transition lens...

I love the commercials. Anyway, is my nose ever stopped up. If I bend down it runs. If it's not running, it's tingling and then I sneeze. I guess it's allergies.

But, I never noticed it yesterday when I was out at the park riding my bicycle for 100 miles (in under 8 hours). Oh of course my nose rang the whole time....that's a given. That's normal for me!

I wore my transition lens yesterday..I really like them. They are just the right tint shade.

I went swimming today for about an hour. My nose was fine before I went swimming, so I can only assume the water really messes up my nose and sinuses. Yes, I'm breathing threw my mouth now.

Yoga is this evening at seven. I'll probably go anyway. I love yoga.

But I need to sing and play my guitar, draw (I have art tomorrow). And I have many books to read and recorded TV to catch up on.

But, I'll be tired probably at eleven. Still, I"ll try to do what I can. I love my life! I love my friends! I love my lover, but I want another...and I have some one in mind. She's married too. Personally, I don't think it's wrong. We all have our different life styles, needs and wants. If she's happy and satisfied trust me...everything goes better. It's loves, common loves and business...but what if something is terribly missing. I know how that is..because I experienced for many years. I was in a relationship with a man for years...but my heart ached so bad for her. If only I could have been with her for loving moments.. I could have handled it all. See, religious and social boundaries, borders, rules, and rumors should not exist. I firmly believe we should live by our hearts.

I miss my ex ( a woman, I was with for 15 years) so for sure will talk to her tomorrow. At the end of the month her out-of-state girlfriend will come to live with her. So, I'm taking every opportunity to spend one on one time with her now while I have the chance. We are still very close - good friends. She's watches my back...I watch hers. She has never spent more than a week with her girlfriend and now this woman will quit her job and will move in and then look for a job! I see "red flags" but it's really none of my business. Besides, she has enough friends who easily speak their minds and offer advice.

Then again I have some friends who feel that if you don't have someone in your life..I don't know.. it must be devastating for them to think about living without someone...no matter if they are unhappy...that you are nothing without someone. Personally, I don't feel that way. I love myself enough for two are more people. I love my life.. I love the things I love to do. I can't be joined at the hip. You see if didn't come from a big family of many close siblings...I think that might make a difference...but I"m not sure. I was very much alone as a kid. I learned to be happy alone. I really don't need to live with someone right now.

All I have to say is that I will have to be really in love to want to live with someone..and only if it works out for them and me.. otherwise I would love to have another lover. Just how wonderful and fullfilling is that? It's exactly what I wanted and her too evidently..but it works for us.

See, the older we get and the fluid life is for each of us, we find that we have all been through the raising of children (well, not me) and time with spouses and marriages and long term relationships. We all have our "past". We are no longer "single, simple and inexperienced with life" and first starting out like 20 year olds. We have ties....like a husband maybe and kids..and woman need their loving moments with other women....I mean intimacy. If it's right I think it should be. And I'm more than welling.. if it works for her. It can be very beautiful and fullfilling.. I know because I've lived it.

I have a married lover and I feel there is room for another lover. I have someone in mind. I wish she could read my heart and my soul. I feel we belong together in intimacy..our spirits are connected and our hearts... Think what you want.

My present lover: I know why she is there with him..for years now. I will not flaunt myself in front of him. The poor man has feelings. He knows about her..for years now. And now about me. I'm sure he just wants her there. They have a past, a history. I guess her needs are met..weekly with me and mine with her.

But, back to the nother love and my spirit and heart cannot forget her. I think of her every day. I see her there before me; I feel her heart. One day for a brief moment our hearts connected...I don't think that they ever disconnected. I just know that some day.. and probably soon I'll be here for her too. I'm waiting! I met her in the spring of 2004. I don't want to forget her. There was just something in everything about her. If thought are prayers she is doing fine. If thoughts and dreams come true I'll be with her one day soon...if only for moments. Moments that are loving and healing and spiritually connected. You see I think there was something missing in her life....something missing.

Personally, I think life is too rigid, too formal, too many boundaries and labels and rules and norms. I believe in loving where love is needed. If she and I connect on a sexual level and we fulfil each other's hearts and needs...that is what it will be then.

I love my freedom. It's funny too. Some days, some weeks I really miss her and others I'm thinking of another. But, I'm always grateful and glad when we have our magical moments together.

I life for magical moment between just she and I. I share precious magical moments with one, but there is another too that I feel are moments together could be magical and beautiful and fulfilling.

Sometimes it's all we need...a few hours together for each other only.. a week. Something we can't find in any one else, or anywhere else. You see the time I spend with my lover is just that, time for us. Time to love and share. Time that is magical.