Quiet Evening, Early Evening

Day is done and I'm ready for bed...I'll hold my pillow close, my arms wrapped around it and think about my loves. I listened to the Ezekiel tape again today after I bought a new tape player to replace the old broken one. Was it a sign? Was it important that I play the tape again. Ezekiel says the age problem is my problem that this new society, the modern society is not that age conscious. And they are not - at all. He suggested I need to make the move, otherwise it goes on like it is; just caring about each other, but neither party making any moves. Personally, I think Ezekiel might have been mistaken? She has a crush on another, or did... Then there is my lover - she is very warm and caring and after the loving holds me very close our hearts together beating in syn. She cares about me I know. I love the closeness; the sweet affection so welcomed. I can't change things now, neither can she..but we treasure what we have..so warm. I saw her yesterday..and I still feel her closeness. All I can say is thank god and the universe for her, for my love last summer and for future loves because they are truly gifts..since I missed out on loving women in my 20's and 30's and yes, even 40's. I'm just getting going..I love them so much. I never should have been with men - at all! Family, church, government and society, the straight society are so wrong. I could never give my all with a man..I went though the motions. I'm so at "home" with a women, it's wonderful..she sighs and tenderness touch my soul and heightens my needs and desires. It's magical! Oh what I have missed all those years....god it's not fair! The longing was awful all those years..my heart ached and ached and ached. If I would have had just one woman all those so many years ago, I never would have ever been with a man. It's just not in my make up. I'm sorry for all the men I was with, searching for that magical man who would change me (yeah right!) and set me straight, but knowing in my soul it would never happen. I love women, soft, warm, tender, caring, sweet, lovable women..I'm home. I'll miss her next week. There's another love that I have. I love her dearly and she knows it. My heart is out there for her to do or not do with as she wishes. I love her very much. In my eyes she can do no wrong. My eyes are tired I woke up too early this morning..thinking of the good doctor. I love her still and miss her..it's been a year or more since I got a glint of her and her me in passing. Before I go to sleep, I'm watching Bill Maher and his panel of Candy Crowley and another person said that if the Demcrats would have lost the American people would have been up in arms and acusing the republicans of fraud. And they all agree as I, that we should have gotten paper receipt to take with us showing how we voted. Yes, WE should have gotten a paper receipt...a paper trail. The race was close all around on all issues except raising minimum wage which passed by a far 74% yes ahead of the no's. Sleep well my loves, it time for me to sleep now and dream sweet dreams of all my loves. Thank you so much universe for allowing me to have a second chance...I'm youthful, active, happy, and fun loving and so enjoy my many wonderful friends. Life is wonderful! I recall the day of the biathlon, I prayed on the way there and asked that the day be magical and it was so magical. I went alone. The day was exceptionally beautiful...my bless magical days are clear and bright and sunny. The run went well, but twelve miles into a 22 miles bicycle race, I got a flat and wasted about seven to ten minutes finding a pump from another rider to pump it up; which was to no avail. So, I rode that last ten miles on a front flat tire at speed of 16 MPH and downhill at times at 22 MPH. Later after the race she and I chatted we soon discovered we have similar or matched needs, if you know what I mean. I saw the pain and felt her hurt. I called her the next day and invited her over. Within a couple of hours we were together. Magical! That was in the nineth month and we still see each other in the eleventh and life is good and I am very blessed. I love magical moments. I want more, I want to love even more women. I know that sounds loose? Or too carefree? But, I need to experience all the pleasures of life and I believe that my love for another is a gift. No really! I am a very caring loving person. My eyes are closing..it's time for bed. I have a very busy, fun filled day planned for tomorrow. I will watch her play even if it's raining; she brightens my day and lightens my heart. Thank you universe for all of my blessing. I may just have to make another appointment with the channeler who channels Ezekiel. I think he's cool! I just want to check in with him. He is truly my spirit guide, or one of them. Life is good! Thank you! My loves are so precious to me...thank you