Little Sad

Between you and me, Blog, I'm a little sad today. Yeah, since last weekend, I'm just a little sad. Seems I've lost all hope; I have finally seen the light.

If only the blue eyed blonde from KC would have emailed me; then, I would have felt better. I'm just a little down.

Seems I don't fit just right anywhere. I"m full of life; but there's no life out there. I wish I had somone who loved me. That's odd that I would even say that to myself, much less write it down! It's like admiting weakness or neediness; it's hard for me to do that. But, yeah, that's what the ache is all about.

I'm tired of hearing about other's people's love affairs; worse yet, seeing them! I can't talk about myself or what's not going on with me; I just can't. The whole thing was supposed to be a secret and I blew it so that's one of my big mistakes. I assumed!

It doesn't matter! Well, yes, it matters, to me only. But, other than that, it really doesn't matter. I guess it was all a mistake; none of it meant anything.

I don't feel like going tomorrow. I don't feel like doing anything. I just don't feel like participating in anything right now. I'll have to force myself.

Life is not good today; maybe tomorrow will be better. The blue eyed blonde would have been a very nice distraction. I sure could use a distraction. I need something to dream about - to hope for. I"m not complaining, I just don't feel very well emotionally, right now. I'll be better, maybe tomorrow.

I don't fit in anywhere it seems; I just don't fit in. I'm not doing good today; I'm a little sad.

I don't miss my family; it's not about them! I'm sad because I can't seen to be comfortable or happy without a relationship or in a relationship. Although I was very happy this past summer. I didn't have the ache in my heart then.

I just want to be sexually attracted to someone and still have a warm loving relationship with them. I want us to feel the same about each other. Does that ever really happen? I'm so disillusioned; so sad!

I guess I'll just go to bed and sleep. Sleeping is good; it's an escape; it's like a "time out" from reality.

I like when my yoga instructor touches me; it feels good to have someone touch me in a caring way; carefully, and slow.

I loved when the good doctor sensed I needed a hug and hugged me; it healed my heart, I was very broken back then. She gave me hope and showed me love.

I'm sad, but tomorrow will be a better day.

Having love like I did a while back is wonderful; only it hurts so bad when its gone. I need to move on and I'm working on it. It's just hard; typical women my age or nothing like me. I don't fit in. I'm in a bad place right now.
I'm in such a bad place. I need to believe in myself and feel likable. It's hard when hope is gone. She is so gone..

I did to regain my strength and just go after someone new; I have and I'm waiting..I need to be very patient. I pray and I continue to pray. I thank the universe for all of my blessings.

I could use a little sexual healing. I need to hear from the blue eyed blonde; I so need a distraction.

I thank god and the universe for all of my many blessings and gifts. I know that I am very fortunate to be healthy, active, and nice looking.

I wanted to love her and I do. I miss her. I don't think I'll run in the morning; it's too cold. Oh, I don't know what I'm going to do. Whatever I do, I will be forcing myself to do it. I use to have hope and looked and was grateful for a chance to see her; now, I don't have that and I feel empty. If I'm not loving someone I feel empty.

I'm tired...it's late..good night!

Send me some love, will you! I'm slipping into despair; I need some help here! Lead me down the right path and please heal my heart!

Okay, I'm done..I'm done complaining.. I'll be better tomorrow.

I'm cold!