A great neighborhood

I love this neighborhood with runners, walkers and dog-walkers passing by. I can hear their chatter and enthusiasm on this wonderfully cool day.

I need to get my butt out there myself. I've done some yoga poses and walked my dog, but now I need to get serious.

All in all, the universe has put me in a wonderful location and position in life where I know to take care of myself to avoid ill health which comes along with age and obesity. I have done of them so I am most fortunate and very appreciative.

My life has made an about change in the last two years. I am changed tremendously becoming more like myself. Most of my life, I lead for others, trying to "please" society, the church and family. I have since ditched all those beliefs and should have many years ago. I was a fool. But, I was trapped; depressed and oppressed by society, government, family and the church. I had no alies. I was all alone and withdrew within myself. I dated men and secretly loved and desired women. I denied myself. I denied my heart.

Then 05SL last summer showed me what I had missed all my life. She was beautiful and I loved her passionately; once more, I'll never stop. There will always be a place for her in my heart; just as there is for the good doctor who saved my life by sensing I needed to be held. She gave me hope and the promise of life and love. I will never forget her and always love her.

Is love meant to come and go and last only a few precious moments with the memories carries us on the journeys. It appears to be that way for me; only encountering moments of love that last many lifetimes. Spiritual connections that allow my heart to beat on and on. Fuel for the soul.

I long for another love experience and with the universe ( and my subconscious self willing) helping, I plan on it happening very soon. She is her entering my world, I just need to let her in. Of course, I have competition, she's attractive.

I want the taste of love and the touch of flesh once again; I long for it. Waiting, doing without, makes it all the more precious and magical once given. A love connection is a true gift. I of all people truly realize that.

It's time for another gift of life. Just make her sweet and easy to be with - comfortable. I was on edge a year ago in 05 and when I did get comfortable. I did things to lose her. Apparantly, being in love means always keeping on your toes. I guess I got one slip up. I feel for her...what's the way she was raised I think; with orders and commands and a domineering force to be reckoned with. In my own growning up environment, I kept quiet, walking the line just bidding my time, waiting for it to past, till I was 21 and out of there - working, making my own living and emotionally parting ways. My partner was a cushion for 15 years and then that didn't even work anymore. I envisioned my partner being "like them".

Finally, I left it all behind, moved and started over and found love. Love that didn't last physically, but never leaving my heart. They were unbeknownst ways to survival at the time and I didn't realize that then- now I do. The universe has a loving way of taking care of us.

When I fell in love with the "unobtainable" one; Ezekile, a spirit channeled, said that the universe has to "rearrange" things. Not long after the "obtainable" entered my life. She was just what I needed. She was understanding, loving and magical.

Time for that run!