I love her dearly....

My young friend who is 26 just called.. I love her dearly. She makes my day when she calls me and we talk. I just talked to her for about an hour. She is precious to me and it's been a while since we talked so we had a lot to talk about.

I love it when she calls me; my heart is light for hours later. It's like a natural high. I asked her about her job, the special cleansing diet she and her girlfriend are on. She says in her heart she feels more but is afraid to let on too much..she's being cautious. I said I understand that I am like that too.. afraid if you say too much you'll lose them.. or scare them off. She said her girlfirend will be out of town for a whole seven days soon for business. I said I would keep her company and cook dinner for her and we can hang out. She expressed thoughts of just going out and cutting loose. I told her she was a lot like me.. I like to do that to once in a while. I said I hope I'll be there with her when she does. She said she used to get too carried away. True she did (I loved it! She was so cute) but she always rode with someone and got home okay. I told her we'll keep it to a low roar. She said she misses hanging out with her friends but for one thing too, she has to save money...so do I. I told her I was almost glad the weather was bad this weekend so I would stay home and wouldn't spend money at the bar. She said her ex sent her email and she thinks her ex misses her. Her ex has custody, so to speak, and she misses her dog. She asked how I was doing without Emma. I said I missed her but probably won't get another dog for a while. We just talked about everything..that came to mind. I said I need a girlfriend and that the naked ladies walking around the shower and change room were doing me in. She said she would try to find me someone to date. I'll join groups I told her. She asked what kind of woman I like.. I said like me.. not butch. She thought she was a little butch. I told her she was perfect! And she is! We talked about painting our toenails and arching eyebrows..and pooping or not pooping on the diet she is on. I simply adore her! I may not see her until next weekend.. and then when I do... I'll hug her and hold her close to my heart.. till she lets go first. She hugged me at Christmas and her hugs have changed to longer and stronger. I think because she's in a good place now, with someone in her life..and she'll be fine.

We are a lot a like. I think the age difference makes our friendship so special that we think a like and can talk about anything. We are a lot a like. We are both caring and sensitive. She's in a new relationship and I am very happy for her. The young woman is good for her.

A while back I told her that I would have picked her out for her myself. In all honesty, I had to get over a little crush I had on her. Maybe too I was jealous because I was never in a wonderful, sexual, loving, fun, laughing, giggling relationship with a young woman when I was that age.

But, today I'm okay. Sometimes I think if only I was at least 25 years younger... But, you know, there is a woman out there just like her, or just like me whom I will meet very soon and share the same kind of relationship. I feel it coming; because this time I want it. I'm ready for it. And I have my sweet friend thinking good thoughts for me. I know she cares about me and wants me to be happy.

All along after I split with my partner of fifteen years I wasn't ready.. but I think I am now. And I think that I am mature enough and self-confident enough now to be myself in a relationship. I will not turn myself totally over to the woman in my relationship. I will not lose myself because I will have my young friend to keep me grounded...like I think I keep her a little grounded too.

I stick to my guns with my afternoon lover...sometimes she always wants me to participate in things she is doing; but, she is more competitive than I am. I run for health mainly and not to be competitive. I care about her; but ..... I think I'm still looking for that gentle affection that I need. I don't know... I feel there is someone yet to come to me soon.. I can feel it.

It's weird isn't it...I just told my young friend that if she runs in the morning (in the rain, ice or no matter what - a flood) to call me. See the difference that "love" makes.

God I love her.. And who knows if we were the same age would I still love her like this..or is it the sweet, fresh way she has about her that is so dear to me. She and I talk as equals..no matter the 33 years that separates us. We are friends...I never preach like the years have taught me so much or anything, for that matter.. actually the years haven't really taught me anything. Well, if they did teach me anything, it was to be myself and most importantly to do what it takes to be happy. And she my young friend is very wise and mature for her age.

Some people experience grave illnesses in order to cause life changes; I guess I chose love as a way of change. My whole life opened up for me in the spring of 2004 when events began turning.. No I didn't get sick to have an awakening or to make a life change.. I fell "head-over-heels" in love. I was blown away... well it's a long story and I won't go into it here. She was placed in my life by the universe.. she was my catalyst to change and happier life. I'll never forget her - the good doctor. I think of her often and will always love her. She was just what I needed and she saved my life. I think that day, she felt bad that she couldn't help me..but she did help me. She made me feel very loved..just holding me for a little bit like she did. I felt her heart!

Love is a wonderful thing. It's the reason why spiritual beings come to earth. There is nothing more priceless than being in love......and my young friend agrees.