutting it. I find that I run a minimum of ten. What the heck got into me. Endorphins?
I took a little nap when I got home. I'm beat! It was beautiful today; good thing I had sunscreen on!
But, then I had yoga class at seven. It went well enough; the unusal instructor wasn't there and the sub went easy on us....probably a good thing.
So good night! I don't want for anything.. well yes I do - intimacy. I'm having a tough time in that department and think about it everyday. I need help! Love and intimacy is such a beautiful thing; a celebration of the wonderful beings we are... so why is it so tough to get involved with someone?
What the hell is the universe waiting for? Oh well! Hey, I don't run like hell for two hours for nothing...I need to half way kill myself to not care about not getting any..I'm so damn tired I don't care...yes I do........help me!
Why in the hell doesn't the universe get the message.....I'm waiting! Is she on her way? Is she everything I ever dreamed of? Make her very tender and loving.. I need a lot of that....
I took a little nap when I got home. I'm beat! It was beautiful today; good thing I had sunscreen on!
But, then I had yoga class at seven. It went well enough; the unusal instructor wasn't there and the sub went easy on us....probably a good thing.
So good night! I don't want for anything.. well yes I do - intimacy. I'm having a tough time in that department and think about it everyday. I need help! Love and intimacy is such a beautiful thing; a celebration of the wonderful beings we are... so why is it so tough to get involved with someone?
What the hell is the universe waiting for? Oh well! Hey, I don't run like hell for two hours for nothing...I need to half way kill myself to not care about not getting any..I'm so damn tired I don't care...yes I do........help me!
Why in the hell doesn't the universe get the message.....I'm waiting! Is she on her way? Is she everything I ever dreamed of? Make her very tender and loving.. I need a lot of that....
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
GM Joins Brazil in Flexing..
Well, I never thought I'd see the day! Although the USA was not innovative on this one, Brazil was first; at least we are getting on the bandwagon.
Funny, I haven't seen any commericals on this new product yet. But, heres the scoop: GM is producing flexfuel vehicles...yellow means go. Actually, I'm wondering if any vehicle could be converted?
In earlier blogs I mentioned that Brazil doesn't waste one spect of fiber of a sugar cane plant and what is not used for sugar is turned into fuel called ethanol. Brazil's vehicles are computerized and can easily switch from total ethanol to all fuel made from petroleum or a combination of the two.
I was so pleased as I was paging through the special issue of TIME headlined "Special Report Global Warming: Be worried. Be very worried. It was in this issue that I saw the advertisement that GM is making Flexfuel vehicles using ethanol made from our most renewable resort: corn.
Amazing isn't it? We could have been doing this since the 70's do you think? Gee, do you think conservatism, large corporations...maybe the middle east had anything to do with our decisions and choices to WAIT and thus deny the fast arising negative global consequences of our evil ways?
We need to break away from our middle east dependency and we need to find an environmentally clean way to do it. I think we have finally got on the bandwagon.
I don't know why the Bush adminstration never joined the many other countries in helping to form the Kyoto program several years back. Now grant it, I don't know all the details. But, probably, it wasn't political advantagous or profitable at the time. Personally, I think in a public relations point of view, it didn't sit well with a lot of people. Why would you not want to do everything possible to save the planet on which you live. If you didn't like the Kyoto program, will then join it and try to make some changes for the better; if you think your ideas are better then what is already in place. But, at least look interested in saving your planet. It's a sad day when turning a corporation profit takes a higher priority over saving the environment.
Note: According to TIME, the Bush administration rejected Kyoto partly becuase developing countries, such as China and India, were exempt form emissions cuts
Funny, I haven't seen any commericals on this new product yet. But, heres the scoop: GM is producing flexfuel vehicles...yellow means go. Actually, I'm wondering if any vehicle could be converted?
In earlier blogs I mentioned that Brazil doesn't waste one spect of fiber of a sugar cane plant and what is not used for sugar is turned into fuel called ethanol. Brazil's vehicles are computerized and can easily switch from total ethanol to all fuel made from petroleum or a combination of the two.
I was so pleased as I was paging through the special issue of TIME headlined "Special Report Global Warming: Be worried. Be very worried. It was in this issue that I saw the advertisement that GM is making Flexfuel vehicles using ethanol made from our most renewable resort: corn.
Amazing isn't it? We could have been doing this since the 70's do you think? Gee, do you think conservatism, large corporations...maybe the middle east had anything to do with our decisions and choices to WAIT and thus deny the fast arising negative global consequences of our evil ways?
We need to break away from our middle east dependency and we need to find an environmentally clean way to do it. I think we have finally got on the bandwagon.
I don't know why the Bush adminstration never joined the many other countries in helping to form the Kyoto program several years back. Now grant it, I don't know all the details. But, probably, it wasn't political advantagous or profitable at the time. Personally, I think in a public relations point of view, it didn't sit well with a lot of people. Why would you not want to do everything possible to save the planet on which you live. If you didn't like the Kyoto program, will then join it and try to make some changes for the better; if you think your ideas are better then what is already in place. But, at least look interested in saving your planet. It's a sad day when turning a corporation profit takes a higher priority over saving the environment.
Note: According to TIME, the Bush administration rejected Kyoto partly becuase developing countries, such as China and India, were exempt form emissions cuts
Thinking about loves...
At the end of the yoga session we lie down and meditate my mind always wanders to D and T. Oh, I think about D everyday; she has a permanent imprint on my heart. I told her I would always love her - unconditionally. I hope somehow my spirit guides and hers get together and she has wonderful blessed happy hearted days. Because if it was up to me..she would and in her heart she would feel my love.
I pray the same for T also. The woman saved my life! I was thinking about that day too while I was lying there today.
I had fallen hard the moment I met her. There was just this warm sweetness about her heart. I so needed to feel it around me...I think now, looking back.
I thought of nothing but her for months, five or more. Finally, I saw her; asked for advice. "You see" I said. " I am slipping out of my relationship, I'm in love with another." She asked. "Are you seeing her?" I answered sadly. "No" I asked for a therapist's name. At the end, she sensed my broken heart and instead of taking my hand, she decided to put her arms around me. I never thought she would put her arms around me...I wasn't prepared. I thought oh no! She wasn't aware that she was the object of my affections. I thougt I would die. I haven't wanted the time to be over...and when she asked is there anything else...I found myself asking for a therapist's name.
I thought I died; her heart so close to mine, I wanted to crawl inside where it was safe and warm and loving and stay there forever. She would have hugged me for as long as I needed...she saved my life that day, you know. I felt a lifetime of love from her heart to mine. It was magical and healing.
Suddenly, as if my spirit guide was there; I think I saw him, there was a dark figure right over my left shoulder. Then for a second my mother came into view her eyes were telling me...no one else but me...I stubbornly pushed her aside. It was the final push. From that day forward, I could not stand in be in my mother's presence....I haven't seen her now for about a year. I do not miss her at all. Then in a nanosecon, my spirit guide said it was okay to let T know how I felt. My arms were still around her, hers around me. My eyes still closed, I turned my face slightly and I kissed her cheek... and whispered it's you. I felt a slight shift in her body; her hair on my cheek. Thinking back I can't believe I did that; but it only goes to prove how injured I was; how broken.
She changed my life that day. She held my face to look in my eyes, and when they met, only for a second, then I had to look down. I was a mess. She sighed for she truly knew then how I felt; what was going on. God I loved her.
I cry when I think about her...her love. No one has even been that tender... and it touches my heart so...
Holding my head, then lightly kissing my cheek.. she whispered.. "I can't do this". She turned and sat down holding her arms around her chest..."oh, it's hurts my heart". She said.
God, I thought my painful heart would bleed out on the floor I couldn't go to her...it was done. "I softly said. " I'll see Sharon. I'll get it fixed".
Sharon, her therapist friend she recommended, when I asked...the good doctor to suggest a therapist...after she asked ...before he held me.."is there anything else"
She was my partner's surgeon...I fell in love with a doctor.
I'll never forget her as long as I live and I will always love her....always.
Things changed quickely after that day. My partner moved out a month later. Six months after that I stopped speaking to my family and moved to another state.
I'm happy now surrounding by many friends, my ex one of them. I think about the doctor and pray for her everyday....I pray for that one who saved my life and touched my heart like no other.
I pray the same for T also. The woman saved my life! I was thinking about that day too while I was lying there today.
I had fallen hard the moment I met her. There was just this warm sweetness about her heart. I so needed to feel it around me...I think now, looking back.
I thought of nothing but her for months, five or more. Finally, I saw her; asked for advice. "You see" I said. " I am slipping out of my relationship, I'm in love with another." She asked. "Are you seeing her?" I answered sadly. "No" I asked for a therapist's name. At the end, she sensed my broken heart and instead of taking my hand, she decided to put her arms around me. I never thought she would put her arms around me...I wasn't prepared. I thought oh no! She wasn't aware that she was the object of my affections. I thougt I would die. I haven't wanted the time to be over...and when she asked is there anything else...I found myself asking for a therapist's name.
I thought I died; her heart so close to mine, I wanted to crawl inside where it was safe and warm and loving and stay there forever. She would have hugged me for as long as I needed...she saved my life that day, you know. I felt a lifetime of love from her heart to mine. It was magical and healing.
Suddenly, as if my spirit guide was there; I think I saw him, there was a dark figure right over my left shoulder. Then for a second my mother came into view her eyes were telling me...no one else but me...I stubbornly pushed her aside. It was the final push. From that day forward, I could not stand in be in my mother's presence....I haven't seen her now for about a year. I do not miss her at all. Then in a nanosecon, my spirit guide said it was okay to let T know how I felt. My arms were still around her, hers around me. My eyes still closed, I turned my face slightly and I kissed her cheek... and whispered it's you. I felt a slight shift in her body; her hair on my cheek. Thinking back I can't believe I did that; but it only goes to prove how injured I was; how broken.
She changed my life that day. She held my face to look in my eyes, and when they met, only for a second, then I had to look down. I was a mess. She sighed for she truly knew then how I felt; what was going on. God I loved her.
I cry when I think about her...her love. No one has even been that tender... and it touches my heart so...
Holding my head, then lightly kissing my cheek.. she whispered.. "I can't do this". She turned and sat down holding her arms around her chest..."oh, it's hurts my heart". She said.
God, I thought my painful heart would bleed out on the floor I couldn't go to her...it was done. "I softly said. " I'll see Sharon. I'll get it fixed".
Sharon, her therapist friend she recommended, when I asked...the good doctor to suggest a therapist...after she asked ...before he held me.."is there anything else"
She was my partner's surgeon...I fell in love with a doctor.
I'll never forget her as long as I live and I will always love her....always.
Things changed quickely after that day. My partner moved out a month later. Six months after that I stopped speaking to my family and moved to another state.
I'm happy now surrounding by many friends, my ex one of them. I think about the doctor and pray for her everyday....I pray for that one who saved my life and touched my heart like no other.
getting on the supplement wagon..
I'm a Libra and we like to teach by showing example. But, I need all the help I can get. Seems I got some today. My dear young 30's friend K's chiropractor told her to take Glucosamine Chondroitin and MSM ( I say calcium too). She has knee problems and elbows that top and what not. I have always told her that I take a handful of this stuff each day and then some.
I took her to Sam's today and loaded her up. I hope it helps. I truly hope it helps because I want her to get out there and run and bicycle this summer.
Now, my knees were aching this morning a little too. Tight jeans across the bending knees is not a good thing for me and I know it. But within a week I had ran about 13 miles three times. Mine were bothering me this morning and yoga class helped. Hmm, maybe when she gets to a good point, I'll suggest she come to my Wednesday evening yoga class if she's not working. She would love the instructor.
I felt good afterwards! I hope it helps her. I don't care if it took her chiropractor to tell her what I have been suggesting for a long time now; the point is, she's finally on board and that is a good thing.
I think she looks up to me and that to me is priceless!
Namaste!
I took her to Sam's today and loaded her up. I hope it helps. I truly hope it helps because I want her to get out there and run and bicycle this summer.
Now, my knees were aching this morning a little too. Tight jeans across the bending knees is not a good thing for me and I know it. But within a week I had ran about 13 miles three times. Mine were bothering me this morning and yoga class helped. Hmm, maybe when she gets to a good point, I'll suggest she come to my Wednesday evening yoga class if she's not working. She would love the instructor.
I felt good afterwards! I hope it helps her. I don't care if it took her chiropractor to tell her what I have been suggesting for a long time now; the point is, she's finally on board and that is a good thing.
I think she looks up to me and that to me is priceless!
Namaste!
Bush? Is he really OUR president?
Bush is a negative representative of this country; he makes us look like a bunch of fools to Brazil and other countries who are taking the correct humane measures to preserve our planet.
There was an oil crush in the 1970's and I believe we helped Brazil move away from fossil fuel; but did we? No! Bush is addicted to the Middle East. I guess god wants to get back home...fine send him there. He preforms more like their president than ours anyway.
Brazil is not wasting one bit of fiber that comes from seas of sugar cane fields; what is not used as sugar is burned as ethenol. By next year they will be totally petroleum free. Did you hear that Mr. Bush? What are you doing to decrease global warming and petroleum dependency? Scientists have been warning us for decades but environmentalists and lawmakers have been arguing for years about if the grim prediction was even true. They know it was, they just didn't want to deal with it; or wanted to argue like children over it.
Well it just so happens what human activity has caused a speed up the process which now cannot be ignored. Didn't I state in an earlier blog that our government is retroactive; probably never even heard of the word proactive; accept maybe where winning the state of Florida in an election year is concerned. Evidently enough CO2 (causing greenhouse effects) has been pumped into the sky to trap the heat that flows from the sun near the earth rising global temperatures.
Why did Americans allow the problem to get this bad? Well, many naysayers were on the payrolls of energy companies. Bush did and still allows corporations to voluntarially cut back on emissions that contribute to the greenhouse effect. Now you know if it's not cost effective corporations (some of the largest lobbyiest groups ever) will not change emissions methods unless forced and Bush knows this and is giving them leaway. The hell with you average American middle class workers (some with two jobs now because of allowed out scouring, off shoring and shipping in of greencarded immigrants) who contributes the highest percentage to the federal tax base - the hell with you!
By popular demand only ( it all depends on votes and profits) Bush had to force the auto industry to build cleaner performing vehicles (he also had to force them to make cars safer...your life depends on their cost basis....now how does that make you feel. Foreign vehicles were the first to engage safety standards. Oh, let's just build a hydrogen bomb and blow them up for being so humane!). Even Evangelical Christians so wrapped in conservatism are beginning to change their minds, surprisingly so. So says TIME/ABC News/Standord University study polls show that just under 90% of the population thinks that the government should now take measures to cut down on global warning. Gee, I hope it's not to late retroactive America.
We all know for a fact decisions are based on voting polls and where actual profits lie and not on concerns for human or environmental health. Get real people! Maybe, there was a time when I was a kid (a very short time) that I actually thought the government was looking out for me and had my best interest at heart - you know like a good parent :). I was so wrong! Actually, on both counts!
Finally, we see that there is a problem; but we really do not yet see the solution. For the past one hundred years the world's temperature has increased very slowly but is speeding up. It shouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that if the population doubles every sixty years that would mean more growth and therefore more fuel consumption and waste expenditure therefore more global warming. Dah!
Burning fossil fuels releases carbon; burning forests reduces oxygen and increases drought; rising temperatures melt polar ice and permafrost; less ice means more heat which means even less ice and melting ice raises sea levels inundating low coastal areas. Looks like insurance companies which keep rebuilding even more expensive homes on the Hamptons after hurricanes destroyed them will soon have to build them way up high on stilts! Or move the Hamptons closer in...because they ain't gotta be there. Next, scammers instead of saying. " I have a bridge to sell you" will be saying: "Say, I have a nice piece of coastal property to sell ya". Sucker!
But just as the ordinary citizen with a wallet full of credit cards maxes them out and lives on the edge only one paycheck away from bankruptcy and homelessness, our government has taken on that same head in the sand attitude regarding the conditions of our environment and the air we breath and that of which your children will breath. If your not breathing, your not living on the edge...
Nasmaste!
There was an oil crush in the 1970's and I believe we helped Brazil move away from fossil fuel; but did we? No! Bush is addicted to the Middle East. I guess god wants to get back home...fine send him there. He preforms more like their president than ours anyway.
Brazil is not wasting one bit of fiber that comes from seas of sugar cane fields; what is not used as sugar is burned as ethenol. By next year they will be totally petroleum free. Did you hear that Mr. Bush? What are you doing to decrease global warming and petroleum dependency? Scientists have been warning us for decades but environmentalists and lawmakers have been arguing for years about if the grim prediction was even true. They know it was, they just didn't want to deal with it; or wanted to argue like children over it.
Well it just so happens what human activity has caused a speed up the process which now cannot be ignored. Didn't I state in an earlier blog that our government is retroactive; probably never even heard of the word proactive; accept maybe where winning the state of Florida in an election year is concerned. Evidently enough CO2 (causing greenhouse effects) has been pumped into the sky to trap the heat that flows from the sun near the earth rising global temperatures.
Why did Americans allow the problem to get this bad? Well, many naysayers were on the payrolls of energy companies. Bush did and still allows corporations to voluntarially cut back on emissions that contribute to the greenhouse effect. Now you know if it's not cost effective corporations (some of the largest lobbyiest groups ever) will not change emissions methods unless forced and Bush knows this and is giving them leaway. The hell with you average American middle class workers (some with two jobs now because of allowed out scouring, off shoring and shipping in of greencarded immigrants) who contributes the highest percentage to the federal tax base - the hell with you!
By popular demand only ( it all depends on votes and profits) Bush had to force the auto industry to build cleaner performing vehicles (he also had to force them to make cars safer...your life depends on their cost basis....now how does that make you feel. Foreign vehicles were the first to engage safety standards. Oh, let's just build a hydrogen bomb and blow them up for being so humane!). Even Evangelical Christians so wrapped in conservatism are beginning to change their minds, surprisingly so. So says TIME/ABC News/Standord University study polls show that just under 90% of the population thinks that the government should now take measures to cut down on global warning. Gee, I hope it's not to late retroactive America.
We all know for a fact decisions are based on voting polls and where actual profits lie and not on concerns for human or environmental health. Get real people! Maybe, there was a time when I was a kid (a very short time) that I actually thought the government was looking out for me and had my best interest at heart - you know like a good parent :). I was so wrong! Actually, on both counts!
Finally, we see that there is a problem; but we really do not yet see the solution. For the past one hundred years the world's temperature has increased very slowly but is speeding up. It shouldn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that if the population doubles every sixty years that would mean more growth and therefore more fuel consumption and waste expenditure therefore more global warming. Dah!
Burning fossil fuels releases carbon; burning forests reduces oxygen and increases drought; rising temperatures melt polar ice and permafrost; less ice means more heat which means even less ice and melting ice raises sea levels inundating low coastal areas. Looks like insurance companies which keep rebuilding even more expensive homes on the Hamptons after hurricanes destroyed them will soon have to build them way up high on stilts! Or move the Hamptons closer in...because they ain't gotta be there. Next, scammers instead of saying. " I have a bridge to sell you" will be saying: "Say, I have a nice piece of coastal property to sell ya". Sucker!
But just as the ordinary citizen with a wallet full of credit cards maxes them out and lives on the edge only one paycheck away from bankruptcy and homelessness, our government has taken on that same head in the sand attitude regarding the conditions of our environment and the air we breath and that of which your children will breath. If your not breathing, your not living on the edge...
Nasmaste!
Early Birds
The clock had 3:33 when I looked at it. I think its a good sign or means good luck when I see a cool line up like that.
Anyway, I'm not sure what woke me up..the birds I think. It's Spring and the birds love it. I do too!
My hip and knees were aching just a bit. So I did some stretches and took a couple of Ibuprofen and two Glucosamine Chontroitin. And now an hour later I feel great. I think everything really helped.
I have yoga class this afternoon; I can't wait. I want to swim or run before that even. I had two days off with nothing. Oh, I walked about two miles with Liz, not much at all.
And now I becoming sleepy again. It's 5:00 AM
Good Morning!
Last night I watched my new flat 32" HDTV. I like it but sometimes I think the people look a little wide?
I have my condo rearranged and it looks more open. I like it. If I can find an infra-red light with USB port for the front of my MOXI, I should be able to draw that line up and on top of my cabinet and then will be able to keep the cabinet doors closed when I'm watching TV. It looks very nice; I'm glad I did it. Well, the old one might have caught on fire is the on/off switch was faulty. I was lucky as it was leaving it on the about a week. It worked fine but, none-the-less, I think it was time (and like the water heater, before there was a mishap) to get a new one.
I'm looking for someone now to hang out with and maybe more..so we'll see. I am ready now. It took me this long and I'm ready, finally. I'll see what Saturday brings.
The time will change Saturday already so spring ahead. Well, I couldn't change my digital watch in the fall for some reason; I've been subtacted all winter. But, Sunday morning, it will be correct once again.
Have a great day! Get ready to run and bicycle with us.
Good night! I'm going back to bed for a couple of hours anyway.
Anyway, I'm not sure what woke me up..the birds I think. It's Spring and the birds love it. I do too!
My hip and knees were aching just a bit. So I did some stretches and took a couple of Ibuprofen and two Glucosamine Chontroitin. And now an hour later I feel great. I think everything really helped.
I have yoga class this afternoon; I can't wait. I want to swim or run before that even. I had two days off with nothing. Oh, I walked about two miles with Liz, not much at all.
And now I becoming sleepy again. It's 5:00 AM
Good Morning!
Last night I watched my new flat 32" HDTV. I like it but sometimes I think the people look a little wide?
I have my condo rearranged and it looks more open. I like it. If I can find an infra-red light with USB port for the front of my MOXI, I should be able to draw that line up and on top of my cabinet and then will be able to keep the cabinet doors closed when I'm watching TV. It looks very nice; I'm glad I did it. Well, the old one might have caught on fire is the on/off switch was faulty. I was lucky as it was leaving it on the about a week. It worked fine but, none-the-less, I think it was time (and like the water heater, before there was a mishap) to get a new one.
I'm looking for someone now to hang out with and maybe more..so we'll see. I am ready now. It took me this long and I'm ready, finally. I'll see what Saturday brings.
The time will change Saturday already so spring ahead. Well, I couldn't change my digital watch in the fall for some reason; I've been subtacted all winter. But, Sunday morning, it will be correct once again.
Have a great day! Get ready to run and bicycle with us.
Good night! I'm going back to bed for a couple of hours anyway.
Monday, March 27, 2006
Creating Balance
2006/03/27 8:51 PM
Like pieces of a puzzle many different aspects of energy come together to make the total balance of us. All the right combinations need to come together to give us energy, keep us joyful and with a sense of feeling satisfied. If we can achieve this then we are well on our way to being successful human beings. Isn't that our goal for every journey of life to discover love of self and others. I have finally found peace and balance and I truly think it comes from being the best I can be. I firmly believe working hard at exercising increases endorphins that gives us a sense of well being. When I was in my 30's and even younger, I never felt that I looked good. Now I look in the mirror and think I'm cute. I think it's true too that as I get older I truly appreciate life. I'm amazed at women now in their 30's who have aches and pains and don't think they are cute. Wow! Aren't things a little turned around? I truly do think that the fact that I work out so much keeps me healthy, filled with energy and sense of well-being. As Bette Medler said on her 90's "Divine" tour "I look good!" And she sure did. By the way she just turned 60 and will be touring again in the fall.
Like pieces of a puzzle many different aspects of energy come together to make the total balance of us. All the right combinations need to come together to give us energy, keep us joyful and with a sense of feeling satisfied. If we can achieve this then we are well on our way to being successful human beings. Isn't that our goal for every journey of life to discover love of self and others. I have finally found peace and balance and I truly think it comes from being the best I can be. I firmly believe working hard at exercising increases endorphins that gives us a sense of well being. When I was in my 30's and even younger, I never felt that I looked good. Now I look in the mirror and think I'm cute. I think it's true too that as I get older I truly appreciate life. I'm amazed at women now in their 30's who have aches and pains and don't think they are cute. Wow! Aren't things a little turned around? I truly do think that the fact that I work out so much keeps me healthy, filled with energy and sense of well-being. As Bette Medler said on her 90's "Divine" tour "I look good!" And she sure did. By the way she just turned 60 and will be touring again in the fall.
my day...
Yeah, wish I was that special person that was there for you!
I have decided to create my day and I am creating one of no love feelings. I don't care...I only care about me...from now on... I need no one.. and this yearning, pining feeling in my heart and gut will cease to exist.
Yesterday was an extremely giving day for me. I love my ex and I understand her but she drains me (just like my mother always did). She did help me and for that I am grateful..but she makes me feel guilty in the process and I buy her things...just drill bits. She loves to drill. She had a blast making the back of my cabinet look like swiss cheese. And then we had to cut out a section for the cable box would fit and I could close the doors. So, she had to run home and get a saw. Normally, she would have complained about having to go "all the way home" but in this case she was out the door gone and back in a flash, eager to get it and put it to use.
Anyway, I'm depressed today and it's not the rain. Who knows, maybe because I didn't get to exercise yesterday. Well, I walked a little with Liz. Then we had breakfast. I gave her advice; like take care of yourself and dump that load you have at home that is making you unhappy. Do you think that was a little too harsh. My ex agreedthey should live apart. One thing about her and I we could always have good discussions and we usually agreed on such matters. Maybe that is why we could split up and still be okay as friends. I hope so. She is happy now; so it's okay.
My horoscope says that I have lots of surprises coming my way soon that I may not be ready for them. It also said that I was going to spend money; well, I will be spending money in the next three months to pay for the HDTV 32" flat screen and just bought. I love it! And the HDTV card has not been turned on yet. (damn cable company, always finds something to charge you for. However, I did get them to knock about fifty bucks off my monthly bill).
I wonder what surprising things are coming my way? I know I want love in my life. I wish I didn't feel at all at times; but, I'm not made that way. Damn! If only I concentrated on a getting more sex and concentrated so much on matters of the heart too. In other words only worry about getting my needs met...you know selfish.
I think a new love is coming soon, I can feel it. Once again like last summer, I want to be head over heels and adore her. I think out-of-my-head love is fabulous and magical and it makes sex just wonderfully blessed. Last summer was pure magic! I wish I still had her to love. I loved being loving to her! She was precious to me. I think about every day.
Some days I feel lost. I'm so glad I had the time to spend with K today and I hope being around my friends is okay with her Thursday evening at the film festival. She and I are good friends and I hope it stays that way.
Guess I'll play my guitar now. I want to play every day so my fingers stay calloused. Oh, and so I get better.
I love my life, really. Actually, being alone might be best for me now. I love myself..guess that's enough. For the first time in my life I think I'm cute! It must be all the increased endorphines from exercising so much.
Hey universe and spirit guides, please help me. I'm in kinda of a bad place now. So, please guide me to do and say the things that are best for me and the people I care about and the ones I haven't met yet and will care about. Namaste!
I have decided to create my day and I am creating one of no love feelings. I don't care...I only care about me...from now on... I need no one.. and this yearning, pining feeling in my heart and gut will cease to exist.
Yesterday was an extremely giving day for me. I love my ex and I understand her but she drains me (just like my mother always did). She did help me and for that I am grateful..but she makes me feel guilty in the process and I buy her things...just drill bits. She loves to drill. She had a blast making the back of my cabinet look like swiss cheese. And then we had to cut out a section for the cable box would fit and I could close the doors. So, she had to run home and get a saw. Normally, she would have complained about having to go "all the way home" but in this case she was out the door gone and back in a flash, eager to get it and put it to use.
Anyway, I'm depressed today and it's not the rain. Who knows, maybe because I didn't get to exercise yesterday. Well, I walked a little with Liz. Then we had breakfast. I gave her advice; like take care of yourself and dump that load you have at home that is making you unhappy. Do you think that was a little too harsh. My ex agreedthey should live apart. One thing about her and I we could always have good discussions and we usually agreed on such matters. Maybe that is why we could split up and still be okay as friends. I hope so. She is happy now; so it's okay.
My horoscope says that I have lots of surprises coming my way soon that I may not be ready for them. It also said that I was going to spend money; well, I will be spending money in the next three months to pay for the HDTV 32" flat screen and just bought. I love it! And the HDTV card has not been turned on yet. (damn cable company, always finds something to charge you for. However, I did get them to knock about fifty bucks off my monthly bill).
I wonder what surprising things are coming my way? I know I want love in my life. I wish I didn't feel at all at times; but, I'm not made that way. Damn! If only I concentrated on a getting more sex and concentrated so much on matters of the heart too. In other words only worry about getting my needs met...you know selfish.
I think a new love is coming soon, I can feel it. Once again like last summer, I want to be head over heels and adore her. I think out-of-my-head love is fabulous and magical and it makes sex just wonderfully blessed. Last summer was pure magic! I wish I still had her to love. I loved being loving to her! She was precious to me. I think about every day.
Some days I feel lost. I'm so glad I had the time to spend with K today and I hope being around my friends is okay with her Thursday evening at the film festival. She and I are good friends and I hope it stays that way.
Guess I'll play my guitar now. I want to play every day so my fingers stay calloused. Oh, and so I get better.
I love my life, really. Actually, being alone might be best for me now. I love myself..guess that's enough. For the first time in my life I think I'm cute! It must be all the increased endorphines from exercising so much.
Hey universe and spirit guides, please help me. I'm in kinda of a bad place now. So, please guide me to do and say the things that are best for me and the people I care about and the ones I haven't met yet and will care about. Namaste!
Immigrants?
Well now I'm all for people coming to this country to make more than a buck an hour..truthfully, I think that is the whole strategy used by the Bush administration: To lower the working wages in this country.
Oh yes, now corporations do not have to ship work overseas and across the borders for cheap labor, Bush is bringing them here; yes, he is encouraging their entrance into this country.
My only concern is, being a former union person who has raised the bar on wages in this country, evening out the difference between management and non-mangement workers, what is this going to do to the over all wages in this country? Lower them, perhaps?
For now Bush says these people are willing to work the jobs no one else wants to work. This concerns me. One day nearly every one in this country may need to work "those" jobs. when this country gets to the time when all of us will be having to work two jobs to make ends meet?
At this very moment, the middle classes is shrinking? I have friends who have what is considered middle class jobs who cannot afford to buy a home.
My idea? I have a great idea. Why doesn't Bush work with President Fox (I believe that is his name) is in Mexico) and help those people.
That's right Bush, we cannot affoard to have illegal immigrants in this country because they do not pay taxes.
Bush and his temporary worker program..yeah, they work next to nothing, and benefit from our social services. This country is losing it's social tax base.
I can't believe that after 9/11 it takes Bush five years to secure the southern border. He is nuts? The man has not goe a thing to help secure this country.
We now have foreign communist countries running the white house computer systems; middle east countries running our harbor (oh, such because the one country sold off the middle east doesn't mean they are still not in control of that company?)
What is wrong with America taking care of America?
Bush himself has just said there has been six millions illegal immigrants caught.
I still can't believe it took Bush five years to addres this illegal immigrant problem. That is inexcusible!
Document fraud. Hello! Don't they go hand in hand? Come on Bush, direct yours eyes from the middle east and YOUR obsession with oil and focus and FIX the problems in your own country.
Bush is trying to address the problem by allowing so many in this country to work with work permits. We can keep track of any legal and illegal.
Bush is against of granting amdesty...I agree.
Just like the rest of us here who are "tagged" everyone should be ID's legally and TAXED!
Next, Bush better look at the declining middle class who is paying taxes and therefore social benefits for people who have no new paying jobs or insurance.
It upsets me that the baby boomers are/were the best and most successful class. They are now forced to take care of their parents and their young adult children too. Baby boomer parents are paying downpayments for their children, so they can own a condo or buy a car. Bush, being retroactive and not PROACTIVE. A word while males do not have in their short list of volcabulary. Men only try to fix things that they NEVER SEE COMING; rather they try to fix things after it's too late and becomes nonfixable..
Oh yes, now corporations do not have to ship work overseas and across the borders for cheap labor, Bush is bringing them here; yes, he is encouraging their entrance into this country.
My only concern is, being a former union person who has raised the bar on wages in this country, evening out the difference between management and non-mangement workers, what is this going to do to the over all wages in this country? Lower them, perhaps?
For now Bush says these people are willing to work the jobs no one else wants to work. This concerns me. One day nearly every one in this country may need to work "those" jobs. when this country gets to the time when all of us will be having to work two jobs to make ends meet?
At this very moment, the middle classes is shrinking? I have friends who have what is considered middle class jobs who cannot afford to buy a home.
My idea? I have a great idea. Why doesn't Bush work with President Fox (I believe that is his name) is in Mexico) and help those people.
That's right Bush, we cannot affoard to have illegal immigrants in this country because they do not pay taxes.
Bush and his temporary worker program..yeah, they work next to nothing, and benefit from our social services. This country is losing it's social tax base.
I can't believe that after 9/11 it takes Bush five years to secure the southern border. He is nuts? The man has not goe a thing to help secure this country.
We now have foreign communist countries running the white house computer systems; middle east countries running our harbor (oh, such because the one country sold off the middle east doesn't mean they are still not in control of that company?)
What is wrong with America taking care of America?
Bush himself has just said there has been six millions illegal immigrants caught.
I still can't believe it took Bush five years to addres this illegal immigrant problem. That is inexcusible!
Document fraud. Hello! Don't they go hand in hand? Come on Bush, direct yours eyes from the middle east and YOUR obsession with oil and focus and FIX the problems in your own country.
Bush is trying to address the problem by allowing so many in this country to work with work permits. We can keep track of any legal and illegal.
Bush is against of granting amdesty...I agree.
Just like the rest of us here who are "tagged" everyone should be ID's legally and TAXED!
Next, Bush better look at the declining middle class who is paying taxes and therefore social benefits for people who have no new paying jobs or insurance.
It upsets me that the baby boomers are/were the best and most successful class. They are now forced to take care of their parents and their young adult children too. Baby boomer parents are paying downpayments for their children, so they can own a condo or buy a car. Bush, being retroactive and not PROACTIVE. A word while males do not have in their short list of volcabulary. Men only try to fix things that they NEVER SEE COMING; rather they try to fix things after it's too late and becomes nonfixable..
Sunday, March 26, 2006
It's bullshit!
I walked with L, my retiring friend. She is unhappy in her relationship with C who has decided they should sell the house within two years? C said that very same thing a while back? Amazing. Both are unhappy? Even my ex and I agree on that one.....end it! Funny, this relationship for L is just like the previous. I wonder if most relationships are not fulfilling, one-sided, and co-dependent relationship. Personally, I'm glad I'm not in one. Why should I give up my freedom, compromise, when I can have it all my way. I think in any relationship some one always comes up short and sooner or later gets tired of it.
Speaking of my ex, she helped me bring home a new TV and hook it up. She enjoyed drilling holes in back of my cabinet/stand. We are still friends; I'm glad she and I ended it when we could still be.
My ex has a girlfriend in Fl., and keeps very busy. She is happy; so am I. I'm glad she is happy since I busted us up.
I was alone most of the time as a kid..no friends, really. I was shy and not very social. So I had to learn. I found it was just easier to let people have their way..my mother taught me this too. People are happy and love you as long as you take a back seat; but the moment you become secure and begin to be yourself...look out! It's as it they sense it and then they end it. It's just not worth it to me..I am my own best friend and I know it. I will love me more than anyone else and I know this is a fact too. It's just the way it is people. Someone is giving and someone is gladly taking.
I have no idea why I am a loving person and personally I would rather not be..I'd rather be the type who just uses people; they always seems to come out on top.
My best time this weekend was Saturday morning. I love the runners group. Maybe because we are all high on endorphines after a good run, then sweetened with bagels and caffeine.
Don't get my wrong, I'm a very caring person and I do have the capacity to love.. and that is my weakness. There is no such thing as unconditional love!
In case you are wondering; unconditional love is loving someone just for who they are. There are no demands placed. It's just loving someone for who they are. I usually love like that; trust me, I never expect love back or anything from that person; it's usually not there to give.
In all honesty, most people are takers and haven't a clue as to what loving someone truly means.
Personally, I just think life sucks and love is bullshit!
Speaking of my ex, she helped me bring home a new TV and hook it up. She enjoyed drilling holes in back of my cabinet/stand. We are still friends; I'm glad she and I ended it when we could still be.
My ex has a girlfriend in Fl., and keeps very busy. She is happy; so am I. I'm glad she is happy since I busted us up.
I was alone most of the time as a kid..no friends, really. I was shy and not very social. So I had to learn. I found it was just easier to let people have their way..my mother taught me this too. People are happy and love you as long as you take a back seat; but the moment you become secure and begin to be yourself...look out! It's as it they sense it and then they end it. It's just not worth it to me..I am my own best friend and I know it. I will love me more than anyone else and I know this is a fact too. It's just the way it is people. Someone is giving and someone is gladly taking.
I have no idea why I am a loving person and personally I would rather not be..I'd rather be the type who just uses people; they always seems to come out on top.
My best time this weekend was Saturday morning. I love the runners group. Maybe because we are all high on endorphines after a good run, then sweetened with bagels and caffeine.
Don't get my wrong, I'm a very caring person and I do have the capacity to love.. and that is my weakness. There is no such thing as unconditional love!
In case you are wondering; unconditional love is loving someone just for who they are. There are no demands placed. It's just loving someone for who they are. I usually love like that; trust me, I never expect love back or anything from that person; it's usually not there to give.
In all honesty, most people are takers and haven't a clue as to what loving someone truly means.
Personally, I just think life sucks and love is bullshit!
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Ran about 12 miles today..again!
I ran about 12 miles on Wednesday and felt great. I had to take a nap; oh, and then I had yoga class in the evening. That went well!
My yoga instructor! Wow! Her body! She is just about as cute, and as straight, as can be. And there is another one there; a golden goddess! I would have to be half dead to miss a yoga class. Anyway, the class does my body, heart, soul, and emotions very well.
Today I began at 8 and ran about 12 miles. Poor K, her knee was hurting; she is not sure if she will be able to run the half marathon in two weeks on April 9th. I think T & J will be find. In my heart and sick mind, I thought D was going to run it too. I need to get over her.
Maybe it's safe, loving her keeps me from trying again with another. I'm thinking the absent one, with wheels on her shoes, may still be slightly interested. She was at breakfast. Or she'll just looking for someone to ride and roll - with :)
Oh! I'm glad I find myself witty and amusing!
I'm so weird! I'm watching LOGO about a father and son very close relationship. Dad accepts his son's gayness. His wife is a lesbian. Dad's dating a woman now; he admires his ex-wife for taking risks and chances all in the name of love. It made me want to cry to hear a man be so loving and understanding.
When I was a kid..there was so such thing as love. Love was a sign of weakness. Dumb stuff.
I got the funny feeling I don't know love. I am only use to loving someone from a distance. I think my time with D might have been up too; for me. I was moving away. I don't know! I miss her very much now.
It's hard to move on..I'm not interested in wheels, but I should give it a chance if the opportunity presents itself. In the fall, I didn't. It's probably just a friends thing anyway.
I guess I'm just broken hearted. I wanted something I can't have. If she had truly cared for me it would have been hard for her to move on to. Seems all my life, even as a kid, I've loved and kept hanging on..even when I wasn't loved. One of these days, I'll get the message.
I just don't understand why I can't move on. Why I keep hanging on! I'm a fool! But I have made up my mind that if the opportunity presences itself I will give it a try.
My yoga instructor! Wow! Her body! She is just about as cute, and as straight, as can be. And there is another one there; a golden goddess! I would have to be half dead to miss a yoga class. Anyway, the class does my body, heart, soul, and emotions very well.
Today I began at 8 and ran about 12 miles. Poor K, her knee was hurting; she is not sure if she will be able to run the half marathon in two weeks on April 9th. I think T & J will be find. In my heart and sick mind, I thought D was going to run it too. I need to get over her.
Maybe it's safe, loving her keeps me from trying again with another. I'm thinking the absent one, with wheels on her shoes, may still be slightly interested. She was at breakfast. Or she'll just looking for someone to ride and roll - with :)
Oh! I'm glad I find myself witty and amusing!
I'm so weird! I'm watching LOGO about a father and son very close relationship. Dad accepts his son's gayness. His wife is a lesbian. Dad's dating a woman now; he admires his ex-wife for taking risks and chances all in the name of love. It made me want to cry to hear a man be so loving and understanding.
When I was a kid..there was so such thing as love. Love was a sign of weakness. Dumb stuff.
I got the funny feeling I don't know love. I am only use to loving someone from a distance. I think my time with D might have been up too; for me. I was moving away. I don't know! I miss her very much now.
It's hard to move on..I'm not interested in wheels, but I should give it a chance if the opportunity presents itself. In the fall, I didn't. It's probably just a friends thing anyway.
I guess I'm just broken hearted. I wanted something I can't have. If she had truly cared for me it would have been hard for her to move on to. Seems all my life, even as a kid, I've loved and kept hanging on..even when I wasn't loved. One of these days, I'll get the message.
I just don't understand why I can't move on. Why I keep hanging on! I'm a fool! But I have made up my mind that if the opportunity presences itself I will give it a try.
Precious and Naked
You might had read in earlier blogs (or maybe it was in my offline or book journal) where I pray for certain, important people in my life. In the last several months I added another member to my growing list: The young naked woman.
I always thank the universe and my spirit guides for their blessings and mine and I pray for our continued good health, safety, wisdom, and wealth for myself, L, T, D, K and now the young naked woman.
I know you wonder why the young naked woman? Well, one evening, one internet site lead to another and I ended up on shaggle. I became moving from screen to screen looking at the beautiful young sexy woman; which can be picked out by age or even can be picked out by bra size, no less. I must have been in the 22 age group for some reason..maybe a C..don't remember.
I paged through all the sexy, open, ready-to-go spreads of photos...and then I came upon this one, hers; and my heart stopped. .She was adorable! Innocent! Yes, in a way innocent looking..well, to me! She stirred my soul; she looked so vulnerable I wanted to protect her somehow.
She touched my heart. She was laying on a sheetless mattress. The pillow had no case. The mattress was lying on what appeared to be a tiled basement floor perhaps. Her little body was perfect and precious like a new baby.
She layed head on the pillow; her beautiful almost black hair, thicked curled, resting on the pillow. Her face slightly turnedto the right, eyes closed and a faint smile on her lips. She all spread out with legs apart; one leg folded. Most of her legs were not in the picture; but her arms were and her bottom of course. Beautiful and perfect! Her arms up with hands up along her beautiful full breasts. Her little belly tight and perfect; her bottom.. just there.. beautiful as a new born.
Must be my age; I wanted to pick her up in my arms and hold her and protect her. This beautiful untouched, unmarked (to the naked eye) perfect little human being.
I was compelled to read her profile: She was 22 (or who knows, maybe younger), living in MN, straight, wanting to meet a young man, with job and benefits. She wanted to work and go to school.
I prayed, and I pray for her everyday, that some wonderful, honest, loving, young man with a big heart falls hopelessly in love with her and protects her and guides her and shows her a lot of love; and never ever hurts her.
I would recognize her if I saw her with clothes on; she has a birthmark or mole on her right cheek. Even though her eyes were closed in the picture and I would see them open, I would know it was her. Her eyebrows were perfectly arched. Her hair thick, practically black cut little shoulder than shoulder length. Thick curls - beautiful.
I hope and pray she takes care of herself and is able to maintain or become independent. And only becomes pregnant if she wants to and is ready and wants a baby. I pray no one abuses her or hurts her in anyway. I pray she is wise and listens and sees what bad things happen to other people and learns from that and not her own bad experiences. I pray she makes good choices. I pray she doesn't get fooled or tricked into drugs or porn..
It's not like I can help her myself. Young people have to find their own way anyway. I feel the most powerful thing I can do for her is pray for the universe and her spirit guides and my spirit guides to protect and guide her. I wish her love; lots of it. I wish her happiness and safety; painfree, injury free, emotional, physical, mental abuse free days. I want her life to be wonderful and magical...this perfect little being with such a presence of innocence. She definitely had self-confidents..guess I don't have to worry about someone taking advance of her because of low self-esteem.
Well, that was my prayer for her for today... I'll be back again tomorrow! May you feel love in your heart.
I'm thinking she is Bosnian, or Romanian..I'm praying she is safe.
Her picture is no longer out there on the site. All I know is that she wasn't like the others. The others were wide open, with a wiched cold stares.
She was precious laying there like an innocent baby..there was just something about her that touched me my heart....
She is sort of my own little secret... that I pray for her that is.. I really don't think anyone would understand, they would just think she was like the rest of them. But there is something very special about this one.
Okay, universe, spirit guides, please be good to her and the rest of 'em of my list. I know that I am in good standing and my heart is pure...so they should be flying high too....
I always thank the universe and my spirit guides for their blessings and mine and I pray for our continued good health, safety, wisdom, and wealth for myself, L, T, D, K and now the young naked woman.
I know you wonder why the young naked woman? Well, one evening, one internet site lead to another and I ended up on shaggle. I became moving from screen to screen looking at the beautiful young sexy woman; which can be picked out by age or even can be picked out by bra size, no less. I must have been in the 22 age group for some reason..maybe a C..don't remember.
I paged through all the sexy, open, ready-to-go spreads of photos...and then I came upon this one, hers; and my heart stopped. .She was adorable! Innocent! Yes, in a way innocent looking..well, to me! She stirred my soul; she looked so vulnerable I wanted to protect her somehow.
She touched my heart. She was laying on a sheetless mattress. The pillow had no case. The mattress was lying on what appeared to be a tiled basement floor perhaps. Her little body was perfect and precious like a new baby.
She layed head on the pillow; her beautiful almost black hair, thicked curled, resting on the pillow. Her face slightly turnedto the right, eyes closed and a faint smile on her lips. She all spread out with legs apart; one leg folded. Most of her legs were not in the picture; but her arms were and her bottom of course. Beautiful and perfect! Her arms up with hands up along her beautiful full breasts. Her little belly tight and perfect; her bottom.. just there.. beautiful as a new born.
Must be my age; I wanted to pick her up in my arms and hold her and protect her. This beautiful untouched, unmarked (to the naked eye) perfect little human being.
I was compelled to read her profile: She was 22 (or who knows, maybe younger), living in MN, straight, wanting to meet a young man, with job and benefits. She wanted to work and go to school.
I prayed, and I pray for her everyday, that some wonderful, honest, loving, young man with a big heart falls hopelessly in love with her and protects her and guides her and shows her a lot of love; and never ever hurts her.
I would recognize her if I saw her with clothes on; she has a birthmark or mole on her right cheek. Even though her eyes were closed in the picture and I would see them open, I would know it was her. Her eyebrows were perfectly arched. Her hair thick, practically black cut little shoulder than shoulder length. Thick curls - beautiful.
I hope and pray she takes care of herself and is able to maintain or become independent. And only becomes pregnant if she wants to and is ready and wants a baby. I pray no one abuses her or hurts her in anyway. I pray she is wise and listens and sees what bad things happen to other people and learns from that and not her own bad experiences. I pray she makes good choices. I pray she doesn't get fooled or tricked into drugs or porn..
It's not like I can help her myself. Young people have to find their own way anyway. I feel the most powerful thing I can do for her is pray for the universe and her spirit guides and my spirit guides to protect and guide her. I wish her love; lots of it. I wish her happiness and safety; painfree, injury free, emotional, physical, mental abuse free days. I want her life to be wonderful and magical...this perfect little being with such a presence of innocence. She definitely had self-confidents..guess I don't have to worry about someone taking advance of her because of low self-esteem.
Well, that was my prayer for her for today... I'll be back again tomorrow! May you feel love in your heart.
I'm thinking she is Bosnian, or Romanian..I'm praying she is safe.
Her picture is no longer out there on the site. All I know is that she wasn't like the others. The others were wide open, with a wiched cold stares.
She was precious laying there like an innocent baby..there was just something about her that touched me my heart....
She is sort of my own little secret... that I pray for her that is.. I really don't think anyone would understand, they would just think she was like the rest of them. But there is something very special about this one.
Okay, universe, spirit guides, please be good to her and the rest of 'em of my list. I know that I am in good standing and my heart is pure...so they should be flying high too....
Friday, March 24, 2006
Good night..
my love. Are you all cozy and warm surrounded in flannel with kitties close by?
Sweet dreams!
In my mind, I just kissed your forehead and cheek and touched your hair..snuggling with my arm around you, pulling you close.
You are so warm and so quiet when you sleep...so peaceful..
makes my heart beat and swell with love.
Good Night!
Sweet dreams!
In my mind, I just kissed your forehead and cheek and touched your hair..snuggling with my arm around you, pulling you close.
You are so warm and so quiet when you sleep...so peaceful..
makes my heart beat and swell with love.
Good Night!
Illegals..
and identity thief. At any moment in time now a computer could be spitting out your social security number for an identity thief to use. These people actually just pick random numbers. A two month old baby was a recent victim. Now, the church, needing more parishoners for more money, is wanting more immigrants and encourages present parishioners to be daring and break the law if necessary to assist illegal immigrants in anyway. Yes, the archdisease bishop said this; suggested the law be broken to get more immigrants here in this country. Talk about greed and alterior motives. The church doesn't give a shit about these people; if it truly did it would send money to these countries; not give our jobs away tax free at that. Truth be told, the church is currently losing members because of priest sexual midconduct and want to gain more members. The church realizes that people south of the border are very religious and catholic. So, if they are here, working here, they will join the churches here.
So, many US citizens ID's are being stolen by immigrants. Many states have put laws into place to protect credit card thief, but the government is going over state heads and taking back some of these identity thief security laws. I wonder why? Don't you? Is the government (and the church, who are in cahoots) trying to make it easier for the illegal immigrants to break the law?
And yes, people in the identity thief business sell ID's to desperate people slipping across the border. Bush says he wants to tighten border security; but for some reason, I don't think I believe this. Besides why hasn't he done this after 9/11. Just what did the new national security council do anyway?
Wasn't it just about a year or so ago where Bush signed a bill to import latino immigrants in groups of at least three hundred to do the so called jobs no one here wants to do (somehow I just can't believe that there are jobs here in this country that people already here do not want to do?). There are many immigrants here already to fill these jobs and what about college students summer jobs; or someone else desparate who just had their good paying job shipped overseas to be done.
It's just too bad that the middle class is quicky shrinking and the good IT tech jobs are getting out-sourced overseas to help another country's population with their job shortages. Is Bus really our president? Funny, if he is, whenever he makes a speak, he never speaks of the well-being proposals for this country. He has done nothing for a cleaner environment, or leaner meaner econcomy, or more US "good paying" jobs.
The illegals who are getting away with working here and are not paying taxes are not contributing to our social security benefits, for which they are capable of receiving according to Bush's plan. Oh Bush will see to it that they will reap the benefits. You can't tell me he and the pope do not have a plan. The republicans and the church work together to get a republican elected; there by the republicans do all they can to repay the pope by moving in religious immigrants.
This is deffinitely an exploding global economy and the selling out of the middle class in America. The average middle class wages are much less now than a few years ago. Most people need to work two jobs to stay afloat. Credit card companies and new policies are ruining people. More and more people declare bankruptcy than ever before and think nothing of it. Or, they really do not realize just what it means.
Many former middle class workers living on the edge from month to month are homeless if they should lose their jobs. People are so full of debt that if they lose their jobs; they could be homeless within sixty days. Think about it? So many people have credit cards (more than one) maxed and nothing in savings..sad!
I don't know about anyone else, but I am a little concerned for the future of this country. In a few years just who will be running this country; another country? What about China? They handle most of Bush's 14 billion dollar debt. A Communist China company bought the PC branch of IBM recently and I believe that is the same company is monitoring and controlling all of the software for 16,000 computers around Washington D.C. They are probably the company who will be programing and controlling new nation wide electronic voting devices that you and I will use to vote with in 2008. If this is the case and it is; we will definitely have another republican president in 2008. Hell, if it worked in Florida it can certainly work nation way.
Be careful, hide all our personal records and ID stuff. Oh, and the next time you need to renew your drivers license or if your driver's license is lost or most likely stolen, you will need a, certified copy from the state capitol, birth certificate. No, I'm not kidding. You can't use the hospital one your mother was given...the birth certificate needs to be issued from your state of birth's capitol. Just google on online.. you'll find the place I did and it's not hard.
Acquaintances and roommates or the most common thieves so beware of that new lover. She might not only break your heart but ruin you financially too; or make life very difficult for a long time until you get everything straightened out.
It's sad, but be careful. Children like to make off with mom's stuff too...you know just borrowing, or helping out a cute boyfriend or new sexy girlfriend.
I have no idea where all this will take us? My only hope is that it will not be disastrous.
I recently was reading a book about a psychiatrist who hypnotized people into seeing future lives. One woman went to 2020, or there abouts. She said she saw the world was at peace in 2020. She was very peaceful. She said there was only two global governments, the East and the West and they got along and worked well together. ....finally!
Well, I'm thinking that global networking via corporations may ease the way for countries to get along. The corporations will need the help and cooperations of countries too. And where will the corporations be headquartered? And which country will they be loyal too? Will I predict each country that houses that branch of the corporation will have it own mini-headquarters and apply to local laws. Why not? With teleconferencing anything is possible..there can be many headquarters as long as they work together.
It's an ever changing world and an ever changing economy; I'm not really going to complain as long as the stock market works and right now it seems to be working nicely.
So, many US citizens ID's are being stolen by immigrants. Many states have put laws into place to protect credit card thief, but the government is going over state heads and taking back some of these identity thief security laws. I wonder why? Don't you? Is the government (and the church, who are in cahoots) trying to make it easier for the illegal immigrants to break the law?
And yes, people in the identity thief business sell ID's to desperate people slipping across the border. Bush says he wants to tighten border security; but for some reason, I don't think I believe this. Besides why hasn't he done this after 9/11. Just what did the new national security council do anyway?
Wasn't it just about a year or so ago where Bush signed a bill to import latino immigrants in groups of at least three hundred to do the so called jobs no one here wants to do (somehow I just can't believe that there are jobs here in this country that people already here do not want to do?). There are many immigrants here already to fill these jobs and what about college students summer jobs; or someone else desparate who just had their good paying job shipped overseas to be done.
It's just too bad that the middle class is quicky shrinking and the good IT tech jobs are getting out-sourced overseas to help another country's population with their job shortages. Is Bus really our president? Funny, if he is, whenever he makes a speak, he never speaks of the well-being proposals for this country. He has done nothing for a cleaner environment, or leaner meaner econcomy, or more US "good paying" jobs.
The illegals who are getting away with working here and are not paying taxes are not contributing to our social security benefits, for which they are capable of receiving according to Bush's plan. Oh Bush will see to it that they will reap the benefits. You can't tell me he and the pope do not have a plan. The republicans and the church work together to get a republican elected; there by the republicans do all they can to repay the pope by moving in religious immigrants.
This is deffinitely an exploding global economy and the selling out of the middle class in America. The average middle class wages are much less now than a few years ago. Most people need to work two jobs to stay afloat. Credit card companies and new policies are ruining people. More and more people declare bankruptcy than ever before and think nothing of it. Or, they really do not realize just what it means.
Many former middle class workers living on the edge from month to month are homeless if they should lose their jobs. People are so full of debt that if they lose their jobs; they could be homeless within sixty days. Think about it? So many people have credit cards (more than one) maxed and nothing in savings..sad!
I don't know about anyone else, but I am a little concerned for the future of this country. In a few years just who will be running this country; another country? What about China? They handle most of Bush's 14 billion dollar debt. A Communist China company bought the PC branch of IBM recently and I believe that is the same company is monitoring and controlling all of the software for 16,000 computers around Washington D.C. They are probably the company who will be programing and controlling new nation wide electronic voting devices that you and I will use to vote with in 2008. If this is the case and it is; we will definitely have another republican president in 2008. Hell, if it worked in Florida it can certainly work nation way.
Be careful, hide all our personal records and ID stuff. Oh, and the next time you need to renew your drivers license or if your driver's license is lost or most likely stolen, you will need a, certified copy from the state capitol, birth certificate. No, I'm not kidding. You can't use the hospital one your mother was given...the birth certificate needs to be issued from your state of birth's capitol. Just google on online.. you'll find the place I did and it's not hard.
Acquaintances and roommates or the most common thieves so beware of that new lover. She might not only break your heart but ruin you financially too; or make life very difficult for a long time until you get everything straightened out.
It's sad, but be careful. Children like to make off with mom's stuff too...you know just borrowing, or helping out a cute boyfriend or new sexy girlfriend.
I have no idea where all this will take us? My only hope is that it will not be disastrous.
I recently was reading a book about a psychiatrist who hypnotized people into seeing future lives. One woman went to 2020, or there abouts. She said she saw the world was at peace in 2020. She was very peaceful. She said there was only two global governments, the East and the West and they got along and worked well together. ....finally!
Well, I'm thinking that global networking via corporations may ease the way for countries to get along. The corporations will need the help and cooperations of countries too. And where will the corporations be headquartered? And which country will they be loyal too? Will I predict each country that houses that branch of the corporation will have it own mini-headquarters and apply to local laws. Why not? With teleconferencing anything is possible..there can be many headquarters as long as they work together.
It's an ever changing world and an ever changing economy; I'm not really going to complain as long as the stock market works and right now it seems to be working nicely.
Thursday, March 23, 2006
What a grip!
I just came across your picture from the station and run for sight. I think that was the first day I realized you touched my heart. I watched you watching the kids and my heart melted. It all started for me that day. May 1st. By June 11th, I could no longer contain myself. I blew a kiss! What a grip! You have no idea how you make me feel. I must be out of my head....I have tried to ignore this; make it go away...I'm not doing so good.
Once more..nothing has changed. I looked at the group picture see you and feel the same as I did then. Amazing! I feel love!
How you touched my heart is unbelievable to me. Wish I could hold you; listen to you tell me things....
I miss you. I must be out of my ever love'n head! You are complex, difficult. Maybe even your own worse enemy? I don't know what it is....it's like I see pass all of that. I know you're brilliant and quick. You're quite amazing.
Anyway, I just saw the picture and these feelings came roaring back into my heart. I just had to express them.
The last time I saw you was good. I was becoming more comfortable. Before I was very careful; I didn't want to push you further away.
My most precious moment? When you were watching dynamite; all curled up in the blanket. Just your little nose, lips..and your hair.. my heart ached. I just wanted to hold you so badly.
Well, I have to go now.. I have to stop thinking about this stuff. But, I am so glad we had that time together..it was priceless to me. A gift! To me, your precious and beautiful...and loved, very much.
I think, no I know, that I think about you everyday. I know you don't feel love..so you probably just think I'm weak and a little sick...needy perhaps. Oh let me add a few more: sad, pitiful. Well, I'm not. I'm perfectly happy and as successful as I want to be. I don't really think I need..I just love loving. I loved loving you. God, I wish I could hold you. Remember how I had to hug..sorry. You don't like hugs.. I know. Or pictures, I know. Abandoned animals you love. Nobody is going to break through that protective barrier are they? Did she? Does she? Does anyone? I'm safe, stable and I'm not going anywhere and i love you very much. I just want you in my life. I wish you could talk to me easily like you do..others. You just think I'm a sick-o.
I'm not..I want you in my life and I don't want you in my life. You were difficult; and you know this. I do/did love loving you. You let me be loving to you and I needed to do that. You awoke something in side of me that I loved feeling...I think I felt needed!
I wish I could hold you..
That's all I'm done for today..
Once more..nothing has changed. I looked at the group picture see you and feel the same as I did then. Amazing! I feel love!
How you touched my heart is unbelievable to me. Wish I could hold you; listen to you tell me things....
I miss you. I must be out of my ever love'n head! You are complex, difficult. Maybe even your own worse enemy? I don't know what it is....it's like I see pass all of that. I know you're brilliant and quick. You're quite amazing.
Anyway, I just saw the picture and these feelings came roaring back into my heart. I just had to express them.
The last time I saw you was good. I was becoming more comfortable. Before I was very careful; I didn't want to push you further away.
My most precious moment? When you were watching dynamite; all curled up in the blanket. Just your little nose, lips..and your hair.. my heart ached. I just wanted to hold you so badly.
Well, I have to go now.. I have to stop thinking about this stuff. But, I am so glad we had that time together..it was priceless to me. A gift! To me, your precious and beautiful...and loved, very much.
I think, no I know, that I think about you everyday. I know you don't feel love..so you probably just think I'm weak and a little sick...needy perhaps. Oh let me add a few more: sad, pitiful. Well, I'm not. I'm perfectly happy and as successful as I want to be. I don't really think I need..I just love loving. I loved loving you. God, I wish I could hold you. Remember how I had to hug..sorry. You don't like hugs.. I know. Or pictures, I know. Abandoned animals you love. Nobody is going to break through that protective barrier are they? Did she? Does she? Does anyone? I'm safe, stable and I'm not going anywhere and i love you very much. I just want you in my life. I wish you could talk to me easily like you do..others. You just think I'm a sick-o.
I'm not..I want you in my life and I don't want you in my life. You were difficult; and you know this. I do/did love loving you. You let me be loving to you and I needed to do that. You awoke something in side of me that I loved feeling...I think I felt needed!
I wish I could hold you..
That's all I'm done for today..
The Best I Can Be! I'm Blessed!
...and filled with gratitude. I am so grateful! Thank you! I feel good!
Sunday I ran a half marathon (13.1 miles in 2:12 ). Monday I rested. Tuesday I had worked out with K on the weight machines and swam a few laps then went to yoga class in the afternoon. Wednesday, I swam and went to yoga in the evening. Today, Thursday, I ran close to 12 miles I think, anyway, twice around the park. I had a blast running and listening to my MP3 player. I rocked! I had one Accel Gel before I started. I ran strong!
I look good! I'm solid like a rock! Of course I'm in love with myself! I deserve to be..besides there is absolutely nothing wrong with having pride and loving yourself..no matter (as a kid) how "fresh" my mother thought I was getting.
I'm 58 and flying high and very grateful I can be very active and without pain. I keep a positive attitude. I should love myself! I'm a minority in my own age group!
Do you know that most the women my age are on medication for high blood pressure, high cholesterol, or have diabetes and most never exercise or have ever exercised. No, thanks that is not for me. I've worked to hard and have come too far.
See that is my problem, I want a younger athletic woman. Actually, I'm more like 48, but mentally and physically, 38. Bring 'em on baby, I'll run you around the park any day..
So, dating is very slim, in fact, non-existent. I will not settle for less. Besides I want my summer love back again.
I want someone who is self-disciplined, determined, energetic, non-complaining. And will take their vitamins, eat correctly, exercise and do what is necessary to gain and maintain good health and youthfulness.
The younger gals can get away with it for now, but if they don't take care of themselves their poor habits will catch up with them. Trust me on this, I have watched my friends' health deteriorate.
But, I do realize I cannot change anyone. I have been trying to teach by example all my active life! Look at me, I'm youthful, painfree, slim and trim and most importantly I'm medication free! Most of my friends have never helped themselves to better their health. They are sedentary with poor food choices and over weight. One of my friends in her fifties was so surprised she became diabetic! That is amazing to me? So much denial! I can't believe it?
Where did I learn the correct way? Am I just observant! Wise? My friends might think that I am nuts, or weird, or lucky, or they don't want to think about it at all. They cannot relate! I am sort of an outsider. They have more excuses than I could ever imagine.
I started in my mid 30's to exercise again (on as a kid I rode my coaster brake bicycle all over on country roads) but as a teenager and young adult I was hanging out in the bars and lying by the pools smoking cigarettes. Yes, me! And getting flabby.
I got tried of living like that when a friend of mine told me how he rode his bicycle and played tennis. I was envious. I was gay, there was nothing in those bars for me anyway. I ditched them for tennis, running and bicycling. And started taking vitamines and supplements. I joined a gym. I looked good! I decided I wanted to be the best I could be at 40.. and baby I was. Then I thought I was so good all I needed was someone to share my life..a slight mistake...Well, not really, we did have many good years together.. but I lost myself in them. I went her way! I always had to go my mother's way..her love was conditional. Of course, I think, that now too with relationships.
At 50, I was the worse! By then I had turned over my life into my new found lesbian lifestyle and went her (and their way) fat and inactive. Little did I know I was depressed. I just turned all sexual feelings off and gave up. I thought I had enough sex with men before 40 to last a lifetime I guess? I don't know.. maybe I was depressed then already.
I looked bad between about 48 and 56. Then a light came on. What happened to me? I thought I could change people to a healthier life style but they changed me to a less attractive, and less healthier lifetstyle. I looked a mess. Fifteen pounds over weight (more like 20) and my hair cropped. I even wore men's clothes. God help me! I will never lose myself in a relationship again. I would rather be alone for the rest of my life. I had come "out" when I was 40, and then buried my own true self for the next 15 years.
During that time I spent a lot of hours daydreaming; like I did when I was a kid. Someone loved me and held me and kissed me..that was my dream. It's been a life long dream for the love and affection I never received as a kid; in fact, I was pushed away. Affection spoiled the child! These people were nuts and as cold as a Nazi officer!
Then one day when I was 56 and taking care of my then partner before, during and after her surgery, I fell in love! I fell deeply, for the first time in many years, for a straight woman, a doctor. When I even let her know, I knew it was time to change my life and I did.
I cleaned house! I did what I had to do. I divorced my ex and my family! I had to do both; just had to. My ex is/was very family orientated and wasn't helping me to separate from my family. We had no passion, but really were good friends (and still remain friends, for which I am grateful). I hate to end on a bad note..besides it always wasn't bad..we had many happy times..truly.
I live alone now and I am very happy to be myself. You see I can't be in a relationship. As much as I loved the one last summer; I totally went her way, so as not to lose her. I was losing myself in the process. I still love her very much; and would like to have a relationship. But, I don't want to be with her all the time. I miss her! I would love to date her once in a while and be intimate. I wish she could do that; just her and I. I don't even want mutual friends to know.
Some "friends" are annoying. Frankly, my personal intimate life is no ones business and I do not want to discuss any details like some of those M people do.
I'm about done with the group at M's. I like T, J, K, & C..but E is annoying. My K, whom I swim with and run with during the week, said she will do anything possible to avoid E. M's will be seeing less and less of me. Yes, I must.
I want to see my summer love; I will really miss her when the weather is nice and we run, then sit outside, and bicycle. Please come around again.
I wish we could have a relationship. A loving one! I wish you could be loving to me....
Anyway, enough of that.....I don't think she does repeat performances. She done with me and I know it.
So, I have a new love planned in my head and she' beautiful, warm, golden lovely and she is on her way....
I'm working with my spirit guides and the universe. I do have a lot of love to give. I'll be damn if it will go to waste; so someone very deserving will come along and she will be able to receive and give love. She will be perfect for me. We'll date and be intimate; but we won't live together ever..and I'll maintain my own life and space that is perfect for me. It will be easy to be myself when I am with her. She will love me unconditionally, just for me and I her.
I think my lesson to learn in this life is to always be myself and no one is better than I am; and if my object of affection won't let me be myself or makes me feel ignorant...then I'm out of there... don't need ya!
I had gotten to the point with my ex that I was afraid to speak; either she would correct me or look at me in a inpatient way that I couldn't think; I couldn't put my thoughts together. Her personality changed; she had become my mother.
The doctor saved my life; falling in love with her (god, she was so sweet and loving) saved my life.
And in my life now, I want someone who is very sweet and loving to love me. To just come to me and, kiss me, my head (cheek), and just love me. Put her arms around me, hold me, and love me and she'll be here soon...she is on her way.....
So, I've come a long way baby! I don't know why I want someone to love me so much...I'm better than half of 'em out there. I take care of myself as best I can. I am grateful. It's very important to be grateful. I have always been grateful for my many blessings, loves, good health, accident/pain free life. My wisdom, good fortune and happiness. I'm the best I can be - right now and that makes me very happy. I'm flying high!
Sunday I ran a half marathon (13.1 miles in 2:12 ). Monday I rested. Tuesday I had worked out with K on the weight machines and swam a few laps then went to yoga class in the afternoon. Wednesday, I swam and went to yoga in the evening. Today, Thursday, I ran close to 12 miles I think, anyway, twice around the park. I had a blast running and listening to my MP3 player. I rocked! I had one Accel Gel before I started. I ran strong!
I look good! I'm solid like a rock! Of course I'm in love with myself! I deserve to be..besides there is absolutely nothing wrong with having pride and loving yourself..no matter (as a kid) how "fresh" my mother thought I was getting.
I'm 58 and flying high and very grateful I can be very active and without pain. I keep a positive attitude. I should love myself! I'm a minority in my own age group!
Do you know that most the women my age are on medication for high blood pressure, high cholesterol, or have diabetes and most never exercise or have ever exercised. No, thanks that is not for me. I've worked to hard and have come too far.
See that is my problem, I want a younger athletic woman. Actually, I'm more like 48, but mentally and physically, 38. Bring 'em on baby, I'll run you around the park any day..
So, dating is very slim, in fact, non-existent. I will not settle for less. Besides I want my summer love back again.
I want someone who is self-disciplined, determined, energetic, non-complaining. And will take their vitamins, eat correctly, exercise and do what is necessary to gain and maintain good health and youthfulness.
The younger gals can get away with it for now, but if they don't take care of themselves their poor habits will catch up with them. Trust me on this, I have watched my friends' health deteriorate.
But, I do realize I cannot change anyone. I have been trying to teach by example all my active life! Look at me, I'm youthful, painfree, slim and trim and most importantly I'm medication free! Most of my friends have never helped themselves to better their health. They are sedentary with poor food choices and over weight. One of my friends in her fifties was so surprised she became diabetic! That is amazing to me? So much denial! I can't believe it?
Where did I learn the correct way? Am I just observant! Wise? My friends might think that I am nuts, or weird, or lucky, or they don't want to think about it at all. They cannot relate! I am sort of an outsider. They have more excuses than I could ever imagine.
I started in my mid 30's to exercise again (on as a kid I rode my coaster brake bicycle all over on country roads) but as a teenager and young adult I was hanging out in the bars and lying by the pools smoking cigarettes. Yes, me! And getting flabby.
I got tried of living like that when a friend of mine told me how he rode his bicycle and played tennis. I was envious. I was gay, there was nothing in those bars for me anyway. I ditched them for tennis, running and bicycling. And started taking vitamines and supplements. I joined a gym. I looked good! I decided I wanted to be the best I could be at 40.. and baby I was. Then I thought I was so good all I needed was someone to share my life..a slight mistake...Well, not really, we did have many good years together.. but I lost myself in them. I went her way! I always had to go my mother's way..her love was conditional. Of course, I think, that now too with relationships.
At 50, I was the worse! By then I had turned over my life into my new found lesbian lifestyle and went her (and their way) fat and inactive. Little did I know I was depressed. I just turned all sexual feelings off and gave up. I thought I had enough sex with men before 40 to last a lifetime I guess? I don't know.. maybe I was depressed then already.
I looked bad between about 48 and 56. Then a light came on. What happened to me? I thought I could change people to a healthier life style but they changed me to a less attractive, and less healthier lifetstyle. I looked a mess. Fifteen pounds over weight (more like 20) and my hair cropped. I even wore men's clothes. God help me! I will never lose myself in a relationship again. I would rather be alone for the rest of my life. I had come "out" when I was 40, and then buried my own true self for the next 15 years.
During that time I spent a lot of hours daydreaming; like I did when I was a kid. Someone loved me and held me and kissed me..that was my dream. It's been a life long dream for the love and affection I never received as a kid; in fact, I was pushed away. Affection spoiled the child! These people were nuts and as cold as a Nazi officer!
Then one day when I was 56 and taking care of my then partner before, during and after her surgery, I fell in love! I fell deeply, for the first time in many years, for a straight woman, a doctor. When I even let her know, I knew it was time to change my life and I did.
I cleaned house! I did what I had to do. I divorced my ex and my family! I had to do both; just had to. My ex is/was very family orientated and wasn't helping me to separate from my family. We had no passion, but really were good friends (and still remain friends, for which I am grateful). I hate to end on a bad note..besides it always wasn't bad..we had many happy times..truly.
I live alone now and I am very happy to be myself. You see I can't be in a relationship. As much as I loved the one last summer; I totally went her way, so as not to lose her. I was losing myself in the process. I still love her very much; and would like to have a relationship. But, I don't want to be with her all the time. I miss her! I would love to date her once in a while and be intimate. I wish she could do that; just her and I. I don't even want mutual friends to know.
Some "friends" are annoying. Frankly, my personal intimate life is no ones business and I do not want to discuss any details like some of those M people do.
I'm about done with the group at M's. I like T, J, K, & C..but E is annoying. My K, whom I swim with and run with during the week, said she will do anything possible to avoid E. M's will be seeing less and less of me. Yes, I must.
I want to see my summer love; I will really miss her when the weather is nice and we run, then sit outside, and bicycle. Please come around again.
I wish we could have a relationship. A loving one! I wish you could be loving to me....
Anyway, enough of that.....I don't think she does repeat performances. She done with me and I know it.
So, I have a new love planned in my head and she' beautiful, warm, golden lovely and she is on her way....
I'm working with my spirit guides and the universe. I do have a lot of love to give. I'll be damn if it will go to waste; so someone very deserving will come along and she will be able to receive and give love. She will be perfect for me. We'll date and be intimate; but we won't live together ever..and I'll maintain my own life and space that is perfect for me. It will be easy to be myself when I am with her. She will love me unconditionally, just for me and I her.
I think my lesson to learn in this life is to always be myself and no one is better than I am; and if my object of affection won't let me be myself or makes me feel ignorant...then I'm out of there... don't need ya!
I had gotten to the point with my ex that I was afraid to speak; either she would correct me or look at me in a inpatient way that I couldn't think; I couldn't put my thoughts together. Her personality changed; she had become my mother.
The doctor saved my life; falling in love with her (god, she was so sweet and loving) saved my life.
And in my life now, I want someone who is very sweet and loving to love me. To just come to me and, kiss me, my head (cheek), and just love me. Put her arms around me, hold me, and love me and she'll be here soon...she is on her way.....
So, I've come a long way baby! I don't know why I want someone to love me so much...I'm better than half of 'em out there. I take care of myself as best I can. I am grateful. It's very important to be grateful. I have always been grateful for my many blessings, loves, good health, accident/pain free life. My wisdom, good fortune and happiness. I'm the best I can be - right now and that makes me very happy. I'm flying high!
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Running with My Spirit Guides and the Universe
Dianne
2006/03/22 9:32 PM
I totally trust in the universe and myself because we work together. I dream, wish and want and get. I ran a great half marathon just the way I planned it. Even the wind was blowing in my favor. I like to think my spirit guides and the universe had a hand in that. The wind is not normally out of the east, that day it was..and pushed me back up the hills the second half of the race to the finish line.
The day before the run I mentally prepared myself and visualized the whole race. It paid off. I prayed to the universe and my spirit guides and they came through. My breathing was fabulous my legs strong, and my pace constant and true. The race went great. Normally, I'm tired the last mile and a half; but I was strong. I truly think if you believe enough it will happen. Never doubt and always think positively. Oh, the Accel Gel probably helped too! Good Stuff! Actually that and endorphines..and look out, baby! I'm flying high on life!
Watch the DVD "What the Bleep Do We Know?" and see that you can learn to plan your day. Yes, leave it up to the universeto help you, but direct your thoughts, lead the way..plan your day. Just maybe you have much more power than what you think..can't hurt to think that..so go for it.
Oh, and don't forget the Glucosamine Chondroitin, MSM, gelatin, calcium. Do you research and take the stuff..save your tissue and bone.
2006/03/22 9:32 PM
I totally trust in the universe and myself because we work together. I dream, wish and want and get. I ran a great half marathon just the way I planned it. Even the wind was blowing in my favor. I like to think my spirit guides and the universe had a hand in that. The wind is not normally out of the east, that day it was..and pushed me back up the hills the second half of the race to the finish line.
The day before the run I mentally prepared myself and visualized the whole race. It paid off. I prayed to the universe and my spirit guides and they came through. My breathing was fabulous my legs strong, and my pace constant and true. The race went great. Normally, I'm tired the last mile and a half; but I was strong. I truly think if you believe enough it will happen. Never doubt and always think positively. Oh, the Accel Gel probably helped too! Good Stuff! Actually that and endorphines..and look out, baby! I'm flying high on life!
Watch the DVD "What the Bleep Do We Know?" and see that you can learn to plan your day. Yes, leave it up to the universeto help you, but direct your thoughts, lead the way..plan your day. Just maybe you have much more power than what you think..can't hurt to think that..so go for it.
Oh, and don't forget the Glucosamine Chondroitin, MSM, gelatin, calcium. Do you research and take the stuff..save your tissue and bone.
I planned my run.
Before the half marathon on March 19th I meditated and visualized my run, the way I would feel, and how my muscles and clothes would feel.
It turned out perfectly. I would not have changed a thing. I was psyched!
My stomach felt great after a good dinner and ample sleep the night before. I had one Accel Gel pack before I left home to drive ten minutes to the start of the half marathon. I quickly joined friends, I knew they would be waiting in line at the porta potties. They were there - perfect. I was calm! Not surprisingly; I planned to be calm. I wanted this run to be ideal, because I am registered to run another half marathon April 9th. Now, I can hardly wait for it.
As I began my run, I took my time, actually you have to until the runners string out. I felt good! I felt the wind in my face - perfect and just the way I wanted it. I wanted the wind in my face for the first half and then have it pushing up the hills on the last half. It was perfect!
close to the park, the half way point, I had another Accel Gel. I am feeling good and the caffiene is kicking in, I know, becuase a women's constant heavy breathing over my right shoulder is getting on my nerves..and so is this little guy's foot slapping on the pavement thing that he is doing! I tell myself not to let it bother me. In the park I try to pass these people, but since we are all running about the same pace..it's impossible over a long distance to do it.
I finally let it go. I pray! It works. I don't know where these people are and I don't care. I don't speak to any one when spoken to, I can't. My breathing is timed and programed and I won't mess it up for anyone. I nod and give a thumbs up only. At the tenth mile..suddenly I can't believe there is only three more to go. I think about then I had my last Accel Gel pack because I wanted my finish to be strong and I didn't want to feel weak then either. I needed the potassium after the hills and I knew it.
I ran 13.1 miles in 2 hours and 12 minutes. It was magical. Two fellow group members who usually run faster than I do were behind me. Lauren and John. John had leg cramps. Tracey was part of the three spot cheering section (they kept moving to different locales in the park so we would past them three times) said John looked beat the third time she saw him. She said I look good and constant and strong.
Usually, I worry about having to pee...I planned that too. I didn't think about it and when I did think about it after drinking a little water, I had a slight urge, but knew it was mental.. I pushed on and soon forgot about it. Actually, I never go until well after breakfast when I finally got home.
I find I have learned even more discipline with breathing while doing yoga classes. With swimming too, I'm getting more lean! I am 58 and the best I have ever been. I even got a compliment last evening in my longer hair. Life is magical. Dream it, think it, want it, and you got it. Now, of course, that doesn't work as well on a love interest. Well, it did last summer and it lasted about as long as I thought it was going to last...because expected it to end. But, now I miss her terribly and want her back...Hmm?
I am magical.. I'm older than all of them and I am magical. Anyone can plan their day; just watch: "What the Bleep Do we Know" and see.
I was flying high for two days... I still am. What an enforphin rush! I am having a blast! I am magical!
Oops, going to be late for yoga..got to go!
It turned out perfectly. I would not have changed a thing. I was psyched!
My stomach felt great after a good dinner and ample sleep the night before. I had one Accel Gel pack before I left home to drive ten minutes to the start of the half marathon. I quickly joined friends, I knew they would be waiting in line at the porta potties. They were there - perfect. I was calm! Not surprisingly; I planned to be calm. I wanted this run to be ideal, because I am registered to run another half marathon April 9th. Now, I can hardly wait for it.
As I began my run, I took my time, actually you have to until the runners string out. I felt good! I felt the wind in my face - perfect and just the way I wanted it. I wanted the wind in my face for the first half and then have it pushing up the hills on the last half. It was perfect!
close to the park, the half way point, I had another Accel Gel. I am feeling good and the caffiene is kicking in, I know, becuase a women's constant heavy breathing over my right shoulder is getting on my nerves..and so is this little guy's foot slapping on the pavement thing that he is doing! I tell myself not to let it bother me. In the park I try to pass these people, but since we are all running about the same pace..it's impossible over a long distance to do it.
I finally let it go. I pray! It works. I don't know where these people are and I don't care. I don't speak to any one when spoken to, I can't. My breathing is timed and programed and I won't mess it up for anyone. I nod and give a thumbs up only. At the tenth mile..suddenly I can't believe there is only three more to go. I think about then I had my last Accel Gel pack because I wanted my finish to be strong and I didn't want to feel weak then either. I needed the potassium after the hills and I knew it.
I ran 13.1 miles in 2 hours and 12 minutes. It was magical. Two fellow group members who usually run faster than I do were behind me. Lauren and John. John had leg cramps. Tracey was part of the three spot cheering section (they kept moving to different locales in the park so we would past them three times) said John looked beat the third time she saw him. She said I look good and constant and strong.
Usually, I worry about having to pee...I planned that too. I didn't think about it and when I did think about it after drinking a little water, I had a slight urge, but knew it was mental.. I pushed on and soon forgot about it. Actually, I never go until well after breakfast when I finally got home.
I find I have learned even more discipline with breathing while doing yoga classes. With swimming too, I'm getting more lean! I am 58 and the best I have ever been. I even got a compliment last evening in my longer hair. Life is magical. Dream it, think it, want it, and you got it. Now, of course, that doesn't work as well on a love interest. Well, it did last summer and it lasted about as long as I thought it was going to last...because expected it to end. But, now I miss her terribly and want her back...Hmm?
I am magical.. I'm older than all of them and I am magical. Anyone can plan their day; just watch: "What the Bleep Do we Know" and see.
I was flying high for two days... I still am. What an enforphin rush! I am having a blast! I am magical!
Oops, going to be late for yoga..got to go!
Globalization and Selling Your Tax Information
Anything for a buck! The war on the middle class continues. Oh no, you don't get the money..the government does. Oh sure they will ask you for your permission to use your information. Yeah right! How do we know they are not selling your information as it is? Records sold to a data base company. Are accountants nuts? They are setting us up. H&R Block wants to do this and the IRS is letting it fly under the radar. The best tax deal money can buy...your government at "their" service. They, the government, probably doesn't even know your tax information is being sent all over the world since a communist China company bought the computer branch of IBM and are operating the 16,000 plus computers around Washington D.C.
Sixteen thousand computers around Washington DC will be ran by a Communist China company which has just bought IBM's computer section. The government said the selling was done with full compliance with regulations and laws. Okay, whose laws? Note: Communist China is secretly building up its troops now - all over the world. Pick up anything in the store and turn it over, you'll see "made in China". Bush has got this country in 14 billion dollars worth of debt..guess who is one of the major loan facilitors? Yes, China. You know China is housing millions of people and families are restricted to having one child. Most selected to keep males, until that became a reproducing problem..anyway I think many opt to raise larger families, but need the room; therefore, many have moved here. This country is big...lots of room..so move over.
As for as Iraq, Bush plans to keep the troops there and then let another president clean up his mess. I'm sure Haliburton is getting it's fill in the meantime and the Bush cronies are lining their pockets.
Oh yeah, finally, Bush a few years back, about ten, allowed huge SUV to slide by on the mileage economy restrictions..now he is forced again to re-instate strict fuel economy regulations. Come on GM and FORD, we look like idiots driving these extra large huge people-killing machines when the rest of the world is going small and gas economical.
Bush blames the media for the bad rap he is getting regarding the war in Iraq. She claims it is going well.
The church wants immigrants here to work the low paying jobs no one here wants to work (so the church says? One day you will work a job that is available and be damn glad you have a job - the way this government [and church] is running this country). What ever happened to the separation of church and state. Truth be told, they have been in bed together for a very long time.
The extreme bishop says parishoners should break the law to let ilegal immigrants in this country. The truth is that the church number of members is slipping and they want more members and they know that Mexican give ten percent to the church. If everyone argued any other way, they are trying to fool you..just follow the money. Those old white males of the church or looking for money and your young boys..oh, for alter boys of course!
I believe in separation of church and state so does CNN journalist Lou Dobbs. But these big shot bishops and archbishops want to be powerful..Rev. Richard Neuhaus said it will never be separated. Neuhaus says any politican brings his morals with him. But, the church wants to bring 20 million aliens to this country, yet over look poverty in the countries they come from. The church wants the religious to come to this country, make money here and spend it in the church...it's as simple as that people. If you think any other way..you are a fool. Again, follow the money!
Oh one more thing, whenever to see Bush speak to and interact with a group of people; it's all staged and planned with the proper quesions and answers ahead of time.
Sixteen thousand computers around Washington DC will be ran by a Communist China company which has just bought IBM's computer section. The government said the selling was done with full compliance with regulations and laws. Okay, whose laws? Note: Communist China is secretly building up its troops now - all over the world. Pick up anything in the store and turn it over, you'll see "made in China". Bush has got this country in 14 billion dollars worth of debt..guess who is one of the major loan facilitors? Yes, China. You know China is housing millions of people and families are restricted to having one child. Most selected to keep males, until that became a reproducing problem..anyway I think many opt to raise larger families, but need the room; therefore, many have moved here. This country is big...lots of room..so move over.
As for as Iraq, Bush plans to keep the troops there and then let another president clean up his mess. I'm sure Haliburton is getting it's fill in the meantime and the Bush cronies are lining their pockets.
Oh yeah, finally, Bush a few years back, about ten, allowed huge SUV to slide by on the mileage economy restrictions..now he is forced again to re-instate strict fuel economy regulations. Come on GM and FORD, we look like idiots driving these extra large huge people-killing machines when the rest of the world is going small and gas economical.
Bush blames the media for the bad rap he is getting regarding the war in Iraq. She claims it is going well.
The church wants immigrants here to work the low paying jobs no one here wants to work (so the church says? One day you will work a job that is available and be damn glad you have a job - the way this government [and church] is running this country). What ever happened to the separation of church and state. Truth be told, they have been in bed together for a very long time.
The extreme bishop says parishoners should break the law to let ilegal immigrants in this country. The truth is that the church number of members is slipping and they want more members and they know that Mexican give ten percent to the church. If everyone argued any other way, they are trying to fool you..just follow the money. Those old white males of the church or looking for money and your young boys..oh, for alter boys of course!
I believe in separation of church and state so does CNN journalist Lou Dobbs. But these big shot bishops and archbishops want to be powerful..Rev. Richard Neuhaus said it will never be separated. Neuhaus says any politican brings his morals with him. But, the church wants to bring 20 million aliens to this country, yet over look poverty in the countries they come from. The church wants the religious to come to this country, make money here and spend it in the church...it's as simple as that people. If you think any other way..you are a fool. Again, follow the money!
Oh one more thing, whenever to see Bush speak to and interact with a group of people; it's all staged and planned with the proper quesions and answers ahead of time.
The Church and Government
The church was in the adoption business until the adoption of a baby by two lesbians hit the media. No more! The hell with those babies.
I thought the church was made up of love? Evidently not! What is more important is up holding their authoritarian principles and high conservative standards; inspire of their double standards and hypocritical ways.
I thought the church stood for love? Doesn't all religions espouse loving thy neigbor..
But, if they loved everyone and if no one was deviant, they wouldn't be a need for religion, right? So, deviance has to be generated and established in order to have problems to fix!
We are nothing more than pawns to be used to their advantage.
Government: It seems better late than never
I thought the church was made up of love? Evidently not! What is more important is up holding their authoritarian principles and high conservative standards; inspire of their double standards and hypocritical ways.
I thought the church stood for love? Doesn't all religions espouse loving thy neigbor..
But, if they loved everyone and if no one was deviant, they wouldn't be a need for religion, right? So, deviance has to be generated and established in order to have problems to fix!
We are nothing more than pawns to be used to their advantage.
Government: It seems better late than never
Debra Lafave the Teacher
Did Debra Lafave benefit from a double standard because she is beautiful? Who cares - you look into those baby blues and tell her she must go to jail.
Besides what fourteen old boy doesn't have sex with an older woman?
True she should have used good sense. I hope given a second chance she does.
Does she really suffer from bipolar disease? I don't think there is a chemical test for it, is there?
What man in that court wouldn't have done her a favor. Do you think they will want favors in return?
The hazards of being beautiful! Too bad they didn't respect herself enough and sold herself out. Now she appears less beautiful with the lost of her honor.
Seems to me she may have low self-esteem if she allowed herself to mess around with a kid. She knew better! Now, I almost feel sorry for her! I'm a sucker for a beautiful face.
Now, that the world knows about her I bet she gets offers right and left for porn, advertisements, TV talk shows and reality shows. What a spectalcle, suddenly Debra Lafave is famous! I have a feeling her new found popularity and future professions will increase her bank account substantially.
Besides what fourteen old boy doesn't have sex with an older woman?
True she should have used good sense. I hope given a second chance she does.
Does she really suffer from bipolar disease? I don't think there is a chemical test for it, is there?
What man in that court wouldn't have done her a favor. Do you think they will want favors in return?
The hazards of being beautiful! Too bad they didn't respect herself enough and sold herself out. Now she appears less beautiful with the lost of her honor.
Seems to me she may have low self-esteem if she allowed herself to mess around with a kid. She knew better! Now, I almost feel sorry for her! I'm a sucker for a beautiful face.
Now, that the world knows about her I bet she gets offers right and left for porn, advertisements, TV talk shows and reality shows. What a spectalcle, suddenly Debra Lafave is famous! I have a feeling her new found popularity and future professions will increase her bank account substantially.
Last Evening
I'm behaving more like myself and the girls are opening up. So, all in all M's was okay. I just can't talk about loves and sex and all like they do..it's more precious to me. It's not a joke to me! Truth be told, I cannot relate to the majority of the regulars.
Love is a gift..
Good thing, I love myself. The more physically fit I get, the more I do love myself. In all actuality, I know that I am quite something.
Hey, I work hard and I look good! I love it! I'm all I have! I'm at the point where I love working out hard. Yesterday, K and I worked out on the weight machines and in the afternoon I went to yoga.. I signed up for ten more weeks of classes. I also have a continue run of yoga classes set up on Wednesday evening. Damn girl, I look good!
Tomorrow, I want to go swimming.. I can barely wait. I wanted to get in the pool today..but there were some older women my age in the swim lanes doing their aerobic exercises. I'm telling you, I'm in a class of my own.
Dating on line.. well, no younger person is going to look up into my age category .. so I have to pursue them. So far it's not panning out too well.
I asked my spirit guides to help me.
Thursday I might swim again. Friday K and I are running And Saturday morning at 8 AM ( in case you care to join us) I'm meeting K, T&J to run around the park twice. They have been running for nine minutes and then walking for one minute. I'll do it that way.. my shins and calves and been aching just a wee bit. I'm running the Spirit April 9th half marathon too.
Hey, miss you, thought you would be running with us. Well, okay don't. But, don't forget about bicycling with us on organized rides this spring and summer. Are you still in love? Why don't you resurface some time? I'd love to hear about your work and things. I would love to see you. I hope you are well.
Maybe I don't want to see you. I would just fall in love all over again and make a fool of myself stumbling over my words..tripping over my feet. I'm an idiot!
I hope I never see you again!
Okay, I'm getting tired..sleep tight. I just kissed your cheek and forehead and stroked your hair. I'm curled up next to you, close. You're so quiet when you sleep...so adorable.
Love is a gift..
Good thing, I love myself. The more physically fit I get, the more I do love myself. In all actuality, I know that I am quite something.
Hey, I work hard and I look good! I love it! I'm all I have! I'm at the point where I love working out hard. Yesterday, K and I worked out on the weight machines and in the afternoon I went to yoga.. I signed up for ten more weeks of classes. I also have a continue run of yoga classes set up on Wednesday evening. Damn girl, I look good!
Tomorrow, I want to go swimming.. I can barely wait. I wanted to get in the pool today..but there were some older women my age in the swim lanes doing their aerobic exercises. I'm telling you, I'm in a class of my own.
Dating on line.. well, no younger person is going to look up into my age category .. so I have to pursue them. So far it's not panning out too well.
I asked my spirit guides to help me.
Thursday I might swim again. Friday K and I are running And Saturday morning at 8 AM ( in case you care to join us) I'm meeting K, T&J to run around the park twice. They have been running for nine minutes and then walking for one minute. I'll do it that way.. my shins and calves and been aching just a wee bit. I'm running the Spirit April 9th half marathon too.
Hey, miss you, thought you would be running with us. Well, okay don't. But, don't forget about bicycling with us on organized rides this spring and summer. Are you still in love? Why don't you resurface some time? I'd love to hear about your work and things. I would love to see you. I hope you are well.
Maybe I don't want to see you. I would just fall in love all over again and make a fool of myself stumbling over my words..tripping over my feet. I'm an idiot!
I hope I never see you again!
Okay, I'm getting tired..sleep tight. I just kissed your cheek and forehead and stroked your hair. I'm curled up next to you, close. You're so quiet when you sleep...so adorable.
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Was Fine Yesterday - What Happened?
It seems my spirit, my core, my soul needs to be loved and needs to love; to touch, to hold.
To feel the warmth and presence; to hear a heart beat, a sign. To feel a kiss on my cheek, my lips, my breast, my belly.
I get so close to it; the touch. But, then I can't have it. I'm not wanted in that way. It's breaking my aching heart.
I miss the passion, the warmth, the idea of love..because I know passionate love doesn't really exist.
I miss my summer love. And now, this...this dangling before me, out of reach. I'm a human being, I need love, touch and warmth. I have needs and desires. Sometimes it's hard to have it in front of me and then know it's out of reach.
Hey, spirit guides! I think I need some help me....this life is killing me!
First, I have this cold family; then I was kid, grew up at a time, when friends didn't even hug. Kids and women are degraded. I remember, needed a hug so bad, just a hug.
And then I tried to live the straight life...well, I got the sex and the touch then..but I couldn't feel the love, if it was there at all. I couldn't relate to words of love. I was empty inside; it wasn't me talking, it was someone else.
And now, the only love I've know is gone, the one last summer, and my heart is aching for her touch. I never knew love like that before her.
I need to be make love to in the worse way. Right now there are only two people whom I want to love me in this fashion and they are both out of reach.
Is that how my loveless parents screwed me over. I only can relate or not relate to out of reach loves? I am so screwed!
Okay, spirit guides, the challenge is on...I'm asking you to help me out here. I need love and affection and much more, I need to be able to feel it coming to me and I need to experience mutual love. I need your help! Don't let me die without another love..times wasting away. I look good! But, I'm not getting any younger here...
So spirit guides...lend me some help, soon.
To feel the warmth and presence; to hear a heart beat, a sign. To feel a kiss on my cheek, my lips, my breast, my belly.
I get so close to it; the touch. But, then I can't have it. I'm not wanted in that way. It's breaking my aching heart.
I miss the passion, the warmth, the idea of love..because I know passionate love doesn't really exist.
I miss my summer love. And now, this...this dangling before me, out of reach. I'm a human being, I need love, touch and warmth. I have needs and desires. Sometimes it's hard to have it in front of me and then know it's out of reach.
Hey, spirit guides! I think I need some help me....this life is killing me!
First, I have this cold family; then I was kid, grew up at a time, when friends didn't even hug. Kids and women are degraded. I remember, needed a hug so bad, just a hug.
And then I tried to live the straight life...well, I got the sex and the touch then..but I couldn't feel the love, if it was there at all. I couldn't relate to words of love. I was empty inside; it wasn't me talking, it was someone else.
And now, the only love I've know is gone, the one last summer, and my heart is aching for her touch. I never knew love like that before her.
I need to be make love to in the worse way. Right now there are only two people whom I want to love me in this fashion and they are both out of reach.
Is that how my loveless parents screwed me over. I only can relate or not relate to out of reach loves? I am so screwed!
Okay, spirit guides, the challenge is on...I'm asking you to help me out here. I need love and affection and much more, I need to be able to feel it coming to me and I need to experience mutual love. I need your help! Don't let me die without another love..times wasting away. I look good! But, I'm not getting any younger here...
So spirit guides...lend me some help, soon.
Monday, March 20, 2006
Kicking Back!
Now this is living! I'm just sitting back with my laptop, watching Medium, my favorite TV show, and enjoying the heat, smells and popping sounds from the fire. Drinking coffee! Loving it!
It's raining. I am so glad I can stay in this evening. I'm only going to go to M's tomorrow evening if J calls and she is going. I don't want to see D, because I just got my mind set where I am very content along. My heart is not aching right now! I am happy and I feel great. The half marathon (2:12) did wonders for me! Friends cheering, priceless!
My legs are a little achy still. I've been taking potassium, Ibuprofen and Glucosamine Chondroitin.
Gotta go, commerical is over...
It's raining. I am so glad I can stay in this evening. I'm only going to go to M's tomorrow evening if J calls and she is going. I don't want to see D, because I just got my mind set where I am very content along. My heart is not aching right now! I am happy and I feel great. The half marathon (2:12) did wonders for me! Friends cheering, priceless!
My legs are a little achy still. I've been taking potassium, Ibuprofen and Glucosamine Chondroitin.
Gotta go, commerical is over...
South Park
Attacking Scientology...Tom Cruse come out of the closet. I knew it!
Way to go South Park. This will only increase there viewing audience...when's it on again. I know I will be tuning in. Watch it on Comedy Central at 10 Eastern.
Way to go South Park. This will only increase there viewing audience...when's it on again. I know I will be tuning in. Watch it on Comedy Central at 10 Eastern.
Empty House
The House of Representative have spent a whole 97 days at work this year. Well, you know, it's an election year. They claim they need to spend more time at home with there constituents.
But, do we really want them there anyway? Seems, however, they managed to vote write a bill giving themsevles a huge wage increase every year. Amazing!
They all need to be voted out in the fall.
Sen. Russ Feinnold suggested we impeach Bush or censor him. I'd say it's a fabulous idea. This is the year that the Democrats need to shake the GOP up; you know, just as the GPO did to Clinton. Jefferson was the last president to be censored and silenced and we have never heard from him again. Oh, accept you see his face everyday when you reach for a twenty dollar bill.
Now Congress wants to roll back some of the safe guards that were put in place to protect us against identity thief. What next? What is this to help out Bush's illegal aliens? The man is useless! A moron! A dolt!
Bush needs to be impeached if he used wiretapping without going through the proper channels and rules. It's time for the Democrats to begin...
But, do we really want them there anyway? Seems, however, they managed to vote write a bill giving themsevles a huge wage increase every year. Amazing!
They all need to be voted out in the fall.
Sen. Russ Feinnold suggested we impeach Bush or censor him. I'd say it's a fabulous idea. This is the year that the Democrats need to shake the GOP up; you know, just as the GPO did to Clinton. Jefferson was the last president to be censored and silenced and we have never heard from him again. Oh, accept you see his face everyday when you reach for a twenty dollar bill.
Now Congress wants to roll back some of the safe guards that were put in place to protect us against identity thief. What next? What is this to help out Bush's illegal aliens? The man is useless! A moron! A dolt!
Bush needs to be impeached if he used wiretapping without going through the proper channels and rules. It's time for the Democrats to begin...
An Era of Disenlightment
Since 1950 the USA population has doubled. The middle class in USA is shinking. Because illegal or legal aliens will do the work for next to nothing. Most poeple now are at the low end of the middle class and are having to work two jobs to make ends meet.One in five of the workforce in Texas are illegal. Bush is ignoring this!
Bush allows big corporations to ship the good paying jobs overseas. Bush is aggainst union which have for approximately forty years upheld integrity and safety in the work place. People died trying to get unions to organize just so factory workers could have decent working conditions and wages.
Our country is becoming very depend on foreign money, loans, workers, materials...it's the great American Sell Out! Even our harbors are not safe. Even our utilities power and gas are being sold off to foreign countries. Is Bush NUTS!
If these foreign countries decide to pull the plug we are doomed!
Now we are allowing foreign countries to built nuclear plants here?
Government officials are not leaders; they are followers - they follow the money. They will sell us out in a heartbeat for a buck!
In my opinion G. W. Bush is a dumb puppet and daddy and his cronies are still pulling the strings and are in cahoolts with the Saudi's. It's all about the oil. Could the Saudi's be blackmailing the Bush dynasty? Hmm?
Kevin Phillips who wrote "American Dynasty" said it all very clearing in his book. Kevin Phillips' new book: "American Theocracy" The Republican are combining religion with their politics and it's screwing up politics. This is an era of disenlightment. A lot of Americans are stupid enough to believe the second coming is soon to happen; maybe they think he is already here and it's "W" . How stupid are these people? They are working for less money, that is if they even have a job and they still think Rush and Bush are gods! And Bush is making an ass out of the American people by allowing illegal immigrants and allowing corporations to ship work and jobs overseas to third world countries who will work for next to nothing. Maybe you should read a little more and watch CNN and MSNBC. We need to educate ourselves.
But, on another note...by 2008 all election polls will be electronic and computerized. I am predicting that all the polling devices will be somehow controlled by one central figure...guess who? Hmm, let me predict what party will win in 2008 - again! Hey, if we can do it in Florida, why not the whole country? Just a little food for thought..
Bush allows big corporations to ship the good paying jobs overseas. Bush is aggainst union which have for approximately forty years upheld integrity and safety in the work place. People died trying to get unions to organize just so factory workers could have decent working conditions and wages.
Our country is becoming very depend on foreign money, loans, workers, materials...it's the great American Sell Out! Even our harbors are not safe. Even our utilities power and gas are being sold off to foreign countries. Is Bush NUTS!
If these foreign countries decide to pull the plug we are doomed!
Now we are allowing foreign countries to built nuclear plants here?
Government officials are not leaders; they are followers - they follow the money. They will sell us out in a heartbeat for a buck!
In my opinion G. W. Bush is a dumb puppet and daddy and his cronies are still pulling the strings and are in cahoolts with the Saudi's. It's all about the oil. Could the Saudi's be blackmailing the Bush dynasty? Hmm?
Kevin Phillips who wrote "American Dynasty" said it all very clearing in his book. Kevin Phillips' new book: "American Theocracy" The Republican are combining religion with their politics and it's screwing up politics. This is an era of disenlightment. A lot of Americans are stupid enough to believe the second coming is soon to happen; maybe they think he is already here and it's "W" . How stupid are these people? They are working for less money, that is if they even have a job and they still think Rush and Bush are gods! And Bush is making an ass out of the American people by allowing illegal immigrants and allowing corporations to ship work and jobs overseas to third world countries who will work for next to nothing. Maybe you should read a little more and watch CNN and MSNBC. We need to educate ourselves.
But, on another note...by 2008 all election polls will be electronic and computerized. I am predicting that all the polling devices will be somehow controlled by one central figure...guess who? Hmm, let me predict what party will win in 2008 - again! Hey, if we can do it in Florida, why not the whole country? Just a little food for thought..
Sunday, March 19, 2006
I'm still flying high!
After the run, a woman who ran along side of me much of the way, complimented me on my steady stride and even pace. I was truly flattered.
I am still flying high. Wendy thought it is the kicked up endorphins and I believe it. My metabolism got a kick in the head. I love it! But I think the total of four packs of Accel Gel which contains protein, carbs and caffiene is contributing; especially the caffiene.
John who is six foot probably weights 150 or so, burned over 2,000 calories running 13.1 miles today; that's a full days worth of calories.
It was a fabulous day. I am happy and enjoying my life. I love where I live, so close to my friends and activities. Finally, I'm alive.
Oh and my ex-partner but still very good friend is happy with her new love. And I'm geniunely glad and happy for them.
No, I'm not feeling sorry, that I have no one special in my life. I had a fabulous love last summer. I will treasure the memories for eternity. But now, I don't know, I think I'm in a place where I am just kicking back, loving all my activities and the time I spend with my friends. I'm a happy free spirit in love with life.
I am still flying high. Wendy thought it is the kicked up endorphins and I believe it. My metabolism got a kick in the head. I love it! But I think the total of four packs of Accel Gel which contains protein, carbs and caffiene is contributing; especially the caffiene.
John who is six foot probably weights 150 or so, burned over 2,000 calories running 13.1 miles today; that's a full days worth of calories.
It was a fabulous day. I am happy and enjoying my life. I love where I live, so close to my friends and activities. Finally, I'm alive.
Oh and my ex-partner but still very good friend is happy with her new love. And I'm geniunely glad and happy for them.
No, I'm not feeling sorry, that I have no one special in my life. I had a fabulous love last summer. I will treasure the memories for eternity. But now, I don't know, I think I'm in a place where I am just kicking back, loving all my activities and the time I spend with my friends. I'm a happy free spirit in love with life.
Brazil and Ethanol
85% gas and 15% ethanol and Flex Fuel cars by Chevrolet. But oil is a brith right in the USA. The USA says there is a large demand for very hug vehicles so they build them. Same fuel economy as 20 years ago. USA keep saying fuel is no problem. If oil got $100. a gallon it would bring the USA auto industry to a stop
In Brazil 25% Ethanol in every gallon of gas and all cars are Flex cars with cmean they can run auto by sensor ethanol or gas. Brazil biggest industry is sugar cane and nothing is wasted of the crop.. sugar is producted and ethanol. Next year Brazil will be fuel independent for everything will run on ethanol. Brazil learned from the oil energy crisis in the 1970's.
It's a crisis NOW and the USA needs to move beyond our fuel dependency. GM is talking a 300 mile range fuel cell technology; but it's decade within reach.
How about making fuels from wheat stalls. Bush "American is addicted to oil". USA is years behind the rest of the world because, personally, I think the Bush dynasty is in cahoots with the Saudis. It feels to me that American is not addicted to oil; but that the Bush Dynasty is addicted to the Middle East! Ironically, the Saudis have us over a barrel; an oil barrel!
The USA would rather spend 17 billion dollars in Iraq. Bush needs to tend to his own's country's needs. Our country is being pasted up by other super powers such as Japan and China and we are beginning to look at as stubborn backwater fools.
BP only advertises that they are doing their best to reduce our independence on foreign oil; but are they really? BP used to stand for British Petroleum now they say it stands for Beyond Petroleum. Gee! British Petroleum, what ever happened to American Oil? Is anything American anymore? Amazing isn't it?
In my opinion the American auto industry must be in cahoots with the big oil companies. Maybe they just say American demands super sized vehicles. Listen, the general public is easily persuaded. The American Auto industries pushes big equates to manliness.
What slays me is how gullible the America people are. We like the government and anyone else, even Rush Limbaugh to THINK for us. We need to think and read between the lines. Sems we are in capable of reading, listening and evaluating things for ourselves. We can't seem to use common sense. The government/auto industry/ big oil companies tell us that it would cost more to start up ethnaol factories or refineries in this country. My opinon: Bullshit! The ethanol factories in Brazil or small, boilers, strainers. Use common sense people. It's a simple computerized mechanism in cars that senses fuel or total ethanol that is going to be burned. Wake up! We are being burned, by our own. I think they call that self destruction!
We better get our shit together!
Why does American talk fuel cell cars which will be available in the next ten years....think people. Just maybe government, auto and oil industry are in cahoots? Hello?
Their are enough farmers in this country growing corn etc., that right now we could be foreign oil independence. But, you know what, the farmers in this country are independent; they are not big industry. But, you know, if someone was really smart a big corporation would hire farmers under contract to buy their grains and make ethanol. It could be done easily enough.
In Brazil 25% Ethanol in every gallon of gas and all cars are Flex cars with cmean they can run auto by sensor ethanol or gas. Brazil biggest industry is sugar cane and nothing is wasted of the crop.. sugar is producted and ethanol. Next year Brazil will be fuel independent for everything will run on ethanol. Brazil learned from the oil energy crisis in the 1970's.
It's a crisis NOW and the USA needs to move beyond our fuel dependency. GM is talking a 300 mile range fuel cell technology; but it's decade within reach.
How about making fuels from wheat stalls. Bush "American is addicted to oil". USA is years behind the rest of the world because, personally, I think the Bush dynasty is in cahoots with the Saudis. It feels to me that American is not addicted to oil; but that the Bush Dynasty is addicted to the Middle East! Ironically, the Saudis have us over a barrel; an oil barrel!
The USA would rather spend 17 billion dollars in Iraq. Bush needs to tend to his own's country's needs. Our country is being pasted up by other super powers such as Japan and China and we are beginning to look at as stubborn backwater fools.
BP only advertises that they are doing their best to reduce our independence on foreign oil; but are they really? BP used to stand for British Petroleum now they say it stands for Beyond Petroleum. Gee! British Petroleum, what ever happened to American Oil? Is anything American anymore? Amazing isn't it?
In my opinion the American auto industry must be in cahoots with the big oil companies. Maybe they just say American demands super sized vehicles. Listen, the general public is easily persuaded. The American Auto industries pushes big equates to manliness.
What slays me is how gullible the America people are. We like the government and anyone else, even Rush Limbaugh to THINK for us. We need to think and read between the lines. Sems we are in capable of reading, listening and evaluating things for ourselves. We can't seem to use common sense. The government/auto industry/ big oil companies tell us that it would cost more to start up ethnaol factories or refineries in this country. My opinon: Bullshit! The ethanol factories in Brazil or small, boilers, strainers. Use common sense people. It's a simple computerized mechanism in cars that senses fuel or total ethanol that is going to be burned. Wake up! We are being burned, by our own. I think they call that self destruction!
We better get our shit together!
Why does American talk fuel cell cars which will be available in the next ten years....think people. Just maybe government, auto and oil industry are in cahoots? Hello?
Their are enough farmers in this country growing corn etc., that right now we could be foreign oil independence. But, you know what, the farmers in this country are independent; they are not big industry. But, you know, if someone was really smart a big corporation would hire farmers under contract to buy their grains and make ethanol. It could be done easily enough.
Create My Day!
I did it! I created my day!
Have you ever watched "What The Bleep Do We Know?".
It started last night while thinking about the half marathon race today that I was going to do. I was in control. I was calm, my stomach was fine, my body felt great. I was ready.
I wished for the wind to come from the East to push me toward the finish line on the second half of the run. Guess what? Was it synchronity, wishful thinking. The spirit guides were with me on this one!
Heading out from the start on the way to park when I felt the wind in my face I knew it! It was just what I dreamed of; wished for.
Wind in the face downhill; wind pushing my back up hill!
You guys rock!
I feel good! No wear and tear at all!
You guys rock!
Okay, guys! I got a bigger challenge this time. I want her back in my life. Yes, I do. I know she's difficult, head strong, stubborn...adorable, brilliant and lovable. I want her back!
Just maybe loving is hard for her. Just maybe nothing ever lasted very long. A restless soul this one.
I want to love her! Do you hear me I want her in my life. And I don't mean one-sided. Just be caring about her. I want her touch. Hearted connected.
I can't and I won't let her go. I can't get the image of her out of my mind. I see her before me. She stirs my heart this one. I can't let her go.
Okay, I don't want to let her go.
She's perfect to me.
I am one nut case!
She cares for me, I know she does. She was good for me and I for her. We got afraid.
This time we keep our spaces. Our distance.
God, I hope she doesn't read this.
I know there is her reality to all of this...no, I don't want to hear it or face it..........I can't hear you......
Have you ever watched "What The Bleep Do We Know?".
It started last night while thinking about the half marathon race today that I was going to do. I was in control. I was calm, my stomach was fine, my body felt great. I was ready.
I wished for the wind to come from the East to push me toward the finish line on the second half of the run. Guess what? Was it synchronity, wishful thinking. The spirit guides were with me on this one!
Heading out from the start on the way to park when I felt the wind in my face I knew it! It was just what I dreamed of; wished for.
Wind in the face downhill; wind pushing my back up hill!
You guys rock!
I feel good! No wear and tear at all!
You guys rock!
Okay, guys! I got a bigger challenge this time. I want her back in my life. Yes, I do. I know she's difficult, head strong, stubborn...adorable, brilliant and lovable. I want her back!
Just maybe loving is hard for her. Just maybe nothing ever lasted very long. A restless soul this one.
I want to love her! Do you hear me I want her in my life. And I don't mean one-sided. Just be caring about her. I want her touch. Hearted connected.
I can't and I won't let her go. I can't get the image of her out of my mind. I see her before me. She stirs my heart this one. I can't let her go.
Okay, I don't want to let her go.
She's perfect to me.
I am one nut case!
She cares for me, I know she does. She was good for me and I for her. We got afraid.
This time we keep our spaces. Our distance.
God, I hope she doesn't read this.
I know there is her reality to all of this...no, I don't want to hear it or face it..........I can't hear you......
Don't You Know?
I hope I see you this evening; I would rather, then not. I want to know how work is going and tell you about my friend L's bosses getting fired.
I want you to go bicycling with me this summer and maybe kayaking.
Going to places we have gone together is tough. I mean tough. So be nice to me and help me out..meet me half way. Ask me questions. Sit next to me. Give me signs that you still care.
Forget and touch my leg when you sit next to me, or my hand. Let me love you!
I loved loving you, don't you know?
What we had was special, deep and meaningful.
I saw a sweetness in you...like no other. I touched your heart and held it close.
I wished you there you know, when I met you. I wished for you. I dreamed of you, saw you and knew it.
It only took me a little while to fall. You were loney so was I. You made the ache go away. We may be apart, separate but I still feel connected and think of you all the time..every day.
If thinking is wishing..then you'll come back again. We'll do it different. Just you and me, no one else will know.
Why do you say you don't do relationships..I don't understand. You're still with this one... or was that a dating? Help me to understand.
You are brilliant and I want to learn more. I shouldn't really go tonight, I'll be looking for you. I hang onto your every word because it's hope to my heart.
I wouldn't go but I want to touch base; you know.
It's just being around them makes me think of you and how I miss you.
I want you to go bicycling with me this summer and maybe kayaking.
Going to places we have gone together is tough. I mean tough. So be nice to me and help me out..meet me half way. Ask me questions. Sit next to me. Give me signs that you still care.
Forget and touch my leg when you sit next to me, or my hand. Let me love you!
I loved loving you, don't you know?
What we had was special, deep and meaningful.
I saw a sweetness in you...like no other. I touched your heart and held it close.
I wished you there you know, when I met you. I wished for you. I dreamed of you, saw you and knew it.
It only took me a little while to fall. You were loney so was I. You made the ache go away. We may be apart, separate but I still feel connected and think of you all the time..every day.
If thinking is wishing..then you'll come back again. We'll do it different. Just you and me, no one else will know.
Why do you say you don't do relationships..I don't understand. You're still with this one... or was that a dating? Help me to understand.
You are brilliant and I want to learn more. I shouldn't really go tonight, I'll be looking for you. I hang onto your every word because it's hope to my heart.
I wouldn't go but I want to touch base; you know.
It's just being around them makes me think of you and how I miss you.
One Down and One to Go!
What a great run! I finished 13.1 miles in 2 hours and 15 minutes. I was flying high! I had energy down to the finish line. I'm tired but excited! My endorphins are rocking!
A fabulous day with fabulous friends friend. There was about ten of us to ran ahd half marathon and about the same number that cheered us on. What a great bunch! The wind beneath my wings!
Tonight, L Word at K's. I'm tired but going T&J will be there too. I think I'll get there after 7:30 are round about then.
What a day! What a fabulous good! And I looked good!
I may never match with a special someone, I don't even care. I have enough love for me today for two people.
Guess I'm in my own category, most people my age or not at all like me. Kristi, says and I love it, they are the typical fifties and not at all like you. Now, she's the wind beneath my wings. She's the one that say I'm hot and quit the catch.
You know what, either there is a god are we create our own reality and environment. I needed someone like her to boost my ego...and here she is. She's 32 and we are good friends.
Okay, on April 9th is another half marathon...I'm ready baby, bring it on.
No, I won't do a full marathon. It's not necessary. That's twice the distance that I did today. No! Don't even think it!
I just want to stay fit and trim not half kill myself. Besides, I enjoy swimming, bicycling, yoga and the weight machines. I'm good with running the half-marathon.
So, one down and one to go on April 9th. Then bicycling rides will start up.
A fabulous day with fabulous friends friend. There was about ten of us to ran ahd half marathon and about the same number that cheered us on. What a great bunch! The wind beneath my wings!
Tonight, L Word at K's. I'm tired but going T&J will be there too. I think I'll get there after 7:30 are round about then.
What a day! What a fabulous good! And I looked good!
I may never match with a special someone, I don't even care. I have enough love for me today for two people.
Guess I'm in my own category, most people my age or not at all like me. Kristi, says and I love it, they are the typical fifties and not at all like you. Now, she's the wind beneath my wings. She's the one that say I'm hot and quit the catch.
You know what, either there is a god are we create our own reality and environment. I needed someone like her to boost my ego...and here she is. She's 32 and we are good friends.
Okay, on April 9th is another half marathon...I'm ready baby, bring it on.
No, I won't do a full marathon. It's not necessary. That's twice the distance that I did today. No! Don't even think it!
I just want to stay fit and trim not half kill myself. Besides, I enjoy swimming, bicycling, yoga and the weight machines. I'm good with running the half-marathon.
So, one down and one to go on April 9th. Then bicycling rides will start up.
Saturday, March 18, 2006
I'll Be A Winner!
It's a sunny day and I have great friends..what more can I ask for. No the matching is not panning out; well, not so far...but that's okay. Besides the only plus is the sex (sometimes that's good; sometimes - who knows?) and I would probably love her more than she loves me and I would have to do the things she wanted and give up at least 50% (more like 80%) of my freedom. Sounds cold? Sounds sensible to me. I'm not meant to be in a relationshp anyway.
I'm not good in relationships anyway. I have found that poeple only love you best when they are in complete control of me.
I just made a discovery! I believe we learn how to love by the way our mothers have loved us. Is that interesting or what? My mother was cold and self-serving. My father was there but not there and only there to punish and ridicule.
So for me, I believe love is conditional. If I do things your way, then you will love me; if I don't then you won't love me. It's exactly how it was with my mother. The woman controlled me by manipulated and used me to serve her own needs.
I was mostly alone as a kid. We lived way out in the country with no close neighbors. So, relating to friends is hard at times. Sometimes I worry more than I need to. I know deep within I'm a little too sensitive. I'm not needy; however, but find comfort in my aloneness. I can control my surroundings when I'm alone. It's safe! But sometimes I need to be held...I fight that feeling off...but my heart aches on.
I wasn't going to go out tonight because of the half marathon tomorrow morning. Staying home is safe. But, now I am going. I hope it takes my mind off the run.
I know that I will be find tonight and tomorrow morning.
Tomorrow morning I will be flying high....spirituality. My spiritual guides will glide me along. They will be the wind that is slightly pushing at my back. I'll fly around the muny circlepass the spectators and K's camera. My spirit guides will left me up and carry me toward the west bound hills.
I'll fly high like I did when I was a kid. My body almost moving faster then my feet.
I will look good; feel good, be fast and smooth without pain with my spirit guides gently pushing me. I'll be a winner! I'll be a winner in my own class.
Hey with great friends surrounding me and cheering for me...I'm already a winner!
I'll be a winner in my own class because truly there is no one else like me. I'll be fine, I'm beautiful..
I'm a winner already!
I'm not good in relationships anyway. I have found that poeple only love you best when they are in complete control of me.
I just made a discovery! I believe we learn how to love by the way our mothers have loved us. Is that interesting or what? My mother was cold and self-serving. My father was there but not there and only there to punish and ridicule.
So for me, I believe love is conditional. If I do things your way, then you will love me; if I don't then you won't love me. It's exactly how it was with my mother. The woman controlled me by manipulated and used me to serve her own needs.
I was mostly alone as a kid. We lived way out in the country with no close neighbors. So, relating to friends is hard at times. Sometimes I worry more than I need to. I know deep within I'm a little too sensitive. I'm not needy; however, but find comfort in my aloneness. I can control my surroundings when I'm alone. It's safe! But sometimes I need to be held...I fight that feeling off...but my heart aches on.
I wasn't going to go out tonight because of the half marathon tomorrow morning. Staying home is safe. But, now I am going. I hope it takes my mind off the run.
I know that I will be find tonight and tomorrow morning.
Tomorrow morning I will be flying high....spirituality. My spiritual guides will glide me along. They will be the wind that is slightly pushing at my back. I'll fly around the muny circlepass the spectators and K's camera. My spirit guides will left me up and carry me toward the west bound hills.
I'll fly high like I did when I was a kid. My body almost moving faster then my feet.
I will look good; feel good, be fast and smooth without pain with my spirit guides gently pushing me. I'll be a winner! I'll be a winner in my own class.
Hey with great friends surrounding me and cheering for me...I'm already a winner!
I'll be a winner in my own class because truly there is no one else like me. I'll be fine, I'm beautiful..
I'm a winner already!
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