Now I Feel Bad!

Now I feel bad! Well, my two friends were here and asked if I saw anyone interesting at the bar last night! Well, I didn't really look. I just figured they were all on dates. It's hard to tell what is what.

I said it's hard to find women around my age who are active or like me. I asked if they had seen women around my age? These two woman are 30 and younger that I was talking to. I didn't mean to sound insensitive but it is rather true. Most women my age are overweight and sedentary and once more even worse unhealthy due to being overweight and in active.

I should have gone further into it but the L Word came on and we began to watch the show. But, my hindrance is that I work very hard to take care of myself. Believe me being thin and healthy is a gift yes; but, it's also hard work! I am blessed that I have always exercised and knew that I was doing myself a favor by exercising on a regular basis.

I didn't mean to sound mean and insensitive as I am sure that I did. I women grow old, fat and begin to look alike. Most women my age all have a certain look and it's a lot different then the way I look. I run, swim and work out hopefully at least three times a week.

Again I am sorry that I was insensitive with my remarks. My ex likes a big butt she said. Women that size do find women to hang with and date. I am the outsider.. the abnormal.

Most of my friends have partners. Most of my friends of all ages have partners. My ex has a partner and most of my friends are in relationship.. some for years.

My friend says its the Midwest farmer syndrome..she didn't say that. But she did say that it's the look of the Midwest. She said on either coast the women are hot like the lesbians on the L Word.

The beautiful women on the L Word disgusts my "Midwest" friends. Oh yeah, they hate the look and do not understand why lesbian don't look like lesbians. Is it just an excuse to be big and fat and wear men's clothes. And overweight women are usually unhealthy and have bad knees.

So, if I am sad sounding; well, yes, I am sad! I will probably remain alone because of all the extra work I do to stay fit and cute! I care and it's the way I want to look. It's fun to look a certain way at my age - younger and healthier.

Big women don't like me. Well, I'm just not their type and they are not my type. So there you are. They look at me like I am NUTS! Amazing!

Anyway, I felt bad! So I apologize but I wrote what was on my mind anyway.. so I guess that makes me a hypocrite or insensitive myself.

Trust me.. I am too skinny for a lot of women my age. Too, ninety percent of them couldn't keep up with me if they tried and make all kinds of excuses why they can't.

Oops! there I go again!