So Far So Good!

These are the best times of my life and I am most graceful! Although the day is cloudy and gloomy, my spirits are lifted. My mind is clear and bright! It's a rest day for me in a way just in case I may be coming down with something I'm taking it easy today. For some dumb reason, I woke up at 3:33 AM. I think I have been up and about ever since. It's 11:26 only... and I need a nap. I woke up this morning with an upset stomach; well, sort of, kinda of. It's better now! It's a relaxing day for me. It's going to rain later.. I'll light a fire and L will come over and we'll watch Roseanne on HBO "Blonde and Bitchie". I never got to eat at all yesterday. I wanted to run in the morning so I couldn't eat. Then later on, I wanted to run in the evening so I couldn't eat. I just transplanted several plants. NO MORE PLANTS! I don't have any more room for them! Rain will be moving in later today, possibly thunder storms so I'll latch down the hatches and board up the windows. Well, they're not supposed to be that severe anyway. Today's a good day. This is the best time of my life! The past is forgotten - forever. I hope I never see any of them again! My friends are my family! I'm in part of a new phase of my life and I love it. I'm 35, so says my 35 year old friend. To the question, if I love a younger woman, she saids. "Why not, you're like a 35 year old". That was the best compliment of my life! I have the coolest friends! My ex said recently. "They see what ever you put out there." And you know that is very true. My youthful soul illuminates out from within, shines, and is reflected back from my friends. I believe what we put out there comes back, sometimes two fold. I am very fortunate to have wonderful friends of all ages. My age is merely a number..truly. We are or become what we believe we are and what we want to believe we are. I missed the lesbian life in my 20's and 30's, the evil church, family, and sociel influence had me living the straight life. I hated it! I was with him but secretly loved her...it hurt so bad! If only one time, just one time, I would have had sex with a woman I never would have gone back to a man ever again! The more arouses I make her, the more aroused I become. But, in the past, with a man - there was nothing. I only received and I had nothing thing to give. I hurt people and wasted both of our time because of igornant, hypocritical white ruling men of the church, government and the rest of society who are mainly gay themselves but just love to sneak! Evidently sneaking around is a turn-on. Actually, I think most men want it all. They want the wife and family for show, heritage, prestige, normal society appearance; but, secretly they want to sneak a young man lover. Personally, if you observe male behavior all men act gay to me. They watch sports with their buddies. They would rather hang out with their buddies than their wives. They complain about their wives, don't help out at home with chores or with taking care of the kids. They're gay! I worked with a guy, who was on the phone constantly to his wife. She definitely as the boss. Oh he just agreed with her and they talked talked. But, when a man walked into the room, a white co-worker or boss, suddenly he became very butch and criticized and verbally degraded women. What a hypocrite! But, guys feel they have to butch up around other guys so they don't come across as gay. Sometimes we so hate what is inside of us that we project outward and take it out on others - being hateful to others. Men more so than women, because men are projectors. They project every problem onto others as if it were someone else's problem not theirs. Many men are in denial. Many men are mere puppets and watch and do what the other guy does or listen to some radio talk show host whose an idiot! Men have to be heard; they are loud and need to be entertaining. It is so annoying. Women, especially gay women, are soft warm and wonderfully giving (most of them). NO wonder I hate men. I was forced to date them by society and its pressures. I feel that I wasted half of my life and yes I have taken it out on ignorant others. Why not! Stupid ass ignorant society made up of ignorant narrow minded Christians - just bullshit! And that bible and those stupid rules! I am a spiritual being. Be honest people! I think we all know the difference between right and wrong and we know to still within the law of the state and federal government. We do not need religion to control, command, or dominate us with their stupid ass rules. It's all bullshit! The power lies within each and everyone of us; but evil religion doesn't want us to know that. They tell us we are sinful and evil and need to be fixed and corrected, when it is religion that is truly evil. Oh, and they want your money! Oh, and have many children so they can spread their faith around the world. Of course they won't help you support them...they want YOUR money and give theirs to you. The Christians teamed up with the government to help get Bush re-elected. Oh, he made them all kinds of promises he never intended to fulfill. Just lip service for their votes. Well, finally people of America got wise. Yes, the people of America finally got wise and read between the lines and voted accordingly. Voted out were the selfish special interest group republicans. The Democrats now will run the house and the senate. Bush will still be an idiot but what can we do about that. I think his second term was rigged....and don't try to tell me it wasn't! There would have been mutuny if the republicans would have rigged the mid-term elections. There was too big a turn-out for change for them to even consider rigging it. Besides, I think the republicans know they dug themselves in a hole. Rove even looks like an idiot! cheney just has big business - his won - Haliburton and oil and his mind. Bush has no mind of his own.