Blue Eyed Blonde

Say a prayer for me that the blue eyed blonde emails me back. My heart needs to land somewhere, I'm flying in limbo! All the love in my heart is weighting it down; it needs to land before it crashes from the weight! Anyway, her blue eyes stole my heart. No, she's not exactly local, but close enough. Forget all the others, when I saw her eyes, I was lost in them; they wrapped around my heart and fastened their grip. I want so much to love someone; to be there for her. Of course, it would be heavenly to have her love me too; lovingly, love me.

I am so capable of loving that it would be a shame to waste it. Oh, my heart will always have a space for my summer love. God know I think about her. I think lately she has been very worried that I would mess up her life. Don't worry, I only have your best interest at heart - that might be hard to believe; but, I think now you know that is true! I did good Saturday night didn't I. She's good for you! And I laugh, because you'll never believe that either.

More about me..after all it's my BLOG. I have a great time at yoga last night, I think I wrote about that in yesterday's blog actually. God, I like that woman's hands on me. She is very caring and sensitive - I could use that. I need to be touched. I can only imagine what a tender hearted lover is she! Caring, slow and easy, I'm sure!

I'm daring to be a little more liberal in my blogging because it's not linked to my yahoo groups anymore. Blog I believe has caught on, because when you type your stuff on line, you get the feeling that someone will hear you; that what you have to say will be heard. Pretty much, it's a fault sense, but a sense none the less. When I journal in microsoft word or in my paper journal books - and believe me I do them all, I feel like I'll never be heard; but on line like this I actually feel like I'm talking to someone and maybe what I have to say matters.

I think the spirit guides are with me on this one; I think the lesson I had to learn with my last love is that I need to expect and welcome being loved myself. I need not just want to give love but be open and think that I am worthy of love myself. I think part of the ache I feel is not just me wanting to love someone, but wanting love in return. And a nice affectionate feminine nurturing love. I think that I finally got the message. Yes, I am worthy of love. A good balance of give and receive is good!

Personnally, I feel I have a lot to offer; well anyway, I hope I do. I want my last love to know, that she is very adorable and lovable. And yes, I do understand where she is coming from; actually, it makes me love her and understand her all the more. She told me one time, that she was scared all the time; so am I. I am amazed to hear her speak; she'd brilliant! She has a mind like a steel trap; I wish I did, although taking enough nutritional supplements helps.

Okay, I have to steer back to me again. That is how my heart works too; it keeps drifting back to thoughts and feelings of her and I have to steer it back again.

It's 1:00 A.M. Friday 12/9/05..no wonder my eyes wanted to close. I think I was up before 7:00 A.M. this morning.

Boy, I can hear the wind hollowing through the patio door edges. It's 12F degrees outside and with that wind; I'm sure the chill factor is below zero. Have you noticed, the weather people do not give us the chill factor anymore; or do they, I have to listening, as if I really care!

Well, tomorrow evening is poker, it will be fine, I just need a special love now. I need some excitement; you know, first date jiggers. I hope I do better next time, I wasn't very good.

Well, I guess it's time for bed, the fire in the fireplace has burned down to ashes. Emma my faithful bodyguard has settled down to a comfortable spot on the livingroom carpet. She's laying here because I'm sitting on the couch here; when I move into the bedroom then she'll get up and move too!

Speaking of moving, I can't keep my eyes open. One quick prayer: Angel of god my guardian near, whom with the grace of god protects me here. Ever this day be at my side to light and guard; to rule and guide. Amen. Have the blue eyed blonde email me, please! My spirit guide will you talk to her spirit guide?

Good night, and thank you!