Is it Meant To Be?

I had a great day with my friends! I love living so close to them, in the same city! My friends are my family!

My friends are wonderful, but I want to be "in love"! Now that is the tough part! I have a longing in my heart to love, be loving and make love.

But I have a problem. Well, probably most people would see it as a problem. And I guess I am having those projected thoughts, because maybe I have a problem with it myself. You see, I have a tendency to fall deeply for younger women.

I guess I have no sense! Am I trying to make up for lost time? In my thirties I tried to live the straight life. Oh god, I was so wrong to even try. Here I was trying to please everyone else but myself. I was so wrong!

But actually, when you think you are the only lesbian around it isn't too hard to fall into social routines. I was mostly in denial - well some of the time. Most of the time, I longed for the touch of a woman and my heart ached like hell - until she walked in the room. They were secret loves, the imaginary targets of my affections never knew how I felt. I kept it well hidden from them.

Anyway, I guess now...I wonder if subconsciously if I am trying to make up for lost time. Or, I just find young woman to be wonderfully precious.

I'm probably such weird! I have a lot of nerve to imagine or even dream about it.

Oh hell, why not!

Anyway, a woman can dream can't she?