A change is in the wind..

and it is very windy today...

Wednesday, April 4th, 2007 PST

[Change]
Libra (Sep 23 - Oct 22)
Relationships are usually on your mind and today is no exception. But now there is something else going on, for you aren't interested in simply pleasing others. You are driven by a deep need to accomplish something of substance. You have a chance to positively impact the future and as long as you aren't selfish, you should make it happen.

I guess we all like to think we have some impact on other people's lives. I think all of my life I have been youthful, active, positive and cute (when I was a kid it was considered a sin to be self-confident so even now a slight tinge of guilt and fear creeps into my psychic when I "brag"!).

This purple is pretty .. for Easter. Anyway, I have tried to be an example to others that if I can be active therefore healthy and sexual so can you! Too bad! No one has caught on.

People "let" life live them..instead of living life. Most people are inertia and just floating along in the breeze allowing life to affect them while they make no effort to go against the current. They concentrate on staying cute until they get married and then marriage becomes an excuse to "let it all go". Or they make no time for themselves. People, it's like the oxygen mask on the plane as the airline stewart demonstrates...put the mask on "yourself" first.

If you are healthy and happy then the rest of your family will be too. Do not think you have to sacrifice your health and happiness out of a sense of duty or guilt? Even though they may complain about your selfishness..in the long run they and you will be happier.

Learn to delegate chores and duties. Make every member of your family responsible and do not hesitate to give the reason. "Because I said so and I'm the parent"! Use that if a reasonable explanation does not suffice. If your child develops a smart mouth...smack it! :) Remember your the parent. Besides that sudden element of surprise will knock their socks off and they are more likely to respect you in the future! Yes, I said "respect"! "I'm the parent; I'm the money maker in this household..". That should be answer enough, don't you think. :)

What ever happened to words like honor, integrity, and respect? I would remind my kids to try to live by these virtues. Not like the church or the government....warn them!

When I was very young every kid had to respect authority. Kids didn't stand a chance! We had to respect all adults and listen to them sometimes to the extent of abuse. Kids were not protected. Kids had no rights. But, that's another blog entry some day.

I think kids today are fabulous. They are so smart. Don't under estimate your kid. Just love them very much with lots of hugs. Let them know you think they are precious.

Have your heart and head clear of all junk before you even "think" about having kids. Mistake number one.. that most people make. They don't plan! Kids just happen! And in the long run both kids and parents suffer because the parents were "not ready" to love another human being and give a lot of their time and care to others. Get your needs met first? You can only love another as much as you love yourself..

But, I think the best that you can put into that child from baby on up to about ten...and you got it made. Build a good foundation and you will have an intelligent, happy child with lots of common sense. Because too your kid sees that you are level headed, cool, calm and collected and intelligent and wise. Be thrifty and teach your kids about money and the fact that lots of useless junk can't buy happiness. If I told you what I lived on a month...you simply would not believe it...talk about thrifty!

I know it's hard.. you love your kids.. but mainly you don't want your kids to feel less valued by others. You see the other kids with nice stuff and you want your kid to be accepted. Oh, that's all bull shit. I went to grade school with a girl whose parents had nothing. My mother (what a problem she was..) said they were sloppy. Frankly, I envied the girl because I could tell she was loved, confident and very smart. She was going to go far! It made me sad because I envied her and my mother thought she wasn't pretty or stylist enough. I on the other hand never felt loved, was always doubtful and very fearful. I was shy and afraid of everything. I was cute though, with cute clothes. And I know on Easter Sunday I made the poor country farm girls from big families with a cavity in her front tooth feel terrible. Her daddy had a beer gut...he wasn't giving up anything while his wife and kids were skin and bones. It made my heart ache. Here, my mother had me (a little lesbian) all dressed up in a suit with dyed shoes, matching gloves and hat and I pranced up to communion (she had to show me off for some reason... don't ask me why?) All I know is that I was embarrassed while this poor skinny kid sat there and told me I looked beautiful. It broke my heart! I did not belong there ..in that family! I was in the wrong family. They say we choose our families...well, then I made a big mistake!

I think that's why I fell in love with the good doctor (oh, I'll explain it again some other time). But she has the most wonderful heart. I felt it! I felt it in her arms around me. Both our hearts hurt that day in the fall of 04. I think of her often. And if thought is prayer she is very happy, healthy, and loved and her family is well. I love her - still. She changed my life. She saved my life! I knew the woman a probably all of five hours; yet, she showed me more love in a moment when I needed it most then what I had felt in a life time. I will always love her for that! She was there for me when I needed her most! The universe sent her to me. She was perfect. I fell so in love and that made me realize that my life was all wrong for me. So, the outcome? Two extreme changes: Ending a fifteen year relationship (although we remain good friends and I still love her) and distancing myself from my family. The biggest blessing of all! I never think of them and I never miss them....not one second! I say. "Good riddance"! Free at last...thank god almighty...free at last!