Do you know that WE all need SEX! Yes! Like breathing and sleeping..it's important. Now I can't vouch for heterosexual sex even though I've had it with several partners in my younger, straighter days. I just don't get straight sex. Sorry! To me it is dirty, selfish and nasty! Well, the church teaches that too you know; anyway, it did when I was a kid. And don't put your hands between your legs....the priest looked directly at me when he commanded that and shook his finger. What evil people make up the church! What a horrible abusive phase of my life! It seems like another world - an evil world. How did I ever survive?
I guess my spiritual guides were watching over me. Finally around age forty I came to my senses and realized that I was a lesbian. I love sex with women - I can give as well as receive. I was born to make love to a woman. No wonder the hetero sex felt so foreign and selfish on a man's part..he took. He was happy. He was satisified. I was unfilled. Something was missing. Yes, you can love a person, sex can feel good even reach orgasm, but something can be missing. I never really connected emotionally or spiritually with a man. I had nothing to give and really didn't want to reciprocate love making.
But we all need sex according to doctors of mind and medicine and me - I agree. We need intimacy.
I can't begin to figure out the past or the lack of things that I needed. I began life socially, morally, and spiritually in a negative state and since then have been determined to move in the positive. I believe I am almost there. But still have that nagging sense of wanting to please and needing to feel accepted. Oh the hell with it! They are not important! I can only please myself!
So, onward and upward I move into a new dimension of self-hope, love and creativity....speaking of which...it's time to get back to work.
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