While I"m Waiting..

for my friend to get here.. I thought I would blog a bit about a comment I received yesterday. I was blogging in my "Memoir" bogger and I wrote about jumping in the deep end..or falling off a cliff. I"m not sure which medafor I used. But, more or less I guess I was describing a "mid life crisis". Mine was wonderful because I fell in love with an angel. Some people get life changing illness; but, I fell in love.

That experience changed my whole life. I truly think that the universe did send her to me as a cartharist for change. I got the message! Actually, I had no power over it. Between thinking about her constantly for four months and Ezekiel (a wonderful spirit guide channeled through Jeannine, a woman about my age) telling me that she was on the way and that she and I would spend the holiday togethers just about blew me away. I had to get ready!

Ezekiel said that the time I was meant to spend with my partner had come to an end. I ended a fifteen year relationship. Yes, that was tough. We were always good friends and remain good friends still, living right around the corner from each other and looking out for each other.

But what I wanted to write about was the fact that instead of experiencing and working through these crisis in my life we opt to medicate instead. Why? I don't anything here on earth is meant to remain the same or last forever. Life is fluid, an ongoing process, that we should embrace.

Sometimes something that seems so unbearable can turn out to be a blessing. Seemingly negative things happen to us to steer us in a different direction; hopefully one that benefits us. The universe sent me an angel.. I got the best message.

I didn't cover my problems (unfulfilled non affectionate lifestyle of my surroundings) with medication. Medication is only a bandaid anyway..the problem itself needs to be dealt with and sometimes that means ending relationships and moving on. I'm a free spirit.

Maybe we all are free spirits. Maybe it's why so many grown children visit and take care of relatives only out of guilt; Catholic guilt! It took three therapists for me to finally get the message that "I didn't have to" if it made me feel uncomfortable. What a relief! To finally have your feelings validated.

Life is amazing isn't it! Having someone make you feel that you are dependent on them solely for your livihood and survival. Sad to say many people are placed in those positions so they can't run away.. so the person mentally and emotionally doesn't have to be alone. Usually the most controlling people are the most neediest.

I think that I have accomplish what I really want to accomplish in life and that is NOT to be dependent on anyone. My family taught me that right off. I only got from them the bare necessities and they taught me not to ask for anything from them. I never wanted to marry and be dependent on a man, so I prayed, and got a dependable good paying job. The universe took care of me.

There was a point where I saw the rest of my life mapped out in front of me..that's when I fell in love. I have pictures of her from a Discovery Health TV show and I still look at them.