Relationship?

It's 4:41 AM and the the birds are beginning to sing. A neighbor just came home - and quiet at that. I would have been singing out loud suffering the effects of the drink..in years past. My window is open so I can hear and feel the wonderful night breeze. I love feeling the cool air on my skin.

I had a wonderful relationship last summer. I love to be loving and at times I felt needed. God I loved that. I loved loving her. Something happened along the way; I'm not sure what. Did we become ourselves? The novelty worn off? Did we become of afraid? I was beginning to feel comfortable. I loved doing things for her. It was a mistake I regret because it contributed to the demise of our relationship. I miss her. Oh well, I am healing and moving on; she has long time ago. It's harder for me.

I have to tell myself that people pass through our lives for reasons that are most times to benefit us and then they move on. Like spirit guides they come to our aid and help up along and go on their way. I love them for helping me through my journey. I'll never forget them; that is, the ones I know were here to actually help me. Sometimes total strangers help us and we are not even aware of being helped.

I'm sure many pass through my life everyday doing wonderful helpful deeds for me and I don't even realize it. But, whoever you are or may be I appreciate it very much.

I'm not quite sure how I feel about relationships. It is very difficult to speak in generalizations because it is such a personal thing. I truly believe in love and I believe in love at first sight. I love "knock-me-on-the-side-of-the-head" love. I love the moment I realize that I am in love; that, yes, she is someone who touches my heart.

I love tenderness, compassion and genuine unselfish kindness in people I meet. Someone with a "showing" warm heart; an affectionate loving person. Add that with feminine, firm and athletic and I'm in love. Oh, and be a blondie or light brown. Sorry, I'm not into natural gray. We are too young for that at any age. I take that back for people with very very dark hair, like my 05SL who has a silver streak.

I appreciate people who are happy and outgoing and concentrate on the positive and not the negative. Some people are literally killing themselves unknowingly because they are being so negative. Remember, your body hears every word you say. Think positive, be grateful and pray for help. Remember too, healthy and beauty come from within.

I think relationships are as healthy as we are. We must love ourselves in order to love others. You have to learn to love yourself first and relationships, then I think should come easily. I'm sure of it. I'm still waiting, but I'm sure of it!