Sometimes life is just a little tough. My sweet young friend compliments me and makes me feel wonderful. She's a breath of fresh air. "Why do you hang around with those old women?" God I love her. God please help me! I'm begging here......
But that compliment has it's price even though I feel flattered I'm still saddened because I am stuck in my daydreams.
Sometimes I do think, I waste my precious time when I could be meeting someone...yeah but where? How? They just aren't out there. What's she going to do, fall out of the sky?
I do not fit neatly in any category. So you know what, I am not going to worry about it.
I believe in myself and I have to because I cannot give up hope. I am a flippin walking miracle and I will never change who I am or what I can do. I have to be true to myself first. I am an example of what any woman can be at my age. God, help me, I do appreciate all of my blessings and I know that I am truly blessed. But, where's that tender love I never had. Okay two times I had it and I guess that is better the never: The wonderful doctor and my love last summer. Both times I thought I died and went to heaven. Thank you universe and my spirit guides. I believe in myself. I believe I can do anything I wish. I am very fortunate. I can run around 12 miles and have slightly aching knees for only one day; because yoga stretches help and so does Glucosamine Chondroitin, MSM, SAME, gelatin and calcium. I am a Libra and we teach by showing example. I think I am here to teach by example only no one is looking or listening or even trying to help themselves.
I hope K remains my friend. I need her in my life. I just realized I truly need my refreshing younger friends. I love their spirit.
I am a little sad and sometimes lonely. I think about sex all the time. I make believe and dream about the wonderfully golden goddess. She as a wonderful accent. I love her belly. I love to see her at yoga. She hasn't a clue that I dream about her and would love to worship her.
Funny, life is so funny and I am so stuck here. I have these feelings; these wonderful glorious feelings with no place to put them accept in my mind, at night while I daydream. There is no warm, precious sweet body there close for me to touch.
This has to end. And if dreams come true it well. But for now I can only dream. Too bad; I'm a very loving person.
Guess I'll go to bed now....
Thank god for my friend and although I'm a little sad and feeling alone tonight, I have hope. I truly do not think the universe will let me down. I am trying to figure out what I need to do. I must need to change my thinking some how. I'm unique, I know it. Please god I need another love in my life like last summer I want to be very much in love like I was then. God, I adored her.
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