Suzanne was there at the gathering in all her wit. She correctly describes us as "unintentional friends". Seems we are always glad to see each other and great with hugs. She kisses my cheek. She massages my shoulders. Attention evidently needed more than I even realized.
I work up lonely and confused in the early morning hours. It's dark yet! I cried in the dark. I miss the good doctor so much! I miss her tender, caring, loving heart and her arms around me. The love I needed all my life from little on and never got. She has a soft touch and very compassionate heart. And I'll never see her again! And I miss her so much. I blew that too, by telling her how I felt. I lost a good doctor because my heart got in the way.
Compassionate loving hearts are very difficult to find. One might say she was kind out of profession. I prefer to believe she genuinely cared about me. I felt her heart so close to mine. I never felt more loved. I never needed loving more.
Life hurts! A Woman, C, who pay attention is crass and aloof and cold only pushes me farther away. As much as I need affection and kindness, I repel coldness and scolding.
Where is the tender heart? Do they make them at all? Why has my heart ached for same all of my life from little on? Who kicked me in the gut at such as early age?
I'm done crying now. So, I guess I'll be good for a few more months. I only pray to the universe to help me fill this void with sincere loving arms and tender kisses.
Universe? Please ease the pain and make my life magical with sweet, tender, compassionate love. Is there such a thing are only unintentional friends and absence lovers?
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
No comments:
Post a Comment