You Don't Have a Man?

I just about came out to the firewood man, but thought differently about it! I don't particularly like it when men get a little too personal. I think Emma, my Rottweiler, sensed trouble and got between us when I was beginning to feel cornered. I really think Emma sensed it and that makes me want to cry for some reason. Damn, I'm going to miss that dog when she's gone! One of these days - she can't live forever, you know she's thirteen!

Straight woman should know that all you have to do is act uninterested and there they will be. In my case I need not act; I'm not interested and see that is intriguing to them too. The male ego! They think every woman wants them.

And I'm just politely nice, you know talking about the weather..etc. I don't lead these people on. All I know is that I don't want to be alone with some guy and have him ask "where's your man?" The caution flags go up.

He made me feel uneasy and I didn't like it one bit. I was corned as he stood in my kitchen doorway and asked me where my man was. "Dont' you have a man?" I really do think that Emma sensed my uneasiness and tried to distract the man by acting like she wanted to play and it worked, he started talking to her. I backed up a little so Emma could get in between us and she did. Good girl, Emma! All I did was take a step back and she knew what to do! Good girl, Emma!

I casually changed the subject and asked about his wife..which took him down her asthma and her unskilled doctor's path..moving the subject away from me. By now I'm back in the living room and he's moving toward the door and Emma is still positions in between us. Good girl, Emma! When she goes, I'm getting another Rottweiler.

I'm cautious for a reason. I know you have to nip situations in the bud before they even get a start. You see I've been "put in my place" in the past. You can't talk smart to a man; they're bigger than you are. You have to use psychology at best; be skilled and be smart and don't put yourself into vulnerable positions. Just saying "no" may not do it. Don't put yourself in the situation to begin with.. find a good woman! A woman about your size or smaller and feminine; of course, I guess they can be strong too.

I learned the lesson when I was a kid and my brother hit me and I hit him back; only he came back harder the next time...I learned not to hit back then; but walk away. I'ts hard to fight with yourself - don't participate. Yeah, I know it's frustrating and defeating but walk away... It's frustrating and daunting and breaks your spirit but you are still alive and not all bruised up.

It's no wonder I hate men - I've been kicked in the gut too many times and it has left it scars.

Life is so mixed up and assumed, the guy didn't have a clue that I'm a lesbian not that it would have mattered. I guess like everyone else they see what they want to see. But admitting I'm a lesbian might have incited him even more or enraged him? Who knows! Anyway, I think I have enough wood now for the rest of the year; more than enough! You just can't be nice to people...