Dianne
2006/07/13 7:30 PM
Wow, I just read about 20 previous messages and they were all very enlightening - regarding control. I like the one too about which would you prefer doing - giving or receiving. If you say giving, it means then you like the control of giving a certain gift etc., I like receiving personally because I am always surprised at the unexpected kindness of others; and then I think back and realize how lucky I am to have people care about me. Giving is harder for me because I care very much, I like to give but I am always so uncertain about what I write on the card, and wondering if I gave a good enough and appropriate gift. So, in my unprofessional analyzing of this I see that I needed love as a child, was uncertain how to get it, and tried very hard to please in order to get it but most times my needs were not filled. So, this has nothing to do in my case about controlling behavior; rather, it was my mother who was controlling and manipulative to get "her" needs met.. after a while I just gave up trying to get anything out of the non-existent relationship!
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