Social day.. restful evening

Sometimes I need to a quiet evening. I ran with the group and visited great friends until noon at the local coffee establishment.

I tried to keep up with a fast runner, a good friend, who ended up feeling bad that she went too fast. She said. "I feel felt bad. You should have set the pace." and I said. "I would have felt bad slowing you up." Mike was running with us and he wanted to go slower too. He was getting back into running. So he and I had a great run talking about BMW motorcycles. He said they are built better and thousands cheaper than Harley's. And quiet!

Breakfast was great! I think I'm finding something out and that I truly enjoy these conversations with my friends. They are so cool and conversation comes so easy.

I'm not envious at all. Is that silly? I have friends who are in new relationships and I have friends who are in long term relationships. I am not envious at all.

I think relationships are hard! Because they are! It's doing for two, thinking for two because you are always considering the other person. Maybe my sex just wasn't hot enough. I don't know. Maybe I wasn't hot enough in love? I don't know! I can't even say that I want to be hot in love.

I have an occasional lover and that suits me fine for now. I look forward to seeing her and spending our own special time together. I have no idea how long it will last; but, I will enjoy her while I have her.

Do I want to be in a relationship; only if it doesn't take any real hard work and I don't have to force it and only is she is cute, feminine, easy to smile and talk to and is crazy about me. And loves me and is not pushing or forceful but cherishes our moments together. I want an easy lover and someone to date and join me with my friends and her friends. No baggage or heavy problems. Easy going!

So, universe if you can set something like that up for me I'm game. She needs to be sensitive and loving like the good doctor. How about the good doctor? So what if she gets a little on the said..it's only love.

I'm doing that now and once more I am not jealous as long as we have what we have. I don't care if she does have a husband or other close friends I could wonder about. I don't care? As long as we have what we have. I wonder?

I wonder if my lover would go back to her girlfriend if she would see me too? Hm? She could have the best of both worlds, actually of three worlds! Hm?

Maybe I should have gone out this evening, I wouldn't be sitting here thinking so hard. Chances are I would be dancing right about now. Oh there was a damn drag show.. I hate them. This is a lesbian bar we don't want a damn drag show. Why don't they go to Freddies? Where the guys are? Lesbian don't care about male drag shows and stuffed dresses with flat chests underneath? And they just love to hear themselves talk and carry on.. I don't?

Why does this woman cater to them? And besides it brings the straight couples in the place. It's a while thing this lesbians bar where the straights wander in at night to try to pick up a threesome (I guess?).