Could get Lazy

I'm resting my leg again today because it was hurting a bit after running on it last night for about three miles with the running group. I'll go to yoga this evening - it'll be fine.

I miss the good doctor today. I must have hit my head the other day when I fell - again. I guess. I'm just a humble servant of the universe I guess living in the moment - no past no future. I don't plan. I don't remember. Love is out of reach.

It's amazing - if I get physically active I don't get despressed. In that respect yoga will be good for me this evening. In the morning I'll pick my friend up from the airport. I have art in the afternoon. In the evening I'll run. My young coupled friends like me. In a way I envy them. They are in a fun and interesting phrase of their lives - but all of life should be that way.

I have a hard time with love. I did better with the afternoon delight thing but it progressed into us being a couple - on the side of her marriage. Yes, married - I said. (which would be just perfectly fine if she were more my type. I could do that secret afternnoon delight thing). I should have kept it just afternoons - but she planned bike trips and running trips and before you know it I'm inviting her to my stuff and then it blew up. She's not my type - too butch! A man is a man I don't care what body you are in - they teach, preach, and drive the car. Not gentle. Not affectionate. Right to the sex (yes, pretty much)- like going to work. Maybe that's way I couldn't do it anymore.

I have a heart. I want someone I like to go to loft open houses with, free concerts in the park, things like that. Laugh together - be on the same spiritual plane with. I miss the good doctor. A warm heart - would be very nice. She'll meet me half way. Plays in the park - leaving at intermission to go home and have more wine and add sex will be missed this year. It was fun.

I miss the sex. I hope it's not a real long summer - lonely. She needs to drop out of the sky now - she needs to meet me half way. It's hard to find feminine lesbians, who are closer to my age, who are physcially well and emotionally happy and fit and trim and active. Why are all active women straight? I am I damned? It's very hard to be a lesbian - very.

Don't like butch - too much like men. Maybe I"ll go straight! That's impossible I could never go straight - it's not in my makeup. I lived the straight life in my thirites. Then I gave up. Then I lived with a very good friend for a long time. And then I got a crush on an angel - and that hasn't fadded, not with the younger woman, and not with the woman my age...the crush on the angel remains - always on the back of my mind.

I need physical contact or I fear I'll die or break down and call the past up. Common sense stops me. I don't want to get her here and tell her no again - for I fear it will happen again. God, I need the touch of a woman. It's only been a whole frigging month?

Oh, I'll survive! I'm better alone anyway - don't have to worry about anyone's feelings. Don't have to please. I'll feel better after I walk with my friend on Friday morning - she has rotten luck too. No! She's not my type. No! "That kind of" connection there.

Day of Rest

I having another day of rest for my knee and it's healing very nicely. I miss activities like swimming, yoga ( I can do some poses), and bicycling (although weater is not conducive anyway) a little. It's good to rest with my feet propped up and watch recorded TV, do crosswords, computer scrabble, word hunt, and draw while listening to Oprah's classes.

I've lost weight. I can tell. I just eat a little at a time and my stomach is feeling flatter. It's about time!

I want to take it easy because I want to run the Run for Sight on Sunday. The way I am progressing nicely I should be fine by then. This evening I'll meet up with my running group and probably walk mostly, but will try a little running too.

Immediately putting ice on my swollen golf ball size wound was key Saturday morning. The bumps and I'm healing very nicely. Think I'll do a few yoga poses now. Maybe by tomorrow evening I can do a downward facing dog pose because the bruises on my hands will be better.

Cool! Hey, it's what I get for being clumsy and not alert. I have fallen twice before while running on sidewalk and it was because I wasn't concentrating on my footing on uneven sidewalk slabs connections. Saturday I fell because I wasn't lifting my feet high enough going across a bouncing medal expansion bridge. It was slick too. Maybe that's what started the whole downward process; my left foot slide on the downward side on the bridge. But the group of four women ahead of me didn't have any problems. I think the main reason was that I didn't lift my feet high enough to allow for the up bounce on the bridge and my toe caught the vertical open spaced medal slat as it bounce back up. A trick bridge! A silly bridge; but probably cheaper than another stone bridge. Don't know the reason why, maybe they thought variety would be more interesting instead of having all the bridges in the park look alike.

Anyway, I'll be ready to get out and about by this evening.

It's about me this time

I'm having a great time. Really! Although I am reminded of M so many times and I miss her. But I just can't bring myself to call her. I don't want to get her here and have the same thing happen all over again. I don't want to jerk her around. I miss her and I feel for her but right now I have to fly solo. Speaking of which, I certainly miss the good doctor. I miss her wonderful loving heart. Thank the universe for that precious moment we had together. Sometimes what takes only a moment can last many lifetimes. She nurtures me with her heart. I take that moment with me so many times. So many quiet times - she's with me. I feel her spirit. Hey, I have great friends and I am learning to live in the Eckhart Tolle's "The New Earth" moment. Have you ever noticed that if you sit and take deep breaths that you can't think about anything in particular while you do that?

I am sitting and I am healing my leg by tomorrow evening to I can run about four miles in the park. I wonder if I will have the nerve to run over that bridge again. The medal spring bridge that bounces when you run over it. I wonder? Maybe after I heal. I know I was not picking up my feet high enough to compensate for the bounce when I ran over it Saturday morning. The vertical steel slates caught the toe of my shoes and I slide a few feet it felt like on my left shoe. Well, it was fall enough that I wondered when and where I would stop; then the toe of my right shoe got caught on a vertical slat and I went down. Don't ask me why they built a bridge like that? It's open slatted you can see the water below and it is springy besides. Anyway, I have ran over that bridge probably fifty times but Saturday I think I was getting tired near the end of a ten mile run (without caffeine help - I'm so proud. Only two little miniature cinnamon rolls from Whole Foods) and I didn't pick up my feet high enough.

I got cut a bit and a huge golf ball size bump arrived by the time I ran the last half mile back to the center where we meet up. My friends were already back and one ran and got ice from the little cafe inside the building for me to hold on the bump. The bump went down fast. I am so grateful because now I know I'll be probably able to run tomorrow evening and do the Run for Sight run on Sunday with five or six of my running buddies. I'm so glad.

Yes, I've been resting, doing just a wee bit of yoga. I can't do downward facing dog because I have large bruises on the pads of each hand. I should be fine by Wednesday evening yoga; however. Can't stop my routine. I feel fortunate - trust me! It could have been worse. I thank the universe for this time of rest and reading and comtemplation.

I think I owe alot to the fact that I learned how to fall when I took Judo lessons way back when I
was very young. I tuck and roll onto my right shoulder. It's automatic and I never try to stop or catch or brace myself. I just go with it. Actually, this smooth bridge (what kind of surface is that - smooth?) allowing me to slide was really much better than a concrete sidewalk. My last two running falls were on concrete sidewalks with my toe caught on the elevated edge of the walk. See, all because I didn't pick up my feet high enough. And never look away when you are running but always be looking about ten or fifteen feet ahead on the surface.

I am trying to live in the moment to breath in the moment and not think about past or future or even distracted by the moment. I know that life is temporary and I want to make good use of my time here - in this lifetime. I am most grateful for my agility, my active capabilites, my wonderful good health, perfect sight, lack of fear, my safety, being free of accident and illnes. I am grateful for every limb and part of my body and my brain and mind and spirituality. I am grateful for my home, my car and all of my possessions and the fact that they are all working well and free of any mishap. I am so grateful for that! Thank you!

Life is grand and I am most grateful for my good health and wonderful friends. I am truly trying to find my inner spirit and to do that I must separate mind and spirit. Our thoughts are not our spirit but rather our ego. The other day I was really worried about the gift I was going to give a friend for her birthday and then I realized that it was my ego that was worrying - so I stopped worrying. I had already gotten the gift - so why worry about it. It's done. She was grateful for the gift. So, it's all done.

Tomorrow I ask the universe to make my day magical and manificent and in the moment of spirituality.

McCain can really twist the words...

McCain go home! During a speech McCain said that the Democrats want government to control health care and he wants families to control health care. What the hell is he talking about?

Families can't tell health insurance companies to set certain rates or put into law making it a crime to cheat insurers.

What Hillary I believe plans to do is set into law and make it unlawful for insurance companies to cheat insurers like they have been doing. People with insurance plans expect, with all due rights, the insurance company to cover illness and procedures to the end and not bail during the middle of treatment - unexpectedly.

In reality I saw it myself a doctor testifying in front of Congress saying how she denied coverage to patients when they needed it most just to save the insurance company a buck!

McCain is either clueless and I believe he is! I also believe this sounds like arrogant Carl Rove writing McCain's speeches. Oh yeah, McCain won the Republican nomination and immediately Carl Rove stepped up to the speech writing plate. McCain the new Republican puppet - bye bye Bush. I see too where McCain was just in Florida with that speech. Gee!

Oh yes, and the Republican governor in Florida Chris probably thinks he will be VP. Well I am very afraid we are going to have another 2004 crooked election. If they don't think they can win fairly Republicans lie and cheat. Oh please! 9 11 and 2004 were as plain to see manipulated as can be.

It's all for big bucks and promises and mostly about big bucks for a very few rich at the expense of the diminishing middle class.

Truckers wanting $2.00 cap on fuel drive to D. C.

Truckers spend up to $1,000, or more to fill up their tanks have driven their rigs to Washington, D. C. this weekend to demand a $2.00 cap per gallon on fuel. Good for them.

Why do the American people have to demand and beg? I can't wait to get these people out of the White House. But, I'm afraid of the Supreme Court - the highest court in the nation and actually more powerful than possibly even the president's position because these judges are there for life and can't get voted out. And right now they are all altra conservative. It's very scary!

Bush during his so far seven year term has done lots of damage even more so than his old man. They work for the few rich and the hell with everybody else. The middle class is slipping into poverty status and our government doesn't care - they just take our money and use it to their (the few rich) benefit and to enable big businesses.

We are being sold down the river of despire while this administration is even more rich and even more crooked if that's possible.

Our economy is a mess with stores closing and even more jobs going away. Even in little rural towns across the country homes are being repossessed and foreclosures are in the millions We haven't hit rock bottom yet - but I say we are closer then the media lets on.

And onto more issues - I do hope Rev. Wright does blow Osama Obama's chances. I do hope Wright is angry with Obama and blows him right out of this Democratic candidate race.

Come on Hillary. Hillary wants to go one on one with Obama with out a mediator; just ask each other questions. Hillary can win this thing and trump all over McCain.. she'll talk circles around him - he'll get lost.

This Republican administration has been the worse yet and now instead of trying to wheel and deal with Columbia they are pushing on trading with South Korea.

And what about Monsanto being allowed to sell their poison all over the world. People are getting sick and dying. They have forced grain growers all over the world to only buy their stuff. If Mondsanto should "really" decide they hate people, even us. Or some mad scientist should get control it could mean the end of humanity. They already force feed cattle without nutritans and exercise. It's sad. And all these reservatives? Hostness Twinkies will look the same for years and the only way you know that they were bought in 1980 is because they made them bigger then - they're tiny now. It's ridiculous! But our government doesn't care!

What kind of a nation is this? Where we force feed cattle crap that eats up their stomachs and kills their immune systems and give them antibotic shots.

And now we have human trafficing - illegal workers coming up from Mexico are being enslaved and forced to work with little or no pay. And of course we have always have child porn and prosecute slavery.

Looks like we are in a mess as a civilization. It's pretty sad.

up at night - it's the caffeine

It's three now. I woke up at about two. Well, my leg was hurting a bit. I fell while running in the park this morning. So, I'm sitting on my couch now with ice on the side of my knee where the brunt of the injury occurred. Yeah I went flying. While I was nearly the end of a ten mile run and running across a springed suspension bridge with an open grated slitted medal floor. I didn't pick up my feet high enough. Well, I knew in a secon before it happened that I wasn't picking up my feet high enough to compensate for the bounce created by running across the bridge. See, I get warnings - but I need more than a split second of warning! Anyway, I hit knipped my toe on one of the slats and lost it. I slid for a bit and thought - well think is cool - maybe I can recover my balance and stay up right. That thought didn't last one - I was down.
When I was very young I took popular at the time, Judo lessons and the first thing they teach you is how to fall - tuck and roll. So I landed on my right side more or less with side of knee and shoulder taking the hard strike. Both of the pads of my hands got a little buggered up but I can still rest them to type and can stil play my guitar.

I love to play my guitar and sing. I'm trying to get very good. Just like I wished I could have been two places today - at running with great friends or at the art session with great friends there. But, can't be in two places at one time unfortunately. So, I missed the very beautiful, Sarah. And last time I capurated her so well - even getting her fabulous eye expression. Damn! In retrospect I'm sorry I missed it. I love drawing.

Last evening I spent with three friends at a bicycle seminar and we had a great time. We watched "The Bible Tells Us So" afterwards and had great discussion throughout. They are great people and I so enjoy their company.

They were all generally attentive this morning with help getting ice for my knee which swelled up like a golf ball on it. The ice really deminished the bump quickly. I have my legs propped up on my coffee table now with ice on.

I miss the good doctor. Oh, I always think of her. I picture her so clearly. I miss her. I miss her softness, her warmth, her heart. My heart aches to have her heart close to mine.

I don't know why - this goes on? You would think I'd be so over it by now yet, I feel her presence, her heart. "Sometimes what takes only a moment - can last many life times."

See we do carry over what we have learned in past lives. I mean look at all these brilliant kids who can write and play difficult piano pieces.

I'm reading "Power, Freedom and Grace" by Deepak Chopra. I like it better or rather I think it's so much easier to read than Oprah's Eckhart Tolle's "The New Earth" which needs constant arthur interpretation.

Oops - a side track here: The Illuminate and James Wasserman "The Slaves Shall Serve" the free Masons ( a secret societ - in the 20th century comes off as a charible organization(behind our colonialism and founding fathers. The American Revolutions' forefathers were free Masons. The French Revolution on the other hand can be tracted to an Illuminatie revolution. A blood bath. In 1826 a Mason, Norman, decides he wants to publish an exposit of Mason's life. He wanted to reveal too much and he subsequently, suspectiously disappeared one night. Sorry, I'm watching PBX TV as I am blogging.

Love to blog

Hillary can change my life

I don't think Osama Obama will ever accept Hillary's dual debate challenge. See, Hillary is confident and prepared. She is a debate champion and quick thinking while Obama is still hand waving and stampering and studdering. She can wipe the socks off of him and he knows it. Same with McCain. McCain really speaks against Obama - well, Obama's the top dog in popularity, although don't ask me why?

Hillary is articulate and quick thinking and does her homework and knows how to vote on bills where I feel Obama is clueless. In fact, it's apparent to me that Obama is clueless. He'll never got the voting tecnique down the short time he was in the Senate actively. He was only voting in the Senate for one year before he declared himself Presidental material.

Here's how Obama votes. Let's take the credit card charge limitation bill. John Edwards and Hillary admitted to voting "yes" on a 30% ceiling that credit card companies can charge card holders. Although high that was the amount on the bill and they felt a "ceiling" was necessary above all. Then comes Obama, not to savvy, he votes "no" which rejects the bill and gives the credit card companies the open door and green light on charging whatever interest amount they want to charge. Well, guess what. Here's how it is now. Evidently, the bill didn't get passed by the president because now, if you miss or are late for one payment you are from then on charged 44% not only on that particular card but on "all" the cards you hold. See? Obama is rather clueless don't you agree?

That's just one example why I really don't trust Obama. He voted "present" 100 times while he should had voted "yes" or "no". He said he didn't like something on the bill. And Hillary and Edwards said, "Well, if you didn't like something you vote "no".

During that same debate when Obama was conventiently asked the same questions second, so he could repeat Hillary's answer. When asked about a considered "weakness" he said his weakness was that he can't find papers on his desk. I don't think I'd be admitting that on TV. He said he told his aids to give him papers at the last minute so he doesn't lose them. He's a loose cannon. I don't want him signing off on Bills as president if he doesn't know what he is signing off on. And losing papers on his desk? That's just down right scary for a President. In fact that sounds just about as scary as G. W.'s brainless tactics.

Hillary has done her homework in every aspect of governmental, economical, foreign policy and social issues. She has the know how behind her and will turn this economy around in rapid fashion. She's a woman for Pete's sake! Woman are used to multitasking.

My vote is for Hillary! Personally, I don't trust Obama. There is something about him. Could it be is twenty year faithful following of the Rev. Jeremia Wright, the reverend who screamed hatred and "the chicken have come to roost?" after 9 11 01.

This election is very important and will effect us in every aspect of our lives we need to think and vote accordingly. I want experience and a president who knows what she is doing and will work for me on my behalf. Go Hillary!

A grand day

Actually, I've had a few grand days recently with my friends. They are super. I'm grateful for my blessings. They''re a refreshing bunch! And not only do we run, but now a few of them are getting into bicycling too. I really wasn't planning on riding tomorrow with the rest of them. Good things 0r just as well. Well, for one thing, it's about a hundred mile round trip to drive before we get to ride and the price of gas flirting with $4.00 were gallon I'll wait on a closer organized ride to ride. Although, I'm very ready and looking forward to riding it's better I guess I rest my leg tomorrow.

Oh, I fell down while running this morning around the park. I ran around the park (6 miles) then met up with my fellow runner's and was following them. I was about a half mile away from completed ten miles of running when I fell. I was running over a steel expansion bridge which bounces. I guess I wasn't picking my feet up high enough. I got lazy. My friend says it's happen to her already in these running shoes, styles we share.

I got up faster than a flash. I learned how to fall while taking judo lessons way back when. It's a curl and roll motion - more on the side and up the shoulder. The side of my right knee got bumped pretty good. I ran the rest of the way back in not really any pain. Iusually take two Ibuprofen before I run so I wasn't really hurting.

When the group saw me coming they got ice for me to put on it. A couple of medical women in the group is nice and comes in handy.

Yeah I ran ten miles without any super power stuff with caffeine. I did just fine on two little tiny cinnamon rolls.. very little. I'll trying to slim down to knock some time off of my pace and finish time. This year at the downtown half my time was 2:26 and I was 11th out of 63 women in my age group - granted I'm at the bottom of my age group. But two years ago when I was lighter I was at the top of my age group and came in 2:18 and 13th out of 124 women in the 55-59 age group. I was 58. Just wait and see what I look like this fall for the Clayton half in November!

I'll rock! I'm cross training now - well I always do but I was eating more and using too many super power gels with too much high glucose corn syrup.

Speaking of high glucose corn syrup my friend was telling me about something she saw on Channel 9 NPR station about raising cattle and corn. Well, they have engineered corn without any nutrients now only glucose to fatten humans and animals up very fast. Beef do not get any exercise and can really on eat this stuff for 126 days before it eats their stomachs up. Beef is being negatively massed produced. In farmer days passed cattle were allowed to walk, roam and eat grass and good old fashion corn. The meat was healthy and lean back then. This new high fructose corn syrup degrades their immunity system and cattle get antibiotics which - gets passed to the meat - which they swear does not. So, I think I'll become a vegan.

No wonder kids are becoming diabetic these days. It's not called adult onset diabetes anymore. we're eating junk - non nutritious junk. And with antibiotics in our meats it takes more and more antibiotics to cure infections because we have become immune to them and it takes more and more to do the job of clearing an infection.

So, where in the hell is our government? Hello Mr Cheney? Are you making money hands over fists? Laughing all the way to the Canary Islands? This government allows corporations to rip off people every way they can to save themselves a buck and stick more money into their own CEO's pockets! It's treason in my mind! This government instead of regulating and over seeing special interest gives them a green light.

Crooks

I get a kick out of Elisabeth on The View, she is concerned for security and therefore she want's McCain to win. I think with McCain we will get just more of the Bush crap we have been getting.

It's just about the worse government I have ever seen regarding managing corporations and over seeing federal organization.

Seems as if the FAA has been in bed with the airline companies. Seems as if the oil men direct which gas guzzlering are designed.

The financial institutions should have been over seen and managed by Bush. But he gives them the gree light and anything goes. I'm Bush turning a blind eye has paid off for Bush! But, it's deisgraceful activities by the government and corporation.

You can't let safety issues and fuel economy up to manufacturers; the government needs to oversee and make sure things are done on the up and up and the average citizen is not getting ripped off.

And that's a joke!

The View's Elisabeth is speaking out polticity

First of all Elisabeth is a stuanch Republican. And Joy, Sherry, Whoopie are Democrats I believe I think all three are for Obama.

Elisabeth is concerned about Obama's twenty years of devotion to racist, hatred preaching Rev. Wright. I understand her worry about Obama's association with the Rev. Wright which is one of my concerns too. Twenty years is long enough to be thoroughly brain washed. Obama doesn't wear the "flag" pin on his lapel and he doesn't place his hand over his heart during the National Anthem. There're something off base about him - my intuition keeps up on that.

Pesonally I'm voting for Hillary because I think she is the best candidate and yes because she is a woman! A very extra plus!

I'm so sick of men running everything. Men can be old and ugly and get the news and TV jobs and women have to be beautiful. It's totally

Wow! That Danita Patrick is very, very cute! She won the Indy 300 in Japan. 2009 Winner. She cried when she won. I wouldn't want her not to cry! Hell, I cried for her.

If you have even been a degraded, repressed, victim of male sexism woman, you would cry too.
God, I had my fill of that shit. I had had enough as a young girl and then to go on, and on, and on, seeing the double standard that glorious, "the preferred sex" man ride on is truly disgusting.

Women always have to prove themselves whereas men just brown nose and fall into it. I mean poor Hillary! Now she's "a real man" - she's taken more crap from these news guides then any big baby man would do. She's been taking it all along. They just plain come out and tell her to quit. She's taken it like "a real man". Anyway, Hillary will make history cleaning up that Washington mess. The good old boy's clubs is getting shown up.

Yeah, for centuries men held women down. Oh, they were too weak for sports because of their periods Bull Shit! Men were smarter! Bull Shit! No wonder women hate men - they never treated us equally. And then they act so offended!

I'm hear to tell you the stronger sex - is female!

And, it's the year of the woman! Hillary, Danita Patrick, the two women space commandors who worked together in space this past year.

Women rock! Women can mulittask. Hey and don't forget the books about women this year.
Dee Dee Meyers "Why Women Should Rule The World" and the "Female Brain" by Louann Brizendine, M.D.

Women can multitask and once more which is very crucial, they can see how their actions and what they say affects others. They use their whole brain too AND they have the power of intuition. It's true!

Men use half their brain and it shows, they can't multitask, they appear self-centered and they can only focus on one thing at a time, usually that thing right in front of them. And they are big babies. It's all about them! They are pushing, preachy, know-it-all when in fact they don't know shit! I mean look at the men in Washington - they never get anything done! Well, it's all bull shit. Now Bush says gas needs to get 30 MPG at 2020. Oh Please! Toyota Prius get 49 MPG NOW! We had the electric car in the late 90's between BUSH killed it. Watch the DVD "Who Killed the Electric Car?"

Trust me - Hillary has the potential to get the job done and will be ready on day one. Whereas McCain is just another old, white man. Obama is phony and will falter on day one. He'll be walking around in confusing circles, looking for things he has lost and he'll be confused and waving his hands all over the place.

Hilllary has already sorted through the mess and the junk - she'll clean house.

Holy Ones in Disguise?

The over weight woman with the big authorative mouth to match who is making me lose my concentration - is she the holy one in disguise?Or how about the stinky and I do mean stinky old man whom I literally had to move upwind from (no he didn't have a clue - he was too busy talking to everyone. He knew everyone by name). Finally. The stinky paint dried, the big full-of herself, fat woman with the large voice, and the stinky guy (no they were not together) left the patio of the visiting and eating establishment with the free wi-fi and the most wonderful breeze.Only a very quiet, very involved student with a huge textbook sits near by, with curled concentrating, trying posture. It's true about everything in life - which wait long enought and the paint dries and the people change - passing in and out of my life. The little identical wrens remain however, constantly searchng for crumbs.The old, dirty, extremely loud Camero drives by again and vibrates my eardrums as I sit in this corner, in the shade, under a large green umbrella. Soon I'll have to scoot this table and chairs around, I'm beginning to feel the warmth of the sun.

It's almost eightly degrees today. The ground is damp from yesterday's rain, and the grass, I swear, is growing fast and greener right in front of me as people and kids stroll by unnoticing.A warbler sits on the freshly painted black shiny rail and sings a songs that sounds of a cell phone ring; or should that be the other way around?I came to the park to run, eat, sit, read ( I have three books to finish and return to the library tomorrow) and write. I love to blog. It's a wonderful thing - blogging. It's putting your feelings and thoughts out there to someone who just might drop by regularly and actually care or act interested. Sometimes I do get comments back.I took a bike adventure on my own for two days from St. Louis to Herman. Yes! I blogged the adventure upon return and actually received a compliment from a viewer. He said it was interesting, well written and flowed very nicely. I wonder if he knew just how much it was appreciated. So, blogging is the possibly of maybe being heard; like sitting and pouring feelings and thoughts to a friend.I'm reading Dee Dee Myers book entitled "Why Women Should Rule the World". Women are wonderful creatures even if they are told they are not and should serve others and put others first. Our masculine driven soceity gives women low self esteem for a reason - to keep them in their place - down on the farm, barefoot and pregnant.I think women tough my heart because I understand them; I can relate and I'm a lesbian so I am particularly partial and when I see a straight couple I often wonder - just what is in it for her?I was born to make love to a woman. I have yet though to a woman of my dreams - soft, tender, able to give and receive.

My down fall? I have crushes on straight women. I love their femininity. I'm feminine too. My age group of lesbians however, are more gendar rolled match. The last women of my age I was with I swear and dual personalities. It's true what they say about butch in the streets, fem in the sheets. But why? Just be a woman for god's sake.But, I know hormone levels vary or electrical wiring of our brians vary. I cared about her, even loved her. I understood her, I think. But, just couldn't deal with the multi persons I saw. She was more fem in her teaching role. Nice figure. She became butch around other lesbians and liked to wear sleeveless to show her muscles. She insisted upon carrying the cooler to the backyard BBQ which immediately put me into a role I didn't care for.I dated too many men in the past and certainly knew I didn't want one of them. I wanted to drive the car. Recently she and I were on vacation and she drove "me" everywhere. Even to Walgreens one evening when I wanted to get something and could have driven myself. She was quiet like a man and very welling to do anything I wanted; that part I actually liked in her. In my last relationship I did everything she wanted - it was just easier that way.

Yes, and I lost myself and fell in love with the most tender, warm doctor whom I still love and will love even after I have pasted on to another plane. No I don't believe in the finalizaton of death. Our spirits (souls) do not die.There is something magical about the way I feel about the good doctor. She's with me always in my heart. We had a very brief, one of those moments, where our hearts were so close together that something happened, I believe, to both of them. I think they bonded. I know she hasn't forgotten me because she asked about me recently. Yes, after almost four years. I floated at least five feet off the ground for a week when I heard this.She was heaven sent to me. You see I she was my catalyst to change; to a new adventure a past spirit wanted me to take.

Should I tell you the whole story?I was in a fifteen year relationship; then my partner needed an operation. I know many patients fall in love with their doctors. I wasn't the patient. This feeling is much deeper; more like a spiritual connection. In retrospect I have it all figured out. I can look back and connect the dots. It all began when my partner took me to a pyshic fair and I spoke with Ezekiel, a channeled spirit. He nailed me. Through the years I had spoke with him at lease once a year. One day I must have, in a generous moment, offers my help to someone on the other side.And then things began to change and I know the important points where I was specifically led because normally I don't react that positively to anything. I usually worry or ponder for days, even longer. But, certain events happened that I felt so sure about. And I made them happen. I initiated hooking up with my ex of fifteen years. I initiated the separation too telling her (as Ezekiel advised) that out time to be together has come to an end.Then I met and dated a 35 year old one summer. Well, I made that happen too because I "had" to date men in my thirties and I felt cheated out of being with women and having sex with women. Which is what I really wanted. I have lived a lie most of my life by not being allowed to be my authentic self. Sooner or later it emerges - my did.I'll cut to the chase my fingers are getting tired of typing. I met M, the butch, and she spoke of E and G and how they had been together for 30 years (they were lesbians. I was jealoul). M had an affair with E during that time. E died in 03 and G died in 02. M took care of E.Here's where the magic comes in. M would speak of E and G; but mostly E. She was an artist. I reminded M of E. E usually got what she wanted I learned. I found myself saying. "I think E watches over you" and then on another occasion when she spoke of E I found myself saying. "I think she would like to speak to you". So I then found myself suggesting I make an appointment for M to speak with Ezekiel. M finally agreed after the third time I brought it up. Or, she probably agreed from the get-go, I just never got around to making the appointment. But something (or someone) kept bugging me to do it. So, I did and we went to speak to Ezekiel.Of course M got nailed. Then after a bit Ezekiel asked M if there is anyone she would like to speak too and M said E. Ezekiel says oh she paces back and forth behind waiting patiencely. So M and E exchange warm greetings. Then M asked E about G, does she ever she her there. "No, and I miss her" replied E. So Ezekiel steps up to the plate and asked M what G's last name is (see, M's mission is completed. My mission was to get her there in the first place). In a nano-second G is there and E and G embrace and melt together Ezekiel discribes to M (it's all on the tape that M gave me). So you see it?

So, as I see it, my mission was to retire - get to thinking and then split up with my partner of fifteen years so I could get out there in the dating scene and get M to speak with Ezekiel so as to re-unite E and G on the other side.When I listened to that tape it was was very clear. I split from my family too and moved to another state and city. Actually, I followed my ex, which Ezekiel has predicted. Yes, I live close to her and we are the best of friends. She has another partner now. I like her. They are good for each other. Me?I'm waiting for my next mission.

I'm open to it as long as there are positive things in it for me and I know the spirit world knows that. I have come to realize that spirits on the other side not only help us - we can help them. Is that too cool?My only question? Why am I still in love and feel so connected to the good doctor. Some people get sick when they need to change their life - I subconsciously choose to fall in love to create that shake up I needed to move me on.But why do I still think of her all the time. And I see her on TV. Now, I'm at the point where I know I will see her from time to time. Well, I had a medical documentary recoved and when I moved I lost it. Well, they played repeats so I got it again. And two years later I change to a different TV service but I wasn't worried I knew that program would rerun again and I could record and keep it again. And yes within a month after I got the new service I got it recorded again. Magic? No, it's E and G returning the favor. And then one evening M was over and wanted to watch TV and we came across her again in a short special medical informative piece. Just by chance? I don't think so.I know in my heart - what took only a few moments - will last many life times. She held me close, unexpectantly and changed my world - and healed my heart. She thought she couldn't help me but I think she knows that she did. I think of her all the time. I wonder why?

I realize she was my catalyst to change - but why so deep and so long with no letting up are my feelings for her. I thought of her when I was seeing M too. Odd! Maybe that's it - maybe she's only remain a fantasy to me - a dream just out of reach. It's the way I lived my childhood. I got my affection needs met through fantasies. My loves were always just out of reach. Maybe because of that I can't love or keep someone within reach. No, that's not it. My ex and I are still very close. I think we respect and care of each other even more now. So, why did I fall so hard and so long for the good doctor.That's the mystery! Personally, I think E and G have a plan and I can't wait to see it play out. I'll know when I am entering the rim of that plan because I'll feel very confident and sure of myself and the right words and actions will automatically happen. It's quite fun actually to other youself up like that - to be guided spiritually.

So, I live my life in a state of nuetral now allowing thoughts and things to happen.I'm about to leave this park now and go home. My here comes a little mother with a big wide children's carrier with two little ones in it. Women are remarkable! I truly believe it's the year of the woman. Recently two women commanders met in space; a woman just hit the asphalt ceiling in Nascar by winning and Hillary will be our next president. I'm so excited. Women are wonderful intuitive beings who think about how actings affect another; who would rather negotiate then fight or go to war. Women want to work together and cooperate to reach a positive goal where men bicker and compete and are ready to fight.

Men are hunters, aggressors and conquerors and women want to get alone and work together for a common goal.I do feel the feminine positive energy in the air and it is so appreciated and needed. Deepak Chopra talked about it in one of his books saying the yin and yang are unbalanced and a balance needs to be reached.Here's to the year of the woman. I'm excited about my personal adventure and I'm excited about women's adventures breaking through the glass ceiling everywhere. Doctors have all female teams in operating rooms. When I first saw it was I filled with hope. The factory or mechanical atmosphere was changed drastically to a warm, homelike, caring, loving, and most importantly "healing" atmosphere. Yeah, and the good doctor was there leading. Magical?

GO HILLARY!

Kentucky, W. Virginia and Indiana need to vote in a primary yet. These look good for Hillary. Indiana and N. Carolina may go with Osama Obama.

Hillary won huge this evening by 10% just what all the boogle headed news people said she had to win by. This is not good news for Osama Barack Hussein Obama. He just doesn't appeal to me. My intuition actually tells me he's bad news. Just where is his experience? In the Rev. Wright's hate preaching church for twenty years? Where is his patriotic "Old Glory" pin on his lapel. Why doesn't he place his hand over his heart during the National Anthem?

Why did he vote "no" on giving the president the authority to go to war right after 9 11? The bill was written to give Bush the authority to go to war if he saw fit according to the findings of reliable investigatings by the CIA. That's patriotic! To actually vote "no" is "not knowing what you are doing when you are voting in the Senate"

It was revealed in the Denver debate that Hillary and Edwards voted yes on a 30% ceiling on what credit card companies can charge their card holders. Hillary and Edwards voting "yes" on the ceiling on 30%. Which mean that they can't charge holders more. Well, Obama voted "no" and therefore the credit card companies have "no ceiling" and right now are charging 44%! Yes, right now card holders are charging 44% if you are late on your payment. And that 44% doesn't only get charged on that one card YOU hold; but they can charge that on ALL the cards you hold!

See what I mean! You and me, we, need someone in the White House who knows how to sign off on bills as president. Hillary is brilliant! Also during that same Denver, Nevada debate the question was asked: "What is your weakness". Well Obama for once had to answer first and he said "I lose papers on my desk" . I'm thinking "What"?. Hillary said her weakenss was her impatience. and followed with the desire to get to Washington as commander in chief and get things done.

Now Obama is saying that candidates make promises and then when they get to Washington they don't carry out their promises. Obama says he is going to turn Washington around. The guys came from no where and only had one year in the Senate and then declares himself presidental material? I don't think so.

And those who are worried about NAFTA - so please. Bills get modified all the time to fit present needs. NAFTA can be changed to better "our" economy.

Congratulations Hillary! You showed them - you got that 10% margin all the critical news people said you needed. Congratulations to the people of Pennsyvania, my women's intuition tells me that you won't be sorry.

You can't possibly not want prosperity and peace. We had both with Bill Clinton. It took a Clinton to clean up after the first Bush and a Clinton to clean up after the second Bush. Think about it? It's wrapped up with Hillary! She got the experience in her back pocket.

I truly do not understand people who want fresh blood? Why? These are critical times. We don't know that Obama can pull it off. Hell, he doesn't know how to vote and he can't find papers on his desk! No thanks! This is serious stuff. We are not voting on a rock star contest here. Yours and mine futures are at stake! Go with what you know!

Besides Republicans have nothing on Hillary. Both she and her husband have already been dragged through the Republican wringer and came out clean. Who knows that lurks in Obama's past? We don't know him! He hasn't proven himself enough for me!

Go Hillary!

I don't trust Obama

Well, I guess that 30% ceiling charged on credit cards didn't get passed after all. Hillary and John Edwards voted "yes" - to set the limit to 30% and Obama voted "no" leaving the ceiling wide open - well now if you miss one payment or are late one payment they can charge up to 44% and other credit cards in your name can follow suit. Thanks a lot Mr. Wonderful Obama! You don't' know how to vote on bills and I certainly do not want you signing off on any bills presented to you as President. You are clueless. You merely repeatedly everything Hillary said during debates. Remember people, this is serious stuff your not voting on the next rock star. This is serious. Personally I do think he thinks he is an elitist. He has no experience in Washington expect for one year as Junior Senator and then he didn't know what he was doing. Hillary as been around the crucifying Republican block and wrung through their wringers and came out clean. They have nothing on Hillary - nothing. But McCain would rip cutsey Obama apart.

And Obama voted "no" unlike the rest of the House and Senate who voted "yes" out of patriotism giving Bush the okay to use founded MWD information that was presented to him by the CIA and other investigating groups to go in to Iraq and destroy these MWD. Of course later we, along with the house and senate, discover that the reports were "mistaken"? (how about "false"). So now Obama rides on that mistaken ( I think he meant to vote "yes" with the rest of them but messed up), non-patriotic vote. And now is trying to ride on that to his favor. But, we are not that naive' are we?

The Techs like Hillary! Way to Go!

I can't believe Mrs McCain says it is very hard to watch the back and forth bickering between Osama and Hillary....like that is not going to take place in November between whom ever and Mr. McCain. And what qualitfications does Mrs. McCain have? You know, we expect a lot these days from first ladies and first gentlemen.

The fact that Osama voted "not" to go to war is real fight fodder regarding Osama's lack of patriotism. He fails to wear the American Flag pin on his lapel and he fails to place his hand over his heart when the National Anthem is sung. I fear Osama Baracck Hussein Obama has a hidden agenda up his sleeve. Mr. Nice Guy might not be so nice when he gets into office. I've seen a darker side last Thursday April 17th, 2008 when ABC jouralist asked him about not wearing the American Flag Pin. He said bickering is silly - is that what he is going to say to foreign dignitarie

The communications technician whom was here to work on a problem that I was having said he whole garage is voting for Hillary. I was so impressed. And he said he thinks women can do anything men can do.

Yeah Danita Patrick for winning the Japan's Indy 300. I love it! And yeah to the two space women who met in space for the first time. One was flight commander for Discovery and the other was the commander of the stationary of the space station. And yeah to Hillary when she wins. You know, honesty and truly, we need to balance the yin yang even Deepak Chopra said that in one of his books. We are so out of balance as a society.

I am so sick of the Catholic Church authoritarian jardon and rule. The silly demands. It's insulting like we are stupid sheep without a brain. We know what's right or wrong! They make demands, rope us in and molest our children. They take our money and pay billions to victims. Guilty priests are above the law and merely get moved from parish to parish to offend again! Why doesn't the law go in there and arrest the lot of them - the bishops right up to the pope for the cover up of all these years. I'm insulted! How stupid to these men think the average person is? I say take your religion and shove it!

Then there's the idiot guys in the government and heads of large corporations making fools of us. How stupid do they think we are! Again, I'm insulted. We are not stupid, brainless idiots. The audacity is appalling for even them to think they can continue to try to fool and make fools of us. Honest election in 2000 - my ass. Cheney had a hidden agenda the whole time. He couldn't wait to get in there and set up 9 11 with the false Iraq investigating reports. And yes to vote "no" for the war would have been unpatriotic. So Osama Obama whatever is unpatriotic. I think if he gets elected - we may all be very sorry.

How in the world can Baracck have enough experience to deal with the multitasking of government. You see how other men do it - not so good! They're still talking about our Southern borders. And all the news journalist are so concentrated on the election that major things such as all our domestic problems and the war are side stepped.

Do you know that there is already a huge embassey built over there in Iraq. It's huge - like a small village. Gee, aren't you happy we built that there for them? Didn't know that was even there did you.

We need Hillary at the helm so desperately to balance the playing field. Hillary will show you changes so fast - you won't believe it. She'll be fine!

Obama I fear will drag his feet. In my gut - I don't trust him. I have an ill feeling. Remember the old saying - if it appears to good to be true - it usually is.

Please think before you vote! Remember this is very serious. You are not voting on a rock star with a new CD. The way you vote will have a personal effect on YOUR future. Think and plan wisely please.

Change! Hell I can march around and say change - change change. Het any Democrat in the office of the Presidency would be a change! Hello! And for the first two dozen debates they asked her first so he merely repeated everything she said. It was so obvious. The guys is scaring me actually. And his wife is down right angry! "Finally proud to be an American". What kind of a statement is that? Just what are they up too? What is their agenda! And remember is associations with Rev. Wright for 20 years? The Rev. spoke hatred of white people. Then there is his assocition with Farathan and Riszo.

Please think about what you are doing.

a woman for women

In my opinion, we need a woman president to equal, and balance out the good old boy's network.  Just maybe, finally, maybe a woman president and get equal pay for equal work for women.  Just maybe women around the country and the world will be respected.   We've come a long way since Johnson signed into bill, "Affirmative Action".  I got my "craft"/"man's" job because of affirmation action.   Otherwise I would still be doing clerk or secretary work at the phone company.  We need unions and we need affirmative action.  Yes, women and African Americans benefits and it was time.  Men were bitter at the beginning and then sat back and let the women do the work.  So I know exactly what Hillary will be experiencing - I've see it first hand where I work.   But there are men who appreciate and work well with women I've seen that first hand too.  Respect levels rose, too, on both sides.

I also believe that our economy is in the toilet because Cheney and friends allowed corporations and finance companies to run amok.  Bush is clueless - forget about him!   This country pumps billion of dollars a month into that silly Iraq war and so called democracy.   It's silly!   Iraq makes billions a month from selling oil.  They can build their own defenses and infrastructure and economy if they wanted to.  I think it all staged.  "Wag the Dog".   Watch the movie.  And watch the movie "Capricorn 1"and the fake trip to Mars.

Why has it taking so long - Well women didn't get the vote until 1920.  Women need to stick together.  Women need to join in behind HIllary.  Read Coke Roberts new book "Ladies of LIberty".

Now I've heard everything

Oh universe, please don't make me have to listen to Obama "try" to speak for the next four years.  His choppy, ah, ah, ah's, and hand waving is driving me crazy - already.

Obama give it up, please!  NAFTA started out fine but merely needs to be adjusted.   Periodically all plans of international trading must be adjusted to fit with the sign of the times.  That's common sense.

Regarding China.   What does it matter?   We will have to kiss China's behind for years to come.  We're buy lucky they just don't come and buy out this country.

The only thing bad about China is that they are late bloomers when it comes to increasing their oil consumption.  So, they are using more oil and coal.  And the average person in China wants to own a car.   They better buy little ones so they all fit on the highways.  So, becoming more westernized (we like to brag - even though our economy is backwards and swirling in the toilet heading down in a rapid flush) they are consuming more fossil fuels.

I'm watching CNN and Donna Brazil makes this guy sitting next to her look like a corpse.   She's beautiful and he's well - dull.  Old white gray haired men are I guess - dull.   People of color are so much more attractive.   Hm.  Then there's McCain.  Gee, am I getting caught up in the male double standard.  I don't normally criticize or compare appearances.   Why?  We are all created by a higher power.   Don't tell me we have control over that too - how we look?    You know I read somewhere that we do.   Like I think I wanted to be attractive and physically more able than others.  Well, I wanted to show example - but it's not working.  My friends are still sedentary.  

So, I'm changing the subject now.   So, there's telling us that Alzheimer's and diabetes is not an old people's disease anymore.   Well, then just what is making us old.   I, for example, is much more active than some of my friends who are in their 30's.  I'm damn proud of it too.

Oh, here is the real reason why I'm blogging.  Yes, now I have heard everything in a Ford commercial - they have always stretched the truth.  But this is a real kicker.  I heard "Ford is built as good as Toyota now".   Sorry!   In my thinking that is a s good as the 80's advertising "the quality goes in before the name goes on".   Well, they almost got it right - the name went on.  I think that is when they started that ugly cheap looking "blue" emblem.    Throw away junk car.   Maybe they should sell them real cheap and call them throw away junk cars.  Well, it's cheaper to junk old computers then try to fix them.   They become obsolete so quickly.  And sell phone.

 Excuse me.   Amy Walter - is she ever cute!  I'm watching CNN too.  Very cute!  Why was I born so soon?  Not fair!   Of course I've seen classy older women, and yes some "hot" with gray (more white) hair.   Good posture and pride is key.   Did you know that there is a model who is 75 would has been modeling for over 40 years.  Yes, and she still models.

Haiti and Zimbabwe people are starving.   The World Bank is asking for money.   In both countries leadership is crumbling and not helping these starving people.   In these countries 73% of their money goes towards food where as here in the USA we spend 10% on food.   So even though are food prices are rising due to higher oil prices ( so they say) we can still some what afford to buy food.   I have put myself on a diet.  I hate going to the grocery store

Some people claim that the arguing democratic candidates are bad thing.   I disagree!  I disagree because it brings more and more people out to vote and campaign and listen and decide.  Hell, let them duke it out and the best person will come up swinging and winning.    Frankly I think Hillary can wrap circles around dainty Osama, Barrack Saddem Hussein Obama  Big Mama.  Rev. Wright preacher's sonny Osamba! Whatever.  He can't bowl!  If the ball don't fit; you must equit!   He is probably afraid of guns.   I didn't see him slug back a shot!  You go girl!   I'm for HIllary - all the way!   And yes, I've heard everything.

the spirit of man

ths spirit of man. why didn't this guy leaving google and blogger come up with a way for me to blog from my iphoneiPhone ?

The freedom of being spiritual

I think I found peace.  Yes, for days I worried that the t-shirt souvenirs from Phoenix would be too big.  I guess larger is bigger than too small.   Anyway, I think they'll shrink.  I gave them each a cook book in case they don't.

I am free because when I was worrying I thought of Eckhart Tolle's "The New Earth".  Like Oprah says - I can't wait until next week.   I love Monday evenings.   I will be so sorry to see the show 

end.  Tomorrow evening we will be speaking about chapter 7 and there are only 10 chapters.  I hope they do another series of classes.

I'm burning up the last of my wood.   My, I have a nice draft up the chimney this evening.  What a wonderful fire.   I love the smell, the crackle, and the subtle rumble of the air feeding the flames.  Life is grand.

I'm listening to Obama on CNN speak of religion and other political things Hillary who was on first, has already spoke of.  And of course they ask him the exact same questions.  Yes, I did just say that.   He says everything she says.  Only every time I hear Obama's choppy way of speaking and watch his speaking hands I think of SNL and what a wonderful job they do impersonating him. What a hoot!   Hope I don't have to listen to him for four years or McCain's whistling sounds.

Religion does have far too much influence  in government.  Yeah, right it does violate separation of church and state.   But, if you have religious people working in government there you are.  Religion is rooted in people:   They go to church and they go to work.

I'm a atheist.   Well, I was raised Catholic and a lot of us have had enough.  I believe in a higher united spiritual energy but I don't believe there is one single god.   Think about it.  That would be too spooky.   The energy lies within each and everyone of us.   We as spirits come to earth in human form to learn to rise ourselves to a higher plane; that is, if we get the message.  If we don't learn the lesson we come here to learn then we are likly to keep coming back until we do get it right.  

When I was worrying about the T-shirts  not being right for them, I simply told myself that that was my "ego" self speaking and as soon as I realized that - the worrying dissipated.  The gift giving went smoothly and great.   They are wonderful women and enjoyed the gifts.  

So see I learned a lesson.   I also concentrate in being in the moment and I love it!   When I was swimming I was in the moment and the woman coming over across the line on my side didn't bother me.  I let it go.  Nor the dirty, smelly old man who obviously didn't shower before he got into the pool - I let that go too.   Instead I thanked the universe for chlorine.    

I am very grateful for the idea of living in the present moment.  I don't think about M too much then.   I care about her but I can't help her.   Sex was becoming too mechanical and that is all I plan on saying or thinking about the issue.   I care about her and I know she knows that but right now I can't see her.

Today I swam, tomorrow I'll probably run.   Fifties is still too cool to ride my bicycle.  I am getting "hot" looking again.  Yes, relationships make me fat!  She was bringing candy all the time; then I ended up buying it, and eating it too.  Not good!   

I think I'm back on track.  I looked strong in my half marathon pictures.   Yesterday I went with two friends (after we looked at bicycles) to buy smoothies.   I love spirulina green smoothies.  So good and so good for you.  The Asian woman working there said -  you look strong - how old are you.   I said sixty.   What year were you born she asked.   I said 1947.  She said me - 1948.  She was very cute with gorgeous skin - she looked in her late 40's.   She was concerned then that I had my iPhone clipped on my belt and pointed to a small ad for a round medal device to add to the back of my phone to protect me from the electrical radiations.   Today when I went back for another smoothie (I'm hooked) they were closed - I'll try tomorrow to get the information so I get this chip thing.   But, I may go by AT&T first to make sure that the chip will not interfere with my service.   My chiropractor friend as the chip attached and her iPhone works okay so I should be good.    I got a kick out the Asian woman quizzing me.   Oh I guess she saw the "Half Marathon" on the front of my T shirt too.    Funny!  She probably thinks it's the spirulina that is driving the force behind my accomplishments.  And it could be! I love it!  Life is grand!

Whenever I miss the good doctor or feel sad I simply tell my ego to knock it off and say to myself get back into the moment.   All we truly have is the moment.   Now, all is have is now.  If we worry about the future or fret about the past - we are doing it in the now and really wasting precious time when we could be doing something productive.  

I thank my spirit guides and the universe for my many blessings of flexibility, good health, safety, intelligence, wonderful  talents, and the ability to love.  I thank the universe for my spiritual freedom.   It's a wonderful thing.   I truly live in the now.  It's a practice - like swimming.   But once you get it - it's like learning to ride a bicycle - it's not easily forgotten if forgotten at all.  Life is grand.  I am grateful for my pain free days.   Can you believe I ran 13.1 miles on Sunday and felt wonderful enough to ride 40 miles the next day?   Also the week before the half marathon I ran close to 13 miles - just to see if I still could.  I ran a half marathon February 17, 2008 in Phoenix.  My time was about the same.

You know, I told someone last week when I did that; that anymore I think a run - is a run around the park - twice which equals 12.4 miles.   I love it!  Tomorrow will be sunny and 50 - well later in the afternoon - but I think I will lather up the sunscreen and get out there and run - maybe around twice.   I take glucosamine chondroitin - it's the best thing going.   I feel wonderful - I am so fortunate.  I am so blessed.  Thank you.  I will try to set a good example.  Hey, if I can do it any one can do it.  It's mind over matter.  No really, you just have to want to and of course, use common sense.  Work up to greater distances.  And do yoga!

  Well, no one told me that I "can't" do all the things I do.   And I certainly tell myself that I can.

That is the only difference between me and "them", the inactive.

Now being able to carry a tune is another thing.   You know I am truly blessed there.  I mean when it comes to carrying a tune, either you have it or you don't it is truly a gift.   I love it!  I love to sing.  I love the fact that my ex requests that I get out my guitar and sing a few songs.  She says she misses that.  I had a wonderful time at the annual float trip.   I thought to myself if they become silent when I begin to sing - then I know I have them.   And they were silent.  I cut my performance short while they were still wanting more.  It was truly magical!   I hope to get better and better.  I try to sing every day to exercise my voice and get better at playing.

I try to draw everyday too.   I am so excited that I am taking private drawing lessons on Wednesday.  I have never had an art lesson - never.   I just liked to draw.   Remember those match book drawings.   Well, I drew one as a kid and it was pretty good.   I showed my mother but she never encouraged me to pursue my talents.   She did encourage me to take piano accordion lessons as a kid however.  I was scared to death.  I was afraid of everything.  A true extreme introvert.    But I still play the accordion from time to time.  When I was nineteen I took guitar lessons, later on a few violin lessons - just for fun.   You never know I may pick that up again sometime and take violin lessons once again.  I quite because the lesson hours interfered with my work schedule.  

When I was a junior in high school I began cosmology school and finished after I graduated from high school.   I have saved thousands of dollars of hair care expenses because I have cut and colored my own hair since I was thirty.    So, I made use of every thing that I have learned.

I taught myself to swim just over a year ago.   Well, I saw the other ones swimming like they knew what they were doing.   And I wanted to do it right too.   So, I pictured them and got the feeling of that vison and tried until I felt like they looked when they swam.  It took me a while to get the breathing down.  At first I hated having my face in the water.  But now about a year later  - I truly love it.

When I was very young none of my girlfriends rode bicycles or played tennis.  Women were observers and cheer leaders back then only.  So I bought a ten speed and rode alone.   I played tennis against the school wall that had a line drawn on it.  I had fun and my thigh got firm.  I am in better shape now, then I was in my 30's.  I'm toned and strong.  And helping myself - makes me feel good about myself.

 Nixon brought about Title Nine in 1976 but it took years before schools actually got federal funding to engage girls in sports and allow them to attend college on sport scholarships that young men have been enjoying and taking advantage of for years.  In the 80's guys who enlisted got a free college education after they got out of their two year service stint.   Women weren't in the service then; well, a very few were - that were enlisted in the  Viet Nam "conflict".  I think more than anything women were nurses in the service then.   I believe there were women soldiers in the Gulf war in 1990 under the first Bush.   Remember "Storm'n Norman".   That was actually cool watching the battle front on CNN take place live.  It was the first time in history where cameras were up close and personal.  And that war was short although many soldiers came back sick.  You know, but not as bad as veterans from the "agent orange" VietNam eleven year conflict.

See there is advantage to being older - remember events.   I could probably stand up to Jay Len's on the street questions.   I usually have the answers for his questions anyway.  Too bad some young people have their heads in out of the sun places.   They must have been raised in a vacuum.    When I was a kid the evening news was on.  I remember Huntley and Brinkley evening news.  All men you know - no women.  Why do women have to be pretty to be on TV and men can look like something the dog dug up?   Oh, I forgot that double standard men themselves are even unaware of - well, hell, it works for them.  They're happy!

What amazes me though is how slow human society progresses.   Well, our government holds us back - and helps big corporations who are allowed to run amok and sell us down the river.   Big shot CEO's would sell their own mothers down the river for a buck!   Well, I guess if CEO's ruin the economy of this country - what's keeping them from moving headquarters, products and sales solely or mostly  to Dubai where people have money?  Plus they would avoid taxes there.   Hey, there are stock markets all over the world.  Man four more years of Bush (McCain will continue the strategy) lousy governing would certainly have taken us down that far.    Kick backs are given to politicians to turn a blink eye.   

And when corporations like the loan and financing corporations get too greedy and begin to cheat applicants and down right commit fraud on loan applications this ruthless administration should have punished them, but instead they gave them bail out money.   Yet not allowing people with these crooked balloon loans get help from the government.   These corporations heads should have been put in jail for hiding bad loans into foreign investment packages.  Do I hear Enron - all over again?   Do I hear credit union fraud - by a Bush son - all over again.   Do I hear crooked tallying of votes in the state of Florida all over again?  Do I hear a needless war over oil?  And a waste of tax payers money.  We pump billions of dollars into Iraq's infrastructure  every week.   Iraqi's have billion of dollars in oil profits that THEY could be spending to take care of their own stuff.  

I remember when Bush first became president - he talked so much about Iraq - in every speech that I could have sworn he was Iraq's president.  It was all for profit.  War is wagged for profit.  

Even back with  WWII Ford and other big shots and bankers were making a killing in Germany.   And then there was the rebuilding of England and France and other countries.

Okay I got carried away once again as I was writing.  I haven't blogged for a few days.  I am spiritual and free.  Oh, now here I go about religions.   Religion is nothing more than a money maker for religion heads, men.  Men who love to dress up in gowns and slippers and prance around and preach and teach.  Every man loves to preach and teach and direct and tell you how to act and what to think.   They are good at it - it's innate!  Mr Perfects - they are all so very perfect - just ask them.   When underneath they are big babies.   You see they think they have to control and order people and women around because they are really insecure.  They are all pretty much looking for their mamas .  And then when they get old, subconsciously they are afraid of being alone so they get sick first and then you see there wives hauling them around back and forth to the doctors yet on the way he is directing, preaching and teaching.  Well, you know, she's stupid and couldn't find her way out of a paper bag.  Because we all know that men are so much more smarter than women.  You didn't know that?

Women have their rolls to up hold and they don't deserve to make as much money as men when doing the same job.  And women should be prettier on TV than men.  And co worker men should sabbotage women's work or hold back information from her so she looks stupid.   It's all because men are one up personlities while women believe in cooperation and working together to get the job done.   Men like to brown nose too.   They protect each other from women.  Women are lessor beings.  You didn't know that?  All women journalist should be beautiful while men can look - you know like men ugh!  Boring!

Obama bores me when he speaks - well, for one thing, I've already heard Hillary said it.  He merely repeats everything she says.  I think that is his "how to win" strategy and of course the male journalist do not see it.  Frankly I think all the men think he is cute - not only Craig - all of them.  Men stick together!

Okay, I'm quitting.   I'm tired.   My fingers are typing and they won't stop.  I love to type. It's the only reason why I blog.  Who would have thought that when I took typing... yes, actual typing classes in high school (I used a typewriter - remember them) that I would be typing the rest of my life.  I typed my hold working career accept the short time I was a hairdresser professionally.  Now sometimes when I use my iPhone, I type with two thumbs only.  You have to love it!

And why is that pretty woman married to McCain.  You see woman are trophies to make men look better, well, more successful.  Or talented enough to get a pretty woman.  Women are owned and shown and hidden behind when boys go wrong - like Craig, Haggart, Spitzer.    And he outed gay governor of New Jersey.   It's too funny.  Women certainly have a purpose:  To make the man look good, to stand beside him even if he cheats on her and makes an ass of her and himself.  Her job is to make him look straight and upstanding.  Oh please - don't make me laugh.   But why do they drag their wives up there to the podium with them - like mommies.  It makes me laugh!  I'd kick him in the ass!  I bet half of them don't tell their wives what the speech is about beforehand either.     Hey, men aren't jerks!  Remember that!  Men are gods - just ask them.  After all they made him up in their own likeness!  Oh please!  I saw through that whole hoax when I was a kid in Catholic grade school.

I'm spiritual and spiritual is how I will remain.  Okay, it's back into the "now" for me - and I will over look this stuff.   Let's see I want to keep the playing field even.  What bad things can I say about women?   Hm - let's see - Z E R O!

Funny how suspense movies make my heart race

and the sight of dog and human interacting warmly makes me cry. I miss my rottweiler, Emma.   She got old and died.   I was watching "The Brave One" with Jodie Foster.  It made my heart race because I was scared for her.   I was afraid her vigilante ways would get her killed.  But a good cop covered for her told her to leave.  She left the scene of her crimes leaving behind her dog that the crooks had.  She walked away and the cop unchained the dog.   The last scene was her walking and the dog running up to her from behind.   It was so cool.  It made me cry and stirred emotions long hidden away.   I've been trying to live in the "now" like Eckhart Tolle author of "The New Earth" tells us to do.  Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't.

I'm stuck in a bad place - so I for one certainly need to live in the moment.   I was missing M while playing golf.   I was missing someone in my life.  I'm okay normally, it's only when I see couples that I realize I do miss a relationship.  But I suck at relationships.  No I do!  I had a good fifteen year relationship which I ended about three and half years ago - already.

When I fell in love with the good doctor.  I miss her.  I miss her arms around me holding me close healing my heart.  She saw my pain.  She felt my pain.  I did not expect her to put her arms around me.   I knew I would never see her again.  I tried very hard to memorize her face that day.  Odd! when she was holding me - up in the left corner of my mind was a dark shadow.  My friend says that why my spiritual guide.   Okay, I'll go along with that.   But, I think too, my spiritual guide had her arms around me.   Did you ever want to be held by someone so much, that when they do hold you, you find you almost can't feel their arms around you.  I wanted to hold her back.   I was almost numb.  I was afraid I would hold her too hard.  I couldn't feel.  

I could feel her heart though, her healing heart - so close to mine.  I think a heart-to-heart spiritual bond was formed then.  It must have been or I've gone completely nuts.  I long for her.  I've been longing for her for almost four years now - in my quiet times - like this.

The shadow, the spirit guide, in a way - let me know that it was okay for me to tell her, let her know I loved her.   Suddenly, the wicked wick from the East face flashed in color before, demanded me to not forsake her for another.  It was weird!  Suddenly I was angry and push the image of my mother away.   I think I had help (the shadow).  From that day forward, I could not stand to be in my mother's presence.   Well, I never really could - but it was almost; in fact, it was impossible to be in her presence.  So much so, that I had to jump up and leave the room.  I know that now when things upset me - I jump up and leave the room.  I don't confront.  I just leave.  Like when M, the woman I was dating, slipped pictures in of her husband, along with hers and mine's vacation pictures.  I just jumped up from the table.  Why would you do that?  She had to know that those pictures were on that CD she made.   Anyway - that's another entry.  Another time!

I kissed that doctor then - on the cheek.  I felt her hair move against my skin.   I felt the softness of her skin. It was magical, spiritual.  She moved me away then, just a bit and put her hands to my face.  Her eyes, so dark deep brown, were an inch from mine.  I wanted so to memorize them (I have).  I wanted to look into them forever. I wanted to kiss her.  I see them now.  I loved her very much then.  I still love her.

Her eyes were wanting to search mine to see what was there - what was going on.  I couldn't look at her.  After a second I looked down.  I did wrong.  I did so wrong to fall in love with her.  Damn, it's been happening all of my life - falling so hard for a woman.   Always out of reach - forbidden - can't have.  My mother was out of reach - when I was small I know.

I fall for women out of reach.  Angels, I can't touch.  Hearts that can't love me back - because they are straight or in another place.   It's imprinted in my heart.  Like baby ducks following the first thing they see move.  The first thing I loved rejected me; kept me at a distance.  I could never reach here.  Yes, it has affected my sex life - tell me about it.

I can't do relationships.  I can do friendships.  My ex and I pretty much had a fifteen year friendship.  I could probably count the times of love making on my two hands.  Cuddling - some.  Not much.  We were matched that way - I guess.  Affection, I guess was at that time in our lives difficult for both of us.   Although we loved each other.  In other ways we were well suited.  In practical, common sense ways.  Oh, I've been to therapist, numerous therapist.  

If I don't have sex for a long time - then okay.  But after a while in a relationships when one little thing is  - I don't know what?  Assumed?  Or different - not what I expected in a person.  I don't know.  I think I turn off because they weren't affectionate enough.  I can't reach the end (reminds me of "Nights in White Satin...").   Anyway.  

I think I did just hit on something and I hope I'm over it now, as I write through it.  Number one, I think I have learned to love and except myself.   The summer of 05 I had the same problem when I dated a 35 year old; I was 57 at the time.  She was fine with me.  I was too at first.  But, then I guess I thought I don't deserve to be loved. Or thought it would end anyway.  You know that self-fulfilling prophecy thing.  I pushed her away.   I truly did.  I pushed her away.   Well, let's put it this way - it ran it course.   Actually, I believe that she was a gift from heaven.  She was what I needed at the time.  She was perfect and temporary.  It took me a year to get over her.

Then came late summer of 06.  I think the missions - the true mission began then.  But first:  You know I think my mind played tricks on my.  For one day in October 04, I heard a plane.  Oh she was low, buzzing my condo on the east side (I moved since then across the river).  It was another beautiful day (magical? I didn't know spirits on the other side could control the weather too.  Guess they can.  I most magical days are beautiful, sunny days.  A plane flew low, very low.  I stepped on my back patio to see a small blue pin striped plane flying from the North towards my condo's roof (yes, that low) as if in making a U-turn.  If the sun would not have been a glare on her windshield I would have been able to see the pilot.  I know I would have.   My brain tells me it was the good doctor.  My heart tells me it was.   See how our mind plays tricks on us.  Wow!  Well, whoever it was sure could fly that plane.  I'm telling you - in my heart I knew it was her.   Checking on me.  I hoped loving me.  But, probably curious, making sure I was alright.

I miss her.  I miss her heart.  I miss her arms around me.  I am out of my mind.   Anyway, long story short.  I ended a fifteen year relationship.  Not because Ezekiel my channeled spirit said the time for us to be together has come to an end.  But because like I told my ex - I felt it was bigger then both of us; the reason why I had to move on.  I hurt her.  I was numb; but somehow felt for sure that I had to do it - move on.  Ezekiel told me the good doctor was trying mentally, emotionally to fit me into her life and found no place.    On one occasion he told me I was shuffling papers and she was doing the technical work.   I was a mess.

In May of 05 I ditched my family (I have no regrets in that department - none at all).   They're gone.  I moved and didn't bother to tell them.   I'm a free woman now!   I've never felt more free.   I'm finally free to be me; although they would say I was always free all along.  I wasn't.  It was horrible It was like being on the outside looking in through the store window at something you can't touch and definitely can't have - out of reach!    No wonder my sex life gets screws up.

The good doctor never left my mind.  I often wondered why.  I mean I can see her being my catalyst to change - but why were the feelings so strong; so deep.   And why is she always on my mind?

Now here comes the real mission I was on.   Or was it part one of two missions and I haven't completed part two yet?   We'll see!   Anyway, that was a lesbian I had noticed for a couple of years; she had been introduced to me through a mutual friend.   There was just something about her.  Maybe something forbidden.   I never thought our paths would cross.  She was dating someone for a long time (besides having a husband at home - she said she would never leave).   Hm?  I didn't know that then.  Anyway, 9/11/06 I run into her at a race enough.  It was the one where I rode ten miles or more on a front flat tire on my bicycle.  Yeah.  I was buzzing along.  And only ten minutes shorter when the year before when both tires remained inflated.  How about that?   Anyway, another long story short I hooked up with this woman, I'll call her M for privacy sake.  We became lovers.  Afternoon delights.  I was on a secret mission and didn't know.  Yes it was secret to me.

You see people (souls) on the other side I realize now can direct us too, not only the weather - I'm finding out.  Anyway, here's the mission:  You see Edy passed in 02 and her 30 year partner Georgette passed a year before in 03.  M had an affair with Edy during their 30 year relationship (yes, soon after she got 'married' to what's his name).  Yes!

So, my mission, and I think Edy picked on me because I went to speak with the spirit of Ezekiel  and because I ran and did some of the same events that M did at the time.  You now my ex once said when I told her all this that she had a hand in it too because it was her idea that we visit the person who channels Ezekiel in 1992 or there about.

So, here is how it went down.   M would speak of her good friend Edy, who was an artist, (now I know who is helping me be artist) and how she missed her.  And I would say - I think she watches over you.   (and that just popped out of no where when I said that.  It was one of those fast, instant, thoughts that just fly out of your mouth but yet feel so right when you hear yourself saying the words - I know weird).   On another ocassion the same thing happened, only I said - I think she would like to speak to you.  No crap - really I said that.  Again the words just popped out of my mouth in an instant, as soon as I thought them.  Almost simultaneously.  Again now I realize it was Edy speaking through me.  Oh, I was happy, content, sure footed, as confident as can be and every thing seems so right - like when I approached her after she said she need someone ( oh you know what I mean!).   So we hooked up.

So, one day another thought popped in my head and I said if I make an appointment with Ezekiel for you would you go and she said "yes".  So we went.  She got nailed.  But the woman is very stubborn and she won't leave him (the husband).   I listened to the tape and the next part is truly fascinating to me it explains the "mission".  Then I hear Ezekiel ask M if there was someone she would like to speak to and she replies yes Edy.   And Ezekiel said well she is right behind you pacing patiently.   So they chat through Ezekiel, back and forth.  And then M asked Edy if she sees Georgette and Edy replies "no" and I miss her.  So questions are asked if she would like to bring her forward and Edy said "yes".  So Ezekiel asked M what Georgette's last name is.   Ezekiel repeats it and bingo - here comes Georgette.  I am not kidding!

Georgette and Edy embrace.  As Ezekiel puts it the melt together; they blend; they intertwine.  When I listened to the tape I see faint, see through spirits, some how appearing like roaring twenties flappers dressed, and thin.  Don't ask me why it's the first image that came to my head when I was listening to the tape.  I was listening to it with M.  She was sitting and I was lying on the floor listening close to the radio/ tape playing on the floor so I could hear it good.  I looked up and M was crying.  I went to her and kissed her on the head.  Before that though while I was laying there and listening and caught on to what just happened I let out a big "cool".  "That is so cool".   M, you brought them together again; we brought them together again.  It was really cool.   I was the coolest thing that has ever happened to me - accept for seeing Jesus Christ, in the form of a bum on the Metro ( that's a totally different entry - but really cool too).

So now I feel that I have one in the bank.   And Edy owes me a favor.   So here goes.  You see I have this void in my heart.   But I know that I have to be in a good place for a relationship to work for me.  It's me more so than the other person.  But sometimes I think, if the right person did come along - one that I truly needed and suited to my crazy self then I wouldn't have a detacted emotional, physical problem any more.  I think I lost that physical loving feeling because the previous women in my life perhaps, just weren't what I needed.   I know what I need.   I have always known what I need and I found that in the good doctor.   But something went wrong - because the good doctor is straight.  Hello!  up there - I'm a lesbian needing a lesbian.  But I want her just like the good doctor - since apparently - I can't have the good doctor.. no matter how or why I still feel like I do for her.

That is so weird!   Why did I fall so hard.  Well, in retrospect I can see why I had to fall hard for her - my catalyst to change to get me to M, so we could help Edy.  I guess this is all Edys's planning.  M once told me that Edy gets what she wants.  I truly believe that now.  I've seen pictures of Edy when she was young in her WWII uniform and against at about 65 somewhere in there when she was seeing M.  Yes, M was thirty years younger - a little more than the age different between my summer love of 05, D and also the same age difference between me and the good doctor.   I have much younger friends too, now.  I totally love them.  They are partners.  In fact I have several younger friends I now through running and walking groups.  They're just fun.

Anyway, so every once in a while I have to write about all this to keep from going totally crazy.  But, really, the movie and seeing my friends (couples) this evening, made my heart ache a bit.  And I'm missing M too.   I know we see in people what we need to see about them at the time we need it.  And that is why certain things, like relationship, or mine and the good doctor's brief but many life times lasting, moments are so precious to me.   Some wonderful, magical experiences can take place in minutes but last many lifetimes.

Want to know something else.  Right before the time of the East side fly over, I read somewhere that the good doctor appeared on a certain channel, so I taped the program.  Damn, one day she was briefly on one and I accidently erased it - but after a frightened, disappointed moment I knew in my heart I would see her on the program right away again.   So I kept tapping the show and yes, after a short time she was on again and this time featured throughout the whole show.   See, how magical?   Oh, get this.  After I moved here, I got cable and saw it again and saved it on the Moxi DVR.    Then I got rid of cable and got AT&T U-Verse (which I love) and was again afraid for a second but in my heart I knew I would see the repeat again - and yes, shortly there after I did see another repeat of the same show.  So now I have that save on my AT&T U-Verse DVR.  Is that too cool!  I say - go Edy go!   

Wait I"m not finished.   In february I saw the good doctor again. Well, I never watch the evening news, but on this particular day, M was here and requested to watch the evening news.  Two minutes in - BINGO!   I see the good doctor.  I backed up and record the whole thing.   Now, is that good magical.  Edy  at work I guess.   Thanks Edy.  Please stay with me I need your help.  First of all, I need a clear, brilliant, talented, witty, cute, youthful, wonderfulness about me.  I need my sexual (mental) problem taken care of and I think maybe I should have a good doctor to take care of that.  Actually, I'm scared to death.   And I'll know when something is right - because I know now, when it's right and I'm on a mission (hello Edy - this time for ME please) that I feel as confident as can me and things are timed perfectly and turn out magically.   There is noting more exciting that that.   If I can't have the good doctor - and it has to be right for her and me - and it must be someone just like her and makes me feel the way she does.  She must fill that void in my heart and soul and I think I'll have sexual healing.   (hey, there is nothing wrong with sex  - it's the church that might have screwed me up too - anyway that is what M claims).

So, I"m excited about my future - in fact I can hardly wait.  Each day, I spend at least a couple of hours for my physical health, then I may read, draw, do yoga, run, walk, play golf, swim, journal, blog, sing and play my guitar.  I have a wonderful life.   But, damn, I feel like I'm on a mission - once again.  I mean something is stirring the stars around tonight (and "I'd really love to see you tonight" 'from another song'0.   So, we'll see.  I'm exciting - about has excited as running in that half marathon this past Sunday.  No seriously.  Again - another beautiful day.

And then the day after I had a wonderful time riding 40 miles on my bicycle - oh around a local park out of traffic.  I did four loops and two big hills each time.  Loved it!

Yesterday and today I swam, hit golf balls, today I played nine hole with friends.  Loved it!

I have so much love in my heart with no place to put it.  I want to be in love.  But she must be like the good doctor - I think she and soulfully connected.  We, she and I, had a wonderful spiritual moment.  I know, I can't speak for her only me.  I could have been a total nuance.  But, I felt so at ease and so at home with her.  It was wonderful!   Edy was that all for "the mission"? Or was there something there?  I need to know more.  I need, if not her, someone just like her..just like her with a warm, loving, wonderful, warm heart, so feminine (please no butch), blonde, youthful, active, healthy conscious.  Someone who embraces life like I do and doesn't complain for dig their own graves ( I mean create their own negative realities and environments).  You know we do.  We create our own misery most times.  We need to be "in the now" and one with the universe.   

Okay, here is how it works for me.  Whatever I am doing, I put myself in the present moment and try to keep centered there and focus.  If my mind wanders I bring it back - yes, over and over again.   I find that when I am centered in the moment - things, wonderful ideas, that I remember for a long time afterwards (no need for notes) stick in my mind.  Really.  Same as when I am well rested I perform, get good ideas, and remember things so much better.

So, now onward and forward.   I discovered a wonderful thing for clear minded energy - Cliff Bloc (gell blocs with green tea extract)  great stuff.  There are about six little blocks in on bag and I found that just taking one - gets me wanting to do things, like running, swimming and more.    Great stuff!

Time to draw a little to warm up for meeting the drawing group tomorrow.  Yippee!  My favorite model will be there - she is so cool!   And straight!  Breaks my heart!  Why do all the really cool ones have to be straight.   And for once I want a desirable (well, in my opinion) woman to come on to me.  I always have to make the initial move.  This time I want that wonderful woman I just requested to come to me first, to make the first move or at least be mutual and appear to meet me half way.  Help me out here - please.   

Also, I hope that I have learned enough about myself to maintain my individual self in the next relationship.  I think I am getting so much better.  And I want to be so sexually, magically enmeshed that we are in sync.   Sometimes I think I want someone who plays music so they have wonderful rhythm.   No, really.  Wonderful rhythm with a big wonderful heart.  Someone who can carry on a two way conversation - the good doctor and I could.  Oh, there I go again - dreaming of the impossible.

Thank you universe for all of my many blessings, of talents, energies, good health, wonderful, loving friends, happiness, contentment, my being safe and healthy - I thank you for that.  And if my friends forget to thank you - well please allow me to thank you for them.  I know they are grateful but sometimes they just forget.   Thank you for being my car, clean, neat, nice, no dents, etc., I love my little car and wish to keep it for a very long time.  Thank you for keeping everything in my home nice and in working order - and me too.   Thanks for keeping me youthful, active, agile, flexible, painless, mighty, talented, loving, happy, brilliant, loved, and happy.   Please take good care of my ex too, I can't imagine my life without her in it.   Thank you so much!   And I hope Ezekiel, Edy and Georgette are doing well and are very happy.