A Spiritual Evening..

Sometimes I just like time to myself, a full day and evening to meditate, plan my future, and create my reality.

I visited my friend across the way, she was eating Natpolean Dynamite ice cream by her favorite buddies and mine, Ben and Jerry. So I had some too! And a frozen Eclaire. Well, I ran this morning with Frontrunners. But, the run went quick, very! We talked. Seems they all went to N's last night. I'm sure it looked just like M's on a Tuesday. I'll catch them next week maybe. Maybe not. Don't know. I have another thought in mind.

Hey, how did I get sidetracked from Ben and Jerry? Anyway, L said she bought Natpolean Dynamite because that favor is the combination of two other flavors, my favorite and her's. Cherry Garcia and New York Chocolate Chunk. Good Stuff! I only had a little bit!

She was watching the home sale channel. I said I was taking advantage of dropping by while I still had the chance and before her girlfriend moves up from another state. I said I figured Emma and I just can't come knocking on her door then without warning. She said we could but they may not answer. I said understand. I'm glad she has a girlfriend. It's decreases the guilt slightly. I'm hoping I did us both a favor two years ago.

I was watching a recorded Oprah show and she was telling this obsese woman, who smoked that the woman should listen to the warning signs, because the first one is a subtle hint, the second a nudge, the third a knock and the fourth a punch. In other words, if you do not learn the lessons early on; the lessons become harder..until possibly serious illness.

Well, it common sense. I wonder why people punish themselves when they are down and make matters worse, instead of getting help early on and heading off disaster.

I feel I am very blessed in that respect. So, I had a spirtual walk with my dog, Emma. Then I read some spiritual enlightening books, rather glanced at the pages I opened up by fate and figured they were the ones I was meant to read. Bingo! Right on!

I read where having a negative childhood may prepare you to listen and understand someone elses bad childhood experience. I learned compassion. It feels good when you love someone and they actually make you feel emotionally and physically needed. It was a wonderful, fullfilling experience. My heart misses her; but she was only meant to touch my life for a short time. I wish I could hold her.

She's very intelligent, sharp and quick and a leader. I read that some need to be controlling to feel safe and they become leaders and teachers. This may me miss her even more. I understand so much better now. I was ignorant to let my own past effect my emotions and judgement. I miss her. I know she is fine and happy and with someone else. I'm glad even though a little sad. But, if you didn't care, you can't hurt. I had a wonderful 05 summers. What a wonderful human being who came to help me..live.

Fall of 04 was a changing time and another touched my heart so and helped me heal. I was thinking about her this evening too. How she touched my life, saved it! How we shared magical perfect timing sighting. What a wonderful human being who came to help me.. live.

Ezekiel, on one occasion said I hesitate to ask for help; but, I should allow people to help me. Well, I did and they were wonderfully magical.

Now that I have decided to live in the present, so the future can happen, I feel more positive change is coming very soon. Because I believe a chain of well wishers and healers are guiding me. I guess like the Celestine Prophecy I know another spiritual guide will be in my life very soon, next week.

Not long ago I was a little sad I guess and told someone that "there is no place for me". I'm physically fit and I need the same. So, hoping I meet the same soon.

I want my relationship to be comfortable, casual and light. Fun! Lighthearted! Spiritual! Healthy, feminine and athletic. A runner? We'll see!

I'm not finished yet, I have too much to give; too much to recieve. I think it's wonderful to feel so deeply that you think nothing can ever compare. But, what I am finding is that I learn and take away something different from each wonderful soul I come in contact with.

I think I'm ready for a little fun, compassionate, sensual intimacy. It's scary to think about it now but I know when she comes along she will be perfect just like my last two spiritual guides were. I need to believe that and I finally got to the point where I do.

She will be adorable and wonderful and coming soon to a threatre near me...for my own personal private viewing.