What winter means to me

Personally, I like winter. I prefer to run in cool of winter rather than the heat of summer. I say cool instead of cold because I warm up fast and easy while running in winter to the point where I am shedding my top layer of long sleeve wick away runn shirt. I usually start out wearing two long sleeve shirts and running shorts. Usually 30 degrees is the cut off temperature for shorts before I put on long pants.Since I've started running in winter it seems winter passes by quickly and I don't seem to mind the cold as much since I'm out in it more. Maybe I'm just in better shape since I usually try to run about an hour every other or two days.Another reason why I don't mind winters is that for the past few years our winters in the Midwest have been on the mild side. I think it's been about ten years since our area has had lots of snow.I live in a good area now and close to everything I do so really do not mind snow or other wintery weather because the streets are tended to in a decent amount of time.

Winter means a time to cozy up and cuddle up with a good book, paint, draw, play guitar, and read that book I've been meaning to read since summer. Summer is more for out door activity and winter is for a little less out doors and little more in door activity. I still try to walk all my errands in a ratio of five miles in winter.Winter is a time to reflect and take inventory of my soul. You know none of this material crap we covet is worth anything on the otherside. You can't take it with you. Suddenly, in a split second, your ethics, honor, integrity means everything.

I'd like to think that I'm right on track with my spiritual side. I am facinated by the after life. I think our spiritual guides do just that ..guide us. I think sometimes for their own purposes though. Yes I do!Okay, I'll tell you why I think that. I have been seeing a woman who channels a spirit named Ezekiel for some ten years now. Oh about twice a year I'll go..in 2004 I went more often because something was going on with me. I fell in love and ended a 15 year relationship then in 2005, the following year ditched my family (haven't spoken to them since...the best thing that I ever did and should have done it years ago). Funny thing was I was absolutely sure of my every move during my whole life change process. I even told my ex that "it's bigger than both of us"(the reason I need to move on. See, I was driven and I felt that I was spiritually led. Actually, my ex has her needs to help another...and they are together now..a good match. A better match! Truly. I still love her ..she's family to me. But I had my own path to take.

Well, in the fall of 2006 I met a woman and she and I hooked up. She told me about Edy and her 30 year relationship with Gorgette. Edy was an artist. My friend always talked about Edy..that they had a thing going for awhile. Yeah! Edy died in the fall of 03 and Gorgette in 02...they were both in their 80's when they died. Yeah Edy was about thirty years older than my friend at the time of their little fling (yes while Edy was in a relationship with Georgette).Will, my friend showed me a picture of Edy and told me how spiritual and magical Edy was. I found myself saying. "I think she watches over you". and later when she spoke of Edy I found myself saying "I bet she would like to talk to you." No shit...it just popped in my heaHere's another thing that makes me think Edy was guiding me for her purposes too is that I felt absolutely confident and sure about my every move regarding meeting and hooking up with my friend. I mean it was magical. The day was beautiful. The right words were exchanged. It felt magical. That whole thing felt right from falling in love with the doctor (she was my catalyst to change..but much more I still love her and think about her I haven't seen her for three years..but she was the one that got things in motion. Oh, she didn't know it..the change was within me.. no one else. She was just part of that spiritual influence. Anyway, I got my friend there to speak with Ezekiel and in the course of the meeting he asked if she would like to speak with anyone (because a spirit was there eager to speak with her..yes Edy). My friend said. "yes, I would like to speak with Edy". and Ezekiel responded she paces behind you patiently waiting. My friend asked Edy if she was with Georgette and Georgette replied "No, and I miss her". So, Ezekiel asked if they wish to be reunited and Edy said yes. Then Ezekiel asked my friend for Edy's last name and as soon as he said her full name he says. "My, she comes quickly". Edy and Georgette embraced and melted together as he described it. I heard the tape recording that the channeler gave to my friend and as soon as I heard it.. I connected all the dots and it made sense.Edy was guiding me to get my friend there so she and Gorgette could have my friend help reunite them. I'm thinking maybe Gorgette was a little sore about the fling my friend and Edy had... maybe that is why my friend had to be there to help reunite them.

I felt my purpose was to help get my friend there for that purpose of reunited Edy and Gorgette. I firmly believe that because I felt so sure in all the things I did and everything that happened to me seemed right and was right for me.Well, I got my freedom (from family) out of it. I am still very close friends with my ex and she and her new girlfriend and I and mine are all good friends. I still love the doctor (in my heart..she's an angel in her own right. Maybe she's god to me..the warmest, caring person I ever met). I love my freedom. I truly love my freedom. I love being able to delve into my art. I enjoy my gay "family".

I get so tired of people assuming I'm straight. I've hidden my lesbianism all of my life. I'm tired of it! There is nothing wrong with loving another human being..it's not war..it's love. I hate that the church dictates law..but it does. You see in the spirit world (on the otherside) there is no sense of time, no gender or age...only spirits. And as stupid as you are when you die that is how you are there..and I guess the beginning of your next life. As we past from one life to another our subconsious (our souls) stays with us. We are here to learn and help.Since the Edy and Gorgette espisode I feel very connected to the spiritual world. Edy the artist helps me whenever I asked her to. They protect me from the world and myself.You know we are only a breath away from the other side so how can we not feel connected? Life is grand knowing this.We are all connected here on earth too (with the universe). We only have to realize it to make it so. Our energies are connected. Did you ever think about someone and they call? Recently I couldn't get the good doctor out of my mind..she was there when I went to sleep and woke up in the morning. I soon found out there after that my friend had gone to see her for a doctor's visit and they talked about me. Yes, after three years the good doctor remembered me. I floated five feet off the ground after hearing that. "She was geniunely concerned." My friend say. My friend didn't know the whole story. I only told her then that I had a crush on the doctor and couldn't see her anymore. She said she could understand that because the good doctor is very warm and personal. All I know is that three years ago I was dying inside and helped me.So, I guess that is what winter means to me...at time to reflect and be graceful. Of course we should be grateful every day of our lives and thank the universe for all our blessings. Even the simple things we take for granite.

Yes it's winter and snow and freezing rain is expected today, tonight and tomorrow. I'll bring wood in to keep it dry and have a fire. I'll draw, read, sculpture and reflect on the loves in my life...and my freedom from the church (that's a whole other story).Oh why now? Why can't we just "be"? Why all the devil, evil and hell stuff and demands of ending abortion. I give every woman credit for her own consciousness...she'll do what is right for her! Get off it! The day the republicans and evil christians put a stop to murder in wars for profit and oil is the day I just might change my mind about abortion...but I doubt it. You know why? Because too many women are coerced into sex via the savy young man, rape, mental rape, emotional rape, gang rape, guilt, a sense of duty, invest or lack of love or a need for attention. Abortion is a woman's ultimate choice and men and law and the church should stay out of it and keep it legal. No way, no how, should a "man" have the last say. Oh most men would love it! But, I say NO! Unless of course they have the baby implanted in their abdomen and carry it for nine months and deliver it themselves. Women are not receptables for sex or displays of anger nor are they incubators for a man's ego!

With that I say .. have a nice winter and happy holidays