Is it just not in the cards?

Have you ever been in a situation where you would love to have an opportunity to get someone to the side to be able to talk to them? Maybe ask them out! And of course it will never happen. Especially, after you have decided that you want it to happen. And even if I did get her off to the side and asked her, she probably wouldn't go. We did have good conversation one evening. My thoughts have changed and I think I like her. I like her humor. I like her sensitivity that I think I see. I know, I need to be careful as to not see only what I want to see be there. I need to be realistic.

I guess it's just not in the cards? I'm not trying anymore! Now I feel I should go ahead and go out with someone because they asked me (odd, I used to be like that with guys too when I was very young, thinking I was asked for a reason, maybe I should go - yeah right!. Needless to say, nothing ever came of it, I'm still a lesbian! I only tried to be straight for stupid society, church, government and family - not that I had anyone against me or anything. And there were no other feminine lesbians - all Harley butches that scared the shit of me too!)

So, I guess I won't just go out with someone just cause they asked me. So, now it makes me think how this other person may feel if I ask her out and she is really not into me. I'll flirt enough! Now, I want more than companionship to be perfectly honest!

See I always wonder if they have asked me for a reason; that maybe I should go? Just because I do not feel sparks now (speaking of a firecracker fourth) doesn't mean I never well? I think this gal only wants companionship. I don't think I'll ever feel sparks and I am very sorry to say that. My first impression - she is too conservative and not giving and doesn't ask me what I want to do. So far, she makes the plans.

Well, in all truthfulness, I don't think I ever well. She makes the plans she doesn't consider me. "I"m going, do you want to go along". Well, my first thought is "No, thank you". There were no sparks in my heart as they flew about in the sky over the trees in the form of fireworks prior to the holiday. Sorry!

"I would have like it to be different, but some things just can't be forced! " (God, I hope this isn't what I hear!)

Why in the world do I want romance? Ya think because I'm human, with blood in my veins and feelings in my heart? Hello!

She's looking! Only I know she has a particular person in mind. Well, we'll see!

She's thinks I'm pretty remarkable - well, I just know this. Well, we'll see! Wish me luck?