First Thunder Storm of Spring..

Well, almost spring. We certainly had springtime temperature today's ...of well into the 70's. I choose the short route and most direct when I ran to the gym to swim and work out. It was lightly raining as I went ran to and from the gym.

On the way back I stopped to buy more Grade B Maple syrup, and lemons (I still have plenty of cayenne pepper in the bottle) for more of the lemon cleanse. I love the stuff. I don't do in salt and water laxative in the mornings. Ugh! In fact, I'm not even fasting to the full extent. I am just choosing more nutritional foods such as herb salad and broiled chicken strips. Or brown rice, vegetables and chicken strips. I'm making wiser food choices.. I hope.

I love this lemon cleanse drink and drink it just because I like it. I have notice too that I no longer get sick to my stomach when I run on different occasions! It's the cayenee pepper, someone told me! I take the drink with me when I run or walk or ride my bicycle. I find that I am drinking more water and my skin and hair ( of course I take specific vitamins for both) looks much better. I'm cute! I'm 35 inside and out and couldn't be any healthier. My bones are young and strong.

I am operating under "the secret" principle which states that we create our own realities by out thoughts. I'm a young chick...there that's my reality. I love it! Why not! Through exercise and better diet.. I'm reversing the aging process or in my case..it never happened! Too cool! I'm loving it! And I'm free to be me!

What have I got to lose? Besides it's fun planning my day and my future and then watching it unfold. I no longer concentrate on the past. To dwell on the past means that I am taking time away from planning my future!

I feel fabulous! Yoga class was exceptional this evening. Maybe I missed being there and was so ready. I missed last Wednesday to bowl for Big Brothers and Big Sisters and spend the evening with my very special young friends.

Damn, it must be windy I hear things shifting and moving. Creepy! No rain, thunder or lightening right now however. According to radar the storm has passed.

Tomorrow I will probably swim and then head on over to the artist guild to draw from a nude male model. Personally, I prefer women models. But this is okay. I saw one of our women models at the gym..nude. We were carrying on a conversation as she dried her hair. I realized that I was beginning to do stupid stuff like turn around and reach up on top of the dyer for my water bottle which was already in my hand. Just dumb stuff like that. I hope she didn't notice. She was telling me how absent minded and bordering on ruge a fellow swimmer was. I've have the same experience with him in the past too. Anyway, so I politely said my good byes and moved on up to the weight machine room to work out sporting a huge smile on the face and a warm feeling in my heart the rest of the day. She's beautiful with beautiful skin. I don't think I was even breathing as I was talking to her. I now have this wonderful mental image to hold onto for a long time. She's very cool! I like her! See, I can keep things in perspective and in the realm of good taste. I think being a lesbian I probably take even more care to be polite and respectful. There was another girl walking around nude too. I didn't go out of my way to turn my head to look. I just appreciate the fact that they are there.

I think I have learned a lot from drawing nude models about human nature and human beings by seeing people at their most vulnerable self's. I respect life, our bodies and what drives us forward to much more I think.

There are so many things that I wish to learn about "us". Sex and loving is wonderful why would anyone say it was bad or say any two conscending adults should not engage in a romantic and loving lifestyle. I feel it's a celebration of life; of who we are and where we have been and what we have gone through. I think as spirits we come to earth in human form for sex. It is a way for our spirits to connect. I feel her very soul when I hold her and our hearts so close.

I think as spirits it is why we come to earth and that is to love and touch each other's hearts. It's the deepest level we can connect on. Anyway, just my thoughts.

Yesterday evening I attended a book signing with the author of four books I read in two days. She lives in my neighborhood. I noticed her indept progression as I read each progressive and continuous story line. I am very much looking forward to her new book early next year. She loves to write.

I love to write too. And somewhere between all the other things I want to do I'll write a book. I already had a good start on one and thought I copied from my old laptop to back up disc...but I can't play this disc so I must start from scratch again. Oh well, it will be more polished this time around and I remember the story line. It will be good practice.

It's early Thursday morning... I am tired and should go to bed but I would rather draw, sign and play my guitar and write. Those things will just have to wait for a few hours.

I'm going to bed and holding my pillow and thinking of her. She told me that is what she does. It touched my heart. Love is a wonderful and powerful gift.

My ex even told me in email that she loves me. Well I was ranting and raving about some dumb bank policy that I feel would be easy for them to correct and diffcult for me to do it on my end. Anyway, don't let me get started again. And then I complained about someone else and in a second email took it back. She and I always listened and appreciated each other's rants.

Anyway, she replies with the "I love you" and it was very sweet and much appreciated. You see her girlfriend will be be moving up here in a couple of months and I'm fearful that I will be put on the back burner. Referring to the "one" time she actually did forget me (to pick me up in the car). I said. "I love you too" then Don't forget me!" like in a few months when your life changes. Then I told her kiddingly that I had a visual of her girlfriend and I out at the pool lounging all day and she coming home after work along with drinks and dinner for us. :) Well, "I" got a chuckle out of that. I believe, that the scenerio may not be too far from the true. :)

Later.. I must get my beauty rest now.