X and more....

I just had a nice long conversation with my X. Things are fine between us, even though her girlfriend is moving up here probably and will be living with her.

I am very glad that she said G would be fine. I am glad because she is the most like family to me...she is my only family. God, I so wanted my summer love to be like family; she still feels like it to me, but she moved on, without me remaining close or in her life. I have a lot of friends but my X is the most like family.

Whew! I told her too, if I ever end up in a accident or anything not to call my family, none of them. She said to write it down too. I have not spoken to any of them or communicated in anyway in nearly a year now; I hope I never do.

My x has a very good attitude about life and reaching out and getting to know people and doing things. She totally enjoyed the recent "let's try to straighten gays in one day and fifty bucks" protest. She went back in the afternoon by herself and although she said she doesn't normally venture out on her own she was glad she did and truly enjoyed it. Then she talked about a woman at work, who just tends to herself and her husband and has no outside activity. No wonder when something happens to a spouse people are so devastated that they get sick and die or commit suicide.

My x was saying that her girlfriend works for non-profit health care in her state and that many seniors commit suicide after they lose a spouse because they get depressed and are ready to go. Well, being a spiritual person, I really see no wrong in that. They are just ready to go and they are done with this lifetime.

Personally, I look forward to living a long time. I just hope to god I get a younger lover soon. I am just so ready to be loving, caring nuturing. I want to celebrate her body, her beauty....anyway...earth to z, earth to z...get back on the subject! Whew!

Oh yeah, where was I? Oh, my lifetime and the next; well, I don't care if I die tomorrow, because I am so ready to come back to live my next life. First of all, I will choose very loving, caring, warm, compassionate, nuturing parents who are the wind beneath my wings but allow me to be free to fly away and explore life. I will deffinitely be a lesbian in my next life; but next time, I won't wait until I'm forty to celebrate my sexuality. Next time I won't be imprisioned by the evil ways of authoritarian, patriarchal, cold and convservative society, government and church. I will love and marvel at the wonder of her at least from the time as a teenager. I will be hungry at a young age....not starving, like I am now!

Having sex with men, was nothing, ust meaningless sex; orgasmic, sometimes. But, nothing compared to having sex with someone who has your body, mind, heart and soul. God, how I worshipped her! How she moves me! Him - it was just sex; all physical, not soul stirring. Her - heaven, the stars, the universe and beyond!

Is this what society and religion in general is so afraid of. Is this what men, controlling men, are afraid of? Who cares if a men and woman do not marry and procreate; I don't think we have to worry about becoming an extinct species. God only know there are 16 billion people and the number doubles every forty fornicating years...well, that's what causes it! Sorry, couldn't resist!

We are all spiritual beings except most of us just don't know it; we are too materialistic or too controlled by organized religion to realize it. But being spiritual being in human form, we can be born either straight or gay, because the spirit world knows no gender or sex nor age for that matter.

So, there is your answer people to what lies behind (or what causes?) homosexuality. It's easy people, just think about it! So what's the big fuss all about; except to control you, perhaps! Big controlling leaders need followers to feed their egos and line their pockets.

Have a nice day and be yourself and let others be themselves because sooner or later we will anyway! So, you might as well we happy in the beginning.

How dare anyone not allow someone to merely be themselves! Trust me these so called christians are not being chartible but merely correcting a problem, so they can claim to fix the problem at your monetary and emotional expense!