Wednesday, October 31, 2007

Not this Halloween

Not a good year (a hot topic no, no) to put the hanging man halloween figure in the tree people! Ease up! I can understand why and agree that a rope noose should not be displayed. Racial hatred is wrong!

In the News

Google stock price is up to 700. per share. A month ago it was 600. Wow!

A yet another gay political person bites the dust! And he's out of there! Curtis is the latest political Republican hypocrite to be opened. Yipee! He voted against homosexual bills. It's just a shame people feel they cannot be themselves....just out yourself and live in truth and integrity.

And another story. A father of a fallen gay Marine soldier is awarded over 11 million in a case against Fred Phelps the founder of a Christian church in Topeka, Ks. Fred Phelps must really be a latent homosexual otherwise why would he be so angry and out to get homosexuals. He hates himself and so he picks on the likes of others. Acts of unkindness and hate will never get you into heaven Fred Phelps. One poster read "gay dies and is in hell". Fred said god is pissed and punishing this nation. Fred Phelps is pissed because he was put on trial for what he preaches.

Another story. Tulsa, Oklahoma is very serious about stopping illegal aliens. Do not give one a ride...are you will be arrested as this one person was. Seems a judge in Tulsa is doing the work that the FBI should be doing...but I guess Bush is holding them back. Then there is the governor in New York who is creating three tier driver's license so illegal aliens can drive in this country.

Back to Curtis the Republican Rep who was arrested for soliciting sex. Non-protected sex is what he wanted! And he was dressed in women's negligee. You know, some of these arrogant guys do not make themselves appear too savvy and I am so glad these hypocrites are being outed. Face it! If every homosexual in the world suddenly turned the color purple we would all be amazed at the very large portion of the population that is gay. There is nothing wrong with being gay...there is only something wrong with being a hypocrite and preaching and voting one way and then secretly living another. This is what is wrong!

We al need it, you know..

Do you know that WE all need SEX! Yes! Like breathing and sleeping..it's important. Now I can't vouch for heterosexual sex even though I've had it with several partners in my younger, straighter days. I just don't get straight sex. Sorry! To me it is dirty, selfish and nasty! Well, the church teaches that too you know; anyway, it did when I was a kid. And don't put your hands between your legs....the priest looked directly at me when he commanded that and shook his finger. What evil people make up the church! What a horrible abusive phase of my life! It seems like another world - an evil world. How did I ever survive?

I guess my spiritual guides were watching over me. Finally around age forty I came to my senses and realized that I was a lesbian. I love sex with women - I can give as well as receive. I was born to make love to a woman. No wonder the hetero sex felt so foreign and selfish on a man's part..he took. He was happy. He was satisified. I was unfilled. Something was missing. Yes, you can love a person, sex can feel good even reach orgasm, but something can be missing. I never really connected emotionally or spiritually with a man. I had nothing to give and really didn't want to reciprocate love making.

But we all need sex according to doctors of mind and medicine and me - I agree. We need intimacy.

I can't begin to figure out the past or the lack of things that I needed. I began life socially, morally, and spiritually in a negative state and since then have been determined to move in the positive. I believe I am almost there. But still have that nagging sense of wanting to please and needing to feel accepted. Oh the hell with it! They are not important! I can only please myself!

So, onward and upward I move into a new dimension of self-hope, love and creativity....speaking of which...it's time to get back to work.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

Can't Wait To Come Back..and do it again..

The young women of today are so....out there! So powerful! So self-confident! So into everything! Oh why was I born SO SOON and in such isolation and into such a concentration camp? I was not encouraged to excell. No, they were not the wind beneath my wings. I began in a "negative" and had to pull "myself" up to zero and then try to rise about it all. What a struggle...that and being a "woman" (so not worth anything!); that and be a LESBIAN! I had more negatives than positives....holding me in my misery.

But, thank the universe, I'm still here and finally into my own....my artistic own...

The cosmos is in my favor...the universe shines in my favor. I will shine.

It saddens me to see loving, bonding, families. I never trusted mine. I always had a sense of suspicion and a hollow feeling inside in their presence. I was scared as a little kid. No hugs. No encouragement, no gentle boose towards higher education...towards a better life. They thought it was impossible for me to surpass their own expectations of their lives. I was stuck.

I can't wait to come back and do it over again. I've already picked my family type. Brillantly intelligent. I can't wait! My family - very loving! Very encouraging. I'll live in civilization...I'll be a doctor and a marvelous musican. Yes, I'm planning it even now.

Now, for the rest of my future here. Lots of sweet sex and companionship and love. Remodeling. Cute sports car. New set of clubs. And I'll stay mysteriously healthy, active, agile, youthful way less than my years, happy, brilliant, creative, wonderfully talents in art and music and song. I'll do wonderous things....I can't wait. Tomorrow is a new day; a brand new life.

Monday, October 29, 2007

talk, talk, talk,

and being careful not to say anything. Dancing around the real issues...of our dependency of OIL.

No, they do not want us to know that this administration and present supporting businesses want to make a lots and lots of money up to the last drop of oil that lies beneath the sand in the Middle East. It's exactly why we are there. Where ever there is oil, we will find a way to get there and dominate the area. Why do you think we are in Iraq? This administration has giving tax breaks to the people who buy super gas guzzling SUV's. Burn that oil - drive up the price per barrel of oil which is reaching the century mark now.

Why do you think we are spreading over into Iran? We want control of the oil. Who cares if fossil fuel energy contributes majorly to the destruction of our planet! Dominance is more addictive than wealth. Power! This country espouses power.

Why? Why not develop non fossil fuel energy. We can develop power plants from air turbulence. Why not use the force of the volumes of water in the ocean to generate power plants? We have build dams before to generate power? No one mentions this!

The truth is - as long as there is oil to be pumped and money to be made by the Bush dynasty, which includes large energy corporations, we will go to war over oil! War keeps industry in service. Ike Eisenhower warned in 1961: "Beware the Industrial War Machine".

This war machine is holding back our social advances. Yes! Espousing the hate of gays is a side track from the real issues and promotes bonding and votes for the war machine. Right now there are over 100,000 private companies (many ran by retired generals and other service personnel) in Iraq making loads of money....tax payer's money! This administration has ignored the wants and needs of it constituents and concentrated on a few monetary gains. See the DVD "Iraq for Sale: War for Profiteering". Also see the DVD "Who killed the electric car?" See we know what is going on..yet no one does anything about it...most people are not even aware. Most people live in a tempory false economical state of affairs..as long as they can continue to receive credit...they turn a blind eye. Most people are about one month away of losing their homes...if they should suddenly find themselves out of a job..or in a lower paying jobs. Expenses of cost of living have increased but the average job wages have decreased or stayed the same. Most people are knee deep in student loans which will take years of working to get out from under. We will never see anything again like the free college educations offered to veterians of the Vietnam era.

The hell with the environment for the want of power, dominance, wealth and OIL. So what if CO2 destroy the earth. Global warming is being ignored by this administration...because much of it is caused by the use of fossil fuels.

And now China, India and Russia are getting on board and producing more air pollution as they become even more industrialized.

As they will be with scarce water supplies as the earth warms..nations will be scrambling over water. Water wars will be fought. The Shad lake in Africa is drying up. The rain forest in Brazil are being destroyed. The elite balance is nature is being thrown off by money and greed.

We are destroying our own home. Where are the fundamentalist Christians? They are siding with the present administration..for what? Empty promises - Bush will never deliver. Or are the Christians still paying for that "no tax" bill long ago granted to religious groups. Now you tell me church and state or separate!

Why are religious groups not taxed (oh, non profit?). Community service? I don't agree. Look at the few rich in these groups too! It's all a hoax anyway and people are ignorant are desperate enough to follow and believe anything spoken in the name of the so called "lord". Human beings wrote the bible and all it's teachings to self serve their need to rule and dominate.

There as been murder and wars over religion. Do we really need religion? Oh please! We know what is right and wrong. "Do unto others"! We don't really need religion. Oh it brings people together for charity events. If the government did their job correctly we would not have to create these grass roots groups to care for our citizens. The money is going to an already rich few groups of the population, the middle class is depleting and poverty is increasing at a rapid number. Most people are living out of their means already...it is just a matter of time and a lose from out sourcing of work to put them over the edge into homelessness and ultra poverty. Our government is doing it to us. No wonder more and more banks are being built everyday...look at all the interest they are collecting...some people's endless debts! Yeah the Greenspan's of economics have it all figured out.

What is need is a selfish administration that could easily get with industries and build the first most super modern society on earth! Why not be first with the NEW techniques of super space age societies. First with medical, monetary, industrial, clean environment, planet saving techniques. The government just need to get rid of lobbyist and give incentives to new cheap energy methods. Let's futuristic the USA. Instead we are stuck, out of greed, in the 18th century at the time of the birth of the industrial age.

As a nation we need to be much more advanced then what is are now...we are stagnant in the flirt of oil..we need to move beyond our monetary dependency on OIL. We should be much more advanced socially and technically as a society then what we are. We are not leaders; but, savage war mongers of dominance over depleting oil. It's running out! It's time to move on to new technical fuel adventures...not be scrambling as the last drop trickles out of the sand.

Yes, we are a reactive society and we need to be a proactive society. Innovative is what we need to be. Large corporations still swaddling in dirty oil need to get their acts together and begin seriously promote new clean fuel resources...not just empty commercials but actually doing something.

What this administration and businesses have done is to deplete trust with the American people. We cannot trust our administration to be looking out for OUR best interest. Nor, can we trust medical industries and insurance companies to be looking our for our best interest. I put off mammograms because I do not trust the medical arena. Number one, they have to pay for their machines. Number two, if there is indeed enough radiation to cause breast cancer with mammography then that just drums up more business.

How can we possibly trust government and business? Why as soon as you watch into the car showroom they are ready and willing to "rip you off". Health insurance companies promise coverage and then bail on you when you need the coverage and our government does nothing about this. The better business bureau is a hoax! I'm sure that organization was created out of a band aid type fix. Words are cheap but are readily used to appease the population; but, words are shallow with nothing in place to back them up.

Can women do better? Does anyone have any ethics in Washington? And take the word "trust" off the currency will you, because there are no trust worthy people in Washington. It's a city of greed and superiority of dominance fueled with collateral damage.

Saturday, October 27, 2007

A Positive Future

My horoscope for today October 27th, 2007

A Positive FutureLibra Daily Horoscope

You could be excited about the opportunities that are available today, and this could make you feel hopeful about your future. Since you might be looking at the future in a positive way, you may feel that there are no obstacles in your way and that you can achieve anything you set your mind to. Seeing the bright side of things today can help you put your optimistic intentions out into the universe, which could make it possible for you to manifest your dreams. As you watch your mind for your thoughts and feelings about upcoming events and hopes in your life, you may want to reflect upon the tone of your thoughts. If they do appear to be slightly negative, you can stop yourself and change the nature of your thoughts so that you are in a positive frame of mind. Doing this might help you dispel any fears you have about the future.

See a positive attitude makes all the difference in the world. Today I saw her in my mind...confident and knowing where she is going...as she flies the plane. I wish I could watch her. What a hoot! I think she is sooooo cool! The car is driven that way too...long legged, braced and sure. She knows exactly where she is going. Maybe in my next lifetime I'll be half as assured and brilliant as she is in her life now. God love the good doctor.

Oh what a feeling.....to think positive thoughts. I believe positive thoughts and the contents of our thoughts can transform dreams into realities.

I am so excited about the future because I know that I have people in high places looking out for me. I ask for the day to be magical...and it is!

Last night (excuse me for saying...) but the sex was magical.. Absolutely magical. You know I can't be with her...but she is in my mind and heart. I see her face. She takes me there. I can't explain it. (Oh yes I can...I have friends in high places....yes, the spirit world). It was so wonderful that I actually cried, silently, in the dark, unbeknown st. Heavenly spiritual guidance of my very own. If I'm sounding slightly far out...well I am and it was! We've discovered a new sound track of enhancement - disco. Yes, Donna Summer and the likes there of.. Oh, and a Margarita or two to smooth out the kinks.

Hey, I'm only going upon a suggested prescribed by a doctor who wrote about the post-menopausal women who should meditate, exercise and have sex regularly.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Jann Arden....so cool!

I wish Jann Arden would come to St. Louis. She is from Alberta Canada. I love her music.

I was first introduced to her one weekend when I had a lay over in Dallas, Texas. I was watching the local NPR fundraiser with Anne Murray. Gotta love her too. And Anne Murray intro ducted Jann Arden who sang "Insensitive". I think you'll like it. I was hooked. I have bought all of her some six or eight CD's. I think that trip was in 2002 or early 2003...my life changed drastically after that..divorced a family (well -whatever - the blood ones), ended a fifteen year relationship (I still love her we are very good friends..she is my family..). Moved to another state. And it all started with this song and falling in love with a doctor..who was very sensitive!! She remains in my heart. I found my niche now, I think. I want to love her I'm here if she needs me. Our hearts connected..I'm not going anywhere.

You know how things in your life change and during that change in the fall of 2004 and winter of 2005 I listened to Jann Arden intently. I've moved, got into art, yoga and scuplturing. Last night while reading I listened to "Cronin" by Anne Murray a classic standards eighteen song CD. It's fun! Songs like "Teach me tonight" and "Old Cape Cod". Funny, I know all the words...

Anyway, I saw the Anne Murray CD laying there on the lamp table just now and remembered how much I like Jann Arden. She's singing to me now. Classic! If you are interested or curiuos, here is her wedsite address http://www.jannarden.com/ Enjoy! She has a wonderful journal there too and writes very well.

So, now, back to reading. I'm starting "On Globalization" by George Soros. Sound interesting? I just finished "Deluxe" by Dana Thomas a jounalist. Very interesting about high fashion, high prices, knock-offs and fakes and the global market. I also just read "An Age of Turbulence" by Alan Greenspan. No! Actually a good read. He wrote it in lay man's terms. It was a re-cap in history. Have you ever heard of the G7? It's us and six other countries that Alan Greenspan meets with - or did. There is also a G28..yes, more countries. We have to meet with other countries in these modern global markets.

Back to reading. Check out Jann Arden. Let me know what you think. Watch your heart... she'll steal it!

Same day...the music moved me..

Well, I guess the music did move me....good stuff on my little Ipod Shuffle...because I ended up running 14 miles. Yeah.

Well actually it didn't go that bad. I was grooving to the tunes and daydreaming that I was a singer and everyone loved me :) Hey, it's my reality...I'm mentally creating this stuff and who knows...maybe one day (she'll love me). No, I know she loves me already...I'm in her heart.

It's wonderful to be loved. Over the weekend I helped my friends stain their deck and she said she loved me..that I was a good friend. And to keep her in mind if I should need anything. And I'm getting to the point in my life where one day I just might take her up on that offer. Because helping one another is fun and good for the soul.

My friend whom I helped as been very sweet to me lately... I wonder just how far did that conversation with the good doctor about me go? Although it doesn't matter because I am so amazed that "I" even came up in the conversation. After all it was her doctor's appointment. I love that doctor...it's been three years. I can't see her..because I had (still have) a crush on her. God I love her! I can't believe the good doctor actually remembered me much less be so concerned. She touches my heart. I will never forget her and always be in love with her. God she moves me! A regular weekly afternoon delight would be very sweet and bonding. God and our hearts would be so close together once again...only maybe not aching so much .....but maybe just maybe singing praise.

Yes, the run went wonderfully well on this beautiful fall day with clear crisp air. Don't you love the angle of the sun this time of year. What is it at the 23 or 26 degree parallel longitude now? Where as in summer the sun is higher over North America somewhere around the 36 or 38 parallel longitude. I love the long shadows and the way the grass blades glisten in the low angled sun shine. And the sky! The sky is so blue in contrast to the bright orange and yellow leaves of the oaks and maple trees. This is my favorite time of the year so I was just enjoying myself. And the humidity is low and I could breath like no body's business. Only after mile nine did my legs begin to ache and I felt a little tired.. So I just wipe out Honey energy packet and then I was better. I made it up the hills out of the park and headed back home. My legs are good now. Think I'll sculpture a bit. I took a potassium tablet and two glucosamine chondroitins tablets. I feel good. And besides I spoke to my sweet little young friend this evening...she always makes me feel good after talking to her.

Disco via Bose Fan

Well the day began in a subdued matter..slept in late (got to bed late). Got up and began to read a bit then decided to update my Ipod Shuffle and whipped out a few disco Diva of Disco CD's and I haven't stopped moving since..that was over an hour ago!

I've never done yoga to disco before. I think music is the beat of the soul - well mine anyway. I feel and move agelessly about my condo. I'm high on the beat. Shoulders and hips grooving and swaying in opposite directions. I'm an ageless sixty year old in love with herself.

As I pumped out thirty push ups I'm reminded I'm even better at sixty then at was at thirty. At 30 I never spent three consecutive days running 13.1 miles, then riding 100 miles on my bicycle then on the third day swimming one mile. I'm cook'n!

Gotta go and get running. I'm so in love with life. Thank you universe for protecting me (and my loves) from illness and injury. Keep my car safe too will you...we've grown attracted...it's been ten years now...she's as sound as the day I bought her - Toyota - of course!

Thank you universe for my gift of hearing via my friend from the good doctor. I love her! After three years and so busy with her life and work...she is still concerned. That was her in the airplane that day - over my east side condo where I stood watching from my back patio. That was her - no one flies a plane that way ---- down the right-of-way circling back - facing me - low if only I could have seen past the glare of the windshield I would have seen her beautiful face and blond hair. I love her!

The Good Doctor

The Good Doctor
Her favorite color is blue I'm sure of it. She flies. I think of her all the time - still just like I told her so three years ago. She is god to me!

She is god to me because even after all this time she cares and is concerned. She has a heart of gold that I have never seen the likes of and extends way past her profession. I spotted it right off and that is why I fell in love with her. I can't see her anymore and I miss her but she is in my heart and I believe I in hers.

She takes the time from her busy schedule and all her responsbilities to think about me (us) and be concerned. See, it's no wonder I love her. I pray my spirit guides watch over her too and I thank the universe for her many blessings and mine too.

Monday, October 22, 2007

Fire Bird

A green parrot saved the night and the people in the house as he sounded like a fire alarm and woke up the family when he smelled and saw smoke. He made the sound so loud that he succeeded in waking up the family.

Mom, dad and son are singing praise to little Pete. They had no idea he would or could do something like that. He is their guardian angel and they only had him for two months.

Daddy shed tears looking admirably upon Pete in his cage. "He's our Guardian Angel!" It looked to me that Pete knew exactly what he what he did and was proud to be a hero. Of course he saved his own little green neck too. He was probably screaming "get me out of here!"

He's the hero of the day.

A Giant Leap for Womankind

Tomorrow the space shuffle Discovery blasts off with a woman sitting in the Commander's seat and up at the international space station, a female skipper will be waiting to greet her.

It's the first time in the 50 year history of space adventures that two women are in charge of two spacecraft at the same time.

NASA shuffle commander if Pamela Melroy, age 46, and station commander is Peggy Whitson. age 47, Melroy is a retired Air Force colonel.

Pamela Melroy is doing a two week space station construction mission and Peggy Whitson is doing a six-month expedition. Peggy Whitson is a biochemist with a Ph. D.

Forest Fires

With global warming the earth temperature has risen one degree. Doesn't sound like much does it. How can that do any damage?

The Western part of our country is experiencing super heat forest fires covering 200,000 size acres. We could lose half of the forest in the west within ten years if these fires keep up. In the Southwest along 300,000 acres are completely burned off.

Climate change is very evident. The Southwest's temperature, drought are causing maga fires the likes of anything ever seen before in our history.

And you still don't think global warming is occuring Mr President? Do the Fundamentalist Christians still think Al Gore's "Inconvenient Truth" is just that - inconvenient listening? Just don't want to hear it?

Personally, I am glad that I am as old as I am and that I do not have grandchildren. We are destroying our own planet due to profiteering. Of course we are! We are destroying lies in needless wars over an old fashion greed for OIL and global rule and dominance. We want to rule the world. Fine, Cheney, go right ahead, there won't be anything left to rule.

Forest fires are not the only things contributing to the decline of the human race. The strangely greedy leaders in every continent around the world allow more and more people to starve to death. Why? Amongst all of the straving. Get a load of this. I just read in "Deluxe" by Dana Thomas: "In 2006 China offically had three hundred thousand millionaires, Russia eighty-eight thousand, India seventy thousand. In 2004 Russia had thirty-three billionaires, more than any other city in the world. " Amazing!

You know at time I think I'll be glad to leave this planet and escape the human race of bigots, raciest, selfish greedy war mongers.

Maybe women do need to head govenments and men are failing miserably because they are so worried about beating the next guy to the monetary, monarch finish line. They could care less about their people. Look at N. Korea. The people are straving there Kim their leader spends all the money on nuclear war heads. Our country is becoming the same way...dominance and greed are the words of the day.

But really nothing is different from the beginning of time...so called religious wars in the name of god. Oh please!

I say more women are needed in business and government they sure couldn't do any worse. However, they must not be pursuaded by the male population....but for themselves.

Women will save this planet if it is going to be saved at all. We need to all work together to fight global warming not this false threat of terrorist scare tactics to gain global rule...Mr. Bush.

Nine eleven just didn't appear out of the blue... I believe it was orchestrated....by let's say...friendly fire....just mere collateral damage...just like all the Iraqi citizens and soldiers who have needlessly died...over oil and global rule.

You know what I think would be really humerous would be if we the old-fashion ones would remain hooked on oil and other countries have already developed soy oil or other oil replacements and we are left stuck in the 1900 century.

The Middle East, South America and China could ruin us in a heartbeat by stopping all oil flow and cutting off "made in China" imports and by defaulting on our trillions of dollars debt. Instead of making ourselves independent with new technologies we have made ourselves even more dependent on other countries. They have us over an "oil" barrel and we (our in cahoot with business government) is just too greedy and blind to see.

Do you know that in 1963 there were only a handful of lobbyist in Washington? And they were there for government contracting. Today there are 33,000 lobbyist perched at Washington's door. Who are the fools? Lobbyist have done nothing but run up election campaign cost. The government could easily put a tap on election costs.

Valerie Plame is "hot"! She lives in Santa Fe. Some how, I feel the urge to travel - just kidding :) She's hot but her husband Joe Wilson could use a fashion update..starting with a little hair color. Oh, maybe he's okay and it's just the lesbian in me thinking that....

Oh I must get "Fair Game" Valerie Plame's new book. Since 2003 when her name was leaked by our administration, she is out of a job..uncovered.

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Life is so...

Sunday, October 21, 2007

Life is....
mystical and magical and wonderful. She remembered me. The good doctor remembered me. She saved my life back then...she heals me when I think of her. I fell in love with her and my life changed. I still think she probably just thinks I'm weird. I hope not! She will forever be in my heart!

She remembered from three years ago. Her busy life. Her busy schedule...all the really important things she does...yet she remembered and asked and was concerned. I will love her forever. She remembered. I am so impressed! What doctor would remember or even bother. I love her very much.

I knew that there was something very extraordinary about her when I met her. Now SHE is god! She is about the warmest, loving, most caring person I believe that I have ever met.

My heart ached in her arms. Her heart hurt! There was just this wonderful spiritual and magical connection that I don't think will ever fad.

What a wonderful person she is...

Saturday, October 20, 2007

pure magic

No wonder I was thinking alot about her recently. I wonder - was she thinking about me too!

I miss her - the good doctor. I miss her.

She asked about me and was concerned and was glad my ex and I are still friends that we live around the corner from one another. She has a partner now...I don't really. Don't want one...want you.

Our hearts connected that day when they were held close..connected to the point of aching.

I miss her terribly. She is god to me. Sweet and warm. Brilliant and brave. She is so high above me...I can't look into the eyes. I have nothing to offer...only love, warmth and stolen hours in afternoon...tender embraces.

I had (have) a crush on her...so I can't see her anymore. Odd.

I wish her love. She is the most loving, wonderfully warmest person I have ever met. How can anyone not love her. I want to crawl into her arms and stay there forever. I'm already in her heart and she in mine. I ache for her.

I wish her love and peace and everything wonderful....and clear blue skies to fly. How I would love to fly with her...

I'll go to sleep now and dream about her...sweetly.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Multidimensional.....that we are..

October 9, 2007The Life Of Your DreamsWaking Up
Many of us are familiar with the experience of waking up to the fact that our lives are no longer working the way we have set them up. Sometimes this is due to a shift occurring inside ourselves over time, and sometimes it is part of the larger shift that is currently affecting all humanity. Change is happening at such an increased rate that it is difficult to predict what the future holds. As a result, many of the old ways of planning out a life are no longer applicable, and if we cling to them we feel strangely out of tune with reality. If we are in tune with the energies around us, we will begin to question ideas that just a few years ago seemed sensible. In the simplest terms, the shift we are undergoing right now has to do with recognizing ourselves as being more than human, remembering that our earthly aspects are a very small part of who we are. In truth, we are multidimensional beings. When we begin to realize this, the life we planned for a limited conception of ourselves no longer fits. We must meet the needs and qualifications not only of our bodies but also of our souls. This realization dawns slowly for some and with the suddenness of a bolt of lightning for others, and we all must find the way that works for us to integrate this new and larger sense of self into our life plan. Sometimes a drastic change feels totally right, and overnight we might decide to sell our home and move to another country or quit our job and begin a second career. Other times, we allow the changes to proceed slowly, beginning perhaps with allowing ourselves to dream of a new life or just to ask the deeper questions that encourage us to discover our true purpose in life. Either way, know that this process is a natural sign of the growth we are all going through, and trust it to guide you to the life of your dreams.

So after reading the above... I write...

I believe in the spirit world and the powers of the universe. I have opened myself up to it since I have been visiting a channeled spirit for over ten years now. And for the past few years I realize now that I have been on a spiritual mission. Here's the story. I think my life changed to enable a spirit passed to hook up with her 30 year life partner also in the after life. But in retrospect it seems through another human being had to be involved to patch up the relationship. Thus enters my new friend. I took my new friend to speak to my channeled spirit. She had told me about her deceased friend whom she was very close and came between the two women at one point. Evidently the one never truly forgave the other and after passing kept away. One passed in 02 and the other in 03. My life changed in 03, about the same time. I think this passed spirit was looking for someone who visited channeled spirits...me. So my mission began to get this woman (my new friend) there to patch up the situation so these two could reunite in the afterlife. Sounds far out? You should hear the tape! When my friend told me her friend was spiritual I said. "I believe she watches over you." When she spoke about her again I said. "I bet she would like to speak to you". She was right there waiting to be asked to speak to my friend. My spirit friend whom I speak to via a channelor. Saw her and asked my friend is there someone you wish to speak to? Yes and she named her. Later in the conversation via the spirit, my friend asked if she was with her life partner? She replied. "No, and I miss her." The channeled spirit asked if she would like to be reunited and asked my friend her full name. "Oh, she comes fast. They intertwine. They melt together'. It was magical! I truly believe that I was on a spiritual mission to help reunit those two because I felt so certain about my actions during the whole process. I was unknowing, of course, until after the fact, but in retrospect I believe I was spiritually guided by the one spirit to get my now new friend there to reunite those two. Of course I got what I needed to in the process..a special relationship with my new friend. So, the spirit who guided me to help herself also helped me out of a wrong long term relationship into a new one. But along the way; however, I fell for someone whom I cannot get out of my mind (before I met my new friend)..so after the mission this person is still always on my mind. I believe her to be my catalyst to change; out of the troubled relationship that I was in. I just don't understand why now that I see this certain person...that I still think about the other..all the time. First thing in the morning....last at night. So what's going on with that? I have no connection with her..only that one brief event that led us together for a short time. Our souls connected.. So, we'll see what happens next. I do believe we are multidimensional beings as today's message says. I feel change..more change on the way. I do believe this pull I feel on my heart for this person I only knew briefly in person but spiritually...she never leaves my heart. I'm thinking...now... that I was heading to be with this one..whom I fell so hard for..but got pulled in another direction by this spirit looking to hook up with her life partner..so now that the mission is over..maybe, just maybe..I'll somehow reunite with the one I fell so hard for...because if I am not meant too...why do I think about her (not my current new friend) all the time. So what's going on? I feel her prsence...I see her face.. I feel her heart like the day she held me close...I feel her heart..and she said it "hurt"...like mine did.."hurt"..the timing was not right..then

Unstable homes in La Jolla

Pesonally, I don't think I would be able to sleep at night in one of those homes knowing that the ground underneath is unstable. Oh, they are not getting rain, but people are watering their lawns and saturating the loose soil and maybe causing their own land slides?

Oh yes, the view and neighborhoods are beautiful. Pretty much all built in the 60's yet more are being built above the already exiting homes. They thought the soil was based on hard rock. Not true.

Is it time to sell or hang on for dear life?

Here we go again..

another religious leader and associates in trouble for personal spending of university funds and calling under aged boys between 1:00 AM and 3:00 AM. Hello Utah! Oral Robert's U is in the lime light this time.

Gay! Gay! Gay!

Personally, I believe religious institution leaders like to sneak. It's more exciting when it's "wrong" and "sinful".

It's the that the rest of the homosexual population suffers in their evil hypocritical shadows. In my opinion all organized religions are evil and perpetuate "hate"! For without the "sinner" they are "out of business" of playing this "god" that they have made up.

The bibles were written by mere morals...men! And modern man are fools enough to interpret and use these writings to suit their evil ways.

There is nothing wrong with being homosexual; however, there is something terribly wrong with religious groups signaling out a certain groups or groups to discriminate against - typical action of fundamentalist Christians.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Marijuana, politics, religion and hate

Just what in the world is wrong with making marijuana legal? It certainly isn't and more addictive than cigarettes. We sure have some idiot politics and politicians in this country!

I see jobs and money to be made for the tobacco companies. Let them process marijuana! Of course without additives! In my opinion marijuana cigarettes would be no worse than "regular" cigarettes.

Okay, not going for that? How about allowing people to buy a certain amount each month for pain. Prescription not necessary. Make marijuana affordable. Just limit the purchase amount per person.

Mitt Romney wouldn't answer a young man's question about legalizing marijuana for medicinal purposes. And then Romney says. "I'm not in favor of legalizing marijuana."
"Not even for medicinal purposes?" The young man speaking from his wheel chair painfully asked.

Romney continues on moving on the reception line, shaking hands. ...doesn't want to be bothered by the way man's questions still heard in the back ground. The next guy says..aren't you going to answer his question? He fought for this country? Romney continues on. "I'm not in favor of legalizing marijuana".

I guess the pharmaceutical companies would frown and any natural pain relief other then man made drugs - for profit. High profit!

I think we have the weirdest religion inspired ( for votes) government. We have a government geared by the religious and the industrious. Politicians, business people and religious are in favor of war where murder is legal....oh excuse me self-defense. Not in this case. They didn't attack us. But again they are against abortion which is the most personal decision any woman as to make and should be up to her and her alone. I say mind your own business on this one.

And homosexuals. Oh, stone them to death.....because the bible says it's so. Please! Let's face it..testosterone makes for potential hateful actions. If they don't understand you....they'll kill you...that is how full of ignorance and hate males are (can't say I see women engaging in this type of behavior - unless brainwashed by males). Oh, and they call themselves religious and god like.....don't make me puke!

Saturday, October 06, 2007

I've had enough of patriarchial, authoritarian rule

havn't you?

Aren't you sick of war and domineering men telling you what to do?

Oh, I understand that there has to be organizational legal social laws and standards to follow..that makes sense.

But wars and religious bullyings? I believe as a society we have progressed but our leadership is stuck in the 1600's conducting homosexual witch hunts and fighting over oil. There is oil in Burma ( or whatever they are calling it now) being pumped by Chevron so you know we'll be there next. Do we create these civil uprisings ourselves so we can send troops and hundreds of thousand of retired general CEO's to run their corporations there on tax payers money?

In 1967 there were no corporate lobbyist present in Washington D.C. just a handful wanting government contracted jobs, now there are at least 33,000 lobbyist present in Washinton D. C. And I guess they are actually the ones running the country and filling their pockets while ripping off the American tax payer. It's like the 80's when corporate takeovers became popular. Big shots would buy up companies and then dissolve the operations and people would lose their jobs. Stockholder takeovers I believe it was called.

In my opinion, lobbyist are ruining our country because each are out for themselves and so are not organized for the good of the country. Oh come on, they could care less about the country and the taxpayer who is out of a job through out sourcing. My question, if corporationsn lose their tax base (the American tax payer) where do they go then. or haven't they looked that far ahead. Because if you drain the tax base - you have ruined this country. If you take jobs away people can't pay or pay lower taxes so what will the war mongers profiteers do then? Who will pay Blackwater and other created companies headed by former generals? See the DVD "Iraq for Sale: War for Profiteering" it will open your eyes to the greed that runs rampant in the war world. Don't tell me they are not profiting from 9 11. Makes you wonder doesn't it.

Trust me, the talk of switching from oil to anything else for fuel will continue on until every last drop of crude is pumped by a major American oil company.

The dollar is weak cauing importers to lose money and American visiting and living overseas using American money to say "Ouch!". Housing is in a slump, but gas and groceries and the cost of eating out is rising. "You gotta eat" says one popular fast food commercial and isn't that the truth. I've put myself on a diet.

So, personally, I'm a little sick of men running the show. I can't see where they are making any progress in evolving our social standards and economy. It's 2008 and we are still using the polluting gas engine. It's all about the very few getting very rich and avoiding paying taxes so the poor shmucks of the world end up carrying the burden.

I'm sick of patriarchial authorian rule. I'm sick of some old man telling me how to act and what to do and who to love! In the middle east homosexual are stoned to death! Just how stupid and barbaric is that?

"God" did not hand down the bible or the koran.....mere self-serving, perverts, domineering, males - human at that - wrote them. It's all fabricated nonsense! Making women cover up and be servants......is evidence enough for men. "God" truly would have created man and woman equal. Personally, I believe all men are gay at some level and misogynists. Why?

Why are the afraid of women? Why must men rule, preach, teach and dominate and kill. Have you ever noticed how loud they are. They must be heard. They must stand out? Maybe scientist should develope a testeserone neutralizer or softener. Wouldn't it be justice if emissions from fuel caused men to become efeminantly gay? Justice for all!

Mitt Romey wants to reverse Roe vs Wade

Mitt Romey wants to reverse Roe vs Wade
Women are losing their rights in this country. So, killing during Bush's war for profit is okay?Mitt Romey wants to set the moral standards in this country! So, is he saying we are too stupid to think and decide for ourselves?I'm insulted! I have my own set of morals. I am an adult. I don't need SOME MAN telling me what to do!Just where do these MEN who declare themselves all "gods" get the right to set the moral standard for another human being?Most of these men are mere hyprocrites anyway. They preach one thing and are the worse offenders.Hey and don't put your hands between your legs! That was a popular one in religion class when I was in the first grade! "Don't put your hands between your legs". Are these people fucking nuts are what?According to the church, anything pleasurable is wrong. They make it wrong so they can shame and control you and take your money and run the planet. The chruch would be out of business if there were no sinners...so guess what..everybody is a sinner. So, they need to fix you - you stupid ass who can't think for yourself. Be a damn puppet and get yourself brainwashed and your kids. YOU ARE BEING MADE A FOOL OF.....you are just too blind to see!!

Friday, October 05, 2007

For the Bible Tells me So...


I suggest you go to www.forthebibletellsmeso.org and watch the trailer and listen carefully, especially near the end.

Yes, another Fundamentalist Christian ploy of discrimination of minorities espoused through the bible. People! The bible is man written. Made up to fit the desires and needs of fundamentalist Christians for their own controlling, dominating and "monetary" gain.

Yes, if you are broken come to them to be fixed. Of course, first of all, they set the rules and tell you what makes you broken. Anything involving emotions they know will pull you in to their greedy grip of human destruction. This group of old white men are not gods as they claim themselves to be. They are nothing more than greedy, controlling, manipulating mortals who want to be powerful and control people.

Beware the man who preaches against an act, for him is probably the most guiltiest of that act. Ted Haggard is a grand example. It is men like he who are hypocrites who make homosexuality dirty. They themselves declare themselves that it's dirty. How sick are these people anyway?

There is nothing wrong with loving someone of the same sex. It's love for god's sake ..not hate. Fundamentalist Christians create "HATE" amongst human beings...not love. They want you to hate one another. This is a sick bunch of people.

Personally, I don't care what their beliefs are...just keep them to yourself. And of course the government mandates laws and cut taxes for the church for VOTES. It's nothing more than a large scale scam that threatens my well being and my path to love. How dare they! I'm insulted! Trust me, I would rather be homosexual than an evil fundamentalist christian! You are evil and create and permeate hate.

Thursday, October 04, 2007

I Run...

I ran... I ran 13.1 miles Tues in a little over two hours...nothing fancy...and then ran about 3.5 in the evening with the running group

And yesterday I rode 98 miles in 7 hours and 45 minutes.

I feel great! Thanks to Glucosamine Chondroitin and yoga poses first thing in the morning before I do anything else.

Today was a day of rest. I introduced my friend to a woman who channels a spirit. He was right on. I listened to the tape and was amazed! I think she is in a better mental place now and a little more at ease regarding her career.

Me? I am just as confused as ever regarding my relationship. I try not to think about it. I feel a whisper blowing in the breeze of change. Yes, something big is about to happen. I feel another mission approaching involving another "special" relationship.

Three years ago after retiring my life took a major change. Sometimes it's not real good to have a lot of free time in which to think about how your life is going. But, I think and subsequently fell in love. Some people get sick when change is necessary, I fell in love.

It's hard being without a supportive partner. In all honesty now that my mission I was directed on has been completed. I feel a little lost. I'm okay. But, just feel a little empty at times. The relationship I'm in is dead ended....limited. We needed sex.

But my mission for the past two years (or maybe more) was to get her to see the woman I see who channels a wonderful spirit. There she spoke to a loving decreased friend and help reunite her with her partner, there, in the after life.

I believe that her deceased friend placed me on this mission to get my friend there. I told my ex I felt the reason for our split was "bigger than the both of us". I believe my ex had her own mission too which she is living.

You see my friend created a riff between the two long time love partners when she had an affair with one of them. I guess I'm envious in a way. I never got to make love to some many women. It's not fair. All I ever wanted to do was make love to a woman (NOT A MAN). But I was stuck with church and consequently st rick social norms no matter how ignorant and made up to drum up business for the church.

So, yes, I'm slightly bitter. I want that perfect relationship. I want my heart to race when I see her and make love to her. I want to think she is an ultra feminist god. I want her to love me and feel the same way. My heart is empty and I feel that I am missing something.

I wanted the sex. I have it. Pretty much all that I want. but the relationship doesn't stir my soul. I go through the motions. I want to put our relationship back to where it was....weekly afternoon just for us too. I have incorporated her socially...not a good idea.

I need a new mission! I need a new direction. I'm not happy! I want a woman who is loving, secure and feminine. Someone too into fitness and health and sex. The selection narrows....

So, this too will past. I just feel like I need a mission. For the last two year; probably three I've been on one. And after the two ladies got together..it's ended. I was the one would told my friend that her decease friend/lover watches out over her. I was the one who suggested my friend speak to the spirit. Her decease friend's spirit was right there...waiting to speak with her. All was forgiven and the two life long lovers were reunited. The mission was over.....I'm looking for another job.

My spirit friend told me I was going to make a lot of money with my art...what I work on at home...He told me twice at two different settings so I know he didn't say that I would spend a lot of money...besides I have it on tape.

So, here I am determined to flow with the flow and see where I land.....I know it will be on my feet...just don't know where. I am back to thinking about her...the love catalyst who got me into this change in the first place. She is always on my mind. I love her for some reason....can't figure it out. My feelings have never faded..don't ask me why. In fact, my feelings for this fathom love is messing up my feelings for my present lover. Yes! I'm in big trouble. I'm thinking blonde shoulder length deep brown eyes and loving hugs and kisses...getting....not that.

I know my present lover loves me. Is it that I just can't take being loved? The butchness? What is it. At times things are super...well were super. Now, I'm beginning to worry about how I come across.

Oh well, as the wind shifts and turns so will my feelings and my life situations.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Osprey V-22 expensive 20 year project stillin the making

According to a Time Magazine reporter Mark Thompson speaking on my local NPR station one hundred twenty million dollars a piece for the 20 year project V-22 Osprey tilt-rotor plane that began at a 20 billion dollar budget project.

Dick Cheney when he was Gerald Ford's Secretary of Defense tried to kill this project that can fly like a helicopter or a plane. The engines rotate up as a helicopter and can be switched down and forward as a plane.

If you are below 2200 feet and lose power during an engine position switch you are doomed. This is a combat assault aircraft designed to take troops into positions of battle. The machine guns on board would be a 1,000 pound a piece, but too heavy so machine gun is attached instead to the inside rear of the plane and shoots puney bullets.

Obiviously, as radical as the V-22 is the younger pilots rather than older intuitive pilots will be willing to fly the Osprey V-22 air craft.

President General Eisenhower upon leaving office warned "be leary of the Industrial War Machine". This statement means be careful...because for a few big industries there is lots of money to be made during war time.

Monday, October 01, 2007

Losing My Appetite

After watching the piece on CNN about how "manufacturers" prepare the packaged food we ate I think I have lose my appetite.

The concern is not for our nutritional and health benefits but rather for extending product shelf life. This is frightening to me!

Restaurants prefer to use poly-unsatured oils which create a food of sorts that will not spoil and can sit on the counter for hours looking as if it just came off the grill. In fact, the food product will last eternally looking fresh and staying moist.

So, it's nothing about freshness and nutrition for the consumor; but more about saving money for the manufacturers. Once again pulling one over on the food consummer.

It has gotten so bad that I have resorted to celery filled with peanut butter, green peppers, and carrots. I'm afraid of lettuce. California allows cattle to raom uphill, above the lettuce patches.

Where is our government throughout all of this. Isn't it the governments job to protect us; a sort of homeland security. But, government is in cahoots with business. So government works against us?

Anyway, I wanted to lose some weight. Have you looked down the isles of the supermarkets? It's all cereal, chips and more junk. All sugar!

The government gives corn and soy bean farmers huge incentives and tax breaks but fruit and vegetable farmers do not. The trend is changing; however, and now produce farmers are beginning to get help. The fact is that if everyone demanded their daily requirement of fruits and vegetables there would not be enough to go around.