Now, after the running...

My toes hurt (I guess after running nine miles, I'm lucky if that is all that hurts) but I'm in a much better state of mind.

I'm in a good mood. Running just kind of clears my emotional head. Of course for most of the run, I thought about you. I believe too that I figured some things out. But, since I'm been back home, I forgot what they were.

I am so attracted to the untouchable. Well, really I'm not. I saw you, I looked into your eyes and fell in love with you. Amen. End of story! And I still love you, as complicated as you are - I love you.

A gal about your age told me I was a real catch! You know, I'm probably going to hang onto that for every cent it is worth and for a long time. But, I saw my reflection today in a window while running and I am cute! My hair longer and I love it. I look too! I am a catch!

But, you know what? It still doesn't get you "who" you want! Oh well! I think I'll have fun with this and flirt tonight. Might as well put my, could only be temorary, self-confidence to good use. I'll do a little flirty, but only if I see something worth flirting with. I just want to have fun.

I think I have discovered something through the years and that is what ever I feel inside gets put "out there" for people to interpret it the same way I feel it. One particular evening at a bar after I rode 30 miles, ran and who knows what else I was looking good. I was at my idea weight and fit and just felt very confident. Actually, I was ending my straight life as I knew it. Anyway, a guy wanted to dance with me because he thought that I was cool. He said I was self-confident and liked that. I was flattered and realized too that whatever you feel inside gets displayed on your outside in your posture, your eyes, and your smile for all the world to view.

So, we do make a difference and we do create our own realities. I'm going to knock 'em dead. I do that when I run too. That is, make sure I use good posture and run with confidence. I have to look good; I feel good!

It's 61 degrees out it was a wonderful running day; the breeze is first pitching up. Yes, I think I'll go out tonight and just see......

We shouldn't have run our relationship in the ground. We should have set ground rules. I don't care if you date others just as long as you see me once in a while. Try that! Maybe you won't burn the new one in the ground. You go full force and then fizzle.

I have no idea what I do; I haven't had that much experience dating because of being in a long relationship. Bottom line is: I don't know how to date. And I don't want a long relationship. And I want someone cute and adorable like you. You hate that don't you! :) And I love it so much! I want you!

I wish you would come out tonight and show yourself so I can flirt with you. I'm not telling where everyone is going; but it's a friendly place in E's neighborhood. I think C left before they mentioned it the other night - but maybe not. Anyway, they are gathering at seven. I think I'll get a salad.

Well, have to go practice a bit on my guitar. Maybe I better clean up my condo first.... and vacuum a little....I want it to be presentable. :)