I had a fabulous day!

First of all the weather was as beautiful and beautiful can be; sunny, crystal clear skies, low humidity and perfect temperature.

I began my day by coming in second in my age group of the Run for Sight 5k run downtown. I ran with five of my Frontrunner friends. Two other women came in second of their age group too. A celebratory day!

But, personally, I need to lose seven pounds at least because two years ago I was lighter and came in first in my age group. So I need to hustle. And what did I do but eat a big dinner; but with mostly protein and vegetables. Okay a little pastry too.

What messes me up are the sugary power candies that I buy to maintain energy whiles running and biking. Sugar demands more sugar and causes extremem sugar cravings. Like now. I want more sugar. But, I'll use deep breathing to get past it. A "student" on Oprah's Monday night's Eckhart Tolle's "The New Earth" discussion said that is how he stopped smoking. When he got a smoking craving he took deep breaths and soon the urge went away. He continued this technique until the cigarette cravings totally ceased. So, if he can do it, I can do it.

After the run we six went to breakfast where I stopped eating before I became full. I practiced sitting up straight and holding my gut in, like I'm doing now. I need to lose about ten pounds and I know it. I have no idea why I cannot buckle down to do this. Why it's so hard for me this time.

When I split up with my partner of fifteen years I lost 20 pounds and got down to 117, then 115 and I wasn't even trying. When I got on the scale and weighted 115, I actually, became a little worried. Well, then I fell in love with this young chic and over a couple of months of her wanting ice cream on a warm summer evening and she cooking late evening meals for me, I began to put it back on. I stayed around 125, 126 for a while after we broke up. Then about a fifteen months later I began dating a woman, well, my age, and she brought me candy and stuff all the time. Damn! So then over the course of a nine months I got heavier. She and I dated for about 18 months and I reached 134 or 135 and got mad at myself.

So, my time has gotten worse by 10 or 15 minutes. I know I can do better if I knock off these extra pounds. So, people, time starts now. I need to go to bed hungry. Yes, get into the habit of going to bed hungry. But, after everything we do these people want to go and eat. If only I could use hard core self control and just order water, or tea or something while they eat.

I ask the universe to help me in this new endeavor, which is long over do. I need to get tough with myself and stick to my guns. I know I can do it without heart break. I know that I will feel sexy after I accomplish my mission. And then I guess I well want to hook up with someone - once again - and begin that whole cycle all over again. I get thin and trim and firm and hook up with someone then they feed me to heaviness. Oh, the cycle of love - so weight damaging.

Today I turn a new page. What has happened in the past, just like the stock market, as no true bearing on the future, although it is used as a guide and over all measuring tool.

Help me universe! Believe it or not I over ate my activities today. Running three miles is nothing to wear off weight. Just me! After we ate, my friend and I rode 38 miles. It was a fabulous ride up the river trails about 19 miles and then back again to our cars.

All in all it was a perfect day and I truly thank the universe for my efforts and abilities and just plain wanting to get out there and win a trophy and then riding nearly forty miles. I just might ride again tomorrow - only around the lake. I want to built up my endurance. I liked too riding with this particular friend because we rode together and chatted as we rode. We rode easily at the same speed. Another friend I normally ride with, sets the pace and I have to work to keep up with her; another reason to knock off the extra weight and have only cool lean muscle. I have some good abs and thighs but slightly covered in extra, not needed, fat.

Life is grant. I love this time of the year. I love where I live where I see runners, walkers and bicyclist passing past my window. I love living in the same town where all my friends are located. I love being disengaged and estranged from my weird so call "family". My friends are my family. I despise traditional religious teachings and the whole money crobbing establishment that creates sinners only to be able to control and manipulate them. Sometimes people are just so "fooled" and complance joiners. That how the church workers, they ostracize you if you even think about coloring outside the lines. It pathetic!

So I sit this evening and comtemplate and listen to the birds sing their songs of twilight. The breeze through my window is refreshing nad welcomed. I cool my sun dried lip with a bottle of icy water I've taken out of my cooler. It's good. I'll sleep well tonight, if heavy eyes now is any indication. I love my life. I love my life, I love my spirit guides who protect me and my car and my bicycle and my friends. And help keep me straight and strong and young.

You now I have come to realize something. I rode with a thirty year old today and ran with her first thing this morning. I did good! I'm sixty! Somehow and in many ways we are equals. I love it! You know one time long time ago when I spoke with Ezekiel he told me that there would be a time when I would be good with young people; I believe that was in 1996 or somewhere around that time. Anyway I owe my gay and lesbian running group all the credit to having young friends because we all came together with a common goal and purpose and that was to make new friends and run or walk. Lots of people come along to try to meet someone in the group and when it works or doesn't work out, we don't see them anymore. We have our thiirty or so regulars - both men and women. And everyone says, after a time or belonging, that the group feels like family. Indeed we are a family; a wonderfully, active family.

We know what I have notice about our run walk group? That morning where I don't run for one reason or another and just join up with them for breakfast is that first of all I notice how happy and laughing they all are - because running does that to you. And second of all I notice that I feel guilty for not getting my butt up in time - there is just no good reason to miss running with the group. See how they are motivators? They are family!

So in summary, I had a fabulous day on this goregous day. I thank the universe. I thank Ezekiel, Edy and Georgette my special spirit guides who watch over me and I know they do. I truly dig the way Edy got me to get M to see Ezekiel, so Edy could speak, from the otherside, to M and have M have Ezekiel call G forward (on the other side) so G and Edy could reunite. Still following me? Hey, no snickering! I have it all on tape! All on tape! And when I heard the tape, I was blown away. Cool! I looked up and my friend M was crying. I leaned over and kissed her on the head. See she shared something wonderful with E several years before E passed. G had passed the year before E. I know I have mentioned them several times in past entries. Well, the whole phenomimum is so magical and miracluous to me. It was a wonderful journey and I felt so self assured and confident and the right worlds just popped out of my mouth. Hello! Edy was putting words in my mouth and helping me to feel confident so I'd go after M. Funny, I wanted and needed sex and it just so happened M felt the same. See how magical and wonderful the universe is and the happy, watchful spirits there are? I wouldn't mind being placed on another mission. For all I know I could be on one now. I sure got more generous, calm, helpful and more charitable after all this. I got what I need too out of all this.

I got sex, but all in all I kept my independence. I love my automony! I don't really know if I want to be a couple. I like to do things with friends. I have many. I need to do more with a lot of them. And the fun seasons of Spring and Summer are upon us and there are so many opportunities and I hope and plan to take advantage of out side concerts and activities. Life is meant to be fun - not like the evil church as told us for centuries, especially women, sacrifice, offer up, give, give, take care of, and your rewards will come in heaven. They were just self serving hypocrites in my good book! Hell, you can tell men wrote up, made up, the bible - it's self seving to them. Hello! Doesn't take a rocket science to figure that out! I had that figured out when I was a kid and got the short end of the stick all the time. The double standard - I grew up with it.

I was telling my friend today that I never saw women ride road bike with helmets and gear like men did when I was in my thirites and it made me feel so jealous. Men got to do all the fun stuff. Women played half court basket ball in stupid blue monkey suits. Just how sick was that?

It makes me feel so good to see women coming down the trail in the helmets and jerseys and commanding performance from their road bikes. God so refreshing! And how we are soon to have a woman president - oh how I ask the universe to make it so. And 60 year old Hillary is perfect for the job. Perfect! Sharp, witty, talented, fabulous debater and will be a better president then any man we have had before...because a woman can multitask and has better, warmer, social skills. Just read "The Female Brain" by Louann Brizendine, M.D.

Yes, I had a fabulous day, I do everyday in my magical, wonderful, spirt guided life. Thanks