So nice to see you!

It was so nice to see you this evening. I am going to have to find out what is going on with my heart; because, I cannot shake these feelings that I have for you. The unconditional love, I said I had for you isn't going anywhere. I said I would love you forever and I guess I will.

Tonight, was like the first day, long ago that I realized I loved you and I think that was May 1 st. But, really, the night you were curled up in a blanket sitting on the couch watching your favorite movie and giggling was the night my heart was lost to you, deep seated and heels dug in - so lost to you.

You probably can't stand me! That's funny, you can't talk to me because you can't stand me or "it's over, it's done!" And I can't talk to you because I love you so much. Well, I can't breath very well around you; once more, I'm afraid if I say too much it only will push you further away and I want you in my life no matter what shape or form. I am one nut case! I would do anything to hold you again. I know - fat chance.

Damn, the spirit world. Well, I wanted to see you and I did and I'm so grateful that I did. I guess I'm in awe of you. There's just something with everything about you.

Now, you are really going to put me to the test. See, I won the Oscar over desert; but now, the show most go on. There is no way I'm going to tell you how I feel about you because that will push you further away and forever.

It's okay, I have had years of practice, so many women didn't have a clue that I loved them very much.

Somehow, I just wanted you to know..but I can't. You gave me a gift; and now you are done with me.

Yes, I know where I stand...You merely tolerate me now. You are afraid that if you are kind to me I will make more out of it then I should. Reality hurts. I'll be glad when you get on an easier plane and see that yes, it is safe to talk to me more and I'll be okay. I should not try to analyze this; but, I think I got it pegged anyway. I think that fact only hurts me more. Just be nice to me and I won't make anything of it....I know where I stand. I know that you are done with me.

God, that hurts my heart; to think I held you so close to me. See, I just can't turn it off like that. Oh man, this hurts.

It's okay! I'm fine. It will just take awhile but I'll be fine. I'll learn to live with it. I'm fine. I just wished we could have sat down and talked about this face to face.

It's okay I'm fine. It was just so nice to see you! I'll behave, you won't have to worry about me being extra nice or winking or anything. But, I'm telling you this unconditional love for you, isn't going away soon. Don't worry, I'll hide it.

I know your heart is in another place now.. I'm history. I know that so don't feel threatened by my presence.

I think I'm going to bed; I tired.