Above it all spiritually

I'm trying so hard to be above all this emotional humanness and I think it's killing me. I run like hell to avoid the feelings.

If we are all spiritual and our thoughts are so powerful that they can transform the shape of water crystals why can't I change myself? Our bodies are made up of ninety percent water; so why can't I change my thoughts, wants and desires.

Oh I know, go back to suppressing them all like I did for sixteen years and even years previous to that. Deny myself feelings.

Just how does one go about stirring feelings in another? Another of like thoughts, wants, size and desires and emotional and mental likeness. In other words how do people ever go about getting together and coupling up? What chemistry?

I'm going for a run and the hell with it all!

People who fall in love and get comfortable with each other just get fat and sick anyway and I don't want that! I don't want someone questioning my every move either.

And why are people so weird that everything needs to be on their own terms. To me what only means they are extremely needy, controlling and out of control. Go figure!