Sunday is a day for myself. I hope it will be pleasantly warmer so I can ride a great distance through the city.
But, I have a feeling it will be chilly. So, guess I'll spend the day alone. That's okay, I'd rather be alone then with them...those on the east side, whom I have separated myself from now...for a year it's been.
I have no regrets. I did what I had to do. I could care less if they thought that I was mentally ill. At least they can't have me committed as they could in years back..that is why I had to hold the line and wait and be patient and do as I was told and keep quiet about it.
I have the power within to create my own reality and my own environment. I'm working on it. I'm thinking magical, powerful thoughts. I'll let you know, dear blog, how it all goes.
In the mean time, I'm content. In Yoga class this evening, we learned to stay in the present and be content.
Sometimes I want to cry because I feel lost. Scared! Loney! I put up a good front...but, I'm more content then anything. It's much better now, in my life, now that I am in my freedom. Alone and free.. I had to do what I had to do to survive. I had to break away from them.
I miss Teresa and dream of feeling her arms around me. Her heart so close to mine - healing. I had never felt so loved. I touched her heart and she touched mine. She save my life that day..almost two years ago. In was in that moment that my life changed; for I knew what was never given to me in my childhood or young adulthood...love, warmth, affection, encouragement, nuturing was nell and a hollow heart follows and was formed..Teresa closed it for a time. My summer 05 love stopped the hurt. Too bad, I mess up the relationship out of ignorance.
Namaste!
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