Siblings and how they shape our future!

I can't believe psychologist are first just getting around to studying the effects growing up with your brothers and sisters have on our lives.

Since you probably, or most likely have known them since their or your birth there is great reason to think that they have a great effect on your life.

I had a brother and step-sister but I really wasn't raised with them. My brother was never home and my sister lived with my grandmother until she got married at a young age.

I was "backward" according to my mother; especially when my sister came around with boys. I stayed in the house and hide she accused me of. Quit frankly, if she would have paid attention she would have noticed that I was different, yes a lesbian!

So, I was mostly raised in isolation. My brother was mean as was my mother's brother, so then, of course, it was okay that I get punched, kicked, tricked and examined too. So I was abused!

My step-sister was spoiled, bossy and slapped me. Seems I always pissed someone off when I finally developed just a wee bit of positive attitude. I'd get shock down real quick.

It seems just when I was getting a little self-confidence, bold, not afraid any longer, was when one of them who shoot me down. It seems they wanted to keep me depressed and broken. Injured! I always felt scared, unloved and injured.

Yes, my folks and siblings messed up my life. I tried hard to please them!

So then later on with boys, men and friends I think the only way to make and keep friends is to lose myself and be and do only what they want me to be and do. Yes, I am screwed. I lack self-esteem. I guess I was depressed as a child. It doesn't matter, I'm done with all of it.

It's been a long road and I'm tired! This blob is my venting device. I have to vent or I'll be dead already.