Absence of heartache today?

I felt love for my loves, present and past. But, my heart isn't aching! It can't afford to because I ran my butt off today.

I took vitamins and drank some energy drink that a friend gave me and set out for the path around the lake totalling four miles and ran around it three times as I vowed to do because the humidity is a low 35% and the temperature is moderate at about 80 degrees. The air is miraculously clear for the first time in months. The sky crystal clear and energizing my spirit.

I had a good run on the last lap I slowed to walk a couple of times. Now, I would like to take a nap because my eyes are tired but the caffeine that the energy drink contains keep me from relaxing enough to fall asleep. So, I sit and watch "How Far Down the Rabbit Hole Do You Want to Go?" and writing. Usually, the mundane and soothing voices performs as a strong sedative and knocks me right out. But not today even though I'm beat.

Oh I could quit with the running; I had to stop at the health club on the way back and work out of the weight machines. I try to get there now every other day to keep my arms firm and it is working on my arms, shoulders and back. So now my sports bras are getting tight around my ribs and getting uncomfortable. Guess I need to buy a size large?

It's two hours before I need to leave to run with the gay and lesbian group. Yeah, I know, four more miles today totaling about sixteen miles.

I almost fell asleep! My eyes are tired and I took a handful of vitamins to get my strength up again to run again this evening. I just had some pasta, with chicken, mushrooms, chopped tomato and herbs with olive oil.

Oops, almost dozed off again. This guy on the DVD is taking about thinking about how we want our lives to go and then planning it, concentrating and meditating and we get the results we want. We must persevere and not give up hope and not become lazy. We must be willing to sit down and take a piece of our day and give thanks and then plan our future. Yes, design our own future and know it will happen and look for the events that happen that prove we can plan our own realities and our future. Our brain picks up on this and repeats our wishes. You will say, I know that quantum physics works! Try it and apply it, just up your level of concentration and beliefs and do not give up on your dreams. Our thoughts, prayers and intentions happen and quantum physics explains this. The frontal lobe is the major place in our brain where are thoughts take up to the quantum field where we can create our day. Be Bold and ask for a response. Ask that it will be right outside the boundaries of what I can expect so it reinforces my behavior and I do it again. In other words, if I see results of my dreams and wishes that I have planned, then I am more likely to plan my day - every day.

Tomorrow morning I have a meeting planned with Ezekiel. He (well his voice is deep but he could be either gender or no gender - he's a spirit guide) channels through a woman. She is very ordinary and complains continuously about aches and pain and her family members. I think that if I had the supernatural gift to channel a spirit I would have a totally different attitude.

Anyway, I enjoy speaking with Ezekiel. I really do not have any problems, right now. I have no complaints and I am very blessed. But, I just want to see what he has to say and what he sees is in store for me.

He knows I love my freedom, yet I am a very loving person and love to love. I wish intimacy with a young, sweet, beautiful person. Who doesn't! Well, me more than the average person I guess since I missed out on all that when I was much younger. So I hunger for what I missed.

I think that is why I am very youthful in thought, mind, spirit and body. I plan it that way! I want it that way! Therefore it is! Hey, it's my life and my reality I create it the way I want it! You could too, if only you realized that you could! Organized religion doesn't want us to know our own brilliance and strength and I think that it is obvious way.

I'm looking forward to seeing my young friend this evening; she brightened my day, like icing on a cupcake. I daydreamed of her and the young doctor I love from a couple years past. I wish them both love and happiness.

Emoto, from Japan, have you heard of him? He discovered that thoughts transforms the shape of water crystals and he has the pictures to prove it. Yes, thoughts of love, for example, changing the shape of the water crystal. We are made up of 90% water - so just think about this. He recently had a water and peace festival...think about the possibilities.

It has also been know that groups of people praying at the same time for lower crime in Washington D.C. actually lowered the crime rate. It was proven.

We are very powerful people! Especially women, I believe because they can multitask and are intuitive. And I think through the ages males have known this and try to hold women down. Otherwise why would they have bothered? Think about it people!

Why do we have religions, strict governments, ruling men? Why? Well, we already know men are domineering and controlling and think they know everything when so many of them or dumber than dirt. Haven't you noticed? Women have to come along and clean up after men?

Most men are big babies and have to be treated special and allowed to drive the car. They must be pampered and given every toy and game imaginable. They must be entertained. Why? Beats me. Then they ignore their women and play with other men.

And they can sit there for hours and drool over other men running around courts and fields in competitive sports. Their gods?

I'm so glad that I am a fem lesbian wanting and enjoying the company of other fem lesbians. Trust me! It Slade's me to see "butch" lesbians of the couple carrying the cooler to a park, concert, or BBQ. Damn! If I would have wanted a man, I would have married one! Sorry, just can't do butch! It's just out of my realm of reality I guess?