A Great Ride!

I didn't mention to anyone that I invited you, nor do I mention cards or anything that I may send. I don't want the whole world to know I'm making a big ass of myself.

I missed you today. The ride was great! I rode with John, R&W. Between you and me, I didn't miss K who had to work. I saw a different light Saturday morning when T&J mentioned our situation. I said. " friends." K likes it. Things are beginning to change toward the negative because she is too assuming and too directing. People think we are more than friends..trust me we are not!

I think she is easing up and I'm glad. Don't try to mode me, think, or act for me. I don't like it! If I was in love I could maybe tolerate it; but that is not the case. She is right up there with E.

Anyway. It was wonderful being with my friends J, R&W and later on L&Cyn who rode the longest ride of 50 then came join us to eat. We rode 28 which was fine with me, I wanted to visit with J, R&W. And it was R&W's first time out. J did fabulous. I truly enjoyed it. I did good on the hills.

As it was I got home at three and had a message that L and S&M were going to play golf in the park. I had exactly 30 minutes to put things away, walk Emma, shower, and gather my golf clubs and get going. I made it.

My golf pretty much stank. Lou and I were both complaining about our golfing skills; but, towards the end, I finally found my groove and teed, putted, and hit the fairway pretty decent. When we play nine holes I enjoy carrying my clubs in my back-pack type golf bag. So, it's great exercise..like I needed more. Anyway, it was fun!

Can't get around to finding the time to eat. Seems, I have heated my dinner three times in the microwave before I got around to eating it. But, that's okay. I enjoyed visiting with the neighbor while walking Emma, seeing L at home and chatting, and talking to T&J to tell them how the movie the Da Vinci Code was. It was good and not at all boring like predicted.

J might try to come to F's on Tues and Thursday evenings to run. I told her I wanted to do that more, so I learn of the up and coming runs. I can't believe that I have missed three already. I'm bumbing! They are getting all kinds of prizes and T-shirts without me. Did I let someone sway me? God, I hate when I do that! Why did I fall off the running wagon? Doesn't matter - I'm back on.

I still can't believe I didn't do "run for sight". I would have had enough time before the brunch I was supposed to attend. Then they showed me their medals and placks from a race in Troy. Damn! I'm envious! I'll be ready for the next 5k or 10k.

Anyway this week I want to work on increasing my pace by running fast short runs and over time increasing the distances. Hopefully, my pace and endurance will increase.

I have been riding my bicycle up hills and I noticed I did pretty good keeping up with J this morning on the hills.

Suddenly I got sleepy. Forgot I gotta send email to a couple of people yet.

Anyway, I missed you today. I miss what we had. I really do miss you.

Oh well! I'll just write like this from time to time, like I'm talking to you.

I wish I could share the beach with you...just you and me. There's a woman's beach.. very private. What we had felt very good to me... how in the hell did I mess that up? I now I didn't respect your wishes or your privacy and for that I am so sorry. I wish I could make it up somehow.

Anyway.....I wish you the best and lots of happiness. And if you should ever miss me...just call me...drop by...send a line. I would love to see you.

I'll be working the Frontrunners booth noon on Sat and 2 on Sunday...after I march in the parade.

I know I fell in love with you...not the other way around. So, I know that I am probably just a big annoyance to you. Sorry. I miss you...I'll get over it in about two more years.....maybe! But, I will always be here for you...remember? I told you that and I meant it. I love you and it's not something I made up in my head. It was not my idea to be a lesbian and it was not idea to fall in love with you..things just happen for some reason, I guess. I haven't figured it all out yet.

Namaste.