It's about me this time

I'm having a great time. Really! Although I am reminded of M so many times and I miss her. But I just can't bring myself to call her. I don't want to get her here and have the same thing happen all over again. I don't want to jerk her around. I miss her and I feel for her but right now I have to fly solo. Speaking of which, I certainly miss the good doctor. I miss her wonderful loving heart. Thank the universe for that precious moment we had together. Sometimes what takes only a moment can last many lifetimes. She nurtures me with her heart. I take that moment with me so many times. So many quiet times - she's with me. I feel her spirit. Hey, I have great friends and I am learning to live in the Eckhart Tolle's "The New Earth" moment. Have you ever noticed that if you sit and take deep breaths that you can't think about anything in particular while you do that?

I am sitting and I am healing my leg by tomorrow evening to I can run about four miles in the park. I wonder if I will have the nerve to run over that bridge again. The medal spring bridge that bounces when you run over it. I wonder? Maybe after I heal. I know I was not picking up my feet high enough to compensate for the bounce when I ran over it Saturday morning. The vertical steel slates caught the toe of my shoes and I slide a few feet it felt like on my left shoe. Well, it was fall enough that I wondered when and where I would stop; then the toe of my right shoe got caught on a vertical slat and I went down. Don't ask me why they built a bridge like that? It's open slatted you can see the water below and it is springy besides. Anyway, I have ran over that bridge probably fifty times but Saturday I think I was getting tired near the end of a ten mile run (without caffeine help - I'm so proud. Only two little miniature cinnamon rolls from Whole Foods) and I didn't pick up my feet high enough.

I got cut a bit and a huge golf ball size bump arrived by the time I ran the last half mile back to the center where we meet up. My friends were already back and one ran and got ice from the little cafe inside the building for me to hold on the bump. The bump went down fast. I am so grateful because now I know I'll be probably able to run tomorrow evening and do the Run for Sight run on Sunday with five or six of my running buddies. I'm so glad.

Yes, I've been resting, doing just a wee bit of yoga. I can't do downward facing dog because I have large bruises on the pads of each hand. I should be fine by Wednesday evening yoga; however. Can't stop my routine. I feel fortunate - trust me! It could have been worse. I thank the universe for this time of rest and reading and comtemplation.

I think I owe alot to the fact that I learned how to fall when I took Judo lessons way back when I
was very young. I tuck and roll onto my right shoulder. It's automatic and I never try to stop or catch or brace myself. I just go with it. Actually, this smooth bridge (what kind of surface is that - smooth?) allowing me to slide was really much better than a concrete sidewalk. My last two running falls were on concrete sidewalks with my toe caught on the elevated edge of the walk. See, all because I didn't pick up my feet high enough. And never look away when you are running but always be looking about ten or fifteen feet ahead on the surface.

I am trying to live in the moment to breath in the moment and not think about past or future or even distracted by the moment. I know that life is temporary and I want to make good use of my time here - in this lifetime. I am most grateful for my agility, my active capabilites, my wonderful good health, perfect sight, lack of fear, my safety, being free of accident and illnes. I am grateful for every limb and part of my body and my brain and mind and spirituality. I am grateful for my home, my car and all of my possessions and the fact that they are all working well and free of any mishap. I am so grateful for that! Thank you!

Life is grand and I am most grateful for my good health and wonderful friends. I am truly trying to find my inner spirit and to do that I must separate mind and spirit. Our thoughts are not our spirit but rather our ego. The other day I was really worried about the gift I was going to give a friend for her birthday and then I realized that it was my ego that was worrying - so I stopped worrying. I had already gotten the gift - so why worry about it. It's done. She was grateful for the gift. So, it's all done.

Tomorrow I ask the universe to make my day magical and manificent and in the moment of spirituality.