I Was Just Thinking About You!

I'm doing well today, thank you! I'm sipping decaf enjoying the after taste of the Portobello Mushroom Garlic Bisque, with Croissant. Anyway, suddenly I thought about you. Yes, I'm sitting at one of those high tables near the entrance, watching pretty girls go in and out. So far, you got them all beat!

You were and still are difficult to love; but I do immensely. Weird of me, I know! Frankly, I love little spitfires, and one you are! In retrospect, what I love about you most is your classiness. Yes! You listened, didn't interrupt and spoke brilliantly. I am useless noise compared to your brilliant articulate words; and I believe under pressure, meeting with strangers, you excel and come across as bright, articulate and classy. I don't care if you dsspise me, it's what I think of you. You are a self made successful woman, you should be very proud of yourself. I have told you this, I know.

Y0u are adorable in that you never corrected my speak or my grammar. I am tring to better myself; believe me! My ex always corrected me so much, that I never cared to speak when we were with friends. She corrected me and talked over me and cut me off. Yes, abusively! Sometimes worse than my mother ever was when I was young. I'm not complaining; I don't believe in complaining, I believe in resolving the problem and sometimes that means removing yourself from the situation. I am so glad I made the more, you were the icing on the cake. You were a gift from god; okay, the universe! See, and you think you don't help people; or do not make a difference! I think you are wonderful!

Funny, how I forget the bad and concentrate on remembering the positive! And I think that is why my long term relationship ex and I remain friends. Even though we didn't get along, I think we respect each other now. I trust her and I can call her if for ever something serious came along and I need to. Too bad you and I do not have a relationship like that; well think about it. I know you don't like me very much right now. I think once you are done with someone, you are truly finished with them; I wish it wasn't that way! Because, I am stable and could be a source of consistency in your life. I care and I am trust worry! If someday you feel differently, keep me in mind; I have your best interest at heart. Truly I do!

I'm not going anywhere! You see, I don't do relationships either so it seems, I pulled away too, maybe first! Remember!

It seems I can't get along too well with women my age. Sorry, to say that; well, if they are very active I can; then I have something in common. Beyond the runners and the people who are younger than myself it's just not good out here. So, I'm happy alone, I guess I better be! You were good for me, as short lived as it was ( I won't call it a relationship, we don't do them). Actually, you taught me a lot. You are quit amazing! You taught me, along with my therapist, that abuse is not to be tolerated, no excuses.

Well, back to my soup and writing..I'll be heading home soon. I have yoga this evening and I am so looking forward to it. I love it! My body is firm. I look damn good for my age! Damn, I'm cute! I'm letting my hair grow too! I'm so damn cute, that I am very picky when it comes to women; very picky! I will NOT settle; I'd rather be alone.

Happy trails!

It is 10:00 PM now. I had a great yoga class; I talked to three different people; that is good for me. I'm beginning to know the women. I really like the instructor, she touched me again this week, my back, my neck, my hand and then she patted my hand. Hey, I need this! I'm not getting any human contact as of late! God, and I miss human touch. I wonder if she senses this; she may be very intuitive and spiritual.

I have come to find out too, that I am not the only one that will be alone and by passing the holiday (as someone referred to it). She was bypassing it; I let her know I was too! I have another friend who is not doing family either. So, I am feeling pretty good about it! I don't miss any of them. I am feely strong and sound. Frankly, this year I will not even get the phone call invitation; I know I won't and I'm glad! I just do not want to deal with them, at all!

You know it doesn't even bother me; it's just a holiday; overrated at that! Christmas eve morning I will go to Frontrunners. They are my family! I wish you could be there too, I know you won't be! You know, have breakfast with us, sit next to me. It's no big deal, I won't expect you!

I hope you do okay; just know I care very much. You are very important to me. You don't have to even like me; it doesn't even matter. You know that I am use to one-way relationships; I have had hundreds of them!

I'm writing this and watching Women Doc's on the Discovery channel. I love that show; this particular surgical team is made up of all women; just fabulous. Just twenty or less years ago you wouldn't see all women teams. This is wonderful. Who knows, maybe in my next life!

I think in this life I am meant to relax from here on out! Let me tell you, in retrospect, looking back, the working years go fast! So, it is important to do all you can to land a good paying job with benefits (that is if you can still find a good paying job with benefits too.) Even if you are not particularly fond of the job; just tell yourself you love it! Sock a lot of money away; never, never live out of your means. Think twice before you buy something you really think you need; buy used Enterprise cars. Move and live close to work. I think too, if you can't come up with 20% down payment on a house or condo; don't worry about it - you will save money in interest, taxes, maybe condo fees, repairs! It probably all balances out. Never spend more than one weeks' wages on rent or house payment. Save, and invest in tax deferred funds that are very diversified; like the STAR account at Vanguard. Call them for advice; it would be worth it. Beware of front load funds or even back-load funds; I think they are called Class B? Vanguard agents are salaried and their fund are non-loaded! They have my vote!

Oh, and most important of all, remember you can't buy love; she should love you for your wonderful qualities alone; I know I do! I know you are subborn and must have your way; I love that about you!