Keeping up with the Jones

New book out...well she was on NPR. I believe the book was published in 2006. The book is titled: "Green with Envy: why keeping up with the Joneses is keeping us in debt" by Shira Boss

I haven't read it yet...it's on my library list of request. I guess that statement is true. I mean look at all the huge SUV's out there and mostly driven by young suburbanites, women in particular. I have to admit I believe I notice more women driving them than men. Astonishing! And they are blonds usually! And tall and thin..I might add. Oh, and heading towards the mall..

I find it hard to keep up and I'm not even trying..what does that mean. I do treat myself now and then with groceries. I'm kidding. But some people would not be kidding. I treat myself with "Body World 3" tickets for my friend and I. I treated my ex with a $50. ticket to see our next and first female president. I treated her too with some firewood..just a little.

Oh here comes that non stopping three year old from downstairs. The kid talks none stop. Lord help me. Oh false alarm. whew! Oh no. I hope it's not the people with the yapping little dog that they leave alone for hours. I may have to double my dose....I have a half marathon to run in the morning...my nerves keep me awake as it is. I don't know why I put myself through this..the run is nothing...it's the anxiety I suffer the night before.

Now where was I. Groceries. Oh we all have an excuse. The price of gas as risen per barrel...nearing a hundred bucks now..so the cost of groceries and just everything else I might add has gone up substantially in price. And once more it will never come down. But wages have not gone up. In fact more jobs are being done in third world countries. Oh sure, we have tons of minimum wage service jobs around.

Our running group is volunteering to man a sales booth at the ice hockey arena for five or six hours. I am volunteering to get the experience..never know when it might come in handy. I know Panera's hire older people I've seen them in there...or was that the manager's parents? I haven't seen them lately. They were both very nice. In fact preferable over perhaps the younger set who are sometimes more distracted. And always women are preferable over men...I know I shouldn't stereotype but...women tend to be more softer and considerate and polite. The young men are in a hurry...it's more important to just get it out there....dog eat dog. Hurry up!

Well, that's the corporate world anyway...dog eat dog. And see where it got up..India. Now many IT jobs are done in by the people in India. Tax returns are even processed in India. Don't you just love the United States of America...now the whole damn world knows your personal business. But, Bush allows the lobbyist to influence him with money and votes and they get the red carpet and the green light...anything goes. No matter if it is crooked, shaded, fraud, theft or death..anything goes. Health insurance company pay doctor to deny your operation..say it's experimental, not needed, too bad...tough luck.

You know when I listen to some of this needless killing I am even beginning to value life less. What's a life? Hell I'll just come back...next time the way I want too. I'll be a lesbian for sure! I'll be fearless, extremely intelligent with loads of common sense and a big heart...warm like my mother's will be. She'll be wonderful...tall and blond...she won't drive a gas guzzler SUV though.

Which reminds me. Have you ever watched Lisa Williamson, clairvoyant? Well, she communicates with pasted souls who are hanging around...I think they are all pretty much hanging around if they choose to be near their love ones. Anyway, this one woman's mother died when she was six. This woman missed her mother very much..I think she was about in her 40's and her daughter was about to have a baby..and the passed spirit of the grandmother as much said she was coming back. So, the new baby will be the grandmother reincarnated. I think that is so exciting.

Well you know my friend and I aided in reuniting two passed souls in the afterlife. Yes, it's true! I think that I was destined to hook up with my friend M so I could take her to Ezekiel, channeled spirit, I visit through JC occasionally. It was my journey. I told my ex when we split...this is bigger than both of us! I was on a mission. Still don't know why I had to fall so hard for the good doctor though...and it lasted so long...she is still in my heart. But, anyway, I believe E, passed spirit (11/03), guided me to M. So M could talk to Ezekiel and those two could reunite E with G her also deceased (11/02) and E's partner of 30 years. You see, M came between them for a while. I think G held a grudge. After about nine months of a hot relationship between M and I (I only mention this because personally I think E had something to do with that!), we went to see Ezekiel...and yes, E and G were reunited. I have the tape to prove it. But for a while afterwards my relationship with M faded..the sparks were gone...I prayed to E and G..."you owe me" I reminded! I need those sparks to return. I need my fear taken away.. After a whole year...of having through the ceiling and out the roof experiences...I want them back! It's getting better ... but not quit there yet!! My theory is now that the mission of over two years or who knows more..is over...E doesn't need me or is too busy...distracted? She and G have each other now..

You see I knew that I was on a special mission because I felt so sure and confident about everything I did pertaining to my new life..that began at age 57. A whole new life to explore. My sexuality to explore. This doesn't pertain to me, but did you know that Christine Hawthorne, said that mid age may be a time of "change in sexual orientation". Well, I think we are born lesbian or gay..I think for some...they wish to live the straight life as they raise their children and first come out or meet up with their inner selves around age forty. I did. I tried like hell to live the straight life...of course I thought I was the only lesbian around. I wasn't a butch dyke so I kept denying my inner self...saying I can't be a lesbian..I just love her. What threw me off was good sex with men...although I couldn't really give back...wasn't into it. All the pieces came together when I DID finally have sex with a woman...I thought I had died and gone to heaven...I could give back...I wanted to give back...I wanted to give. I was born to make love to a woman! I was at home! Nothing can compare to the touch of a woman. Funny when I see straight couples...I think...what's in it for her? Sorry, but that is the lesbian in me....

Well see there I got totally off track again. I was talking about being green with envy and in dire straits in debt...if I don't stop my spending.. I'll be right there with the rest of them. But, I have an edge to keep my spending under control...no kids. Well, and I'm not trying to keep up with the Jones... I gave that notion up a long time ago. No, I'm busy being my artist self. I am dipping into the creative side of my soul. Besides E promises me...so I think.. to inspire me. She was an artist. And M told me that I reminded her of E. Funny! I think E spoke through me too for things she wanted M to hear like one day M was speaking of E and I knew E being spiritual I said. "I think E watches over you". And then again one day when M spoke of E I heard myself saying. "I think E would like to talk to you". Hello! She was there waiting for M when I took Me to speak to the spirit, Ezekiel.

I listened to the tape in amazement and then all the pieces came together of my directed mission...when I heard M ask E "Are you with G?" and via Ezekiel E replies. "No, and I miss her" Ezekiel asked if they wish to reunite and E must have said yes and so Ezekiel asked M for G's last name. After M said it. Ezekiel goes..."Oh, she comes fast!" E and G giggle and weld into one...as Ezekiel explains it. Such a wonderful story....but E can't leave me hanging! Fill my heart with desire and release... I need to let go of so many things. Help me!

And please look after the good doctor...make her days wonderful, bright, brilliant and every case successful. I feel her heart ... I feel her love... I miss her. She, the catalyst to my life change... I will love her forever. And I am here for her....always....forever! In a split second something passed, happened between us...something with our hearts...that made them ache.. and become very concerned about each other..... She asked about me recently.... I was five feet off the ground for days....my heart danced...it's been three years....and she still was concerned.... I love her very much!

Time to sedate and go to sleep...oh let me sleep..big run in the morning..half marathon...make me fast, swift, painless, light on my feet. Make it effortless...dry, cool, not cold. Thanks in advance! Make it magical!