Well, I'm trying to put what I have watched to use use in regards to putting the past aside and creating a new day, each day.
Okay, that is not working as well as I would like; but familiar firing synapses of the brain are hard to break.
I woke up twice with her in my dream. It was a nice dream; warm and sweet. It hurt my heart!
I need to knock this off! And why so why so I fall for the ones I fall for?
We see in others what we see in ourselves. I'm in big trouble here!
Since I ran hard yesterday and my toes hurt and I'll run this evening anyway, guess I'll just do yoga and play my guitar.
I'll check on Laverne (a friend's cat).
Sometimes I miss my old relationship; someone I could talk to and discuss things with and have someone watching out for my best interest - I think. Truthfully, I could never to back to that long term relationship. We are good friends now and that is very important. It just seems a little awkward her fussing over her girlfriend. No, actually it's amusing. She never fussed over me that way. Was never affectionate in public that I can remember. Let's face it, we never hit it off sexually.
Now, 05SL was a different story. I just totally messed that up. I'll never send her another card - I'm done. It's has to be. It truly hurts my heart. But, she is so totally done with me.
We can't go back in time physically, so why do I torture myself with thoughts of the past. Why do I relive all that?
This is where the training believes. LET IT GO!
Actually, I'm counting on myself from now on for everything! I'm my own best friend. I'm meditating and concentrating on caring about me. I'm the most important person in my life and the healthiest and the best looking and the most youthful.
I don't need the other people who only mess me up!
So why does my heart ache?
"How far down the rabbit hole" message was that if you concentrate on only one thought, well, when those synapses cells divide and renew the thought is reinforced and comes on stronger yet. So, every time I have an unwanted thought about loves past or loves present that I can't have, I need to push that thought aside I'll pray and go on with healthy youthful thoughts.
One problem of concentrating on the positive and making positive things happen in our lives is that the professors say we can't concentrate long enough at one time. Or, secretly we don't believe; otherwise, all our thought and wishes would come true.
So, I'll work on that today.
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