I'm Better Now

I'm better now. It's 11:11 P.M. and I'm better.

I rode my bicycle in the park, and although motorist can be quit something all-in-all the ride was good.

The guys did a great tune-up and the bicycle runs good. I think Easter I may do the trail across the river and make a big loop of 32 miles are more. I'll go in the morning before the crowds venture out; but then again Easter could be slow.

I'll be spending Easter alone. I ditched the family about a year ago; well, I haven't missed them yet. I'm free for the first time in my life of any mental, guilt or duty games. I'm free to be me and not some matriarchal servant.

I'll miss my summer 05 love. I think about her on every holiday and usually every day. I'm glad when I'm busy with someone so I don't think of her. I think I am getting better. It's only now, when someone asked, or if I see her name too added to emailed event planning. I wish her the best. She'll always be in my heart. I know that I am the farthest thing from her mind. Actually, she was very hard to be with and I measured every word. but, there were many times I felt needed and loved and I loved loving her. Her wonderful love filled a void in my heart; she went away but the memory of her spirit remains.

This evening too, my mind was occupied for I hit balls with S and L and then we decided to play nine holes. The weather was beautiful and the gentle warm evening breeze relaxing and invigorating at the same time. We got pizza afterwards.

Tommorow bicycle riding in the park with K and I hope her knee is good still. She has been taking glucosamine chondoitin every day. I take two in morning and two in the mornin. I feel wonderful!

Speaking of feeling wonderful I placed 13th amongst 174 half marathoners on Sunday. I was both shocked and proud. I was thrilled to death when I saw the race results in the paper. It was a fabulous run and I did it on three hours of sleep and one Valium. Actually, taken at 2:00 A.M. when I found that I could not get to sleep. I tried everything but had to reach desperate means when I knew I had to get up at 5:00 A.M. As soon as I took the Valium ( and I don't usually take them so it's a wonder I found any in my home) I mentally relaxed and fell right to sleep. I felt refreshed too and ready to go at 5:00 A.M. What a great beautiful day and I thank the universe for my good healthy, safety, pain-free life and running spree. I am most fortunate and I realize that gift.

Good night! Thanks for the fabulous day. Please keep the following safe, pain-free, happy, loved, brillant, talented and loving me: L, T, D, K and the little naked woman; oh and me! Thanks for everthing and for keeping me in good health, safe