I want a change! It can even be death (no illness or injury); but I want a change of heart! I need a change, a big change in my life. I need a sexual loving relationship. A mutual relationship with a youthful, healthy, active, loving, free-spirit, young at heart woman.
I need a change of heart. I need to push all fears aside and be brave and daring or die whatever comes first. I'm a little sick of all this shit, quit frankly. I'm sick of seeing happy people. Fuck 'em!
Oh, I guess I'll go to bed. I can't keep my fire lite. I'm tired. And maybe we will have a foot of snow by morning and in that case.. I probably won't see her for a week.
I just need to see her soon..to heal my heart. You see, I had a crush; an in appropriate crush (what other kind is there?) on a young woman. She's with another and it broke my heart. I like who she is wish. I'm just jealous. Their relationship is something I never had at that tender age they are. I was cheated so badly and I have felt for sting now for years. I wish god or the universe, whoever, loved me enough to give me a loving, sexual, compatible, mutual love relationship.
I say I don't want a relationship but I do... I want to be in love. I'm just jealous! I never had a loving giggly relationship.
I saved the seats, I gathered the friends, I bought some drinks too. We danced. But I didn't get the girl. It's time to put a little space in between them and me - for a while.
And it will be okay.. I suppose. Hopefully, I'll get that space and the love of my life
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