What a grip!

I just came across your picture from the station and run for sight. I think that was the first day I realized you touched my heart. I watched you watching the kids and my heart melted. It all started for me that day. May 1st. By June 11th, I could no longer contain myself. I blew a kiss! What a grip! You have no idea how you make me feel. I must be out of my head....I have tried to ignore this; make it go away...I'm not doing so good.

Once more..nothing has changed. I looked at the group picture see you and feel the same as I did then. Amazing! I feel love!

How you touched my heart is unbelievable to me. Wish I could hold you; listen to you tell me things....

I miss you. I must be out of my ever love'n head! You are complex, difficult. Maybe even your own worse enemy? I don't know what it is....it's like I see pass all of that. I know you're brilliant and quick. You're quite amazing.

Anyway, I just saw the picture and these feelings came roaring back into my heart. I just had to express them.

The last time I saw you was good. I was becoming more comfortable. Before I was very careful; I didn't want to push you further away.

My most precious moment? When you were watching dynamite; all curled up in the blanket. Just your little nose, lips..and your hair.. my heart ached. I just wanted to hold you so badly.

Well, I have to go now.. I have to stop thinking about this stuff. But, I am so glad we had that time together..it was priceless to me. A gift! To me, your precious and beautiful...and loved, very much.

I think, no I know, that I think about you everyday. I know you don't feel love..so you probably just think I'm weak and a little sick...needy perhaps. Oh let me add a few more: sad, pitiful. Well, I'm not. I'm perfectly happy and as successful as I want to be. I don't really think I need..I just love loving. I loved loving you. God, I wish I could hold you. Remember how I had to hug..sorry. You don't like hugs.. I know. Or pictures, I know. Abandoned animals you love. Nobody is going to break through that protective barrier are they? Did she? Does she? Does anyone? I'm safe, stable and I'm not going anywhere and i love you very much. I just want you in my life. I wish you could talk to me easily like you do..others. You just think I'm a sick-o.

I'm not..I want you in my life and I don't want you in my life. You were difficult; and you know this. I do/did love loving you. You let me be loving to you and I needed to do that. You awoke something in side of me that I loved feeling...I think I felt needed!

I wish I could hold you..

That's all I'm done for today..