Pooped!

I can hardly keep my eyes opened today; I woke during the night with aching knees. Yes! Me wonder woman!

Yesterday Kristi and I ran six miles around the park in the snow; at least two or more inches of it. It was beautiful! It was exhilerating! It was fun! And I cold keep up with the young pup; but, I'm paying for it today. I had heavier well treaded shoes on too and of course moving more rigid to and conscious of slick spots.

Kristi and I are fast buds easily engaging in conversation and coffee. She's fun!

A little bit of Ibruprofen works wonder. I feel fine today! We just went for coffee and skipped the run this morning giving our knees time to heal.

I was up during the night last couple of nights figuring out the Zen tea has lots of caffeine in it.

Namaste!

I was thinking about you at yoga today. I imagined you looking at me the other day and it got me to thinking - and wanting you.

I would love to give you a hand with whatever you need...just let me know with a smile.

I guess I've never felt this way before; but nothing has changed. Funny, I don't care that you see someone else. I surprise myself! I was never like this with anyone else.

But with you, it's like you are infiltrated throughout me. Try as hard as I may to reason it out, it's like a bug I can't shake.

Too bad! It's a shame you can't see me secretly on the side. Now, I'm not generally like this - truly. So, I apologize if this insults you.

Could I handle seeing you secretly. Honestly, truth be told. I would love it.

Namaste!

Yoga today, Writing tomorrow

I begin a writing class tomorrow evening. I'm a little frightened of the adventure. I may be in way over my head in a room of truly gifted people. I won't be able to think.

My book will be a story of lesbians, murder, and subplots to misguide you into wondering who really did it. It's not murder but rather an attempt at murder. You see I can't bring myself to kill her off. She's the other half of a loving relationship. They finally got together and can't erase her, wipe her out. I guess I take my characters a little to personal. But, in the book, there are several people who would have liked to have bumped her off. So, you'll wonder just which one; and then I'll make you think its for one reason but then I'll surprise you when I reveal the real perpetrator and motive.

Hmm, interesting...in my head I just changed it again..only this time better.

No Wonder You Don't Come Out To Play

I was just thinking about you. It has been a while since you have been to see us at the ususal place. Thinking about it, I can't say that I blame you for not wanting to join us Too many weird people? I'm saying that with wild suggestion and including myself in the lot. Well you had E's flirtatious grin, my constant smile, and J's certain sexual jokes that in my mind oddly pop up... Oh I forgot, and then there was k in your way; but C was cool. Anyway, I was just thinking about you. Sorry, I had over extended my boundaries and I know I did; I was feeling a little to comfortable and not thinking about respecting your wishes. E bothers me too; so if I bother you like she bothers me, then I don't blame you for staying away. She has this confidence about her...well, like you said it's what we create in my heads that is not necessarily reality.

I love your principles, the way you think and I love the way you write. I wish you would blog so I could keep up with what is going on with you. I know people bother you and you only know and have a few friends who don't.

I just hope you are doing okay and I think that you probably are.....I truly enjoyed you. You were the experience of a lifetime. I had fun! Please take care of yourself. Remember, if you ever need anything (well, you may change your mind sometime. I know that you are very independent) let me know.

I run, I ran and I will run some more

You know I ran nine miles yesterday and I don't feel like a did a thing. You see, I feel guilty if I don't work out every day. I did do some push-ups and sit-ups too yesterday and stretches.

I have yoga later this evening. I love it! I love all the stretching. I hope the straight man doesn't hit on me again! Jesus, and they talk about gay people - just go away. He's persistent. "Put your mat by mine." The first week I said no; the second week he comes to my end of the room, so I stay in the middle. "I want to be my the fire." I was a little aggravated but when the instructor put her hand on my knee as she knelt by me my heart turned to jell-o.

So after yoga this evening I will run tomorrow. The weather was beautiful today actually better than yesterday. The flowers are in bloom and the bubs are about to burst with spring. Oh yes, we will have an early spring this season. I'm excited!

I am most grateful for my many blessings of good health, wealth, wisdom, beauty, youthfulness, happiness, the loves in my life and my ability to love and reconize love. I am truly fortunate that I dumped the load I carried for years. It's my turn now for me. No body, but me! I am so deserving of this.

We have to think it to make it so...have you ever heard of that? Well, it is true. Watch "What the bleep do we know?" and you'll see it and understand it. You may have to view it several times to get all of the message that lie within. Visualize it, wish it true, dream it true and it will happen...I know!

The Year of the Gay

Wow! What a year for the gay folks! "Brokeback Mountain" up for best picture and now "Imagine Me and You".

Our own cable channel: LOGO

Soon the Republicans will get on the bandwagon. No, too Christian! So full of self-hate! I say self-hate because we usually hate about others what we hate about ourselves. So be careful what you say you hate; you just might "out" yourself!

I use to hated gays when I was very young ( I didn't understand them or I was jealous) and trying to live the straight life. I knew I wasn't gay because I wasn't a dyke. The sprectrum is wild I found out between effeminate men and mannish women to manly men and feminine women. I prefer feminine women...I've dated men already.

It's about time. I think all homosexual sympathetic people should boycote any religion that doesn't opening accept the gay lifestyle. So many of my lesbian and gay friends were raised Catholic and they are so filled with Catholic guilt! Even straight people are so full of Catholic guilt!

It's just a money making organization ran by a bunch of old white males; of which, most of them are gay themselves, wearing designer slippers, little hats, and caps. They are just a bunch of hypocrites out to control you and manipulate you in order to get your money and stick it to your young boys.

Pretty powerful words? Sometimes the truth hurts. Eve made from Adam's rib? Are you sure Adam wasn't made from Eve rib? It's all made up anyway by males! You don't think they are going to put themselves second do you?

Get a grip people; haven't you been fooled long enough?

Do you think god would say he created all men equal and then not intend it to be that way? Males had slaves in the bible and our forefathers had slaves so all men (later they said that the word men emcompassed women too) are not created equal as they promised. Like George Carlin says, it's all bullshit!

I was born just a little too soon and I'm trying to make up time. My new girlfriend is younger, very pretty, slendar, athletic, compassionate, charming, with long blonde hair. We are at ease when we are together. We respect one another. We are knocked off our feet by one another. We laugh alot and we love alot. We feel at home together. I love to watch her sleep. I love when she makes loves to me. I feel completely satisfied and happy. She is truly my ultimate gift. She is younger than I am; she is happy with her work and career. She is at ease and carries no baggage. We concentrate on each other and having fun. It's our turn to be happy and feel loved! She knocks me off my feet! I love her eyes; in them I can see the very heart and soul of her. We love doing the same things. We are so much alike are zodiac signs are identical. We love having our own space and retreive when we need it; we understand and apprecate that in both of us. She is truly a gift from god; she's my heart, my soul with beautiful eyes.

Finally, I am at home!

Better late then never I always say. I've read that as spiritual beings before we embark on our earthy journey we map out a path. We have a path we wish to follow on earth; but society throws us a curve when we get here and it can take years to get back on the path we planned for ourselves.

If I was free to voice my opinion and I am in this country; still, so far anyway, I would say that organized religion is the root of all evil! It's basic principles are the standards by which clergy and politicans screw up what would be perfect human beings' lives.

We are not born prejudice or evil; it's circumstances that greet us when we take our first breathes that shape our lives. So, after childhood we are forced to spend the next twenty years trying to undo what parent, clergy, and politicans have messed up for us.

I beleive all spiritual being wish to come to earth for the altimate goal of finding and living a loving life. We want to love and be loved. What else is there that is of any importance? Not materials things; you can 't takematerial possessions into the next life with you. But, on the other hand, in our subconsciousness which stays with us from one lifetime after another, we can take knowledge, wisdom and love. We come here for intimacy and sex.

I spent my second twenty years on earth, trying to undo the negative imprints of the first twenty years that parent, religion and government done to me.

Think about it? Isn't it about the same for everyone? So, finally around age forty or even fifty we are slowly getting it all spiritually, intellectually and emotionally together. So, now I'm free to love another soul who has had to go through all the same crap! And for what, so we can take the knowedge with us into another lifetime? And the cycle begins again.

The way I feel today is that I could die tomorrow and not care. Believe me, if that would happen I would return almost immediately. Only next time, I would choose wonderful loving, beautiful, spiritual (not religious) parents. Of course I would be a lesbian. Only next time, I'm cutting out all the crap and expressing my sexuality as early as I can. I'm not missing out next time! I'm not holding back or sarificing myself for any one next time. I feel I have lived the first fifty years of my life for my selfish, controlling, self-serving, manipulate mother, the church and the rest of society.

I have been cheated out of a loving life and I recent it! These idiots, (and it seems like a life time ago, who raised) cheated me out of love, affection, nurturing, caring, education, and a sense of adventure and exploration. I was stiffled. I was merely another piece of farm equipment or or fram hand to honor and serve the adults adults. It was demonstrated I had no worth, especially since I was female; males were so much more valued. It was an awful time to grow up in, just awful! It's a wonder I survived. God, please take care of the ones who were truly abused!

And now I filled with anger driven determination. I will have beauty, youth and love in my life. I will be honored with love and nurturing.

Finally, I saw the light by my spirit guides help. This has been the past year of my life! I am refreshed. I have started anew. I have been reborn into my own, no one elses life, only my own. I ditched the family! I should have done it years ago. I moved amongst like minded; like spirited people. The gay and lesbian community is where I am at home. Finally I am at home!

If only we all were free to love and grow and be who we are from the very beginning of life. If only people didn't try to put people into molds and reshape them; and for what? Diversity is a beautiful thing and should be embraced!

More people lives have ended or have been ruined all in the name of religion.